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Lurker #32 ([info]lurker32) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2005-08-31 16:24:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:On Top of the World

Fanficrants Double: "Cower, Prepubescent Fangirl!" plus "Geography Is Serious Business"
zelia_theb leaves a nasty review for a grade-school fanfic writer, resulting in the story's deletion, and proceeds to crow about it on fanficrants.

There are a couple of approving comments before the general population smacks her down. Zelia doesn't get what the problem is, since:

It's not the reaction I cared about, but the correction of my name...and moreso that a few awesome reviewers who care about fanfiction got the story to disappear.

Oh, you brave crusader.

Meanwhile, in a hilariously random subthread:

mushroomhunterd: Well, heaven forbid she's from Queensland, but if she is then no, she wouldn't have been taught grammar at all.

kitesareevil: Okay, lemme know exactly where this is so that when I become a teacher, I'll never be there. It would only make me more bitter at our craptastic educational system.

mortifyd: That would be in Australia, you geographically challenged product of the craptastic Arizona educational system.

Conveniently, it transpires, mortifyd is an American raised in Europe, so s/he has a counterargument for everyone who suggests s/he grow a thicker hide.

Almost two days this time. Keep trying, fanficrants. You'll beat your record eventually.




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(Post a new comment)


(Anonymous)
2005-08-31 10:48 pm UTC (link)
woe be the day they survive a week without wank.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 04:57 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 05:32 pm UTC

[info]skarrow
2005-08-31 10:51 pm UTC (link)
Somnabulicious wins the internet for today.

"-While I'm sure the existence of this badfic was HORRIBLY DETRIMENTAL to the fandom - perhaps sneaking into the fandom's house at night and stealing all its shiny things, or raping its dog -"

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2005-08-31 10:58 pm UTC (link)
Psst! Zelia_theb is also the mod of this delightful community: http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=ff_revolution. It's mission is apparently "decreasing the amount of trash-fiction out there, and paving the way for good fandom". She must be new.

- mousie who'd give her right paw (do mouses have paws?) to be able to make proper links

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-31 11:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-31 11:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jetamors, 2005-08-31 11:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-31 11:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]apoplexia, 2005-08-31 11:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]white_serpent, 2005-08-31 11:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 12:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]white_serpent, 2005-09-01 12:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pyratejenni, 2005-09-01 01:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sarajayechan, 2005-08-31 11:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sarajayechan, 2005-08-31 11:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kosaginolegion, 2005-09-01 01:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sarajayechan, 2005-09-01 03:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kosaginolegion, 2005-09-01 03:29 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-31 11:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-31 11:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hangingfire, 2005-08-31 11:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hristaesir, 2005-09-01 03:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]provetheworst, 2005-09-01 03:53 am UTC

[info]pet
2005-08-31 11:14 pm UTC (link)
For someone who is so proud of her scathing reviews, zelia_theb sure does make a lot of grammar, construction, spelling and punctuation errors. I mean, don't get me wrong, there are stories out there that make my eyes bleed, so I can sorta/kinda understand her pain (though I don't consider it my job to scare the wee badficwriters off the internets, nor would I ever, ever want to. I am an active proponent of the Don't Like Don't Read philosophy). But if you're going to flame a writer, if you're going to set up a community to eradicate crap fiction, if you're going to start strutting around showing off your nasty reviews? You'd better be a hardcore rock-solid old-style grammar STAR, baby, because otherwise you're just going to look like a fucking idiot.

Which she does.

(Reply to this)


[info]alpheratz
2005-08-31 11:17 pm UTC (link)
As a citizen of a country where xenophobic ragging on other people's education is a national sport, could I just mention how much I hate attitudes like this?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]pet, 2005-09-01 12:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]marlo, 2005-09-01 01:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]alpheratz, 2005-09-01 04:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mortifyd, 2005-09-01 04:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]alpheratz, 2005-09-01 04:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mortifyd, 2005-09-01 04:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]moonjaguar, 2005-09-01 08:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mortifyd, 2005-09-01 08:21 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 04:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 06:05 pm UTC
Death by Semicolons
[info]wildelamassu
2005-08-31 11:18 pm UTC (link)
Here's an excerpt from one of the flamer's own peerless, masterly goodfics over on the Pit o' Voles:

He recalled seeing her there once, letting another boy push her on the swing. He became so angry that she wasn't playing with him; so jealous that he calle the mysterious boy a 'stupid-jerk' ten times over. Eventually the boy cried, and shoved him; to which he shoved back in retaliation. He was the tough kid; he was the won who played on the swing; and he was her friend! Oh, she was so mad that she cried too! But a slice of her family's famous strawberry cake fixed all of that. Thinking back, he realized that the boy was his old classmate; no wonder the kid always fought him!

