Jak, Jesus and shit flinging rhesus monkeys!
First wank, so be gentle, pass the towels and all that fun stuff.

Over on the Livejournal Jak community the_precursors, blasphemy_mar makes a post about how she is tired of fans "ranting" in the community about pairings, plot points and changes from game to game.


GET OVER IT! You aren't the writer of the games, you're the consumer! It was their idea to change the ending, after Daxter unintentionally interrupted the kisses Jak and Keira would have had at the end of the previous two games, and that was getting a little old. So...

And also, the game goes really fast because of how long you spend in front of your TV! If you're spending your weekend in front of the screen playing the game then it will go fast! It should be a few missions at a time.


The first two responses are relatively tame until queensimia appears on the scene and proceeds to mock away. It all goes downhill from there with intentional capslock abuse, a new nick for the OP and gratuitious yet amusing picture posts.


So, Peaches--may I call you Peaches?--Peaches, if you're going to get high and mighty regarding your masturbation material of choice, please to be doing it in a manner that doesn't make you look like a shit-flinging rhesus monkey with AIDS. Also, this is hardly the most flameworthy I can get. By all means, continue your impression of an angry five-year-old who didn't get the Barbie dream house she was promised for not telling Mommy about Daddy and his friend Mr. Spanky playing hide-the-salami in the guest room. I look forward to it, but I suspect the rest of the community would prefer not to see it. It's not your opinion that pisses me off, it's the helmet-wearing retarded manner in which you present it. In closing, please learn how to debate before you smear diarrhea all over your face and run out into public.


About half way into the sixty some odd comments to hit the origianl post, witchitar08 joins the fray to defend blasphemy_mar because damnit, it's an opinion, she's allowed to have it and "SHE WARNED YOU ALL!" Most community members continue to be amused, accusations of commenters having no lives fly and one part of the thread branches off into OT-land involving internet babies and lube (all in good fun, natch).

Things quiet down for a short time afterwards, but business as usual is soon interrupted when blasphemy_mar pops back in several posts later to smack the collective community upside the head for disobeying its own rules.


I suggest you guys get a life. I mean, spending your whole day flaming someone because of an opinion… wow, I didn’t know how much mental therapy you guys actually needed!

Thanks so much to Em, my one true friend, for sticking up for me in this. I really appreciated it.

Queensimia… take your bitchy comments and shove them up your ass! I don’t care to read them, and hopefully the respectable people at this site wouldn’t want to either.

Also, to the moderator, if you were half as good as you think you are, you wouldn’t overlook some of the people you have allowed into your community. Also, you should edit your rules because a lot of people aren't abiding by them

Maybe everyone needs to take a good look at the rules; I haven't broken any, but I can say most of you have. Or maybe you're all too busy kissing ass to read at the moment. One can never be sure.


More wank and mockery ensue, continuing for another sixty nine comments (and counting), in which the OP is accused of "flapping their e-penis around" and some complain about the drama eating up room on their flists. Again, witchitar08 drops in to accuse the moderator of being "the biggest fucktard to ever walk the planet" and, as a result, is banninated by purest_chaos. Her efforts appear to have been in vain, however, as one comment before, blasphemy_mar posts to say she taking her ball and going home.

At the moment, the thread appears to be winding down with some members throwing coments back and forth in call caps for their own amusement. I'm personally rather fond of the "dancing Corgi" icon thrown in near the end along with half a dozen other amusing/mocking picture posts.

EDIT: D'oh! Sorry about the "first wank" stuff, folks. That's what I get for posting at 2am. Anyway, carry on. People had fun with that much, so I'm not going to edit it from the post. I'll take my "punishment" as it comes. :)