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mathias ([info]mathias) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2005-08-08 04:10:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Star Wars brings teh Crazy
Extra, Extra! Read all about it! Howard wants you all to know that he knows how to make Star Wars!

The movies were wrong, but the books were right.

His dog should be Chewbacca (nevermind that Chewie's based on George's dog), and that Patrick Swayze should be Han Solo, not that no-name actor Harrison Ford! How can Howard claim that he can do a better job of visualizing the the series than the trained artists at Industrial Light & Magic? Because his art is CLEARLY of higher caliber.

Howard also has never seen the movies either, by the way. But that doesn't matter, he doesn't have to see a movie to review it or make judgments!


Thinking it's appropriate to randomly post in a Star Wars LJ community about boycotting the Star Wars movies (from presumably corrupting those INNOCENT souls), Howard decides to preach to the choir with such gems as:

Do you see what I'm doing here? I am able to personalize the story, whereas you can only imagine it how the movie tells you it is. I can now enjoy the story far more, and on so many more levels than you can. In conclusion, I know that quite a few of you have seen these movies, so I guess it's too late for you to imagine what is actually possible. The people I am trying to get through to are the innocents that whose minds are blank at the moment like mine is lucky to still be. The answer is NO. Buy the books instead, and save yourself a ton of money in the proccess, and imagine it how YOU want to. Not greedy Hollywood movie-makers.

Because not even George Lucas knows Star Wars like Howard does.

Edit: Howard apparently has crossposted this to several places. He strikes again, and again

(Post a new comment)


(Anonymous)
2005-08-08 02:19 pm UTC (link)
You know, it IS possibly to re-imagine a movie after you've seen it! Gasp! He hasn't heard of this concept! LOTR. One such example of not getting too fixed on the previous movie's looks, etc.

(Reply to this)


[info]undone
2005-08-08 02:52 pm UTC (link)
This guy is serious? He also watched "Donnie Darko" and in his review was completely fixated on Patrick Swayze too. O___O

(Reply to this)(Thread)


(Anonymous)
2005-08-08 02:53 pm UTC (link)
Be sure to check out his "review" of "Finding Nemo".

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]nostalgia, 2005-08-08 07:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2005-08-09 12:59 am UTC

[info]komorebi
2005-08-08 02:57 pm UTC (link)
Here's a Swayze, there's a Swayze, and another little Swayze. *facedesk*

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]knightrider
2005-08-08 03:13 pm UTC (link)
But his Fight Club review ROCKS.

/still laughing like a loon

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]knightrider
2005-08-08 03:20 pm UTC (link)
I actually don't think he is, after reading the Finding Nemo, Fight Club, Kangaroo Jack and Donnie Darko reviews.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

(no subject) - [info]deadlettero, 2005-08-09 08:01 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-13 06:53 am UTC

[info]hobbitsexual
2005-08-08 03:19 pm UTC (link)
I call troll.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]knightrider, 2005-08-08 03:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hobbitsexual, 2005-08-08 03:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-08 03:43 pm UTC
Logic does not apply here
(Anonymous)
2005-08-08 03:26 pm UTC (link)
Here's what I don't get: he owned the action figures. How can he claim to really "imagine" what certain aliens or spaceships look like in the books when he-- undoubtedly-- owned toys of some of these very same aliens and spaceships?

And wouldn't Patrick Swayze have been too young to play Han back when the first movie was filmed? Even if he was old enough back then, there's no way he could replace Harrison Ford. No frickin' way.

--blueshinra on lj

(Reply to this)


[info]ultimate_cin
2005-08-08 03:28 pm UTC (link)
The people I am trying to get through to are the innocents that whose minds are blank at the moment like mine is lucky to still be.

Hmmmm - I think that says it all really....

And nobody could ever play Han Solo like Harrison Ford. Especially not Patrick Swayze.....*mind boggles*

(Reply to this)


[info]herdivineshadow
2005-08-08 04:13 pm UTC (link)
Heh, he posted on a community I mod too, the university of birmingham sci-fi society. And probably a whole bunch of others.