...I'm not sure I would be as confident in handing out writing criticism as she seems to be.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Death by Semicolons - [info]angstymcgoth, 2005-08-31 11:46 pm UTC
Re: Death by Semicolons - [info]wildelamassu, 2005-09-01 03:42 pm UTC
Re: Death by Semicolons - [info]etcetera_cat, 2005-09-01 12:09 am UTC
Re: Death by Semicolons - [info]ianthefira, 2005-09-01 12:55 am UTC
Re: Death by Semicolons - [info]emlan, 2005-09-01 01:21 am UTC
Re: Death by Semicolons - [info]marlo, 2005-09-01 01:43 am UTC
Re: Death by Semicolons - [info]pyratejenni, 2005-09-01 02:30 am UTC
Re: Death by Semicolons - [info]nevadafighter, 2005-09-01 02:52 am UTC
Re: Death by Semicolons - [info]dawnswalker, 2005-09-01 03:35 am UTC
Re: Death by Semicolons - [info]nima_skysong, 2005-09-01 03:54 am UTC
THE WON! - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 05:56 am UTC
Re: Death by Semicolons - redwarrior, 2005-09-01 06:50 pm UTC
Late comment - [info]sarajayechan, 2005-09-06 10:10 pm UTC

fuzzy_ears
2005-08-31 11:20 pm UTC (link)
Zelia seriously needs to reexamine her priorities.

Oh, man, I just had a really scary thought: if Fanficrants and the Harmonians were to team up, the sun would probably explode.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]isobelsomething, 2005-09-01 01:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sarajayechan, 2005-09-01 03:21 am UTC

[info]mochibuni
2005-08-31 11:33 pm UTC (link)
So...what to blame for mortifyd's attitude: American society, European society, "real" education, mention of Queendsland, or flaming little girls? Or maybe JK Rowling oppressed them.

That's probably it.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2005-08-31 11:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 09:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2005-09-01 06:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 09:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-02 01:53 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-02 05:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]skarrow, 2005-08-31 11:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mortifyd, 2005-09-01 03:26 am UTC

[info]sarajayechan
2005-08-31 11:46 pm UTC (link)
I wanked. Couldn't help it. :P

(Reply to this)


[info]apoplexia
2005-08-31 11:51 pm UTC (link)
Wasn't there a moratorium on picking on Queensland? No? Oh good!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 12:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nights_mistress, 2005-09-01 12:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2005-09-01 12:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mortifyd, 2005-09-01 03:27 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 04:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2005-09-01 05:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lizbee, 2005-09-02 08:31 am UTC

tourette
2005-09-01 12:03 am UTC (link)
So what is the record, then? Just out of interest. I remember reading stuff from last year that suggested the community should have a little counter up - "Officially [2] days wank-free!"

Also, just to be a pedant, Mortifyd is one of the elusive F_W males.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]lurker32, 2005-09-01 12:21 am UTC

[info]the_wanlorn
2005-09-01 12:06 am UTC (link)
That would be in Australia, you geographically challenged product of the craptastic Arizona educational system.

Oh damn, I took that as a joke. According to the people who responded to it, I'm dead wrong. Damn! Curse you, broken Internet-Joke-Detector!

...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]xero_sky, 2005-09-01 12:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]spleen, 2005-09-01 12:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pyratejenni, 2005-09-01 02:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pet, 2005-09-01 12:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mortifyd, 2005-09-01 03:35 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 03:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mortifyd, 2005-09-01 07:27 pm UTC

[info]xero_sky
2005-09-01 12:10 am UTC (link)
Yeah and some people wank of wankers who were wanking over wankers and their wank!fics, but that doesn't really exclude my wankage of your wank or Zelia_Theb's wankage over a fanterd's wank!fics and the world is just caught up in one big wank orgy.

