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NM ([info]narcissam) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2005-09-04 16:01:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
The Systematic Assassination of Hermione Granger - Harmonian Wank. Of course.
After depressing myself reading the news, it occured to me that there might be something amusing on the HMS Harmony Forums to lighten my mood. Voila. McGonagall has posted The Systematic Assassination of Hermione Granger. (You have to register to read the forums.)

Really, most of the threads in these forums could be Fandom Wank material, but this one is so special.</a>

My second favourite bit:

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. History is marked by the tragic consequences of man’s yielding to the sin of “hubris” – pride. JKR had better learn from the lessons of history – because her pride may very well yet be her downfall. I have said before that the HP series had the potential and the promise to be one of the most enlightening literary works of this age, and a vehicle for untold millions of the younger generation to see and understand that they have it in them to rise above the banality – and mediocrity – of the stereotypes painted by the popular media and by a global society that is increasingly focused on materialism and selfish interests. But JKR, in her insistence on sticking to her “original outline” for the series, has effectively derailed the immense promise of the HP series, and – dare I say it? – placed her own interests above the higher purpose that this series may have served. And what is the result of this monumental act of pride?

The sorry mess that is HBP.


And my favourite bit:

As those of you who are closest to me know, I am a Catholic. While I never thought the HP series the "work of the devil" as some Christians called it, I know every Harmonian knows and understands why I cannot find it in my heart to defend HBP as I defended the first five books.

Nonetheless, my faith tells me that God, in His infinite love and wisdom, always has a plan for everything. This will give me the strength to hope in your hopes that Book 7 may yet be salvaged.


Bring on the icons!

NM



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[info]agent_hyatt
2005-09-05 02:39 am UTC (link)
I think you forgot to close an italics tag.

On-topic, if I had any icon-making skills...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]narcissam, 2005-09-05 04:46 am UTC

[info]llama_treats
2005-09-05 02:45 am UTC (link)
Oh, please. We all know that the burning bush signifies H/G and that Voldemort is actually Jesus.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]gun, 2005-09-05 04:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]llama_treats, 2005-09-05 04:59 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-05 05:15 pm UTC

[info]dwib
2005-09-05 02:55 am UTC (link)
God, that bitch. 'Sticking to her "original outline"?' Where does she get the nerve?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]esclaramonde, 2005-09-05 05:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dreamworld, 2005-09-05 03:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]esclaramonde, 2005-09-05 05:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]agent_hyatt, 2005-09-05 06:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-06 03:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kats_kradle, 2005-09-06 01:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-07 07:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bitterfly, 2005-09-07 12:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pepperjackcandy, 2005-09-09 02:44 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-12 03:20 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-09-05 02:56 am UTC (link)
Wow. I just...

Wow...

Do they bottle this crazy up and sell it? Cause I want some. It would give me an excuse to never venture out of the house again for fear of massive embarassment. Although my Internet probably would be taken away.

-Anonyrodent

(Reply to this)


[info]waltraute
2005-09-05 02:57 am UTC (link)
So, let me get this straight...

JKR, by not writing Harry/Hermione, is offending against the perfect harmony and order of God's plan for humanity? Most people who didn't like the book just said that they didn't like the book.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-05 03:33 am UTC

