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Big Bad Snowball (snowball) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2003-06-16 23:44:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Bitch Slapped

I come bearing FFVIII wank!
Hallo, everyone. Long time reader, first time wanker, and all that.

I'm not a member of the FFVIII fandom, but I've followed Slap to the Head Fanfiction Reviews for some time, and I even read the reviews for fandoms I don't belong to. If you're unfamiliar with Slap to the Head, they're a group of fic readers who write reviews for fanfic of all genres. Oftentimes it's bad fanfic, and other times it's just fanfic with one aspect to it that the Bitches want to use to make a point. Generally, they make for good entertainment.

Recently, Lunar Love wrote a review for this Final Fantasy VIII fanfic. It was a generally positive review, considering it's on Slap to the Head, but she mentioned that famous "10% of the population is gay" statistic, somewhat in passing.

Lo and behold, wank ensues in the comments!

The authoress finds the review and responds, and takes it very well.

But pixie518, an acquaintance of the author's, decides to take massive offense for the author's sake. Confronted by dissent, she tells everyone to go play with their Boba Fett dolls, ducks out of arguments with one-liners, and calls everyone a frustrated, finger-pointing cunt. (Which is not only silly, but medically inaccurate.)

Scattered among all this: statistical snarkage, an accusation that slashers are only in it for the OMG pr0n, and pixie518's implied homophobia.

And of course, a futile attempt at getting everyone to stop bitching.

And a good time was had by all.

I'm not entirely sure this counts as wank--let me know if it's not and I'll take it down. I'm just a n00b, see. ^^


(Post a new comment)


[info]nevadafighter
2003-06-17 12:21 pm UTC (link)
Without pixie518, this wouldn't be wank. But she makes it all worthwhile . . . *cackles* I love it. The author isn't disturbed but she takes it upon herself to decry the ficbitches.

As if they give a shit.

(Reply to this)


[info]dawnswalker
2003-06-17 12:47 pm UTC (link)
I have to applaud the actual author of the fanfic for being a good sport (there aren't many of her kind around on the internet), but her "friend" deserves a swift kick in the arse for negating that entirely with her crazed histrionics.

I mean, I could understand (not condone, but understand) the friend's immediate, hysteric lashing-out if the author had given the typical "boo hoo you have raped my soul!!11 Y R U being a MEANIE?!!?!?!" reaction, but since the author wasn't particularly upset (and she even thanked Lunar Love for saying what she really thought of the fic) nor was she bashed mercilessly by the Ficbitch fans once they saw that she at least was fairly levelheaded, I don't understand why this even became a wank at all...

(Reply to this)


[info]virago
2003-06-17 02:22 pm UTC (link)
Oh, dammit, missed the fracas. I saw that the comments had exploded, but it didn't seem wise to pull up a pr0n review at work.

Fuck canon! FF8's plot totally sucked! It is our duty to rewrite it as we see fit and that, in my case, means all kindsa slashing, anyway I can make it happen.

Liek OMG, you are soooooooo totally right. Nice icon, by the way. I know I'm one to talk, but like, omg, good luck getting taken seriously with the teeniegawth icon.

This is funny in no small part because the comebacks are so weak and the comments by the readers are decent. "Like, whatever" is generally not going to make people quiver in fear the way people seem to think it will.

FF8 fandom is so adorably moronic sometimes, with its contingent of absolutely frightening, hysterical "true love conquers all just like in the story really really ITS MENT 2 B" teenies of both genders. I should hunt down those "OMG YOU CAN'T MAKE THEM GAY CUZ IT'S GROSS!!!" flamewars sometime, too, for my own entertainment.

(Reply to this)


[info]tanzy
2003-06-17 02:53 pm UTC (link)
One of the more funny responses to being ficbitched was talked about a couple months ago and damn near caused me to snort my drink. The author, after discovering her precious story had been ficbitched pulled the story down and replaced it with a long winded "FUCK YOU BITCHES, MY TEENAGE ANGST IS MEANINGFUL" rant.

Among other things, she called the reviewers "the Bin-Laden of fanfic critics." A concept that was an endless source of amusement for the ficbitches.

Pixie518 is an idiot and obvious troll, but good for a laugh at least.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]petulance
2003-06-18 01:11 am UTC (link)
I remember that !!! That was so sweet. *savours*

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]eyebrowofdoom
2003-06-17 04:04 pm UTC (link)
Over and over again, stumbling through the wilds of the journals of people who are not, and I suspect, shall and would never be, my friends, I see the puzzling suggestion that writing pornographic fanfiction is: (a) shocking; (b) somehow... bad.

I hear your words, but they make no sense.

Personally, I was shocked when I first discovered genfic. Dude, why would I wade through random amateurs' works of pastiche without the promise of porn?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]pradaloz
2003-06-17 04:19 pm UTC (link)
Dude, why would I wade through random amateurs' works of pastiche without the promise of porn?

