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Who knew Armageddon could be so barbecue-tasty ([info]mistressrenet) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2005-08-17 12:11:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Flippant

The best wanks? The ones where everyone looks stupid.
[info]celinafairy posts a fairly terrible Draco Malfoy/Artemis Fowl story to [info]artemisfowl_fic on LJ.

[info]linwenilid is not amused. She (?) has some good points, but they get a little lost, what with the homophobia and foaming at the mouth. Later she explains she thought she was on a spork community. Okay!

At least one of Celina's friends show up and a good time is had by all.

A small wank, but tasty.

Me? I don't think Artemis would waste ten seconds on Draco Malfoy. But I'm biased. ;-)




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[info]skarrow
2005-08-17 07:38 pm UTC (link)
Where have you seen a homosexual with a badass attitude like his?

...............................................................................................................................................
To Linwelid, I leave NOT a boot to the head, but a rabid tasmanian devil to be stuffed down her? trousers.

--

I'm sorry, all her credibility points just got lost there. Can't use'm, they don't work here. And her 'I thought this was a spork community' is such bullshit that she actually descends into negative credibility points. Sorry, better luck next time.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-08-17 07:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]skarrow, 2005-08-17 07:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-18 04:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]llama_treats, 2005-08-17 08:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]skarrow, 2005-08-17 09:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2005-08-17 08:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nebbieq, 2005-08-17 10:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2005-08-17 10:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]big_bad_wolf, 2005-08-18 05:08 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-18 11:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]big_bad_wolf, 2005-08-19 01:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]skarrow, 2005-08-17 11:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - thebitingfaery, 2005-08-18 11:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]selene_avis, 2005-08-18 09:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]skarrow, 2005-08-18 10:34 pm UTC

[info]selenis
2005-08-17 07:47 pm UTC (link)
Mother of God! That is a whole lot of tl;dr.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]scootermcgaffin, 2005-08-17 08:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]selenis, 2005-08-17 08:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mucktron, 2005-08-17 08:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2005-08-17 08:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-08-17 08:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2005-08-17 08:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-08-17 09:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2005-08-17 09:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-17 08:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-17 08:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dark_puck, 2005-08-19 08:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-08-17 08:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]selenis, 2005-08-17 08:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-08-17 08:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]iczer6, 2005-08-17 10:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]selenis, 2005-08-17 10:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]selenis, 2005-08-17 11:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]selene_avis, 2005-08-17 09:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2005-08-18 12:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2005-08-18 04:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2005-08-18 06:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mucktron, 2005-08-18 09:26 am UTC
HDM - (Anonymous), 2005-08-18 04:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2005-08-18 11:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-19 11:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mucktron, 2005-08-22 09:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2005-08-23 12:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mucktron, 2005-08-23 08:56 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-20 04:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_wanlorn, 2005-08-17 08:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-18 03:46 am UTC

[info]nekoama
2005-08-17 07:53 pm UTC (link)
Wow.

I'm just amazed that there's someone else in the world with my sister's name/spelling of.
My poor sister.

(Reply to this)


[info]the_wanlorn
2005-08-17 07:54 pm UTC (link)
This is possibly the first time I've ever said this and been serious, but tl;dr. Holy crap. Who has that kind of time on their hands??

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-08-17 08:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_wanlorn, 2005-08-17 08:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-08-17 08:13 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-08-17 07:58 pm UTC (link)
So the problem is that Draco and Artemis don't act like nancing pansies and that she's too much of a 'purist' to read the fanfiction?

It's a wonder she's involved in any fandoms at all; you'd think she'd be too short on time, what with all those five-comment reviews she'd have to leave to all those fics with any hint of a lack of realism.

-- st_tabularasa

(Reply to this)


[info]o_o
2005-08-17 07:59 pm UTC (link)
And you have all the right. I don't know as many homosexuals as to make a good judgement of what they look like (I think I said that already).
[snipsnip]
But I refuse to think those characters as gay because I've read the books. Neither author has given clues to that, and I can only stick to what's written.


"Malfoy walked in the Great Hall, looking distinctly like a homosexual would. Indeed, he had the two arms every heterosexual has been given, and a third one to better grab a man's cock with the intention to perform oral sex..."

