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Just another unfunny bitch ([info]dawnswalker) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2003-06-15 01:28:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:anime/manga, thoughts on yaoi, whut, your kink is not okay

Anime Sex Wank
The stage for this wank, Anime on DVD is the definition of anime and DVD geekery to the limit, especially once you get to their digital versatile fanboy forums. Whether they're browbeating anime studios, obsessing over cardboard boxes, or showing the world what happens when yuppies and anime fandom come together, good times are had by all.

Although the mods seem to be vigilant, and the forum community is headed by a crowd of "Yes Men" which rally behind site founder/owner Chris Beveridge, occasionally a wank sneaks right in. By the way, now would be a good time to stress that this wank has spoilers in it for "His and Her Circumstances".


"I'm sorry, but I am against pre-marital sex and I don't think should be promoted in anime as something good. However, I do understand that many people opposed to this issue and I need to respect that. I know I offended some people, but I can not accept premarital sex as being right becuase I was told otherwise. I understand that you may not like what I told you and may not believe it, but it is the truth. I can't tell you premartial sex is right becuase it would be a lie, but I do understand that what you are doing is your choice and I'll accept that and bear no hatred (which I haven't bared from the start). Please let this topic die.
"(sic)

Guess what? It didn't! Although things get off to a slow start (and is sidetracked a bit), the wank is indeed present. Then things take a turn for the absurd:

Sex. It's like cake, in a way.

Then there's the kicker...

"IMHO, sex between a human and an animal or humans who are of the same sex is more offensive than pre-maritial sex."

Okay dear, thanks for sharing info about your family and your conception with the entire internet.

At this point, I think the posters forgot what the thread was supposed to be about.

"I am not surprised that are an atheist. I thought that most fans are, but interesting that you "atheists" made your obsession of anime and your pre-occupation with obtaining anime like a religion. How atheistic is that?"

The reply. Apparently the religious can only relate fandom to religion because that's all they know, or something.

If you don't like premarital sex, you're a pervert deep down inside!

From "His and Her Circumstances" to "Slayers", for vague, tangentially kind-of-related reasons.

Finally, the rallying cry of "Don't Feed the Trolls!"

Followed closely by "SPOILERS! STONE THE INFIDEL TO DEATH!"


The sad thing is, for the reasons that I mentioned above, plus the fact that AoD forum goers are singlemindedly devoted to the Cult of the BOX (no other anime related issue matters to them but the getting of a box to put their DVDs in), that one tended to lose its groove almost as soon as it got it.

But really... when people start mini-wanks about homosexuality, religion, and edits in a completely different series other than the one being discussed, I found it hard not to post this. I hope this is wanktastic enough for a beginning effort. ^^;


(Post a new comment)


[info]split
2003-06-15 11:10 am UTC (link)
Interesting. I was just thinking it was pretty wanktastic when I read another thread tonight from the same forum.

Why guys can't stand yaoi...?

The One Box Holds Them All theme is pretty amusing as well. :D Good wank! (I'm a regular reader of that forum, but sometimes it gets a bit too hardcore even for my taste)

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]iczer6
2003-06-15 08:09 pm UTC (link)
>>Why guys can't stand yaoi...?>>

Cause they're not attracted to other men?

To me the cream of THAT wank had to be the guy who was personally offended by flamboyant gay men.

Cause they're doing it for the sole purpose of annoying him. Not because that's the way they are, or they like it. Nope it's all about HIM.


Icz

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(Reply from suspended user)

[info]dawnswalker
2003-06-16 02:26 am UTC (link)
Maybe he's just one of those V.V. Heterosexuals?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]iczer6
2003-06-16 02:28 am UTC (link)
>>Maybe he's just one of those V.V. Heterosexuals?>>

You mean the ones who are SO het they're gay?


Icz

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]guinevere33
2003-06-15 11:18 am UTC (link)
I think BrianC is onto something here. ALL things that people might object to because they were "told it was wrong" shouldn't be themes in anime. I mean, the Amish don't use electricity, so that pretty much rules out most of Japanese culture right there. And what about Mormons, since they oppose all drug use up to and including caffeine? No more coffee in TV shows!

I particularly like that it's unimportant what actions the characters might be inclined to make based on their personalities in the show. What's important are BrianC's moral sensibilities: clearly the characters should share his value system regardless of upbringing or life experiences!

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]dawnswalker
2003-06-16 02:24 am UTC (link)
Well, I think he was talking only about things that might offend HIM, otherwise, y'know, that's CENSORSHIP.

