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Cake or Death? ([info]tempslut) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2003-06-14 19:04:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:*sporfle!*

"Ya gotta have the ring!"
If you thought you had every LJ community pegged down, well...wrong, my friend.

I should be offended, but it's just too goddamned funny. I'd rather snark over it. So snark I shall!

First, the info:


"—» THE RULES—
You must be a GIRL. That's right, no penises allowed. Sorry boys! ::sniff:: We still love you all. If we didn't, would we make a community focused on YOU? I didn't think so."

Come on! There's gotta be some gay men, transgendered, and intersexed people out there who hold antiquated notions regarding dating. Right? [pauses] RIGHT?

And...

"Commenting advice w/o being a moderator will get you banned! You have to know psychology, have read books, basicly..."

But apparently, you don't have to know how to spell. Becuz spelng wil tern u nto n oled maed, beeyotch. (If you can decode that, you win your very own imaginary F_W figurine! Collect them all!)

And once you actually get to the community, you get to read posts just like this one. I'd summarize it, but I don't think I could make it sound snarkier than it already is.

Let the mocking begin...er...continue!

(Post a new comment)


[info]zannechaos
2003-06-15 03:20 am UTC (link)
My head hurts.

(Reply to this)


[info]carolinecrane
2003-06-15 03:28 am UTC (link)
There's an age limit on that community, right? Like no one over the age of 12 is allowed to join? I'd go look, but I already feel dirty from reading this:

Be cool and remember the big reason he liked you is cuz you never pursed him and were a CHALLENGE!

Pursed him? Is there a moron-to-English dictionary around?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]parlance
2003-06-15 05:00 am UTC (link)
Well, let's be fair. I'd like someone if he never pursed me either.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]azusa
2003-06-15 05:41 am UTC (link)
All I can figure is that it perhaps involves smacking upside the head with a purse filled with bricks.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]darthtall, 2003-06-16 01:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]yadda, 2003-06-17 05:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]darthtall, 2003-06-17 08:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]amasaglajax, 2003-06-20 04:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]yadda, 2003-06-20 06:22 am UTC

(Reply from suspended user)

[info]mauralabingi
2003-06-15 04:04 am UTC (link)
What is the joke behind that "now he dead from coke" thing? I see it all over the place, but I'm old and "square" and not "down with the kids today"...

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]tempslut
2003-06-15 04:18 am UTC (link)
Here ya go!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]zannechaos, 2003-06-15 05:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]littlekitsch, 2003-06-15 05:27 pm UTC

[info]pepperpot
2003-06-15 04:12 am UTC (link)
*clutches F_W figurine and weeps tears of pure, unadulterated joy*

Er, should I be proud or not?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]tempslut
2003-06-15 04:16 am UTC (link)
You should be proud you didn't purse him, 'cause otherwise, he woulda thought you were a dirty, dirty ho, and thus unworthy of his ring!*

His cock ring, of course.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


e_slash
2003-06-15 04:51 am UTC (link)
You must be a GIRL.

...and I laughed and laughed and laughed.

In cyberspace, anyone can be a girl.

Or don't they realize that?

(Reply to this)


[info]virago
2003-06-15 05:35 am UTC (link)
Okay, so they're majoring in psychology, and... apparently... haven't listened to a damn word they've been told about anything.

I don't want to think about these ninnies being in a position to influence people and getting paid for it. Just don't want to think about it.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]azusa, 2003-06-15 05:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bohicamouse, 2003-06-15 06:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tempslut, 2003-06-15 08:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]loeb_n_leopold, 2003-06-15 08:32 am UTC
Totally OT here, but... - [info]zannechaos, 2003-06-15 09:04 am UTC
Re: Totally OT here, but... - [info]rhi_silverflame, 2003-06-16 09:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]azusa, 2003-06-15 10:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lexin, 2003-06-15 04:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nekoneko, 2003-06-15 04:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bohicamouse, 2003-06-16 01:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nekoneko, 2003-06-16 04:11 am UTC

[info]dexwebster
2003-06-15 05:38 am UTC (link)
This is based on that asinine dating advice book, isn't it?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]kerikeri, 2003-06-15 08:33 am UTC

[info]arabel
2003-06-15 05:44 am UTC (link)
I don't think there are words for how entirely stupid and offensive I find this.

Smile, be happy, and attract those great guys that you'll want to be OFFICIAL with!

Eh?