Also, did she type all of that in 20 minutes?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-08-17 08:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]scootermcgaffin, 2005-08-17 08:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nebbieq, 2005-08-17 10:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]_bellisima, 2005-08-17 11:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankismyfandom, 2005-08-18 02:37 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-18 03:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankismyfandom, 2005-08-18 07:49 am UTC

(Deleted post)
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-17 08:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]skarrow, 2005-08-17 09:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]angstymcgoth, 2005-08-17 09:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-08-17 10:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]angstymcgoth, 2005-08-17 10:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]skarrow, 2005-08-17 10:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-18 03:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2005-08-18 12:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosina_alcona, 2005-08-18 02:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2005-08-18 02:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosina_alcona, 2005-08-18 02:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2005-08-18 02:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosina_alcona, 2005-08-18 02:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2005-08-18 02:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosina_alcona, 2005-08-18 03:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2005-08-18 03:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosina_alcona, 2005-08-18 03:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2005-08-18 03:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosina_alcona, 2005-08-18 05:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2005-08-18 05:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosina_alcona, 2005-08-18 05:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2005-08-18 05:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosina_alcona, 2005-08-18 05:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2005-08-18 05:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]i_luv_fw, 2005-08-19 11:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]toxictattoo, 2005-08-18 12:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cellardoor28, 2005-08-18 12:18 am UTC

(Deleted post)
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-18 01:37 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-18 03:52 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-18 04:02 pm UTC

[info]shakeandbake
2005-08-17 08:19 pm UTC (link)
But I'm not. Sorry, but aside from my liking of the Fowlverse just as it is, I am a Potterverse purist.

I guess that explains why she reads fanfiction.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]marks, 2005-08-17 09:49 pm UTC

[info]aaron_agonistes
2005-08-17 08:32 pm UTC (link)
Your narration is pretty clear and, given that your first language isn't English, you manage to convey the meaning in your sentences in an excellent way.

Me and my copy of Strunk & White're going to be over here in the corner giggling for a bit.

(Reply to this)


[info]phosfate
2005-08-17 08:50 pm UTC (link)
South America? Gay. Totally the gayest continent. Just look at the way it dangles shamelessly down toward the blatantly rectal Antarctica!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2005-08-17 10:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ianthefira, 2005-08-17 10:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-17 10:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]renata_hpjc, 2005-08-18 12:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]amxjm, 2005-08-18 12:09 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-18 12:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]amxjm, 2005-08-18 12:25 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-18 01:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2005-08-19 05:31 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-26 09:55 pm UTC

(Deleted post)
(no subject) - [info]tronella, 2005-08-18 04:30 pm UTC

(Deleted post)
(no subject) - [info]tronella, 2005-08-18 04:44 pm UTC

[info]chaimonkey
2005-08-17 09:20 pm UTC (link)
What's great is that she's using an icon from one of the gayest animes this side of the pacific - and I mean that completely in the sense of homosexual, canon pairings.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]scootermcgaffin, 2005-08-17 09:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chaimonkey, 2005-08-17 09:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-18 02:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sir_hellsing, 2005-08-18 05:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]daromaius, 2005-08-18 05:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]blackjackrocket, 2005-08-18 05:57 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-18 11:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-18 03:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chaimonkey, 2005-08-18 04:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sir_hellsing, 2005-08-18 05:05 am UTC

[info]selene_avis
2005-08-17 09:36 pm UTC (link)
I'm convinced that Artemis is asexual. But where do people get hot from?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-08-17 09:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]selene_avis, 2005-08-17 09:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-08-17 10:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]selene_avis, 2005-08-18 12:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_terrific, 2005-08-18 01:38 am UTC
(no subject) - cicer, 2005-08-18 05:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]big_bad_wolf, 2005-08-18 05:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-08-18 12:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nights_mistress, 2005-08-18 03:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]selene_avis, 2005-08-18 06:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nights_mistress, 2005-08-18 06:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-08-18 01:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]loony666, 2005-08-20 12:23 pm UTC

[info]angstymcgoth
2005-08-17 09:46 pm UTC (link)
Hell would freeze before the only heir of the Malfoy family would stick to such untraditional behaviour

Whoa, she must be new or something, not to mention the books.

And mature!Artemis/Butler is the best thing ever, especially since I've always (peculiarly enough) pictured Butler as Vin Diesel and Artemis as Ed Furlong. Mmm.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-08-17 10:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]angstymcgoth, 2005-08-17 10:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-08-17 10:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]angstymcgoth, 2005-08-17 10:36 pm UTC

[info]kookaburra
2005-08-17 09:58 pm UTC (link)
Huh. The only un-assimilated people from South America I've met in the USA are Argentinian polo players, and if they are representative of the populace, well, how do I put this, I can see where her worldview came from. With those guys (the polo players) machismo is everything.

