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NM (![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} narcissam) wrote in ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/community.gif){kind=small} fandom_wank,@ 2005-05-20 12:53:00 |
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Are You Ready To Get Pumped! Ninjas!!!!!!!!
Realultimatepower.net is a page about ninjas. It's also a parody of pathetic fan pages made by teenage boys, and imho a funny one. It begins off Hi, this site is all about ninjas. REAL NINJAS. This site is awesome. and goes downhill from there. Read and enjoy for yourself.
But, as usual, some people don’t get it’s a joke.
The author collects the hate mail here and is it ever precious.
Here's one of many examples before getting to the dramatic bit of this wank.
You must be the stupidest piece of shit on this damn planet. You make a site about 'REAL NINJAS' because they are 'TOTALLY SWEET' when in fact you dont know bullshit about them, you make this shit up off of the top of your deformed head, and you even tell ppl damn screwed up lies. you call this shit factual? damnit you probably have no fuckin idea what a shuriken is. ninjas don't flip out. they dont play guitars. they dont use crap like lasers. you have no idea what a pirate is. go look it up in a fuckin book, i mean a REAL book. how the hell can you publish this sort of shit? ninjas CANT FLY. they CANT USE MAGIC. they dont kill whoever they want. they are really peasants trained to use stealth and to kill, using REAL weapons, such as shurikens, darts, etc. their targets were NOT pirates, they were usually important political or military figures, often they killed high ranking samurai and the like. go learn something REAL about REAL NINJAS, then you can publish that.
i hope you publish this on your damn site, and make as many comments as you can fuckin come up with. other ppl also know you are messed up. i'm not alone.
So most of these emails go along those lines, till a Real Ninja shows up and lays down the Ninja Death Threat.
DEAR ROBERT (OR WHOM EVER)
I HOPE YOU REALIZE THAT THE INFORMATION YOU HAVE POSTED ON YOUR SIGHT IS NOT ONLY COMPLETELY WRONG BUT ALSO VERY MISLEADING AND DANGEROUS. YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE NO FACTUAL KNOWLEDGE OF NINJA,NINPO OR NINJUTSU BUT CLAIM TO BE AN AUTHORITY ON THE SUBJECT. GOD FORBID SOMEONE ACTUALLY TAKES YOUR GARBAGE TO HEART AND TRIES THIS INSANITY....YOUR GOING TO GET SOEM POOR KID KILLED....ARE YOU READY TO ACCEPT THAT RESPONSIBILITY. AS FOR ME....IM A NINJUTSU SOKE...GRANDMASTER....IN A LEGITAMATE NINJA RYU (FAMILY) WITH 25 YEARS UNDER MY BELT IN AN HISTORICALY TRACEABLE LINEAGE. I STONGLY URGE THAT YOU DO THE FOLLOWING....
>1:PLACE AN APOLOGY ON THE SIGHT WITHIN 48 HRS OF RECIEPT OF MY EMAIL TO ALL NINPO STUDENTS AND TEACHERS.
>2:PLACE A NOTE ON THE BEGINING OF YOUR SIGHT TELLING EVERYONE THAT GOES TO YOUR SIGHT THAT YOU ARE FULL OF BS.HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE ART AND TO NOT TAKE THE SIGHT SERIOUSLY
>3: REMOVE THE SIGHT BEFOR SEPT 15 2002. SHOULD YOU NOT REMOVE THE SIGHT BY THAT DATE THEN I WILL FIRST LOBBY AOL TO HAVE THE SIGHT REMOVED. IF THAT DOES NOT WORK I WILL PAY YOU A VISIT TO TEACH YOU WHAT REAL SHINOBI IS CAPABLE OF DOING....AND BELIEVE ME...I CAN AND WILL VISIT YOU. YOUR SIGHT IS DANGEROUS AND OFFENSIVE...ESPECIALLY TO SOMEONE LIKE ME WHO HAS DEDICATED HIS LIFE TO THIS ART AND HAS INHERITED THE SYSTEM AND KNOWS THE DANGERS AND VALIDITY OF NINJUTSU. I EXPECT AN EMAIL IN RETURN TO CONFIRM YOUR RECIEPT OF THIS EMAIL.....GOD HELP YOU IF YOU DONT RESPOND.
