Last night, hugsnkisses stuck me with an e-needle filled with what I can describe only as liquid happiness. Somewhere in the ensuing few hours of deeply misguided "caring about other people", I expressed illusory emotions that have never before or since "lightened" the sweet, sweet miasma of my blackened heart. Shortly thereafter I fell into a deep sleep, in which I dreamed of horrific manifestations of Loki the mad god dolled up in carebear form. They were riding, and it pains me more than you could ever know to say this, my little ponies.

Upon waking I promptly experienced a hangover the likes of which have never been seen, not even by your mother the day after giving birth*. I swear there were tiny pink hearts struggling to crowd their way into my vision for hours. But I got them. I got them all.

Anyway, such unconscionable alteration is well outside the permitted role of a mod here, so I've taken the liberty of declaring myself Dark Tyrant of Fandom Wank. And no, I will not call it by that filthy moniker your oppressors have brainwashed you into calling it.

Rally, my troops! Tonight the blood of ponies will darken the streets of Journalfen! Tonight we wank again! Assuming any of you have something to post, because even though I'm now evil and have grown a wicked goatee I'm still lazy.

CES WAS RIGHT.

P.S. This is probably the hangover talking, but I'm going to just ban everyone I don't like now.

*because she had to drink a lot. because you were ugly.