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Pyrate Jenni ([info]pyratejenni) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2005-04-26 21:45:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:*headachey*

D&D Pregnancy Wank: Revenge of the Gaming Geeks.
Over in bad_rpers_suck, ivychan vents about her character getting pregnant.

The arguments over whether or not dice rolls should be used, should DMs warn the player beforehand and similar topics roil on for two pages.

Ivychan's character gets called a slut. Which is kind of funny, because this was the first time the character had sex in the game.

ETA: It's still going on. And [info]saadiira thinks there should be a roll to see who the daddy is.


(Post a new comment)


[info]sitt_isis
2005-04-27 05:08 am UTC (link)
The roll is only fair when applied equally. Unfortunately, under most circumstances, men can't get pregnant. Of course, this IS a fantasy world, so to be fair, if you're always rolling this, and social diseases, and playing out all the consequences, perhaps just once, there should be a chance of the guys getting knocked up for whoring about.

I think something in my brain just snapped....

But seriously (sort of), if they have a contraceptive spell (according to Rann), why not a uterus spell?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]eljuno
2005-04-27 08:59 am UTC (link)
Ever seen that episode of Red Dwarf where Lister gets knocked up by his alternate universe female self?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(Deleted post)
Re: So...is that, like...incest? - [info]eljuno, 2005-04-27 02:37 pm UTC

(Deleted post)
Re: So...is that, like...incest? - dracothelizard, 2005-04-27 06:22 pm UTC

[info]ianthefira
2005-04-27 05:46 am UTC (link)
...Wow. Weird how wank creeps up like that. I read that when it was posted, and thought, "Eh, jerk-GM..."

Still very bitty wank, though. But a certain poster needs a slap to the head.

(Reply to this)


[info]kadath
2005-04-27 06:15 am UTC (link)
Hey, saadiira, what kind of boring-ass dice-fetishizing DM rolls on every possible chart?

Though, the random encounter harlot sub-table from 1st ed is comedy gold.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]__kat__
2005-04-27 07:03 am UTC (link)
that *is* funny. Someone in game made a "bitch, please" comment in a stadium and I think it might have been a "saucy wench" that wandered over.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]kadath, 2005-04-27 04:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]iris, 2005-04-27 06:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kadath, 2005-04-27 06:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pyratejenni, 2005-04-29 01:55 am UTC
Dig out those d10s, everybody!
[info]pyratejenni
2005-04-27 06:25 pm UTC (link)
Hey, comedy gold is why I kept the 1st Ed. DM's Guide!

And speaking of that table -- I got it right here!

01-10 Slovely trull
11-25 Brazen strumpet
26-35 Cheap trollop
36-50 Typical streetwalker
51-65 Saucy tart
66-75 Wanton wench
76-85 Expensive doxy
86-90 Haughty courtesan
91-92 Aged madam
93-94 Wealthy procuress
95-98 Sly pimp
99-00 Rich panderer

Wow. I'm a brazen strumpet!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Dig out those d10s, everybody! - [info]ianthefira, 2005-04-28 04:34 am UTC

ataniell93
2005-04-27 06:50 am UTC (link)
DMs who insist on making pregnancy rolls whenever female charas have sex should also make STD rolls for both sexes, tetanus rolls when people get wounded, food poisoning rolls when people eat their nasty mediaeval food...or shut the fuck up.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]slackerbitch
2005-04-27 12:49 pm UTC (link)
I had a character who was a massive, massive ho in a tabletop D&D game.

All of a sudden one day, the DM announced that from now on, I was going to have to roll for pregnancy every time my character had sex.

I pointed out that:

A - none of the guy characters had to do pregnancy rolls, and since one of the guys was even sluttier than my girl, there should be bastards all over the countryside by now

B - none of the guy characters had any other IC consequences from sex, like STDs, angry fathers/husbands/brothers, jealous girlfriends...

C - my character was a high-level mage and therefore probably knew all kinds of effective birth control methods

D - my character was from a species that, in our game, had very very low fertility rates

E - my character was banging all kinds of creatures that were so genetically different that they couldn't have reproduced together anyway

He said phooey, I was just trying to get out of it, etc., giggled like a 12-yr-old boy, and handed me the dice.

After that, my character stuck to women. (She was bi anyways.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)

(no subject) - [info]cpip, 2005-04-27 06:11 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-04-27 06:53 am UTC (link)
Since I can't post it there, I'll post it here.

In my local D&D game, my character got pregnant. However, she was screwing the dead corpse of her boyfriend. ^^;

Aside from the WTFs, I found it absolutely hillarious that she's now with child after this afair. Though she can't ride a horse anymore and has to be Tensers Floating Disked from point A to point B.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sam_chan, 2005-04-27 07:48 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-04-28 06:16 am UTC

[info]xero_sky
2005-04-27 06:58 am UTC (link)
This is D&D. In D&D there are realistic consequences

Oh, absolutely. It's almost completely devoid of any fantasy elements whatsoever.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

::slaps your icon:: - [info]jedilora, 2005-04-27 01:21 pm UTC
Re: ::slaps your icon:: - (Anonymous), 2005-04-27 10:35 pm UTC
Re: ::slaps your icon:: - [info]jedilora, 2005-04-27 11:08 pm UTC
Re: ::slaps your icon:: - [info]xero_sky, 2005-04-27 11:52 pm UTC

[info]__kat__
2005-04-27 07:02 am UTC (link)
I had a jack-ass GM get my character pregnant, with TWINS. *sigh*

I wouldn't have even done it but we were going into a "lair of unspeakable evil" and all the locals were totally sure that you shouldn't even be in the town and be a virgin.