SOKE D. FUJITA
BUFUKAN NINPO BUJUTSU HOMBU DOJO
Evidence for the Irate Ninja's safety concerns soon appears. From a hardworking single mother, whose children are being destroyed by the site. Or sight.
Dear Mr. Hamburger.
I am a single mother. A single mother of three boys! And it's tough enough to keep them from acting up without people like you in the world. You are a disgrace to the whites, if you're white. My second born son has been, as you call it, "flipping out" recently and he started doing so around the same time the boys discovered your site. And surprise surprise, my son seriously harmed his brother AND now his behavior is affecting his schoolwork. Are you going to tutor him, jerk? I'm a single mother! His rambunctious attitude is going to get him put in jail or even juvenile hall. You are encouraging kids to go berserk and disregard rules. I demand that you take down this immediately, before I call the police. Trust me, mr. hamburger, this is one single mother of three boys you do not want to mess with. I will lobby to have your site banned for the rest of your life. I'll see you in court. Write me back and we'll talk some more.
yours,
a single mother of three boys you do not want to mess with
Single mother may be content to call in the internet lawyers, but Mr. Ninja is not. He reads single mother's complaint and decides it's time to specify his earlier death threat.
SOKE D. FUJITA Part 2
Dear Robert,
september 15th rapidly moves in upon us like a thunder cloud ready to explode in an intense rain of fury. as i stated in my previous letter, i asked if you were ready to accept the responsibility of the damage and injury that your mis information will cause others. i see that you have recieved a letter from a concerned mother of three stateing that your web site has caused her son to fail in school as well as injure one of her other children. is it simply that you are waiting for some one to die as a result of the garbage that you propogate on your site? you only have a few days left to send out a letter to me via email that will be distributed to all real ninja that you have insulted as well as post a disclaimer on your site disavowing what you claim to teach....then take the site down and replace it with a letter stateing that anyone whao has taken you seriously should not and that they should not follow your ill example. dont force me to take further action upon you the least of which is to petition aol to tear down your site....the worst of which would be a personal visit from myself and my students at your so called dojo to remedy your ill behavior. little boy, i am the real deal, and i take offense at your immature lies and the example your set for others. i guarantee that my 25 years in ninjutsu as well as my title of ninja,iemoto and sokeship over various japanese ryu ha related to the ninja will be quite adiquate to put you in you place. fell free to email me back....and anyone who reads this can email me at @@@@@@ with your concerns and together we can fight to have this little boy banned from the web. robert, i hope...no i dare you to post this entire letter on your site so that others can access my email address.
wrathfully,
david d. fujita, soke (grandmaster)
bufukan ninpo bujutsu dojo network
Meanwhile the requisite homophobia surfaces in this delightful flame:
have you ever even seen a real hippo? are you fjucking stupid? don't you know that hippos don't drink pop or "hang" out with ninja. what does "hang out" mean you freak. i bet it has something to do with animal sexuality, you little gay. only a gay would think that hippos fight people with friends. hippos are animals that don't talk, you moron. why would you ever make a story full of lies. are you trying to confuse people. you are right that they live in the forest, but THAT'S ALL.
when you realize how fucking stupid you are, you are going to feel reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaal stupid,
your anti-fan,
Terral
Another martial arts devotee, possibly not a member of a sacred ninja clan, though, comes out of the woodwork to threaten Mr. Hamburger for destroying children's lives.