(Deleted post)
(no subject) - [info]nima_skysong, 2005-09-05 05:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dwib, 2005-09-05 05:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nima_skysong, 2005-09-05 05:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fatesarchitect, 2005-09-05 05:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pyratejenni, 2005-09-05 06:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]expeliarbum, 2005-09-05 09:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dreamworld, 2005-09-05 04:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]waltraute, 2005-09-05 04:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]agent_hyatt, 2005-09-05 04:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kinneas, 2005-09-05 05:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]koipool, 2005-09-05 10:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kinneas, 2005-09-05 06:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-10 09:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]koipool, 2005-09-10 09:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-12 03:23 am UTC
(no subject) - dracothelizard, 2005-09-05 11:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hickorydickory, 2005-09-06 02:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nebbieq, 2005-09-06 10:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dreamworld, 2005-09-06 07:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-07 12:36 am UTC
(no subject) - dracothelizard, 2005-09-07 03:12 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-13 06:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]expeliarbum, 2005-09-05 09:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kraken_sleeps, 2005-09-05 10:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]expeliarbum, 2005-09-05 10:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]onmyforehead, 2005-09-05 05:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]esclaramonde, 2005-09-05 05:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]expeliarbum, 2005-09-05 07:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - neoangelss, 2005-09-06 03:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]expeliarbum, 2005-09-06 04:09 am UTC
(no subject) - neoangelss, 2005-09-06 12:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]expeliarbum, 2005-09-06 02:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - neoangelss, 2005-09-06 10:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]expeliarbum, 2005-09-07 01:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_mouse, 2005-09-07 01:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]expeliarbum, 2005-09-07 02:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_mouse, 2005-09-08 01:19 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-09-05 03:22 am UTC (link)
Ah, nothing like HP wank to reassure one that there is still reliable batshit crazy out in the world, particularly in fandoms.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2005-09-05 03:31 am UTC (link)
This person thinks God is going to come down and Command J.K. Rowling to write H/Hr?

They'd be in trouble becasue Cthulu ships R/Hr, and will drive J.K Rowlings insane if she writes H/hr

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]iczer6, 2005-09-05 04:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]atalantapendrag, 2005-09-05 05:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pyratejenni, 2005-09-05 06:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lillyv, 2005-09-05 06:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nebbieq, 2005-09-06 10:07 am UTC

[info]mistal
2005-09-05 03:50 am UTC (link)
Nan, God's true plan is to have it Harry/Draco. ;)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]so_long42, 2005-09-05 07:03 am UTC

[info]nekoama
2005-09-05 03:55 am UTC (link)
Oh yes. Damn that woman for writing what SHE wants to write, rather than succumbing to a bunch of fans on teh intarwebs.

Jesus better posses her when she writes down the 7th book.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-05 04:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nightwalker, 2005-09-05 04:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2005-09-05 04:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]selene_avis, 2005-09-05 11:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-06 06:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-13 05:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-05 05:39 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-05 06:13 am UTC
(no subject) - neoangelss, 2005-09-06 03:17 am UTC

[info]tapedeck
2005-09-05 04:01 am UTC (link)
Nonetheless, my faith tells me that God, in His infinite love and wisdom, always has a plan for everything. This will give me the strength to hope in your hopes that Book 7 may yet be salvaged.
Yeah, except God is a Snape/McGonagall fan.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]willywanka, 2005-09-05 06:10 pm UTC

[info]fandom_biatch
2005-09-05 04:07 am UTC (link)
It's people like this that made me run really quickly away from Christianity.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 03:23 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-09-05 04:10 am UTC (link)
Ah Harmonywank, you shine like a constant beacon of crazy in a scary and too-large world. *single tear*

(Reply to this)


[info]nightwalker
2005-09-05 04:11 am UTC (link)
God ships Harry/Ron, you know.

He told me so last night over dinner while we were discussing whether or not Christopher Moore had inside sources. I don't remember how we got on the topic of Harry Potter, but anyway, He sets his wine glass down and looks me straight in the eye - that's pretty paiful, let me tell you - and He says "Kelly, if that bitch doesn't come through with the boylove she promised me at the end of the Sorcerer's Stone, I'm gonna call a plague of locusts down on her so fast she won't know what happened."

