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NM ([info]narcissam) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2005-09-08 12:44:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:fandom: harry potter, harmonians, internet lawyers

Harmonian Wars, Episode 999: Revenge of the Internet Lawyer
I've been lurking around watching this wank unfold for a while, but if I get any of the rather numerous details wrong, feel free to correct me. It's long but it has so many wonderful features that I couldn't *not* wank it.

It all begins with the the_hms_stfu, an LJ community which was devoted to sporking HP shipper insanity. While all ships were fair game, the two constant stars of the sporkings were Caina (of the 'HBP the H/Hr way' and 'retarded people don't mind being called retards' wanks) and Snowy (of the 'Ultimate Betrayal Petition' wank.)

Now, over on the HMS Harmony forums, Mad Eye Mike asks who are these militant H/Hr shippers everyone's talking about. On the_hms_stfu, the community members in response nominate Snowy for calling his/her critics "militant homophobes". While there's some question whether Snowy is a serious Harmonian or a troll, members of HMS Harmony show up on the_hms_stfu to defend Snowy from the charge of being militant and/or crazy.

Unfortunately, none of this is linkable, as about that time, Caina discovers the_hms_stfu and reports it to LJ, which deletes it. Caina declares victory over at her Silverwhisps forums. Too soon, as it turns out. Within a day, FW regulars have got journalfen accounts for the community, and [info]the_hms_stfu is sporking away again.

But back on LJ, the members of the_hms_stfu first went over to [info]deleterius to discuss what had happened to their community. In the comments, the HMS Harmony's own internet lawyer vanceone shows up to lay down the law to [info]cornedbee's questions about what they did wrong.

Excerpts::
Harrassing--the entire point of the LJ was to encourage people to go and attack H/Hr shippers, mostly. You say it wasn't the stated purpose? Then what was the "Target:Harmony" or whatever you had. And then a "declaration of victory--" you were crowing about how you had harassed her into finally shutting down her site to you. You were quite proud that you were being banned. You called Caina tons of names--"bitch queen goddess." You mocked her, and many stated that they hoped she didn't have children. You, corned bee, called me a cultist. This are all abusive.


and

Are you a lawyer, perchance?

Plus
I would also note that LJ deletes Fandom-Wank repeatedly. Surely this should tell you something.

To prove their moral superiority, the Harmonians launch [info]hmsgetalife. The current post is calling for fandom peace, but at first it is not exactly conciliatory. Their second post is entitled Helping the Mentally Ill and includes this paragraph.

Our current fascination: The H.M.S. STFU. They must be -mocked- helped. They are humiliating themselves in front of countless H/Hr fans around the world! H/Hr fans are going to start dying from laughter! They are beginning to think insulting H/Hr fans is a fun hobby! Nay, Obsession! We must laugh our @$$es off at these immature mo'rons. Come my shipmates, maybe laughter will cure them (doubtful- but the hysterical laughs are worth it)!! Let us notify the H.M.S. STFU that the H.M.S. Harmony won't- Shut The F*ck Up!

and

Note to the Mentally Ill: The H.M.S. Harmony is unsinkable- so mind you, silly little attacks will not faze us, and certainly will not sink us. Please, for the sake of human sanity- stop bothering!!

However, for some reason, the mission statement of the [info]hmsgetalife was c&ped from the_hms_stfu.

And that about concludes our story, except that vanceone shows up on das mervin's LJ and makes more legal arguments. Or the same ones, possibly. This is currently being sporked over on [info]the_hms_stfu here.

DONE! I thought I'd never finish.




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[info]darth_snuggles
2005-09-08 09:08 pm UTC (link)
They are humiliating themselves in front of countless H/Hr fans around the world! H/Hr fans are going to start dying from laughter!

Look at them, trying to mock us! It's so funny! LOOK HOW MUCH I'M NOT AFFECTED BY THEM! AHAHAHA, SEE HOW HARD I'M LAUGHING?!?! MY LIFE STILL HAS MEANING, I SWEAR IT DOES!

C'mon, guys. Just go back to writing porn. I promise, it's much more cathartic and productive than getting into a fandom pissing contest.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

'At,' not 'with.' - [info]kadath, 2005-09-08 09:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 03:59 pm UTC

[info]willywanka
2005-09-08 09:13 pm UTC (link)
H/Hr fans are going to start dying from laughter! Meh, as long as it gets the job done.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]shemacraterror, 2005-09-08 10:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]drakyndra, 2005-09-10 08:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shylu, 2005-09-11 05:25 am UTC

[info]mirabellawotr
2005-09-08 09:31 pm UTC (link)
You know, I was all like "I haven't seen any Harmonian wank for a while. I wonder if they've all gone back on their meds." And then I opened up Fandom Wank, and lo and behold.

God moves in mysterious ways. But I bet he still doesn't ship H/Hr.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loopywafflehead, 2005-09-08 09:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]esclaramonde, 2005-09-08 09:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nebbieq, 2005-09-08 10:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 04:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]agent_hyatt, 2005-09-09 02:17 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 04:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]binah, 2005-09-09 11:22 pm UTC

[info]prettyveela
2005-09-08 09:52 pm UTC (link)
And then, her comments basically said that she was frankly bewildered that anyone thought she was writing a deep story.

