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	(Anonymous) 2005-09-01 04:42 am UTC (link)
	It's "coherent". (Reply to this)(Thread)

	mariagoner 2005-09-01 01:11 pm UTC (link)
	Oops! Duly noted and corrected, thanks! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	mister_terrific 2005-09-01 04:45 am UTC (link)
	I'm sorry. Babelfish doesn't have a "Ninny To English" translation function. Mister Terrific Defender de la "Fair Play" (Reply to this)(Thread)

	mariagoner 2005-09-01 01:18 pm UTC (link)
	Must not make a joke about the French-to-English translation, must not make a joke about the French-to-English translation, must not... (Reply to this)(Parent)

	the_wanlorn 2005-09-01 04:57 am UTC (link)
	Periods, godsbedamned, periods! They're not just for women and they don't appear just once a month! Somebody needs to teach that person to use periods. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	mistal 2005-09-01 01:14 pm UTC (link)
	Someone should also teach that person to use the letter between "t" and "u" and the one between "i" and "p" when they use the letter "u", that way it makes a very nice "you". (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	the_wanlorn 2005-09-01 05:05 pm UTC (link)
	Damn, I spent, like, five minutes trying to figure out what came between "T" and "U" in the alphabet because I was pretty damn certain that they were right next to each other. Or that I was crazy. But, right, the "Y" and the "O" on the keyboard. I'm good at connect-the-dots, I swear. ;-) (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mistal 2005-09-02 02:33 am UTC (link)
	oops! Maybe I should have said on the keyboard...^^ (Reply to this)(Parent)

	(Anonymous) 2005-09-06 09:50 pm UTC (link)
	OK, you confused me quite thoroughly there for a moment - until I remembered that it's only the German keyboard where following your receipt results in a golden-brown, exquisite "zou". (Reply to this)(Parent)

	(Anonymous) 2005-09-01 05:12 am UTC (link)
	Godamnit! I need those braincells for my homework. . .;.; (Reply to this)

	annabelle_lee 2005-09-01 05:53 am UTC (link)
	The fuck? No sir, I'm afraid we don't speak moron here. You'll have to go to the tall brick building down the street, you know, the one with the ambulances? Yeah, go there and ask for a lobotomy. That's L-O-B-O-T-O-M-Y. Okay? (Reply to this)(Thread)

	gloria_mundi 2005-09-01 06:17 am UTC (link)
	And then they'll mess it up and ask for "La Bolonga" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mister_terrific 2005-09-01 05:17 pm UTC (link)
	Or "My Sharona". Mister Terrific Defender of Fair Play (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	gloria_mundi 2005-09-03 03:46 pm UTC (link)
	Or La Bamba (Reply to this)(Parent)

issendai
2005-09-01 06:16 am UTC (link)

I confess: I can't tell which one is supposed to be anorexic and which one is supposed to be normal.

But that is neither here nor there.

ALL YOU PEOPLE ARE TYPICAL.. YOU KNOW DARK BROWN EYES...DARK HAIR...THAT IS WHY YOU HATING...

Because everyone knows that only blondes are pretty, and that only rich celebrities can buy blonde hair dye.

OLSENS CAN PROLLY BUY N SELL A MILLION OF YOU HERBS.

Is there some piece of slang I'm missing here? Or is this an oblique reference to the story of the nymph Menthe, whom Persephone turned into a sprig of mint in a fit of jealousy when she caught Hades going, "Yo, check out my chariot, hot nymph babe"?

Teenagers are frighteningly erudite these days.

thr r 104 kys n th kybrd plz fl fre 2 uz thm al luv 2 al my ppz @ th pblc edgUkshn sstm

Rachel wins.

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	prettypinkkitty 2005-09-01 06:39 am UTC (link)
	The one who is a walking skeleton, aka her legs actually do look like bones and she wears leggings to show this off, is the anorexic one. The one who is a walking skeleton with a little more weight, aka the blonder one, is the "normal one." (Reply to this)(Parent)

	hickorydickory 2005-09-02 07:34 pm UTC (link)
	What... what the hell does that mean? Ukshn sstm!? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Translation: issendai 2005-09-02 08:13 pm UTC (link)
	"There are 104 keys on the keyboard. Please feel free to use them all. Love to all my peeps at the public education system." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Translation: hickorydickory 2005-09-04 11:02 pm UTC (link)
	Whoa. You're good. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Translation: issendai 2005-09-05 04:13 pm UTC (link)
	Blame too much reading of the real thing. (Reply to this)(Parent)

theladyfeylene
2005-09-01 07:16 am UTC (link)

Wow. I am confused. By their logic, because I'm attractive and have a social life and am not poor.... I can't dislike the Olsen Twins? Since only poor people who dress badly and are fat and lonely and... um, dark haired hate the Olsen Twins?