So there you have it.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]crysiana, 2005-09-05 04:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nightwalker, 2005-09-05 05:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]melloniel, 2005-09-05 07:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]_bellisima, 2005-09-05 03:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistal, 2005-09-05 05:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]felinephoenix, 2005-09-05 05:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistal, 2005-09-05 05:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]felinephoenix, 2005-09-05 07:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]agent_hyatt, 2005-09-05 06:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]labyrinthan_elf, 2005-09-05 07:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nightwalker, 2005-09-05 06:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]diane_duane, 2005-09-05 04:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-05 07:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nightwalker, 2005-09-05 07:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-05 08:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-05 11:19 pm UTC

[info]gun
2005-09-05 04:30 am UTC (link)
Excuse me plz,

Would batshit insane people STOP saying they're Christian? Seriously, between this nutter, Pat Robertson and Repent America, people are going to think we're all delusional freaks with self-righteous grandeur pouring out our veins.

Oh, wait.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]honorh, 2005-09-05 07:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]slackerbitch, 2005-09-06 08:11 am UTC
HEARTS <3334 - [info]gun, 2005-09-08 07:33 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-09-05 04:36 am UTC (link)
Icons!

Image Image

~randomsome1

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]gun, 2005-09-05 04:38 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-05 05:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]narcissam, 2005-09-05 04:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fatesarchitect, 2005-09-05 05:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puppyunknown, 2005-09-06 12:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]elektra3, 2005-09-05 05:43 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-05 02:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]esclaramonde, 2005-09-05 05:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sarahkjrsten, 2005-09-05 06:01 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-05 02:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sarahkjrsten, 2005-09-05 07:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kraken_sleeps, 2005-09-05 10:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]koipool, 2005-09-05 10:28 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-05 03:57 pm UTC

(Reply from suspended user)
(no subject) - [info]gun, 2005-09-05 04:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]esclaramonde, 2005-09-05 04:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kinneas, 2005-09-05 05:34 am UTC
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(no subject) - [info]imperialgirl, 2005-09-07 04:09 am UTC

[info]electricchick
2005-09-05 04:58 am UTC (link)
the stereotypes painted by the popular media

What, like the one about the hero always getting the heroine?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]chikane, 2005-09-05 08:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nebbieq, 2005-09-06 10:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]esclaramonde, 2005-09-05 05:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-05 06:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-05 08:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]selene_avis, 2005-09-06 12:06 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-06 01:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mmanurere, 2005-09-06 09:00 pm UTC
Das_Mervin
(Anonymous)
2005-09-05 04:58 am UTC (link)
Gah! You're an insult to Catholics!! *puts on her red hat and red robe and grabs her weaponry*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Das_Mervin - [info]delarina, 2005-09-05 06:01 am UTC
Re: Das_Mervin - [info]das_mervin, 2005-09-06 03:41 am UTC
*slaps self for not reading flist*
[info]narcissam
2005-09-05 04:58 am UTC (link)
I've discovered that [info]miss_celestine on my flist read this essay already, and iconed and cartooned it. Check out here.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: *slaps self for not reading flist* - [info]badger, 2005-09-05 05:41 am UTC
:D - [info]dax_069, 2005-09-05 08:34 am UTC
Re: *slaps self for not reading flist* - [info]coffee_mug, 2005-09-05 03:00 pm UTC
Re: *slaps self for not reading flist* - [info]visp, 2005-09-06 09:13 am UTC

[info]icky_het_girl
2005-09-05 05:00 am UTC (link)
*delurking because this crazeh is too good to pass up*

JKR had better learn from the lessons of history – because her pride may very well yet be her downfall.

Huh? What is this "monumental act of pride" of which the batshit insane Harmonian speaks? OMG JKR WROTE A BOOK! ABOUT CHARACTERS THAT SHE CREATED! OH THE HUMANITY! *sob*

How JKR hasn't turned into a pillar of salt by now, I'll never know. [/Christian upbringing reference]

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mael, 2005-09-05 05:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hermiones_hymen, 2005-09-07 02:24 am UTC

[info]nima_skysong
2005-09-05 05:08 am UTC (link)
...I've seen this essay before on F_W... but where...?
[is confoozled]

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]gun, 2005-09-05 05:11 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-05 05:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kookaburra, 2005-09-05 06:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]beccastareyes, 2005-09-05 06:35 am UTC

(Deleted post)
(no subject) - [info]nebbieq, 2005-09-06 10:45 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-09-05 05:18 am UTC (link)
Oh shit dude, crazy-ass pairing-worshippers have decided God is on their side...