Let me make one thing perfectly clear, kid. Get a clue. If you truly believe that being good at video games based on the art of Ninjitsu and/or martial arts makes you an expert, I really pity you. If this is all a joke, then I suggest.........no, I INSIST you post the disclaimers that Mr. Fujita directs, or take the site down yourself. No, I won't come after you in person, I have other ways of taking care of kidiots like yourself. But I am not threatening you. Listen to adults kid.They have been around alot longer than you.Lots of them were into this when they were kids.(it's not a new thing). The information here is so out of the realm of reality that I cannot fathom that you ACTUALLY believe this shit. I will operate on the assumption that this is a joke....and a poor one at that. Just the e-mail from the single mother tells me all I need to know about how kids respond to the shit you are spouting. There is enough of it for them to see without this little, hair-brained, full of yourself, bunch of bull shit on this site. How you would YOU like it if somebody were to tell lies about you? I'm not saying that I will, but still.
I use the matial arts, (no, not Ninjitsu...I have none of the patience and dedication) in conjuction with Midieval sword skills, so I have a working knowledge of what it takes to become proficient in ANY form of the martial arts, even the complicated ones. There is a reason why it called and ART. Figure that part out....oh, wait....sorry....you do not have the grey matter (brain) for that.
Bottom line is this. I do not wish you harm, but you might wake up injured one day. I simply want this full of shit site down or the disclaimers posted. You are insulting the intelligence and the honor of a lot of people with this. I daresay you will bring down some really bad things upon yourself if you don't. That is not a threat, but your life soon won't be good. A simple promise from one who KNOWS what Mr. Fujita is telling you. I don't really give a rat's ass about the individuals that posted their little rants in your hate mail....with 2 exceptions.
Mr. Fujita and the Mother and her boys.
HE means what she says and she says what he means. SHE deserves NONE of the problems that her son is giving her, obviously caused by reading and taking to heart the bullshit he got from your site.
Do the right thing, or you will hear from me again. (Not a threat, again.)
The next time, it will not be so pleasant (physically).........trust me.
MD
'Robert Hamburger' then pleases his enemies by posting fake stories about being sued.
Then we get the guy who knows the site is a joke, but realizes that it is a weapon of our enemies the Arabs in their War on the Western World.
hate you and I’m going to tell you about it. First off, I don’t know if you heard, but we are in a state of emergency. Terrorists try to attack the United States whenever they want. And that’s almost everyday. We have Arabs telling lies everyday about how we try to control their countries or how we killed their families, which is a lie. Middle-Easterns just hate us because of our freedom. They hate our freedom and they want to stop us from being free so that’s why they try to kill us everday. And that freedom is what allows you to say all those stupid lies about ninjas. You lie like those arab sites. I hate you. President Bush said that there should be limits on freedom and he’s right. Your site has no value and should be shut down immediately because of its blatant lies. You don’t even know the danger that’s outside the country. So why should anyone listen to you about anything. You are so stupid. Before September 11, I might have thought your site was funny. But now, I think it could confuse people, AMERICAN PEOPLE, and I hate it. People SHOULD NOT act the way you do anymore. People should research about what they’re talking about. Not say a bunch of things they know nothing about. I doubt you will ever understand that. You’re lucky that you live in America , where no one is going to really kill you because of your obnoixioucity. You are safe because of people like me who will vote for a strong president. I don’t care about the economy or my rights as long as my kids and the people of America are safe and strong. Too bad I can’t vote to get rid of your site, because, you know what, I would.
a concerned parent
And another kid gets severely injured.
dearr. mister (i set a poor example to todays youth)
Hey you little fat punk im 14 years old, and my 5 year old brother just viewed your pitty excuse for a website and do you know what he did? He took a broomstick and with all his might whacked our 2 month old sister in the head. She is now in the hospital with a concussion. I hope your happy cause if I ever find you I would seriously kick the crap out of you, I hope you post this in your hatemail section so other people can see what damage you are doing to society. One day your going to get the shit beat out of you and when that day comes I hope you post it on ur website so everyone can laugh at you and say you deserved it. Because you are nothing.
P.S when asked why he did it my brother said because i wanted to be a ninja and they flip out and hurt people and gave us the address to your site.
