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memii ([info]memii) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2005-07-22 23:34:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:*thud*
Current music:Samurai Champloo 05 [AF - F]

*headdesk*
This is just... WTF. Congrats to the mousie on [info]wank_report for finding this gem of a wank.

From the mousie:

Found this gem on fanficrants, as posted by blackstronghold.

"But people with commissions sell their stuff!"

Found by a friend of mine, someone is attempting to sell her written works in specific fandoms.

...Poems are not worth 10 USD.

There's a rant here, about not the innards about the work, but the creator. And I'm sure you might figure it out without me explaining it.


In the actual post (of which I have a copy, should it be deleted), queenstrata discusses pricing ("Per one-shot and/or poem: $10.00 USD or 4 months paid lj time or 1 year extra icon space") and her attitude to plagiarism ("Do not try to swindle me out of money, and do not try to pass any of my work off as your own. Because when I find out you have, I will find a way to make sure you regret it. I am greedy, remember.") She also has this to say when told she might get into trouble for this whole earning money from fanfic thing and have to deal with ebil lawyers: "I shall kick their obnoxious blame-pointing arses if they bother me! *dramatic pose* Nobody makes an example out of me! I shall send them to Lawyer Hell and um... Okay, let's face it. I'm not good at stupid dramatic speeches. The point is, they're going to get more than they bargained for because I seem Sweet and Innocent, and Bloody Retarded to most people, so they won't expect whatever I throw at them. XD And I'll probably have people to back me up besides. (*poses again* I fight for True Justice, and the fannish way!)"

ETA: Bahleeted! But here's the original, as copied by our friend the Reporter Mouse.

ETA2:[info]queenstrata apologizes, because apparently the lawyers go after BNFs first. (Ok, everybody who has heard of [info]queenstrata before this wank, raise your hand!)
Also, in the apology thread, [info]vengefulwrath wanks about Fandom Wank being OMG meen to her friend.

ETA3: Shit, someone linked Goldberg's blog.



(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

Wank Report Mouse Coming to Rescue!
(Anonymous)
2005-07-23 07:13 pm UTC (link)
[info]memii should probably add this to the original wank post, so that it doesn't get lost in the comments, but this is what queenstrata had to say:

Here goes.
Alright, here's the deal. I've decided I will be going after this mad money-making scheme, even though I doubt it'll be worth it. (Someone do me a favor and prove me wrong?)

Prices
Per one-shot and/or poem: $10.00 USD or 4 months paid lj time or 1 year extra icon space
Per chapter for chaptered stories: $5.00 USD or 2 months paid lj time or 6 months extra icon space (which is $6.00, rather than $5.00)
Writing a chapter for an abandoned fanfiction counts as a chaptered story.
Per drabble (300 words or less): $1.00 USD
For a series of drabbles, each individual drabble is $1.00.
Swaps: I will be willing to write a story in exchange for another story/poem or piece of art. One-shots or Drabbles only!
Anything else: I am also willing to discuss any alternate payments someone might suggest. (Such as payment by length or time spent working on it.)

Methods of Payment
Snail Mail: Yeah. Send money/check/whatever in an envelope to my house.
PayPal: I'll get back to you on this one. *confused as fuck*
Something else: Suggestions, pleace? I'm a bit lost with all this.
All I ask is that you willingly pay before I send you whatever I've written for you. I will let you know when I've completed your request, and will wait for payment (or at least a response) for two weeks before I put it up somewhere. You will not get another chance at this.

How to Request
1) Reply in a comment to this entry.
2) Ask via my yahoo group
3) Send me an e-mail.
4) Comment in a fanfiction you want updated.

You can ask for: an update to a fic that I've abandoned (will list them later), a novel-length fanfiction in any of my fandoms (list later), a drabble in any of my fandoms, a poem in any of my fandoms, a one-shot in any of my fandoms, an original novel, an original drabble, an original one-shot, a full-length play, or a one act play. Anything with chapters must be at least three chapters--if it's only two chapters, I will label them one-shots and charge for two of them. If you ask for an original poem to be inserted into a story, it will be an extra charge ($0.50 per line, not exceeding $5.00), same for excerpts of made-up novels or one-shots ($0.50 per 100 words, not exceeding $5.00); however, if I write one in myself during the course of writing, there will be no charge.

You may ask for whatever you wish to be in the work: scenes, lines, pairings, words, genre, title, characters, objects, settings, POV, etc. Yes, I will write AUs and crossovers. Include as much of a description as you desire for any of those things. The only exceptions for what you can ask for are things that I refuse/cannot do (which I will list soon). If you request original characters, give me as much information as you can so I can keep them as in character as I can manage without being able to see inside your mind.