Um, NO that is not what she said. She basically said she was shocked that anyone thought she was going H/Hr in canon, when she clearly had dropped ANVIL SIZED HINTS that she wasn't. I personally don't think JKR gives a shit what you ship in fanon, but she didn't mislead you in her canon world.

She is writing a story that has deeper meaning in some areas of her plot, but it's not shipping, sheesh.

I hate to call these people stupid, but damn.

You have a valid point, but the thing that got most Harmonians upset was that our ship was dismissed just as if it was invalid as Remus/Sirius.

Ok, NOW I'm insulted. *crosses arms*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]speshulduck, 2005-09-08 10:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nima_skysong, 2005-09-09 02:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ruby_tuesday, 2005-09-08 11:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]imperialgirl, 2005-09-09 01:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ruby_tuesday, 2005-09-09 02:37 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 01:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ruby_tuesday, 2005-09-09 06:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]solar_type_star, 2005-09-09 04:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ruby_tuesday, 2005-09-09 06:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]solar_type_star, 2005-09-09 06:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ruby_tuesday, 2005-09-09 07:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-10 02:13 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-13 03:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]imperialgirl, 2005-09-10 01:02 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-08 11:17 pm UTC
lol - [info]prettyveela, 2005-09-09 01:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]white_serpent, 2005-09-08 11:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]expeliarbum, 2005-09-09 03:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]white_serpent, 2005-09-09 05:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]expeliarbum, 2005-09-09 01:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]white_serpent, 2005-09-09 09:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bitca, 2005-09-09 04:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 12:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]expeliarbum, 2005-09-09 03:06 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 03:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]so_long42, 2005-09-09 03:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]prettyveela, 2005-09-09 01:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 03:45 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 01:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ol_whatsername, 2005-09-09 09:51 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 04:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]solar_type_star, 2005-09-09 04:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 04:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]solar_type_star, 2005-09-09 04:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 07:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lycoris, 2005-09-10 01:55 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-10 02:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lycoris, 2005-09-12 09:31 pm UTC

[info]nebbieq
2005-09-08 10:01 pm UTC (link)
They are humiliating themselves in front of countless H/Hr fans around the world!

And yet, the internet at large continues not to care.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]solar_type_star, 2005-09-09 04:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]drakyndra, 2005-09-10 08:16 am UTC

[info]mochibuni
2005-09-08 10:02 pm UTC (link)
Hermione the Champion!: The champion never dies! But does she get the girl?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]willywanka, 2005-09-08 10:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nebbieq, 2005-09-08 10:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]darth_snuggles, 2005-09-08 10:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]suziecroft, 2005-09-08 11:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]qem_chibati, 2005-09-09 03:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]maev_connacht, 2005-09-09 05:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]luthe, 2005-09-09 08:29 am UTC

[info]gal_montag
2005-09-08 10:06 pm UTC (link)
They are beginning to think insulting H/Hr fans is a fun hobby!

*snort* They insult themselves.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]apoplexia, 2005-09-09 10:46 am UTC

(Reply from suspended user)
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2005-09-08 10:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]narcissam, 2005-09-08 10:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]llama_treats, 2005-09-08 10:48 pm UTC

(Reply from suspended user)
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2005-09-08 10:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ianthefira, 2005-09-09 01:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]solar_type_star, 2005-09-09 04:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2005-09-09 06:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]solar_type_star, 2005-09-09 06:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]das_mervin, 2005-09-09 08:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]narcissam, 2005-09-08 10:42 pm UTC

(Reply from suspended user)

(Reply from suspended user)
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-08 11:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2005-09-08 11:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kinneas, 2005-09-09 12:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]esclaramonde, 2005-09-09 12:53 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 11:51 pm UTC
Just curious
[info]elihice
2005-09-08 10:44 pm UTC (link)
Have they ever, since HBP came out, stopped wanking? At least long enough to run to the grocery store and get more supplies?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Just curious - [info]phosfate, 2005-09-08 10:50 pm UTC
Re: Just curious - [info]marks, 2005-09-08 10:54 pm UTC
Re: Just curious - [info]phosfate, 2005-09-08 10:58 pm UTC
Re: Just curious - [info]tronella, 2005-09-09 03:25 pm UTC
Re: Just curious - [info]phosfate, 2005-09-09 03:37 pm UTC
Re: Just curious - [info]tronella, 2005-09-09 03:41 pm UTC
Re: Just curious - [info]jim_smith, 2005-09-08 11:43 pm UTC
You ask, I answer... - [info]marks, 2005-09-09 02:52 am UTC
Re: You ask, I answer... - [info]jim_smith, 2005-09-09 03:10 am UTC
Re: You ask, I answer... - [info]luthe, 2005-09-09 08:31 am UTC
Re: Just curious - [info]honorh, 2005-09-08 10:52 pm UTC
Re: Just curious - [info]abydonian, 2005-09-08 11:01 pm UTC
Re: Just curious - [info]ruby_tuesday, 2005-09-08 11:02 pm UTC
Re: Just curious - [info]abydonian, 2005-09-08 11:03 pm UTC
Re: Just curious - [info]ruby_tuesday, 2005-09-08 11:04 pm UTC
Re: Just curious - [info]abydonian, 2005-09-08 11:06 pm UTC
Re: Just curious - [info]ruby_tuesday, 2005-09-08 11:07 pm UTC