The Olsen twins are fucking scary looking. I'm attracted to women, but there's no way in hell I could get turned on by either of them.

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	lizzypaul 2005-09-01 09:46 am UTC (link)
	Well since they look like ten year old girls... I must confess, I get a little creeped out when I hear people talk about how hot they are. Ew. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	maev_connacht 2005-09-01 04:02 pm UTC (link)
	I don't think they ever quite grew into their heads. I think they look creepy and monkey-like. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	wildelamassu 2005-09-01 06:19 pm UTC (link)
	Snarky Maniac Mansion icons win the internet. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	deus_ex_tardis 2005-09-01 07:31 am UTC (link)
	Vapid twits, Your profound lack of a rudimentary command of the English language detracts from your “ZOMG! UR JUST JELOUS” argument. I weep for the future of humankind. (Reply to this)

	(Anonymous) 2005-09-01 07:45 am UTC (link)
	dear Olsen Twins, I like you Olsen Twins You feirnd Jessica Hahn This one's my favorite. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	jat_sapphire 2005-09-01 01:51 pm UTC (link)
	sniff I knew somebody would post that before I did. But yes, my fave too. I'm sure the Olsens are immensely comforted. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	maev_connacht 2005-09-01 04:04 pm UTC (link)
	That one caused some serious emergency laugh-stifling on my part. I feel that would be seen as insensitive today, as I am currently in my cubicle at work, and the people around me are doing some kind of telethon for the Gulf Coast. So hysterical laughter? Probably bad. (Reply to this)(Parent)

amand_r
2005-09-01 08:03 am UTC (link)

They r great peeps u no they dont have to be at the adward shows if they dont want to they do it for other pepol so they are happy think of what they want to do maybe the want to go fishing but they cant unless there pics get taken or they have to go to a live show or somthin so let them be!!!

Ashley and Mary Kate: They are great peeps, you know. Maybe they do just want to go fishing.

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judyhazeleyes
2005-09-01 09:05 am UTC (link)

I am no more jealous of Mary Kate and Ashley's bones than I am of Ashlee Simpson's stunning vocal abilities, Hilary Duff's fine acting skills, Lindsay Lohan's... whatever she does, or Paris Hilton's cunt-flashing prowess. The 'ur just jelluz' argument has to be the most idiotic I've ever seen, especially considering it's most often used in relation to people who really don't have much to be jealous of.

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mariagoner
2005-09-01 01:22 pm UTC (link)

Lindsay Lohan used to have a rather enviable rack... too bad that's wasted away from god knows what sort of substances she injects in her body or powders her nose with. ;_;

But more than anything, I suppose we "haterz!" are supposed to be jealous of the sheer fact that we're not as rich or as pretty or as famous (talent rarely comes into play here!) as all these celebrities we supposedly are having shit-fits over. Never mind that quite a few of us would probably never want to trade it our average lives for a tabloid-cover-to-cover E! Hollywood story in the making...

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	kraken_sleeps 2005-09-01 02:24 pm UTC (link)
	According to pics in Heat (oh-so-reliable rolls eyes) the rack is back. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	greenglass 2005-09-01 04:15 pm UTC (link)
	Oh Lindsey, you were so hot as a hot red head with nice breasts. Now you are just scary. single tear! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mariagoner 2005-09-02 01:00 am UTC (link)
	Oh, word. I still tear up a little to think of how hot she was in the Mean Girl days versus what she turned into now. That firey red hair... that perfect, adorably freckly pale skin... that amazing bust... oh, coke is cruel in people so young, isn't it?! http://www.meangirls.com/downloads/wallpapers/cady1280.jpg (Reply to this)(Parent)

nima_skysong
2005-09-01 09:50 am UTC (link)

I am ashamed for these people, since they clearly aren't ashamed of themselves. When did spelling, grammar, and sanity become taboo on the internets? Why didn't I get that memo?
Some examples of CrazyFanBitch language that really hurt my brain:
crule (is that like a mini-cruller? sounds kinda tasty!)
misirable (My name is Jean Valjean and I can't spell)
adolescense (Smells like teen spirit? No, that's the stench of poo.)
adward (...in the direction of advertising?)
And of course the many tortured spellings of "jealous."
[headdesk] Thank you and goodnight.