You may, of course, ask that I not publish whatever I'm writing for you anywhere on the internet; however, you have no say whether I publish it in a book (original works and certain fanfiction poetry) because I am greedy, and if there's an opportunity to make money I might not pass it up. I will, of course, try not to publish anything unless absolutely necessary (or if I thought it was too good not to publish). As a matter of course, you may not request that I write a chapter for an abandoned fanfiction that you can keep for yourself.


TBC in the comment below...

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Wank Report Mouse Coming to Rescue!
(Anonymous)
2005-07-23 07:18 pm UTC (link)
What I will/can not do
1) Smut/pr0n/whatever-you-call-it. I am incapable of doing such things even halfway decently, and it makes me uncomfortable besides. I probably won't even go past kissing much, unless it's absolutely necessary. Any time characters have sex/masturbate/what-have-you, I will pass right over it and leave it up to your imagination.
2) Drama/Horror/Mystery/Suspense. Frankly, this is too much work. All that...keeping secrets and whatnot, and deciding exactly when to let what bits of information out to interest you...yeah, not happening. And drama? Drama brings to mind livejournal and soaps. Not happening.
3) There are fandoms where I cannot write certain pairings or I only write certain pairings. These pairings will be listed with my fandoms. In general, I will not do beastiality and incest--there are, of course, exceptions (especially in the Potterverse).
4) Real person fanfiction, slash or otherwise.

My fandoms
1) Harry Potter
___Will not write: Ron/Harry, Ron/Draco, Harry/Cho, Harry/Marietta, Harry/Hermione, Harry/Luna, Neville/Hermione, Harry/Colin, Dumbledore/anyone, McGonagall/anyone, Weasleycest
___Love to write: Harry/Draco, Severus/Harry, Ron/Hermione, Sirius/Remus, Sirius/Severus, Remus/Lucius, Pansy/Luna, Draco/Luna, James/Severus
2) Good Omens
3) Gundam Wing
___I've had no practice writing Relena, just to warn you.
4) Kingdom Hearts
___I won't split up Cloud/Aerith unless I'm writing Cloud/Leon.
___I prefer not to deal with Donald, Goofy, or Mickey romances, thanks.
5) FAKE
___Will not split up Dee/Ryo unless one of them dies.
6) Gravitation
___Will not split up any canon pairings.
7) Final Fantasy VIII
8) Ronin Warriors
___Will not write Rowen/Kayura, because it just annoys me (for no apparent reason).
___Will not put Yuli with any of the older characters.
9) Pirates of the Caribbean
___Will not write: Jack/Will/Elizabeth, Jack/Norrington.
This list may be added to!


*snip for a list of abandoned fics (including titles like Karaoke Madness) you can find in her ff.net profile*

~*~ A warning: I will be keeping impeccable records of everything. Do not try to swindle me out of money, and do not try to pass any of my work off as your own. Because when I find out you have, I will find a way to make sure you regret it. I am greedy, remember. What's mine is mine, and you'd do well to remember that. If I can spend months going after some kid for attempting to steal my MST of Harry Potter and win, don't think I won't get at you. I'm sure this warning isn't necessary, of course...but it's here all the same. ~*~
Wow, that made me sound like a right bitch. Sorry about that.

For anyone who has yet to experience my writing, here are some examples (all fanfiction).

*snip again for fics, but leaving in a list of different types of writing she’s done*
Poems, Drabbles, Humor, Novel-Length Shite, Romance, Angst, Het, Femslash, Gen

And if you want to continue reading, visit my fanfiction.net page (http://www.fanfiction.net/~queenstrata) and/or my website (http://www.angelfire.com/wizard/queenstrata).

(P.S. Please ignore any misspellings or grammar errors you've seen on this page. I haven't had time to go over it yet for typos and the such.)

I would kindly like to request that people spread the word for me: the only other places I have to pimp myself are yahoo, ff.net, and my site. I'm sure I can find a way to reward people for getting me buyers: ask and ye shall (possibly) receive.


Now aren't you sorry you cannot commission her to write you some suspense-free, novel-length shite?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Wank Report Mouse Coming to Rescue!
[info]kinneas
2005-07-23 07:21 pm UTC (link)
...Sweet jesus. Thank you, I think.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Wank Report Mouse Coming to Rescue!
[info]yamashitaaki
2005-07-23 07:22 pm UTC (link)
That doesn't reek of entitlement whore AT ALL. >

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Wank Report Mouse Coming to Rescue!
[info]ultimate_cin
2005-07-23 07:59 pm UTC (link)
Jesus, this makes my brain hurt.

She'll charge you money, but only to write what she wants to write and not whatever pairing you might want to read? Since, you know, you are the paying customer?

