Current mood:

*sporfle!*

HP Wank: The Aftermath
Re-hash for the people living under a rock:

Emerson interviews J.K. Rowling and uses the opportunity to call Harry/Hermione shippers "delusional" a few times. This is followed up with an apology:

My comments weren't directed at the shippers who acknowledged that Harry/Hermione was a long shot but loved the idea of them together. It was directed at the "militant" shippers who insisted that there was overwhelming canon proof and that everyone else was too blind to see it. You were delusional; you saw what you wanted to see and you have no one to blame for that but yourselves.

Some of you seem to have forgotten that romance is not the central focus of the series. But now that the creator herself has laid down the law, it's time for you to lick your wounds and move on.

H/H shippers are very happy to hear this.


Now for the new wank:

Emerson updates Mugglenet's Wall of Shame.

The Wall of Shame claims to be "a collection of the dumbest, random and most pointless letters we've received."

In the new update, Emerson quotes posts from the HMS Harmony forum (no point linking to it, since you have to be registered to view it.):

---

MysticKnight: Emerson, let me know when you finally grow pubes and move out of your parents house.

That could maybe be an actual insult were I not a college-bound high school graduate.

Maestro: Maybe you are right MK but weren't we the more smart people....do we need to get to the level of the Herons even though we lost?

No, you were not the "more smart" people. Sink to the level of the Herons? I don't see any R/Hrs insulting your living quarters and pubic-area development.

Harmione2005: Oh man, I'm lmao.

Emerson, Melissa... Why not treat others as you would like to be treated? How would you have felt if Harmony sailed and we laughed at you? How would you feel if we called you delusional when you were already feeling down because your ships didn't sail? You wouldn't have like it would you?

Hi, lmao:

I'm sure I wouldn't care. You see, I, unlike you, can take a joke. I'd be a little disappointed - yes, just a LITTLE - but I think there's more to life than Harry Potter shipping, and I would fully expect a neverending stream of I-Told-You-So's on the part of the Harry/Hermione shippers. Both parties have been claiming to be right for years, I think we've earned the right to a little gloating. Immature? Probably. But I'm 18 and IDGRA.

...

Look it up.

Danielle: :rotfl: some of the comments are so funny.

Finally, something we agree on.

I wish we could make Emerson pay but I dont think we can do anything and he is still laughing at us.

Dingdingding!

No Matter what Mugglenet is the biggest HP site and I dont see that changing. So he is an Ass but we can not win just by name calling and he is still admired by most of the HP fandom.

You forgot to mention how unprofessional, arrogant, unprofessional, insensitive, unprofessional, immature, inconsiderate, unprofessional, irresponsible, unprofessional, juvenile, unprofessional, tactless and unprofessional I am.

PaisleyPi has different ideas:

I wonder about this strategy. It might be better to have Harmonians there representing our ideals since those sites are so well established. I even wonder if it might be a good idea for more of us to post there more often since that is where our voices are likely to be heard by greater numbers. ... If hundred of Harmonians crowded their forums defending the ideals represented by Harmony, that might be very powerful. We could weave examples and ideas of why H/Hr would have been better than H/G or R/Hr into every topic. We could post essays and speculate about how perfect H/Hr would have been and how this could have been a story of great love conquering a vast evil.

"Oh, good Lord. They are slain, and yet they remain upright, walking slowly and moaning for brains...yes, friends, it's the H/H Zombie fen. They're dead, but they won't stay buried. They'd probably think that's a compliment, but they're no Second Coming. They're Plan Nine from Outer Space." -- someone with a good sense of humor

---

So far the H/H ship appears to have decided that that romance is not the central focus of the series and has posted only saying:

"Dear Emerson,
You say -we- should get over shipping, and don't belong at -your- website. And yet -you- cannot seem to pry yourself away from -our- forums.

So, we have a deal for you: You first.

Harmoniously yours,
The Harry/Hermione Militia."

How long will this new-found restraint last? A week? A day? A second?

Stay tuned for the inevitable sequel of Harry Potter and The Neverending Spooge.


ETA: Fixed the tags.
ETA 2: The Harmony forum isn't actually members-only (anymore?). *spanks sloppy research monkey*. Click here for the wanky response to Emerson's wanky response of the H/H shippers wanky response of Emerson's wanky gloating.

It's the perpetuum mobile of wank.