If people ask you about him or how you're doing....just say FINE and that you don't talk to him anymore. Be cool and calm. If you "act-like" it doesn't matter, you WILL start to believe it! It took me a horrible 2 months of saying it was ok...before I BELIEVED it was. Now I'm great. I promise you I never thought I would be.

Oh yes, because denying your problems and hiding them away is the BEST way to deal with deep emotional pain! *giggles and twists hair around her finger while staring vacantly into space*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]pepperpot, 2003-06-15 06:05 am UTC
(no subject) - allen, 2003-06-15 06:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2003-06-15 06:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]arabel, 2003-06-15 07:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tempslut, 2003-06-15 06:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]virago, 2003-06-15 07:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]azusa, 2003-06-15 10:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]azusa, 2003-06-15 10:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kannaophelia, 2003-06-15 03:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]virago, 2003-06-15 03:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gelasius, 2003-06-16 02:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hugsnkisses, 2003-06-15 10:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tinfoil_portia, 2003-06-15 02:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - wizzard, 2003-06-15 05:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]guinevere33, 2003-06-15 10:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]village, 2003-06-15 11:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kallisti, 2003-06-16 12:53 am UTC

[info]hoorofcrowley
2003-06-15 05:48 am UTC (link)
If he likes you:
*he always happens to be around you. He's always in the area and stops by. Like to watch a certain show at YOUR house. If you work together, he's always by your desk or goes out of his way to pass by. If you're in college he's always by your dorm room. BOTTOM LINE:: when a man is attracted to you he's always finds ways...excuses...to be near you. ::hint whoever's near you likes you!!! He's always hanging around and you can't get rid of him.

So do I let my stalker impregnante me now? Because this totally means that he just loves me and no one else could treat me better. Right? Right? *opens window to let him in*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]hoorofcrowley, 2003-06-15 05:49 am UTC

[info]jfpbookworm
2003-06-15 07:01 am UTC (link)
Sorry, I couldn't get past the group's epilepsy-inducing inverted-pentagram icon.

(Reply to this)


[info]dawnswalker
2003-06-15 08:06 am UTC (link)
This community reminds me disturbingly of the "advice" columns in those girly teen magazines like "YM", "Seventeen" (which most of us grow out of by the time we actually ARE seventeen), "Tiger Beat", and so on.

Garbage In, Garbage Out.

(Reply to this)


[info]kerikeri
2003-06-15 08:15 am UTC (link)
I've learned so much from this beautiful community...

well, this will sound stupid but.. is irene attractive? if she is, you have more reason to be concerned.

Lesson #1: It's fine for your boyfriend to have close female friends, but if, and only if, they are ugly.


steer clear of the 33 year old. im sure i didn't have to tell you, but i just wanted to reinforce that. what could a 33 year old man possibly want with an 18 year old girl other than the obvious?

...yann, although much older, might be good for you.

Lesson #2: 28-year-olds who are interested in dating 18-year-olds are fine, but 33-year-olds who do the same are horrible predatory perverts. (so where exactly is the line drawn?)


1. Don't call him and when HE calls never speak more than 15mins cuz you're busy. Etc...

More importantly STOP acting like he's your friend. If you want to go down this road...he WON'T be your friend anymore...anyhows. So don't let him crash at your house, help him with his gf problems...etc.

Lesson #3: Okay, so... if a guy has feelings for you, and you're friends with him, and you suddenly start treating him like you don't care about him and he's totally unimportant, he will... become even more interested? Go insane with the desire for monogamy and start throwing engagement rings at you? So what you're saying basically is that all men are masochists and get off on being treated like they don't matter?

Wow. I don't know how I ever managed to find myself a boyfriend before I read the wonderful advice on this community. Consider me enlightened.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2003-06-15 10:49 am UTC
OT, but... - [info]shiun, 2003-06-15 01:09 pm UTC
Re: OT, but... - [info]kerikeri, 2003-06-15 08:23 pm UTC
Re: OT, but... - [info]shiun, 2003-06-15 08:48 pm UTC
Re: OT, but... - [info]jfpbookworm, 2003-06-15 10:27 pm UTC
Re: OT, but... - [info]shiun, 2003-06-15 10:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aruru, 2003-06-15 01:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kerikeri, 2003-06-15 11:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]azusa, 2003-06-16 09:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aruru, 2003-06-16 05:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fearthainn, 2003-06-15 05:53 pm UTC