And she won't write smut/pr0n, but she has written femslash? How in the heck do you write femslash and skip over the pr0n??

*headdesk*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Wank Report Mouse Coming to Rescue!
[info]chikane
2005-07-23 08:38 pm UTC (link)
Uhm....you do realize that fiction including a homosexual pairing does not need to have actual sex? o.O

I'm not trying to defend her, but femmeslash is definitely not always porn. Most of the femmeslash that I do know lacks explicit sex. Sometimes it's mentioned to have happened, but that's it.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Wank Report Mouse Coming to Rescue!
[info]elanor_durall
2005-07-23 08:29 pm UTC (link)
Snail Mail: Yeah. Send money/check/whatever in an envelope to my house.

Yes, give me your address. So I can ... send you money.

Muhuhahahah.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Wank Report Mouse Coming to Rescue!
[info]im_nucking_futs
2005-07-23 10:35 pm UTC (link)
*bangs head until it splits open*

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Wank Report Mouse Coming to Rescue!
(Anonymous)
2005-07-24 01:05 am UTC (link)
This is a new level of CRAZY.

I weep for Gravitation. My poor, poor fandom.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Wank Report Mouse Coming to Rescue!
[info]memii
2005-07-24 01:30 am UTC (link)
Thanks mouse, I'll link this comment thread of yours, instead of putting a huge cut in.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Wank Report Mouse Coming to Rescue!
[info]castellated
2005-07-24 06:14 am UTC (link)
This is mindboggling. Dude, I can get crappy fic sans pr0n for free. Hell, I can get good, porny fic for free. Who the hell needs your ass? (She evidently writes in my fandom and I've never heard of her ... apparently "nobody" is the new BNF?)

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Wank Report Mouse Coming to Rescue!
[info]psychofangirl
2005-07-24 08:49 am UTC (link)
Hmph. At least Yu-Gi-Oh and Final Fantasy X/X-2 were spared.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Wank Report Mouse Coming to Rescue!
[info]slothy
2005-07-24 11:28 am UTC (link)
2) Drama/Horror/Mystery/Suspense. Frankly, this is too much work. All that...keeping secrets and whatnot, and deciding exactly when to let what bits of information out to interest you...yeah, not happening.

She wants to charge 5 bucks a chapter... but building up a decent plot is too much effort so she won't write it?

I have never wanted a bitch, please icon more in my life.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Wank Report Mouse Coming to Rescue!
[info]smo
2005-07-24 02:48 pm UTC (link)
It's totally irrelevant to this wank, but feel free to steal this one. :)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Wank Report Mouse Coming to Rescue!
[info]slothy
2005-07-26 10:58 am UTC (link)
Hee, thanks for that. *yoinks*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Wank Report Mouse Coming to Rescue!
[info]smo
2005-07-26 01:35 pm UTC (link)
You are muchly welcome. *g*

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Wank Report Mouse Coming to Rescue!
[info]nekoneko
2005-07-24 09:13 pm UTC (link)
I have some lovely Neil Gaiman 'Bitch please' right here. ^^ Feel free to grab.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Wank Report Mouse Coming to Rescue!
(Anonymous)
2005-07-26 10:55 am UTC (link)
Oh my Gaiman! That rocks. Thanks!

*limegreen_sloth posting as anonymous because her account has for some reason been suspended?

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Wank Report Mouse Coming to Rescue!
[info]slothy
2005-07-26 10:59 am UTC (link)
Duh. Me braindead. Me try to log in with wrong username. Me forget me not on livejournal. Me make fire. Grr.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Wank Report Mouse Coming to Rescue!
[info]smo
2005-07-24 02:44 pm UTC (link)
Gravitation - Will not split up any canon pairings.

Is she including the Remixes in that statement? Because bitch betta not break up my K/Hiro.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Wank Report Mouse Coming to Rescue!
[info]lolibot
2005-07-26 12:33 am UTC (link)
wtf no jack/norrington?! this bitch is crazy.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Wank Report Mouse Coming to Rescue!
[info]eljuno
2005-07-26 03:17 am UTC (link)
Harry/Marietta

Is it wrong that my first thought on that was 'I would pay to re...oh, wait.'

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Wank Report Mouse Coming to Rescue!
(Anonymous)
2005-07-24 04:28 pm UTC (link)
All I ask is that you willingly pay before I send you whatever I've written for you. I will let you know when I've completed your request, and will wait for payment (or at least a response) for two weeks before I put it up somewhere. You will not get another chance at this.


I love how much she's thought this through. If you don't pay, she'll post it somewhere everyone can see it? So... you really don't need to pay at all.

Wow.


-Mylla on LJ

(Reply to this)(Parent)


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