A very special tl;dr LOTRips wank
oselle, an Elijah Wood fan writes "close to 5,000 words" on her feelings about the pint-sized B-star.

"We are drawn to Elijah because he is so beautiful, and he is beautiful because he is whole, as we should be, as we might someday be again. He is like the sun, or the full moon, whole and radiant and perfect. Ah, how he shines."

The comment responses to this post are wholly supportive

I hope he never understands fully just how powerful he is, as a man and as a legend, I hope he never loses his innocence, and I ain't talkin' about virginity here. I'm talking about his inner light. May it shine forever.

however, there is much behind-the-scenes mumbling in locked posts and after the first slightly negative comment is brushed off esorlehcar decides to air her views.

Making a celebrity into a god isn't something I'll ever understand, but if it was making you happy, I'd say more power to you. You mention the tinhats, who, whatever else we may think of them, are deliriously happy with their little gay teddy bears and talk constantly about how knowing about them has enriched their lives. But in your case, your deification of Elijah seems to be making you miserable. You've set him on so high a pedestal that nothing else in the world can come close, and this has convinced you that the world is a terrible, terrible place. And that seems extraordinarily harmful to me. [*]

The two argue back and forth ending with esorlehcar giving up and ranting in her LJ instead.

I'm simultaneously so sorry for this woman I could cry and fairly freaked out that deification on this huge a scale is being not only condoned but actually lauded. Fandom is an odd, odd, odd thing. [*]

Various commenters express their support of esorlehcar but it's not long before oselle pops up to comment in what must surely be an ironical fashion.

the fact that you would have enjoyed such a thing shows where your head was really at when you started commenting to my post. If you're going to wank someone, then at least be straightforward about it, for Christ's sake. Don't try to disguise it as heartfelt concern. That's just...creepy.[*]

esorlehcar reveals she is posting under the influence of drugs whilst oselle manages to misunderstand the word "wank" and accuse esorlehcar of being a damn dirty rebulican.

you even included some handy hot-button "talking points" like "scary" and "violent." Boy, with skills like those you should be working for Fox News. [*]

Semantics are dabbled with and it just gets better as two more of oselle's friends come to defend her honour.

Unfortunately (and hilariously!) they manage to apparently only skim the comments as baylorsr first accuses esorlehcar of something she refuted in her first comment and then of something which a completely different person said.

As I already told oselle when she made the same claim, I was explaining a flip comment I made, not suggesting I thought she is "headed towards violence," which I actually end the comment by saying. And I didn't compare to her John Hinckley. darkrosetiger, who made the comment you're referring to, didn't actually compare her to John Hinkley, either.

In a further fit of irony, oselle writes a not-so nonspecific post extolling the virtues of humanity which stands to slight contrast with her repeated assertations that they were all "assholes" who were as broken, horrible, and utterly miserable as the world itself.