You know, everytime I ask non-smut writers that question, they get all huffy. And I still haven't gotten an answer.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]eyebrowofdoom
2003-06-17 05:17 pm UTC (link)
Heh.

Well, I suppose superlative gen fic should be like more of the original, and presumably one likes the original and wants more.

But of course, the "more" of the original that *I* want is not just more of the same, but "more shagging". Or, as the case may be, "any shagging at all, pretty please" (eg LOTR).

I can still get porn kicks out all but the worst smut. With bad gen, there's just... nothing... there.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]phosfate
2003-06-17 06:17 pm UTC (link)
Bad gen makes Baby Jesus cut himself to let the hurt out.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]eyebrowofdoom, 2003-06-17 06:39 pm UTC

[info]pradaloz
2003-06-17 07:50 pm UTC (link)
Wordy McWord. Porn is the universal fic-redeeming value.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]elle, 2003-06-17 09:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pradaloz, 2003-06-17 10:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]petulance, 2003-06-18 01:12 am UTC

[info]virago
2003-06-17 04:22 pm UTC (link)
Well, as a former gen ficcer - it's not so much that you "should," it's just that some people like to read it.

If you don't like it, then there's no reason why you, personally, should read it. But some people do like it, and I believe there's room for all types in fandom, even if you think they're lame. As long as they're not getting in your face, then what's the harm in letting them read what they want?

That's the best answer I can give. Mock away. :)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]eyebrowofdoom
2003-06-17 05:04 pm UTC (link)
And it's as if it's an answer to a different post! I didn't say anything about who there was room for, whether anyone or thing was lame, anybody getting in my face, or propose to stop anybody doing anything. Also, there was no word "should" at any point!

I do read genfic these days, off selective archives rather than lists, because I can't tolerate bad gen the way I can tolerate bad slash. Where I was going with my rhetorical (or so I thought) question was to suggest that fanfiction is of mixed quality; and whereas bad genfic gives you nothing, all but the most incoherent bad smut at least gives you a pornographic kick. This in the context of pointing out that porn value was the reason I got into fanfiction in the first place.

All of which was in response to a righteous commenter in the wank who accused the author of choosing the story's premise for arousal value. As if that were(a) surprising, or (b) bad, in an NC-17 smutfic.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]virago
2003-06-17 05:11 pm UTC (link)
Oh hell! I read "Why would I" as "Why should I", and everything went haywire. Ugh, I'm such a fucking moron.

In that case... I really don't understand the first post, as "Why would I ever read genfic?" would've been the impression I got. But your second post clarifies that, I think. Anyway, as a fucking moron it doesn't matter if I understand it or not.

Anyway. I am clearly an idiot, so the humiliation was well-deserved. Sorry, thanks, etc.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]eyebrowofdoom, 2003-06-17 05:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2003-06-17 05:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eyebrowofdoom, 2003-06-17 06:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]parlance, 2003-06-17 08:44 pm UTC
Oy
[info]iczer6
2003-06-17 07:25 pm UTC (link)
Now I love ficbitches but I honestly think Lunar Love is putting way to much thought and effort into something that was really written for no other reason than to try to get people off.

I mean what was the point about whipping out the statistics? It was a Smut Fic for God sakes!

Read it, enjoy the tingly feelings, and move on.

Icz

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Oy
[info]ymfaery
2003-06-18 03:38 am UTC (link)
It looked like she did, actually. It seems like it was after she finished reading it that she started to think about it and realize the premise didn't make sense to her, which apparently marred the enjoyment factor for her.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Oy
[info]iczer6
2003-06-18 03:53 am UTC (link)
>>It seems like it was after she finished reading it that she started to think about it and realize the premise didn't make sense to her, which apparently marred the enjoyment factor for her.>>

Well to be honest that's really kinda her issue. That seems like a clear case thinking way to hard on something that's really simple.

Smut is smut. If you want deep meaniningful plots you should proably NOT be reading fics designed for the sole purpose of titillating the author and auidence.

I thought the point of smut fics was to get people off, not tell a moving story.

Bitching about smut fics not having a believable premise is like bitching about porn not having believable premise.



Icz

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Oy
[info]mydarkstar
2003-06-18 04:57 am UTC (link)
I don't think she was looking for anything deep and meaningful, though, just something vaguely plausible. I mean, I love PWPs and don't expect a story to have any plot at all if the sex is hot, but it would have to be the hottest sex in the world to make me overlook the annoying stupidity of the "everybody's gay! Or at least everybody I think is hot!" premise. (Or an obvious bit of complete silliness, like Te's "Xanderslut," for example.)

I don't need plot, but I do care about some level of realism. To say otherwise - "it's just smut! You shouldn't care if the premise is really dumb!" - is rather insulting to one's intelligence. One can be aroused and still keep their brains about them, after all. I've never gotten why authors expect to get away with writing things an intelligent audience would never put up with in a PG story just because it's NC-17.

