It's Smallville Wank! Are you shocked?
Naturally the SV fandom cannot just have awards-giving dramas and flamewars like normal fandoms. That would be way too easy, and the flamewars would be tiresome and petty like with the CBFFAs and the wankery they inspired this year (again).

Not to be outdone, the Smallville folks have come up with a harebrained foolproof way to ensure that their fiction awards are not just fair and accurate, but productive! The Treasury's intentions certainly look noble on the surface, but look closer, and you'll immediately see the potential for mind-frying wank is impressive. Witness: It's been up for, like, a day, and so much silliness has ensued that I've decided to hand out my own SV_Wank awards:

Winning the Best Illustration of That Famed Smallvillian Logic category is Bexless, who is all "Haven't you people learned anything? Fanfic awards are seriously a veryveryveryveryvery bad idea and this is inevitably going to lead to doom and destruction, but I'll support this one anyway because I love everyone there."

Taking home the prestigious I Have No Idea What I Actually Think But I'm Going To Rant About It Anyway</b> award is Corinna_5, who agrees that, "boy, this is going to blow monkey chunks (but I hope I win anyway)."

Whisking away the coveted I Re-explain Myself For The 4813478th Time So That You, Too, Can Feel Free To Hideously Misquote and Subsequently Flame The Shit Out Of Me Anyway prize is Seperis, who explains once again why awards are good and necessary, especially, coincidentally, hers!

ScribblinLenore wins the Believe Me, In *This* Fandom, It's ALWAYS Necessary To Gratuitously Point Out The Obvious award with this entry.

Finally, in an easy victory in the Makes Too Much Sense to Be a Real Smallville Fan category is LaT, who, like the calm before the storm, accurately points out how pretzel-like and egregious the whole thing is.

It's like, nobody's angry and ripping anyone's heads off yet, but everybody uneasily seems to feel like they should be. So, technically, it's not a flamewar yet... it's just a gathering of kindling.

*BTW, all you SV fans out there, I will kill you all if you don't each leave Bible-length explanations for why my Pete humorfic RULES THE UNIVERSE. What? I'm just sayin'.