(Reply to this)


[info]kadath
2005-08-08 04:20 pm UTC (link)
One, I think it's a troll.

Two, when he says: So when I finally saw some of the novels at the library, I gave-in and picked up the first in the series. It completely captivated me and made me realize exactly what was going on, and I didn't even HAVE to see the movie, I think he means the Thrawn trilogy, which are in fact really good books, and better than the prequels. So, even a stopped clock, and all that.

(Reply to this)


[info]shoiryu
2005-08-08 05:10 pm UTC (link)
To be fair, I don't think George Lucas knows Star Wars all that well, himself.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]skarrow, 2005-08-08 05:18 pm UTC
Icon! - (Anonymous), 2005-08-08 09:09 pm UTC
Re: Icon! - [info]skarrow, 2005-08-08 09:36 pm UTC
Seconding the icon love! - [info]franzi1981, 2005-08-09 10:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kadath, 2005-08-08 05:37 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-08-08 07:16 pm UTC (link)
I would always get drafted to play a Speeder-biker or an Ewok when everyone else got to be main-characters. Obviously these things left a bad taste in my mouth about the Star Wars.

I, too, suffered childhood trauma at the hands of Star Wars, being forced to play do-nothing Pricess Leia when I really wanted to be Darth Vader....just because I was the girl. Thus, I now think that our knowledge of Star Wars should be based only on the 1998 Trivial Pursuit game version and that Han Solo should have been played by Christopher Walken.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-08 07:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-08 08:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]narcissam, 2005-08-08 09:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]telophase, 2005-08-08 10:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]redmark, 2005-08-09 12:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]telophase, 2005-08-09 12:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]redmark, 2005-08-09 02:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]notjo, 2005-08-09 11:23 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-09 12:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]telophase, 2005-08-09 04:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]narcissam, 2005-08-09 06:33 am UTC
Same mouse from above - (Anonymous), 2005-08-09 01:05 am UTC
Re: Same mouse from above - (Anonymous), 2005-08-09 02:56 am UTC
Re: Same mouse from above - (Anonymous), 2005-08-09 05:27 am UTC
Re: Same mouse from above - [info]narcissam, 2005-08-09 06:35 am UTC
Re: Same mouse from above - [info]iscoffy, 2005-08-09 11:52 pm UTC
Re: Same mouse from above - [info]notjo, 2005-08-09 11:23 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-08-08 09:44 pm UTC (link)
This popped up on my flist yesterday and it left me scratching my head in confusion. There's nothing wrong with liking the books more than the movies but why in the world would he try to get die hard Star Wars fans to boycott the movies along with him, most of these people grew up watching Star Wars. I think this guy is forgetting that the books came from the movie scripts not the other way around. Maybe he should read some of the EU novels where alot of the characters, aliens and worlds aren't in any movie. Go read Timothy Zahn's books or the New Jedi Order. Those will never be movies and the NJO is full of characters who are not and never will be shown on a movie screen. Patrick Swayze could play all of them if he so desires but he can never replace Harrison Ford as Han Solo.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2005-08-08 10:06 pm UTC (link)
Did anyone else almost go into seizures about viewing his website? *Lies down*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-08 10:07 pm UTC

[info]serafina20
2005-08-08 10:32 pm UTC (link)
I like how he always envisioned Darth Vader as this guy Lace he knows. That cracked me up more than the Patrick Swayze thing.

(Reply to this)


[info]castellated
2005-08-08 10:44 pm UTC (link)
When a person's LJ says "teenaged genious" (sic), it's not a troll or a joke, but a kid who's so full of himself he's sloppin' over.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]lunarei, 2005-08-09 08:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]castellated, 2005-08-09 10:03 am UTC

[info]phosfate
2005-08-09 12:22 am UTC (link)
This guy is either a brilliantly subtle troll, or has at some point suffered a nasty head injury.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2005-08-09 01:00 am UTC (link)
From his userinfo: "Hello, I'm Howard Tuttleman. I live with Morris (my dog), and my parents in Ferndale, Michigan.