Okay, enough serious discussion. *points and laughs at pixie518*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Oy - [info]iczer6, 2003-06-18 05:35 am UTC

[info]msmanna
2003-06-17 08:57 pm UTC (link)

I thought the canon zealots (We have a duty to stick to canon! Deviating from canon is as bad as mass murder!) were actually funnier.

I remember having a discussion in someone's LJ about sexuality stats, during which I said in a fit of hyperbole that *no one* would be moronic enough to suggest that an author should roll dice and write endless het stories from the results until she finally got the right lucky setup for the five-way *NSYNC fuckfest she actually wanted to write. But, um. Guess I was wrong.

Normally I love the ficbitches, but that kind of statistical stupidity always makes me smile. It's wrong on *so* many levels it's hard even to know where to start. It's like objecting to murder mystery stories because the statistical murder rate makes it *totally* implausible that there would be that many killings in the space of one book. Dude, it's called a 'premise'.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]elle
2003-06-17 09:50 pm UTC (link)
I would personally call it an 'implausable premise', but I'm just a dirty het-lover, so what do I know?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]iczer6
2003-06-17 10:58 pm UTC (link)
>>I would personally call it an 'implausable premise'<<

I thought the point of FICTION was to explore things that aren't likely to happen in real life. Henceforth why it's called fiction.

And part of enjoying fiction is being able to suspend your disbelife. Yeah I know summoning powerful demons to do my fight isn't TOO likely to happen in Real Life, but I'm willing to forget that when playing Final Fantasy.

It's called having fun.

Also to be utterly wanky where does it say that those statistics will work in the FFVIII universe? I mean who's to say that things like bisexuality and homosexuality aren't more common in the FFVIII world?


Icz

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]elle
2003-06-17 11:11 pm UTC (link)
And who's to say they aren't less common? Who's to say these particular characters are gay at all? The point was raised on the actual wank, but it's fanfiction. You're playing in someone else's sandbox. You don't have to follow the canon, but people should be prepared to get called on it when characters act OOC. In the ffvii fic, one character had a canon girlfriend, one character was a womanizer, and one seemed to be in love with a girl. It's kind of a stretch for me to accept that not only would these character all be gay, and all be willing to have an orgy. For me, that makes it implausible. If it doesn't for you, that's great.

I enjoy fic that raises salient points about a character, that explores relationships in a plausible manner, and in general adds to the game/book/show. Once again, if that isn't how you like your fic, that's great. But I don't see the point of jumping on people just because they want *gasp* in character fic!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]iczer6, 2003-06-17 11:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]elle, 2003-06-17 11:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]iczer6, 2003-06-17 11:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]elle, 2003-06-17 11:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]iczer6, 2003-06-18 12:00 am UTC
Elle? Enough. Nobody cares. - [info]raisedbyhyenas, 2003-06-18 12:17 am UTC
Re: Elle? Enough. Nobody cares. - [info]elle, 2003-06-18 01:09 am UTC
Re: Elle? Enough. Nobody cares. - [info]petulance, 2003-06-18 01:16 am UTC
Re: Elle? Enough. Nobody cares. - [info]elle, 2003-06-18 01:19 am UTC

[info]split
2003-06-18 01:00 am UTC (link)
I remember having a discussion in someone's LJ about sexuality stats, during which I said in a fit of hyperbole that *no one* would be moronic enough to suggest that an author should roll dice and write endless het stories from the results until she finally got the right lucky setup for the five-way *NSYNC fuckfest she actually wanted to write.

Completely unrelated, but check out this random porn generator thingy. :D

http://www.bad-luck.net/nostyle/enter.html

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]petulance
2003-06-18 01:18 am UTC (link)
*coughs* yeah, that is a really cool page <_<;;

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]iczer6, 2003-06-18 03:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]virago, 2003-06-18 04:32 am UTC

[info]unoriginality
2003-06-18 04:59 am UTC (link)
*giggles* I have to get my friend to upload the program he made called ShippyStat. It's a lot like that, except there's no pics, it has females too, and it gives you a random number for the likelihood that those two would end up together. It comes complete with Pokemon in the listing. Endless hours of amusement. *gets Suguru x Dilandau with Dilandau as uke and weeps* The pain!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

I found it! - [info]unoriginality, 2003-06-18 05:30 am UTC
Re: I found it! - [info]virago, 2003-06-18 06:48 am UTC
Re: I found it! - [info]unoriginality, 2003-06-18 06:53 am UTC
Re: I found it! - [info]dawnswalker, 2003-06-18 08:06 am UTC
Re: I found it! - [info]unoriginality, 2003-06-18 08:26 am UTC

[info]rann
2003-06-29 03:41 am UTC (link)
One of my fanfics was reviewed on the Slap to the Head website, and I took it quite well, because it was one of my completely-and-utterly weird fics, Pop Goes the Ranma, and the review was done very humorously. I invited the reviewer to join my fanfic list, and he did so, saying he looked forward to reading my other work. ^.^

(Reply to this)

  
   
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