So, there you have, it folks. And, btw, don't try any of the moves you see on the website on your relatives.
NM
Realultimatepower.net is a page about ninjas. It's also a parody of pathetic fan pages made by teenage boys, and imho a funny one. It begins off Hi, this site is all about ninjas. REAL NINJAS. This site is awesome. and goes downhill from there. Read and enjoy for yourself.
But, as usual, some people don’t get it’s a joke.
The author collects the hate mail here and is it ever precious.
Here's one of many examples before getting to the dramatic bit of this wank.
You must be the stupidest piece of shit on this damn planet. You make a site about 'REAL NINJAS' because they are 'TOTALLY SWEET' when in fact you dont know bullshit about them, you make this shit up off of the top of your deformed head, and you even tell ppl damn screwed up lies. you call this shit factual? damnit you probably have no fuckin idea what a shuriken is. ninjas don't flip out. they dont play guitars. they dont use crap like lasers. you have no idea what a pirate is. go look it up in a fuckin book, i mean a REAL book. how the hell can you publish this sort of shit? ninjas CANT FLY. they CANT USE MAGIC. they dont kill whoever they want. they are really peasants trained to use stealth and to kill, using REAL weapons, such as shurikens, darts, etc. their targets were NOT pirates, they were usually important political or military figures, often they killed high ranking samurai and the like. go learn something REAL about REAL NINJAS, then you can publish that.
i hope you publish this on your damn site, and make as many comments as you can fuckin come up with. other ppl also know you are messed up. i'm not alone.
So most of these emails go along those lines, till a Real Ninja shows up and lays down the Ninja Death Threat.
DEAR ROBERT (OR WHOM EVER)
I HOPE YOU REALIZE THAT THE INFORMATION YOU HAVE POSTED ON YOUR SIGHT IS NOT ONLY COMPLETELY WRONG BUT ALSO VERY MISLEADING AND DANGEROUS. YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE NO FACTUAL KNOWLEDGE OF NINJA,NINPO OR NINJUTSU BUT CLAIM TO BE AN AUTHORITY ON THE SUBJECT. GOD FORBID SOMEONE ACTUALLY TAKES YOUR GARBAGE TO HEART AND TRIES THIS INSANITY....YOUR GOING TO GET SOEM POOR KID KILLED....ARE YOU READY TO ACCEPT THAT RESPONSIBILITY. AS FOR ME....IM A NINJUTSU SOKE...GRANDMASTER....IN A LEGITAMATE NINJA RYU (FAMILY) WITH 25 YEARS UNDER MY BELT IN AN HISTORICALY TRACEABLE LINEAGE. I STONGLY URGE THAT YOU DO THE FOLLOWING....
>1:PLACE AN APOLOGY ON THE SIGHT WITHIN 48 HRS OF RECIEPT OF MY EMAIL TO ALL NINPO STUDENTS AND TEACHERS.
>2:PLACE A NOTE ON THE BEGINING OF YOUR SIGHT TELLING EVERYONE THAT GOES TO YOUR SIGHT THAT YOU ARE FULL OF BS.HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE ART AND TO NOT TAKE THE SIGHT SERIOUSLY
>3: REMOVE THE SIGHT BEFOR SEPT 15 2002. SHOULD YOU NOT REMOVE THE SIGHT BY THAT DATE THEN I WILL FIRST LOBBY AOL TO HAVE THE SIGHT REMOVED. IF THAT DOES NOT WORK I WILL PAY YOU A VISIT TO TEACH YOU WHAT REAL SHINOBI IS CAPABLE OF DOING....AND BELIEVE ME...I CAN AND WILL VISIT YOU. YOUR SIGHT IS DANGEROUS AND OFFENSIVE...ESPECIALLY TO SOMEONE LIKE ME WHO HAS DEDICATED HIS LIFE TO THIS ART AND HAS INHERITED THE SYSTEM AND KNOWS THE DANGERS AND VALIDITY OF NINJUTSU. I EXPECT AN EMAIL IN RETURN TO CONFIRM YOUR RECIEPT OF THIS EMAIL.....GOD HELP YOU IF YOU DONT RESPOND.