[info]chash
2003-06-15 09:00 am UTC (link)
So wait... if someone's NOT interested in me, they never will be? But if they stalk me, I should begin completely hating them, because that will help their feelings along? The vibe I'm getting is that regardless of my actions, anyone who likes me will always like me and anyone who doesn't never, ever will. Wow! This world is so much simpler than the one I've been living in. Where do I sign up?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]cmikhailovic, 2003-06-15 09:38 am UTC
Re: - [info]chash, 2003-06-15 03:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aruru, 2003-06-16 06:02 pm UTC
Re: - [info]chash, 2003-06-16 10:43 pm UTC

[info]hugsnkisses
2003-06-15 10:30 am UTC (link)
If he likes you as a friend there is NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!!!! SORRY!

Isn't that (leik) in direct violation of this Iron Clan Rule: Don't be negative; it's depressing. We realize you're going through a tough time, but don't post and say "It's hopeless. This is the end." or anything along those lines.

Their logic is not like our earth logic.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]chash, 2003-06-15 08:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]iczer6, 2003-06-16 06:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kerikeri, 2003-06-16 07:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]iczer6, 2003-06-16 08:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]virago, 2003-06-16 06:50 pm UTC

[info]split
2003-06-15 10:34 am UTC (link)
@_@

If that's how teen girls get their guys nowadays, I shudder to think about how our gene is going to be 20 years from now.

Let's hope they're in the minority. ._.

(Reply to this)


[info]guinevere33
2003-06-15 10:54 am UTC (link)
The mod's "advice":
When a male friend is interested in you:
He'll think whoever you're dating isn't good enough for you. May even put him down.

When a male friend is NOT interested in you:
If you and your bf are having problems...he'll try to help you WORK IT OUT...not get you out of the relationship. He's not angry to see you with other guys. He wants you to be happy.

The lesson here:
Clearly, a man who truly cared for you would NOT want you to be happy...he would want you to be with HIM above all else, to the point of deliberately sabotaging your current relationship.

...

Gah! Last time I checked, it was a measure of true commitment if a guy is willing to shelve his own feelings out of respect for yours.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]soleta, 2003-06-15 03:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chash, 2003-06-15 08:36 pm UTC

[info]ingrid
2003-06-15 06:35 pm UTC (link)
From the mod's area of "expertise":

... and personnel psychology.

I didn't know 12 year olds in a dating group were that concerned about employees mental health, but it just adds yet another dimension to this Very Pink Palace of Bad Advice, no?

(Reply to this)


[info]greensage
2003-06-16 05:18 am UTC (link)
Agh! I can't believe there are people out there who actually READ that book ("The Rules") and take it seriously. I had the misfortune of taking a psych class as an undergrad for which it was required reading. At first, I thought it was meant to be an example of REALLY BAD "psychology," but THEN my prof started lecturing about it as The Way Most Women Think.

...?!...

And to top it all off, she even invited the *authors* of "The Rules" to come in as guest lecturers. Of course, she made the mistake of also inviting the two guys who wrote a spoof of "The Rules" for men, as well, clearly expecting the women to trounce their counterparts in a debate. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen. Somebody ought to turn those guys loose on that LJ community - perhaps it will be shut down as quickly as the original "Rules" authors were.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]tempslut, 2003-06-16 05:44 am UTC
The Rules for Online Dating - [info]tempslut, 2003-06-16 05:56 am UTC
Re: The Rules for Online Dating - [info]kerikeri, 2003-06-16 07:43 am UTC
Re: The Rules for Online Dating- It gets better - [info]hakainokami, 2003-06-16 08:16 am UTC
Re: The Rules for Online Dating - [info]tempslut, 2003-06-16 09:01 am UTC
Re: The Rules for Online Dating - [info]jfpbookworm, 2003-06-16 08:26 am UTC
Re: The Rules for Online Dating - [info]dax_069, 2003-06-17 05:43 am UTC

[info]thelame
2003-06-21 11:17 am UTC (link)
I HAD TO KILL MYSELF INSTEAD OF LIVING MY LIFE WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THIS COMMUNITY EVEN EXISTS.

Reading some of "the rules" is like being stabbed repeatedly in the eye with a butterknife. A butterknife wielded by my dead grandmother. Who is also being stabbed. By her dead grandmother.

I think I have to go have a refreshing glass of Drano! Mmmmm

kthxbye

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2003-09-07 08:07 pm UTC (link)
*rolls eyes* Jeez, some people...
-Sara Jaye

(Reply to this)

  
   
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