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Wankprophet (![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} wankprophet) wrote in ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/community.gif){kind=small} fandom_wank,@ 2005-06-23 13:01:00 |
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Fandom_Lust
I just want to say this:
Love is obsolete. Lust is the future of fandom.
Once, Hugh Hefner shocked the world by printing a magazine with women whose breasts were bared. Now, the only thing that shocks us is if Aragorn doesn't give Legolas a tender kiss after brutally ass-raping him.
So I think Fandom_Love is misguided. We need Fandom_Lust....
...because ninety percent of fandom consists of people writing sex acts that require that the laws of physics be suspended and that Draco have a three-foot long dick shaped like a dolphin while Harry have three buttocks. And because Mary-Sues basically have to be humanoid pieces of Evil Silly Putty in order to perform half the sexual gymnastics they're described as performing.
...because even Sam probably took a little time off to peer through the hole in the women's dressing room in Minas Morgul.
...because anime characters all look so much alike that it's impossible to tell whether a given story is slash or het or femme-slash or just the comic book equivalent of hermaphrodite!Barbie getting it on with Ken
...because nowadays, Professor Buttplug is considered a canon character in Harry Potter by virtually all of fandom.
...because fandom brought Elijah and Dom together in that beautiful sekrit!agent way that helped inspire the da Vinci Code.
...because the last time Buffy the Vampire Slayer actually stuck a stake anywhere that didn't evoke moans of pleasure was before Spike turned into her personal nancy-boy bitch
...because when Scully discovered what "was out there," it turned out to be Mulder's dick hanging from his unzipped pants
...because Spock's ears apparently look like wee little dildoes if you squint hard enough. As does Tinkerbell.
...because, to an insightful fanfic writer, a broken lightsaber just means that it's safer to use during the kinky sex
...because during Pirates of the Caribbean zombie!orgies, sinuous entwined body parts can be returned to Lost and Found to be reclaimed later
So I propose we reclaim what is ours and make this Fandom_Lust. Let our rallying cry be, "Show me your boobies!" Because the Hive Vagina is ours to pleasure.
P.S. Show me your boobs!
I just want to say this:
Love is obsolete. Lust is the future of fandom.
Once, Hugh Hefner shocked the world by printing a magazine with women whose breasts were bared. Now, the only thing that shocks us is if Aragorn doesn't give Legolas a tender kiss after brutally ass-raping him.
So I think Fandom_Love is misguided. We need Fandom_Lust....
...because ninety percent of fandom consists of people writing sex acts that require that the laws of physics be suspended and that Draco have a three-foot long dick shaped like a dolphin while Harry have three buttocks. And because Mary-Sues basically have to be humanoid pieces of Evil Silly Putty in order to perform half the sexual gymnastics they're described as performing.
...because even Sam probably took a little time off to peer through the hole in the women's dressing room in Minas Morgul.
...because anime characters all look so much alike that it's impossible to tell whether a given story is slash or het or femme-slash or just the comic book equivalent of hermaphrodite!Barbie getting it on with Ken
...because nowadays, Professor Buttplug is considered a canon character in Harry Potter by virtually all of fandom.
...because fandom brought Elijah and Dom together in that beautiful sekrit!agent way that helped inspire the da Vinci Code.
...because the last time Buffy the Vampire Slayer actually stuck a stake anywhere that didn't evoke moans of pleasure was before Spike turned into her personal nancy-boy bitch
...because when Scully discovered what "was out there," it turned out to be Mulder's dick hanging from his unzipped pants
...because Spock's ears apparently look like wee little dildoes if you squint hard enough. As does Tinkerbell.
...because, to an insightful fanfic writer, a broken lightsaber just means that it's safer to use during the kinky sex
...because during Pirates of the Caribbean zombie!orgies, sinuous entwined body parts can be returned to Lost and Found to be reclaimed later
So I propose we reclaim what is ours and make this Fandom_Lust. Let our rallying cry be, "Show me your boobies!" Because the Hive Vagina is ours to pleasure.
P.S. Show me your boobs!
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