Help. I'm blinded by altar_of_wishes' sparkling wit.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]nima_skysong, 2005-09-01 03:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2005-09-01 05:24 am UTC
(no subject) - redwarrior, 2005-09-01 06:52 pm UTC

[info]firebad
2005-09-01 12:16 am UTC (link)
Oh, hey now. I'm a primary school teacher in Brisbane, Queensland. We do too so totally like teach the grammer and spling to kids.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]nights_mistress, 2005-09-01 12:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2005-09-01 12:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nights_mistress, 2005-09-01 12:30 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 02:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nights_mistress, 2005-09-01 02:29 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 04:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]firebad, 2005-09-01 12:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2005-09-01 12:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]firebad, 2005-09-01 12:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2005-09-01 12:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]firebad, 2005-09-01 12:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2005-09-01 12:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2005-09-01 01:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2005-09-01 02:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2005-09-01 02:23 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 06:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nights_mistress, 2005-09-01 12:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]firebad, 2005-09-01 12:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]adora_spintriae, 2005-09-01 03:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nights_mistress, 2005-09-01 03:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]adora_spintriae, 2005-09-01 03:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nights_mistress, 2005-09-01 03:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]adora_spintriae, 2005-09-01 03:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2005-09-01 03:33 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 04:08 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 04:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kijikun, 2005-09-01 05:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lizbee, 2005-09-02 08:37 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-04 01:12 pm UTC

[info]gal_montag
2005-09-01 12:20 am UTC (link)
I went and wanked. But let me add that I envy people who actually learned grammar in 1st grade, because, and I kid you not, I didn't really until college.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]the_wanlorn, 2005-09-01 12:55 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 01:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gal_montag, 2005-09-01 01:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tardis, 2005-09-01 02:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gal_montag, 2005-09-01 02:43 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-02 02:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nevadafighter, 2005-09-01 02:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gal_montag, 2005-09-01 03:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nevadafighter, 2005-09-01 03:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gal_montag, 2005-09-01 03:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2005-09-01 06:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gal_montag, 2005-09-01 10:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gal_montag, 2005-09-01 03:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nevadafighter, 2005-09-01 03:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hristaesir, 2005-09-01 03:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sarracenia, 2005-09-01 03:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]annabelle_lee, 2005-09-01 05:34 am UTC
(no subject) - ealusaid, 2005-09-01 07:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]big_bad_wolf, 2005-09-02 08:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gal_montag, 2005-09-02 08:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]big_bad_wolf, 2005-09-02 08:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]elzezuk, 2005-09-03 01:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gal_montag, 2005-09-03 01:42 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-03 10:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]twoiskewl, 2005-09-04 10:49 pm UTC

[info]pope_shane
2005-09-01 12:25 am UTC (link)
Dear Wank,

The Pope of The Internet is from Queensland. Do NOT, I repeat, NOT ever mention my home state in your lame ass wanks again. You don't want a pissed off Pope on your ass.

kthxbi,
The Pope of The Internets.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]gun, 2005-09-01 12:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pope_shane, 2005-09-01 12:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]firebad, 2005-09-01 12:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pope_shane, 2005-09-01 12:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]firebad, 2005-09-01 12:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pope_shane, 2005-09-01 12:41 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 04:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]redjackcash, 2005-09-01 06:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2005-09-01 12:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nights_mistress, 2005-09-01 12:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]firebad, 2005-09-01 12:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pope_shane, 2005-09-01 12:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]firebad, 2005-09-01 12:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pope_shane, 2005-09-01 12:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]firebad, 2005-09-01 12:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pope_shane, 2005-09-01 12:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]firebad, 2005-09-01 12:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pope_shane, 2005-09-01 12:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nights_mistress, 2005-09-01 12:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pope_shane, 2005-09-01 12:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nights_mistress, 2005-09-01 01:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nights_mistress, 2005-09-01 12:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]adora_spintriae, 2005-09-01 02:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]minibalrogmum, 2005-09-01 04:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]endoftime, 2005-09-01 05:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 12:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2005-09-01 12:44 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 03:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nights_mistress, 2005-09-01 03:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2005-09-01 03:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]firebad, 2005-09-01 03:53 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 06:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]adora_spintriae, 2005-09-01 02:56 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 04:05 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 05:05 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 05:17 am UTC

[info]nights_mistress
2005-09-01 12:37 am UTC (link)
Well, to be fair, when I went through the state school system in Queensland, we never learnt how to construct a sentence. This might explain my utterly appalling grammar, given that I still haven't learned (formally) how to structure a sentence. So far, it's entirely through osmosis. I think the curriculum has changed, though, since when I went through, given that my mother teaches it to her kids whenever possible and she's a recent graduate.