SOKE D. FUJITA
BUFUKAN NINPO BUJUTSU HOMBU DOJO
Evidence for the Irate Ninja's safety concerns soon appears. From a hardworking single mother, whose children are being destroyed by the site. Or sight.
Dear Mr. Hamburger.
I am a single mother. A single mother of three boys! And it's tough enough to keep them from acting up without people like you in the world. You are a disgrace to the whites, if you're white. My second born son has been, as you call it, "flipping out" recently and he started doing so around the same time the boys discovered your site. And surprise surprise, my son seriously harmed his brother AND now his behavior is affecting his schoolwork. Are you going to tutor him, jerk? I'm a single mother! His rambunctious attitude is going to get him put in jail or even juvenile hall. You are encouraging kids to go berserk and disregard rules. I demand that you take down this immediately, before I call the police. Trust me, mr. hamburger, this is one single mother of three boys you do not want to mess with. I will lobby to have your site banned for the rest of your life. I'll see you in court. Write me back and we'll talk some more.
yours,
a single mother of three boys you do not want to mess with
Single mother may be content to call in the internet lawyers, but Mr. Ninja is not. He reads single mother's complaint and decides it's time to specify his earlier death threat.
SOKE D. FUJITA Part 2
Dear Robert,
september 15th rapidly moves in upon us like a thunder cloud ready to explode in an intense rain of fury. as i stated in my previous letter, i asked if you were ready to accept the responsibility of the damage and injury that your mis information will cause others. i see that you have recieved a letter from a concerned mother of three stateing that your web site has caused her son to fail in school as well as injure one of her other children. is it simply that you are waiting for some one to die as a result of the garbage that you propogate on your site? you only have a few days left to send out a letter to me via email that will be distributed to all real ninja that you have insulted as well as post a disclaimer on your site disavowing what you claim to teach....then take the site down and replace it with a letter stateing that anyone whao has taken you seriously should not and that they should not follow your ill example. dont force me to take further action upon you the least of which is to petition aol to tear down your site....the worst of which would be a personal visit from myself and my students at your so called dojo to remedy your ill behavior. little boy, i am the real deal, and i take offense at your immature lies and the example your set for others. i guarantee that my 25 years in ninjutsu as well as my title of ninja,iemoto and sokeship over various japanese ryu ha related to the ninja will be quite adiquate to put you in you place. fell free to email me back....and anyone who reads this can email me at @@@@@@ with your concerns and together we can fight to have this little boy banned from the web. robert, i hope...no i dare you to post this entire letter on your site so that others can access my email address.
wrathfully,
david d. fujita, soke (grandmaster)
bufukan ninpo bujutsu dojo network
Meanwhile the requisite homophobia surfaces in this delightful flame:
have you ever even seen a real hippo? are you fjucking stupid? don't you know that hippos don't drink pop or "hang" out with ninja. what does "hang out" mean you freak. i bet it has something to do with animal sexuality, you little gay. only a gay would think that hippos fight people with friends. hippos are animals that don't talk, you moron. why would you ever make a story full of lies. are you trying to confuse people. you are right that they live in the forest, but THAT'S ALL.
when you realize how fucking stupid you are, you are going to feel reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaal stupid,
your anti-fan,
Terral
Another martial arts devotee, possibly not a member of a sacred ninja clan, though, comes out of the woodwork to threaten Mr. Hamburger for destroying children's lives.