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	kimera 2005-09-01 11:41 am UTC (link)
	I don't know about you (or should that be "u"?), but if my eyebrows had ears, I'd be a little disturbed =/ (Reply to this)(Thread)

	mariagoner 2005-09-01 01:25 pm UTC (link)
	Dude, they look like the latter-day daughters of Namor, king of the Sea. Maybe Sue Storm had an affair or two behind Reed's back that we didn't know about...? http://www.miskatonic.freeserve.co.uk/images/namor.jpg (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	bubosquared 2005-09-01 04:28 pm UTC (link)
	Prince. Namor was the Prince of Atlantis. Um, not I've spend far too much time at s_o_g or anything ... (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mister_terrific 2005-09-01 05:20 pm UTC (link)
	He was a half-blood prince, too. Not too good at spells, though. His cries of "Imperius Rex!" never did amount to anything except excessive manly posturing. Mister Terrific Defender of Fair Play It all comes back to Potter sooner or later... (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	bubosquared 2005-09-01 05:50 pm UTC (link)
	Careful, you're feeding my X-Men-slash-general-Marvel-universe/HP crossover bunny. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	loopywafflehead 2005-09-01 12:44 pm UTC (link)
	I think it's very telling that every single defender of the twins cannot write a simple comment without spelling or grammatical errors. Not one post is free of mistakes. This is the best flame: YOU ALL FUKIN HATERS....LOL... I'm so glad they added the "lol", otherwise it might have been taken the wrong way. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	nima_skysong 2005-09-02 03:08 am UTC (link)
	I fell over laughing at your commentary. It made my day. [showers you with confetti] (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	loopywafflehead 2005-09-02 12:18 pm UTC (link)
	Oooh confetti! dances Thank you! I don't think I've been showered with confetti before, or made anyone fall over laughing. Your comment made me smile a lot, like this :D . Also, your icon is really cute. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	nima_skysong 2005-09-04 11:58 pm UTC (link)
	Why thank you! I make all my own icons. Yours also makes me happy. Snape has the shiniest hair evar. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	ultimate_cin 2005-09-01 01:14 pm UTC (link)
	Ive never seen so much jelousy on a single site in my life Yes, because everybody is SOOOO jealous of a set of twins that weigh about two pounds each, dress like bag ladies, and look like aliens because their heads are too big for their bodies and they insist on wearing those fucking huge-ass sunglasses that take up a good portion of their faces. headdesk (Reply to this)(Thread)

	maev_connacht 2005-09-01 04:10 pm UTC (link)
	You know, that's a fairly good description. Mine was always "monkeys that never grew into their heads." I think I like yours better. (Reply to this)(Parent)

bacchiguu
2005-09-01 03:04 pm UTC (link)

OMG!!!What da fuck m8?? da olsen twims r soooooo hot!r ye lik seriouse or r ye lik jealouse???dey r soo pretty nd hv good figures!!!nd wht da hell do ya mean da eyebrow luks fat?u know..skinny eyebrows is not in style anymore!ya fuckn retrds i bet ye r reeely fat bu yer eye brows r lik sticks or sumthin jus let tel u DAT MAKES U LUK FATTR!! dey r a bit short bu newayz......DEY R GORJUZZZZ!!!!! nd get a live hu evr made dis site...if ye h8 dem so much y bothr makn a site dats ALL abt dem??fuck retards,so ye r!!

What in the name of the nine hells does a person's girth have to do with eyebrows...?
My brain asploding from all the defunct logic, numbers, and vowels gone missing.

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	phosfate 2005-09-01 03:17 pm UTC (link)
	...I got nothin'. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	omnicrom 2005-09-02 11:19 am UTC (link)
	You don't need anything for these people. (Reply to this)(Parent)