That said, we really are twenty years (and in some months of the year, one hour!) behind the other states on the eastern seaboard. It comes from us having one year less than everyone else, our education system dealing with all sorts of interesting issues (including the overabundance of asbestos in our schools! Hooray!) and the fact that there are graduate teachers out there who believe that the word 'genre' should be used 25 times in a 66 word sentence.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-01 01:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nights_mistress, 2005-09-01 01:21 pm UTC

[info]misswindy
2005-09-01 01:39 am UTC (link)
[info]zelia_theb acts like that poor kid wrote the badfic just to piss her off.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]omega, 2005-09-01 05:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]misswindy, 2005-09-01 05:48 pm UTC

[info]made_by_kali
2005-09-01 02:44 am UTC (link)
must...not...wank...

The last idiot who posted on fanficrants about their flaming abilities got shot down pretty hard too. At least we have some sense.

(Reply to this)


[info]adora_spintriae
2005-09-01 02:56 am UTC (link)
HAY LEAVE MY STATE OUT OF THIS! Only I'm allowed to say it sucks cos I live here, damnit!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]gun, 2005-09-01 03:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]adora_spintriae, 2005-09-01 03:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nights_mistress, 2005-09-01 03:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]adora_spintriae, 2005-09-01 03:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2005-09-01 03:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nights_mistress, 2005-09-01 03:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2005-09-01 03:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nights_mistress, 2005-09-01 03:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2005-09-01 03:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nights_mistress, 2005-09-01 03:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2005-09-01 03:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]adora_spintriae, 2005-09-01 03:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nights_mistress, 2005-09-01 03:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2005-09-01 03:29 am UTC

lonesomepudding
2005-09-01 03:26 am UTC (link)
I haven't read the topic yet... not a part of this wank.

Just adding that Arizona does, indeed, have a craptastic educational system. If I appear to be "smart" in any way, it's because of learning/reading I did in my spare time 'cause I was a nerd.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ladybirdsleeps, 2005-09-01 06:04 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-09-01 03:36 am UTC (link)
I loved 'Thank you for killing the Japanese language by typing "ningenkai" instead of "Ningenkai".' It must have been frustrating not having any actual mistaken Japanese to mock.

Remember, kids: MISCAPITALISATION KILLS JAPANESE.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]narcissam, 2005-09-01 03:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nima_skysong, 2005-09-01 04:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_arel, 2005-09-01 06:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]heddychaa, 2005-09-01 07:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]azhidahaki, 2005-09-01 07:39 am UTC

[info]elektra3
2005-09-01 03:42 am UTC (link)
The only surprising thing about this wank is that fanficrants hasn't yet chafed itself raw. Also, I now know more about the Queensland educational system than I ever expected to learn.

Fandom Wank: So educational!

(Reply to this)


[info]dawnswalker
2005-09-01 03:43 am UTC (link)
Man, I scrolled right past that, thinking it was just another rant about how reviewers should- no, must review the ranter's fanfiction in the most comprehensive (yet succint) manner possible, outlining each and every little nuance of the fic...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]nightwalker, 2005-09-01 05:31 am UTC
Aw crap, I've been misspelling "Zelia" for years. Why didn't someone tell me?
[info]lovelyzelda
2005-09-01 05:21 am UTC (link)
"I am ignoring Zelia Theb who should know that I have been in learning support for English all my life she can’t even spell Zelda right!"
[...]
You weren't even born when The Legend of Zelda was released


Maybe I'm a bit slow, but I have no idea how these two things are connected. At all.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Aw crap, I've been misspelling "Zelia" for years. Why didn't someone tell me? - [info]kannaophelia, 2005-09-01 06:51 am UTC


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