He had a bad habit of being sick and perverted so I stopped going on his games after the zombie ass-rape. I actually got up and left on that one.

ok, so that wasn't so much of a wank but a rant on jack ass GM's, but I'm done now

(Reply to this)

mouse reporting wank!
(Anonymous)
2005-04-27 07:39 am UTC (link)
"This Movie Reinforces the Lie that Love = Sex" (http://imdb.com/title/tt0332280/board/nest/17759511)

oh man, where do I even begin with this one? I realize it's IMDB, but this is pretty damn entertaining, IMO.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(Deleted post)
Re: Just FYI - [info]sepiamagpie, 2005-04-27 04:07 pm UTC
Thanks!! - (Anonymous), 2005-04-27 06:11 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-04-27 08:12 am UTC (link)
i love fox.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2005-04-27 08:14 am UTC (link)
I'm not pregnant. *pets uterus*

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2005-04-27 08:15 am UTC (link)
Someone please fuck me!

(Reply to this)


[info]batshitinsane
2005-04-27 08:38 am UTC (link)
They should also have dice rolls for wanking too!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ashenmote, 2005-04-27 10:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]batshitinsane, 2005-04-27 10:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ashenmote, 2005-04-27 11:14 am UTC
Does she lose a turn? - [info]batshitinsane, 2005-04-27 11:27 am UTC
Re: Does she lose a turn? - [info]ashenmote, 2005-04-27 02:15 pm UTC
Re: Does she lose a turn? - [info]kadath, 2005-04-27 04:31 pm UTC
Re: Does she lose a turn? - [info]ashenmote, 2005-04-27 04:44 pm UTC

[info]loony666
2005-04-27 08:39 am UTC (link)
Since when can DnD chars get pregnant?

Besides with these rules anyway.

Click that link. It is funny.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ashenmote, 2005-04-27 10:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]iris, 2005-04-27 06:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ashenmote, 2005-04-27 09:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cpip, 2005-04-27 06:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kadath, 2005-04-27 06:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cpip, 2005-04-27 06:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ianthefira, 2005-04-28 04:42 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-04-27 09:50 am UTC (link)
So there's D&D sex and D&D pregnancy, and even D&D abortion...

Is there D&D birthcontrol? It seems like if sex can be part of the game, and consequences etc... a character ought to be able to let their female character use some kind of BC.

Otherwise, I'd be tempted to play a gay character or something, just to mess that up.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]kadath, 2005-04-27 04:10 pm UTC
Gygrax style Birth Control - (Anonymous), 2005-04-27 11:52 pm UTC

[info]adora_spintriae
2005-04-27 12:05 pm UTC (link)
So... what's the D&D roll for an abortion?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]slackerbitch, 2005-04-27 12:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ashenmote, 2005-04-27 01:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-04-27 07:51 pm UTC

[info]chikane
2005-04-27 06:22 pm UTC (link)
Ahahaha. I guess I overdid my arguing there a little. La La La.

:/ *sniff*

Ahem. It was just so tempting...must...resist...


Anyway, Ivychan's character isn't really slutty. Poor girl. :/ But then... SECKS BEFORE MARRIAGE IS TEH EBIL!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]pyratejenni, 2005-04-27 06:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kadath, 2005-04-27 06:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]funwithrage, 2005-04-27 07:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kadath, 2005-04-27 07:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-04-27 07:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2005-04-28 05:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chikane, 2005-04-28 07:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ianthefira, 2005-04-28 04:50 am UTC

[info]sparkle_bitch
2005-04-27 07:23 pm UTC (link)
Um.. .are they calling pregnancy a social diease?

WTF?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]kadath, 2005-04-27 07:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]funwithrage, 2005-04-28 06:35 am UTC

[info]greenling
2005-04-27 08:06 pm UTC (link)
First time, that's fucking stupid.

More than that... one of my friends is such a manwhore that the DM made him roll for a full-body paralyzing STD after about the sixth or seventh bar wench. As a general rule, it can be FUN.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2005-04-28 12:19 am UTC (link)
Wot, no comments about FATAL?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ianthefira, 2005-04-28 04:45 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-04-28 09:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ianthefira, 2005-04-28 05:53 pm UTC

[info]nostalgia
2005-04-28 08:40 am UTC (link)
saadiira's GM exploits are the sort of thing that makes me MOCK THE SHIT out of such people.

(Reply to this)


[info]ecchaniz0r
2005-04-28 05:02 pm UTC (link)
Will someone. Please. For the love of all that is holy. Pry Rann's head out of his goaste-like asscrack!?

*shriek*

Such an annoying little omg-eye-em-so-stereotypically-ghei-lalalalaaaa CHOAD.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]backfromspace, 2005-04-29 09:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2005-05-01 09:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]backfromspace, 2005-05-01 11:19 pm UTC

  
   
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