It'll be suicide bombings at Barnes & Noble next.


-Lukadia/LJ

(Reply to this)


[info]nightwalker
2005-09-05 05:18 am UTC (link)
I'm confused... what is "anti-obhwf" anyway?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]nima_skysong, 2005-09-05 05:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]limyaael, 2005-09-05 05:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]esclaramonde, 2005-09-05 05:38 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-05 05:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]esclaramonde, 2005-09-05 05:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]felinephoenix, 2005-09-05 05:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]esclaramonde, 2005-09-05 05:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]yashahime, 2005-09-05 07:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]expeliarbum, 2005-09-05 09:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]felinephoenix, 2005-09-05 07:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]felinephoenix, 2005-09-05 07:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]alden, 2005-09-05 08:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]felinephoenix, 2005-09-05 08:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bakunina, 2005-09-05 11:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]felinephoenix, 2005-09-06 10:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]alden, 2005-09-09 12:05 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-05 10:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]theamazingrando, 2005-09-05 06:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]felinephoenix, 2005-09-06 10:44 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-07 07:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nebbieq, 2005-09-06 10:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nightwalker, 2005-09-05 06:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]esclaramonde, 2005-09-05 10:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nightwalker, 2005-09-06 01:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]esclaramonde, 2005-09-06 01:31 am UTC

[info]linzee
2005-09-05 05:21 am UTC (link)
Nonetheless, my faith tells me that God, in His infinite love and wisdom, always has a plan for everything. This will give me the strength to hope in your hopes that Book 7 may yet be salvaged.

Because clearly, The Time Has Come for God to test the truly righteous, imposing upon them the exile, torment and suffering of Ron/Hermoine.

I have no idea who *any* of these characters are outside of the disturbing f_w-garnered knowledge that, at some point or another, they've probably all been slashed with a Squid, and I still think the merging of batshit Harmonians and batshit Religious Whackjobs might actually bring about an apocolypse.

It's all...so beautiful. *sheds a tear*

Linzee

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]nightwalker, 2005-09-05 08:52 am UTC

[info]expeliarbum
2005-09-05 05:29 am UTC (link)
It'll never end, will it?

HP series had the potential and the promise to be one of the most enlightening literary works of this age, and a vehicle for untold millions of the younger generation to see and understand that they have it in them to rise above the banality

WTF? Really, I though Harry Potter was a children's book. Enjoyable, yes, but without the value that 'Crime and punishment' or 'Ana Karenina' in my opinion have...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]esclaramonde, 2005-09-05 05:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]expeliarbum, 2005-09-05 05:54 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-05 05:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]expeliarbum, 2005-09-05 06:42 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-05 07:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]expeliarbum, 2005-09-05 07:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jumble, 2005-09-05 07:32 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-05 08:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]grand_sealink, 2005-09-05 06:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]expeliarbum, 2005-09-05 06:41 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-05 07:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]expeliarbum, 2005-09-05 07:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]honorh, 2005-09-05 07:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]expeliarbum, 2005-09-05 07:18 am UTC
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(no subject) - [info]expeliarbum, 2005-09-05 10:00 am UTC
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(no subject) - [info]expeliarbum, 2005-09-05 08:00 pm UTC
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(no subject) - [info]cleolinda, 2005-09-05 10:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nightwalker, 2005-09-05 07:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]so_long42, 2005-09-05 07:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]knightrider, 2005-09-05 01:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]capsulekei, 2005-09-06 08:56 pm UTC
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(no subject) - [info]expeliarbum, 2005-09-05 09:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lukita, 2005-09-06 01:06 am UTC
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(no subject) - [info]lukita, 2005-09-06 03:48 am UTC
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(no subject) - [info]esclaramonde, 2005-09-05 05:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]spleen, 2005-09-05 09:33 am UTC
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