How old is he? *snort*

(Reply to this)

This almost HAS to be a joke.
(Anonymous)
2005-08-09 03:39 am UTC (link)
An incredibly elaborate and overdone (but occasionally very funny) joke. Excerpts of reviews from his website:

2001, A Space Odyssey:

Rented this one just to laugh at how moviemakers in the 50's and 60's thought the world was going to look in the year 2001. I figured we would see ridiculous flying cars, jet packs, etc...I was gonna write a review here talking about how wrong they were...I popped it in the player and to my surprise it just looked like a fake documentary about monkeys with a couple of guys in really fake looking monkey costumes. Kind of like Planet of the Apes. 5 minutes in: Still monkeys (no narraration or anything either). 10 minutes in I asked myself "How are they going to stretch this out for a whole stupid movie?!" I will never know. Because when a monkey threw a bone up in the air so high that it went into space and morphed into a rocket-ship I was done with this garbage. Who on earth would predict the year 2001 would be like that!? I returned it shortly after that and rented Mortal Kombat 2 which was way more realistic with better fighting.

ER:

To be honest, the show actually gave me a new respect for doctors. I always just knew the whole save-people's-lives aspect, I never knew that they played dress-up or surfed on the wheeled bed things.

Kangaroo Jack:

In conclusion, if this movie is how I imagine it, then it will be sooooo good. You always see kangaroos with boxing gloves punching things, but you never get to see one get a taste of it's own medicine.

The Beatles - The White Album:

...is just a white cover that says The Beatles and has a number on it---a bunch of zeroes and then 1022. Is that the name of the record? Who cares. Alright, it's 2 records long and once again, there will not be any kind of stereo sound to it because this old relic is in...you guessed it, mono. You DO know what stereo is, right dad?...I'm going to color in the white cover with a sharpie to fool my dad. LOL! Okay, marker-caps off, put the swingy thing on the record...

The Polar Bear (book):

I am fascinated by these fearsome creatures. I can't really relate to wild animals that are not found on my own continent, because there is just no chance that I would ever encounter one. Polar-Bears on the other hand can be found in Alaska and Canada. I live on the same continent as those places.

Lulz!11...?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: This almost HAS to be a joke. - [info]narcissam, 2005-08-09 06:38 am UTC
Re: This almost HAS to be a joke. - (Anonymous), 2005-08-10 11:48 pm UTC
Oh, no he didn't!
[info]sashenka
2005-08-09 04:34 am UTC (link)
Harrison Ford *is* Han Solo. *headesk* Yes, Episodes 1 and 2 weren't that great... but get the hellover it... Personally, I think watching that whiny twit's body partially melt as his limbs were cut off was emotionally rewarding and more than made up for the existance of Jarjar. XD I just realized how dorky I am.

(Reply to this)


redwarrior
2005-08-10 12:00 am UTC (link)
Oy, so batshit.

I bet you that someplace he'll bring "I HAVE ASPERGER'S OMG!!!1!" into this somehow...

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2005-08-10 01:01 am UTC (link)
Whoa.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2005-08-16 10:06 am UTC (link)
He reposted this shit to fangirls_sw too, I wasn't sure whether to laugh or encourage him to end his life in the quickest way possible. He also loves the books so much that he can't spell the character names for shit.

http://www.livejournal.com/community/fangirls_sw/54091.html

(Reply to this)


[info]kalindi
2005-08-16 03:01 pm UTC (link)
Howard complains in his LJ that no one understands him:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/howardtuttleman/6161.html

Excerpt-

". People are complaining about MY choices of who I envisioned as the Main-Characters. I mentioned I saw myself as Luke, and Patrick Swayze as Han, etc. What you ALL are failing to realize is that I was NEVER insinuating that YOU people should see it that way! You can view yourself as one of the characters. You can en-vision someone you don't like as a villian. IT DOESN'T MATTER. What I'm getting at is that if you read the BOOKS, you have a chance to see whatever you WANT! My thought-dreams were just one person's OPINION. It would be really FLATTERING if you envisioned me as Luke, and all of the rest, but I NEVER tried to get people to think like that." [Bolding is mine]

A living Gary Stu. That explains everything.

(Reply to this)

  
   
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