But she's still an ass.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sir_hellsing, 2005-08-18 05:12 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-18 06:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sir_hellsing, 2005-08-18 04:04 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-08-17 10:40 pm UTC (link)
Me? I don't think Artemis would waste ten seconds on Draco Malfoy. But I'm biased. ;-)

Besides, Draco is too busy fucking Harry.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-17 11:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-17 11:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-17 11:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ruby_tuesday, 2005-08-18 01:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ruby_tuesday, 2005-08-18 01:18 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-18 03:43 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-18 07:51 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-17 11:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladyrogue, 2005-08-19 09:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]loony666, 2005-08-20 12:25 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-08-17 10:46 pm UTC (link)
Damn, that's a whole lot of frothing!

(Reply to this)


[info]nebbieq
2005-08-17 10:51 pm UTC (link)
You know, we don't even need the wank. I gave in and read the fanfic, and it's funny enough on its own.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2005-08-17 11:16 pm UTC (link)
“I…” he croaked, than cleared his throat. “I really, really hope that this was a joke,” he finally managed to get out in between sharp intakes of breath.



That sums it up nicely.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2005-08-17 11:29 pm UTC (link)
Although she is mostly an idiotic asshat who...really doesn't like slash (but she's from SOUTH AMERICA, so it's understandable, right) she does have a point when she says that the fic was simply taking two totally different characters and pasting Draco Malfoy and Artemis Fowl's names on them. It was horridly OOC. There was no build-up towards their little kiss. Is Artemis Fowl not what you would call a muggle? Sorry, but Draco snogging a muggle needs a bit more explanation than 'Oh, two other boys kissing, I'm horny.' Why the fuck is Artemis Fowl even IN Hogwarts castle? And really, I thought it was Harry that was the one obsessed with stalking Draco's whereabouts and not the other way around.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]annabelle_lee, 2005-08-17 11:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]toxictattoo, 2005-08-18 12:19 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-18 12:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]annabelle_lee, 2005-08-18 06:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gorogoro, 2005-08-18 03:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]annabelle_lee, 2005-08-18 06:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]xero_sky, 2005-08-18 06:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]annabelle_lee, 2005-08-18 09:15 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-20 04:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gorogoro, 2005-08-18 06:55 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-18 02:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-08-18 03:30 pm UTC

[info]annabelle_lee
2005-08-18 12:00 am UTC (link)
Hmm, I see two idiots here. From what I know of Celina Fairy, she couldn't write a decent story in any fandom if there was a gun to her head and is one of those wankers too lazy/stupid/full of self/inept to find a beta to make her stories readable. But damn, linwenilid just loves to bring the stupid. I feel sorry for the South Americans who have her in their continent.

Oh, who to call on stupidity...who to call. Ah, forget it. I'm going back to reading Death Note.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-18 06:16 am UTC

[info]schtroumph_c
2005-08-18 12:18 am UTC (link)
Category: Crossover, Slash
Pairings: Draco/Artemis, background Harry/Ron
Rating: R going on NC-17
Warnings: PWP, Chara-OOC, slash, major kissin'. Intermission of another fanfic I've written, so there might be some plot-holes.


If she read the disclaimer, what did linwenilid expected? How could she be suprised by the slash? Or the OOC?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2005-08-18 12:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]judyhazeleyes, 2005-08-18 01:59 am UTC
(no subject) - bankai, 2005-08-18 05:43 am UTC

[info]theladyfeylene
2005-08-18 12:23 am UTC (link)
Wow, the next time I don't know something I'll just blame it on being a stupid American. Because that's not a lazy cop-out that promotes stereotypes or anything.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - bankai, 2005-08-18 05:44 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-08-18 01:18 am UTC (link)
I will forever think of Artemis as from the Oscar series which is how old now?

*Shudders* Transgender human and a cat. What the hell?!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]blackjackrocket, 2005-08-18 06:01 am UTC

[info]adora_spintriae
2005-08-18 02:36 am UTC (link)
and my problems do not start on the homosexuality issue,

Of course it is, darling. And that's why your first words in your reply are, "Aaaaaargh! Ick! Ewww! I'm not into boi love, so imagine my surprise. What is the matter with people seeing Artemis and Draco like gay people?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]speshulduck, 2005-08-18 08:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-08-18 01:15 pm UTC

[info]sir_hellsing
2005-08-18 05:17 am UTC (link)
Her South American excuse is quite valid, sad as it is. I don't know how works in Ecuador but in my country (Argentina) the mindset and cultural uprising is to validate the wrongness of homosexuality. I always get weird looks from my family, friends, co workers and (most of my) professors when I defend the gay movement.

Even so, she’s using icons from an Anime in which great amount of the cast is canonically bisexual, homosexual or into incest (and the dub version was faithfully translated here!), so I can’t take the wanker seriously.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-08-18 03:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sir_hellsing, 2005-08-18 03:55 pm UTC



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