Not to mention that the premise of the show is based around a high school relationship. I'd like to know how such a show could possibly avoid the subject of premarital sex. In fact, if this guy takes offense at each and every instance of pre-marital sex in the media, I wonder how he manages to see anything on TV or in newspapers at all.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]aruru
2003-06-15 01:53 pm UTC (link)
YES! The WankersOnDVD AnimeOnDVD stuff you kept talking about rounding up and posting! About time, yo. ^^

I will be sitting down and reading this more thoroughly later, when I've slept some more... and am sober enough to fully appreciate the extent of the wank.

(Reply to this)


[info]j_crew_guy
2003-06-16 12:01 am UTC (link)
Oh man, the AOD forums are incredibly wanky (Though the boards have helped make changes for the better when it comes to anime DVDs).

I tend to just check the Studio Feedback area and then the Manga board (Both are plenty wanky) and the Cult of the BOX has spread to the latter, with people rejoicing that Tokyopop will be redoing Cardcaptor Sakura in... A BOX!

It's fucking cardboard. Get over it.

My favorite Cult of the BOX threads are when posters start threads complaining about how thick or thin the boxes are.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]elke_tanzer
2003-06-16 02:02 am UTC (link)
OK, the sheer volume of this wank scared me off reading it, but I have to ask... what am I missing about this box controversy thing? I mean, I like it when a series is released as a set, and it's kind of annoying when I have to buy the DVDs individually instead. But that's not what they're talking about at all, is it?

*is confused, and slightly frightened of the cardboard-thickness-wank*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]dawnswalker
2003-06-16 02:10 am UTC (link)
I think for most of them, it's not so much the getting of the series all at once, but having a fancy box to show it all off in. Hence the shrieking and the gibbering when someone releases a box that's "flimsy" or "ugly" or "just has scanned-in images" or "isn't laminated so that the art won't rub off when [they] try taking the discs out". When I likened them to yuppies in the actual wank, I wasn't really exaggerating at all.

Admittedly, I do have a couple of anime boxes, but I don't have an orgasm when I think of how thick and sturdy they are. Nor do I refuse to buy something just because it doesn't have THE ALMIGHTY BOX right when it first comes out. I'd rather spend the $10 extra I'd have to pay for the special boxes on something else, thanks.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]elke_tanzer
2003-06-16 02:19 am UTC (link)
Gah. Thanks for the clarification. And yikes.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]pradaloz
2003-06-16 02:53 am UTC (link)
but I don't have an orgasm when I think of how thick and sturdy they are

I dunno; thinking about box turgidity makes me feel quite randy.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]kerikeri
2003-06-16 05:12 am UTC (link)
or "isn't laminated so that the art won't rub off when [they] try taking the discs out".

Um... considering the orgasmic tone of their box-related ramblings, are we absolutely sure all they're doing is taking the discs out?

... wow, I just squicked myself. Ouch.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]dawnswalker
2003-06-16 02:30 am UTC (link)
I honestly think that the "Studio Feedback" threads have caused many a studio exec to cry themselves to sleep at night... can they do ANYTHING right by these people?

Then I laugh when they all start wondering "How come studio representatives don't visit us as often anymore?"

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]phosfate
2003-06-16 04:49 pm UTC (link)
Someone who actually gives a crap should put up instructions on how to 'Make Your Own BOX.' Or introduce them to the wonderful world of stick-on laminate sheets. Or just fucking kill them.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]pradaloz
2003-06-16 02:50 am UTC (link)
Uh, you obviously don't understand that the whole point is that in a relationship, people who aren't ice queens will have sex and fully become one with each other.

Yes, because that's what sex is: becoming one with your twu wuv. ♥ ♥ !!!11

Somebody needs to lay off the romance novels.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]kerikeri
2003-06-16 05:08 am UTC (link)
Well, besides the painfully cliched wording, I have to admit I don't find that point of view all that mockworthy. I'd rather see someone who's too idealistic about sex than someone who's too jaded about it, really.

But that's just my wanky hopeless romantic side talking. Carry on. *sheepish grin*

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]azusa
2003-06-17 08:40 am UTC (link)
But really... when people start mini-wanks about homosexuality, religion, and edits in a completely different series other than the one being discussed, I found it hard not to post this. I hope this is wanktastic enough for a beginning effort. ^^;

Most definitely. The entire AnimeOnDVD forum is one of the most wanktabulous things I have ever encountered online, to say nothing of Chris Beveridge himself. How about him naming his kids after anime characters?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]petulance
2003-06-18 07:49 am UTC (link)
Cool. ;D

(Reply to this)(Parent)

  
   
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