Let me make one thing perfectly clear, kid. Get a clue. If you truly believe that being good at video games based on the art of Ninjitsu and/or martial arts makes you an expert, I really pity you. If this is all a joke, then I suggest.........no, I INSIST you post the disclaimers that Mr. Fujita directs, or take the site down yourself. No, I won't come after you in person, I have other ways of taking care of kidiots like yourself. But I am not threatening you. Listen to adults kid.They have been around alot longer than you.Lots of them were into this when they were kids.(it's not a new thing). The information here is so out of the realm of reality that I cannot fathom that you ACTUALLY believe this shit. I will operate on the assumption that this is a joke....and a poor one at that. Just the e-mail from the single mother tells me all I need to know about how kids respond to the shit you are spouting. There is enough of it for them to see without this little, hair-brained, full of yourself, bunch of bull shit on this site. How you would YOU like it if somebody were to tell lies about you? I'm not saying that I will, but still.
I use the matial arts, (no, not Ninjitsu...I have none of the patience and dedication) in conjuction with Midieval sword skills, so I have a working knowledge of what it takes to become proficient in ANY form of the martial arts, even the complicated ones. There is a reason why it called and ART. Figure that part out....oh, wait....sorry....you do not have the grey matter (brain) for that.
Bottom line is this. I do not wish you harm, but you might wake up injured one day. I simply want this full of shit site down or the disclaimers posted. You are insulting the intelligence and the honor of a lot of people with this. I daresay you will bring down some really bad things upon yourself if you don't. That is not a threat, but your life soon won't be good. A simple promise from one who KNOWS what Mr. Fujita is telling you. I don't really give a rat's ass about the individuals that posted their little rants in your hate mail....with 2 exceptions.
Mr. Fujita and the Mother and her boys.
HE means what she says and she says what he means. SHE deserves NONE of the problems that her son is giving her, obviously caused by reading and taking to heart the bullshit he got from your site.
Do the right thing, or you will hear from me again. (Not a threat, again.)
The next time, it will not be so pleasant (physically).........trust me.
MD
'Robert Hamburger' then pleases his enemies by posting fake stories about being sued.
Then we get the guy who knows the site is a joke, but realizes that it is a weapon of our enemies the Arabs in their War on the Western World.
hate you and I’m going to tell you about it. First off, I don’t know if you heard, but we are in a state of emergency. Terrorists try to attack the United States whenever they want. And that’s almost everyday. We have Arabs telling lies everyday about how we try to control their countries or how we killed their families, which is a lie. Middle-Easterns just hate us because of our freedom. They hate our freedom and they want to stop us from being free so that’s why they try to kill us everday. And that freedom is what allows you to say all those stupid lies about ninjas. You lie like those arab sites. I hate you. President Bush said that there should be limits on freedom and he’s right. Your site has no value and should be shut down immediately because of its blatant lies. You don’t even know the danger that’s outside the country. So why should anyone listen to you about anything. You are so stupid. Before September 11, I might have thought your site was funny. But now, I think it could confuse people, AMERICAN PEOPLE, and I hate it. People SHOULD NOT act the way you do anymore. People should research about what they’re talking about. Not say a bunch of things they know nothing about. I doubt you will ever understand that. You’re lucky that you live in America , where no one is going to really kill you because of your obnoixioucity. You are safe because of people like me who will vote for a strong president. I don’t care about the economy or my rights as long as my kids and the people of America are safe and strong. Too bad I can’t vote to get rid of your site, because, you know what, I would.
a concerned parent
And another kid gets severely injured.
dearr. mister (i set a poor example to todays youth)
Hey you little fat punk im 14 years old, and my 5 year old brother just viewed your pitty excuse for a website and do you know what he did? He took a broomstick and with all his might whacked our 2 month old sister in the head. She is now in the hospital with a concussion. I hope your happy cause if I ever find you I would seriously kick the crap out of you, I hope you post this in your hatemail section so other people can see what damage you are doing to society. One day your going to get the shit beat out of you and when that day comes I hope you post it on ur website so everyone can laugh at you and say you deserved it. Because you are nothing.
P.S when asked why he did it my brother said because i wanted to be a ninja and they flip out and hurt people and gave us the address to your site.
So, there you have, it folks. And, btw, don't try any of the moves you see on the website on your relatives.
NM
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