verthandi
2005-09-08 10:45 pm UTC (link)
Jesus, it's like the Energizer Bunny of wank--It. Never. Fucking. Ends.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Ikuko - (Anonymous), 2005-09-08 10:55 pm UTC
Re: Ikuko - verthandi, 2005-09-09 05:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nima_skysong, 2005-09-09 02:45 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 03:44 am UTC
(no subject) - verthandi, 2005-09-09 05:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lidane, 2005-09-09 12:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 04:12 pm UTC

[info]ruby_tuesday
2005-09-08 11:04 pm UTC (link)
I no longer have to tell these people to get the hell of my ship.

I've officially converted to Trioshipping as of three minutes ago.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]speshulduck, 2005-09-08 11:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]marks, 2005-09-08 11:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]im_nucking_futs, 2005-09-09 01:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pyratejenni, 2005-09-09 03:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]beccastareyes, 2005-09-09 03:18 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 05:00 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 12:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 04:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-10 04:21 am UTC
The Origin of Harmony
[info]narcissam
2005-09-08 11:28 pm UTC (link)
While I was hunting up all the links and quotes, I came upon the fact that Mad Eyed Mike is leaving the fandom. The HMS Harmony people have written him a tribute. (You have to register to see it.)

I think this part may interest Fandom Wank regulars.

Additionally, Mike was the one who thought of the name "Harmony" back when a lot of us used to debate at CoSForums. He wanted a name that had something to do with canon, that reminded people of the relationship between Harry and Hermione in canon, and so we got Harmony. But that was just the beginning: many, many things happened after that; things that probably would have never happened if Mike hadn’t been there.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: The Origin of Harmony - [info]vergilsparda, 2005-09-08 11:36 pm UTC
Re: The Origin of Harmony - (Anonymous), 2005-09-08 11:55 pm UTC
Re: The Origin of Harmony - [info]renata_hpjc, 2005-09-09 12:10 am UTC
Re: The Origin of Harmony - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 12:57 am UTC
Re: The Origin of Harmony - [info]willywanka, 2005-09-09 04:08 am UTC

[info]didodiva
2005-09-08 11:35 pm UTC (link)
How'd a silly little group like that get reported When I tried to report something there it was very picking, only considering a group harrassment if personal info such as last names, home addresses, phone numbers or credit card info was given.

I'm tempted to start the HMS No One, which doesn't ship any memeber of the trio with anyone else in the trio. I mean Harry/Ron has never interested me, Hermione and Ron acted so petulent with each other in HPB that I burned out on R/Hr, and the Harry/Hermione ship has too much craziness for my taste.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]esclaramonde, 2005-09-09 12:56 am UTC

(Reply from suspended user)
(no subject) - [info]agent_hyatt, 2005-09-09 02:23 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 03:33 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 06:25 pm UTC
Ikuko
(Anonymous)
2005-09-08 11:40 pm UTC (link)
BLUFF
Whether or not Vanceone is a lawyer or not, he is certainly a liar.
He claims that “All content posted on this board (HMS Harmony) is copyrighted” (in US!). Surely he is kidding. Copyright is a serious thing, and contents of a discussion board can not be copyrighted. Check out the US copyright law for the on-line content: http://www.copyright.gov/circs/circ66.html.
There is only one way to protect a frequently updated resource such as a discussion board, and I doubt they would be able to afford it even if all Harmonians of the world would pool together their lunch money. Unless Vanceone pays out of his pocket $30 for every post and/or every day of the run of the site, there is no copyright protection there whatsoever, it is a pure bluff. Spork away!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Ikuko - [info]issendai, 2005-09-08 11:55 pm UTC
Re: Ikuko - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 12:04 am UTC
Re: Ikuko - [info]issendai, 2005-09-09 12:21 am UTC
Re: Ikuko - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 12:49 am UTC
Re: Ikuko - [info]issendai, 2005-09-09 02:20 am UTC

[info]mmanurere
2005-09-08 11:49 pm UTC (link)
You have a valid point, but the thing that got most Harmonians upset was that our ship was dismissed just as if it was invalid as Remus/Sirius.

I'm fairly certain that I could come up with a stronger textual defense for R/S than for R/Hr. I might even go to the trouble of developing such a defense if I actually cared whether or not any particular pairing which I may enjoy is textually supported or not.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]goldberry, 2005-09-09 01:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nima_skysong, 2005-09-09 02:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]goldberry, 2005-09-09 06:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nima_skysong, 2005-09-09 09:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]qem_chibati, 2005-09-09 03:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]goldberry, 2005-09-09 06:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mmanurere, 2005-09-09 04:34 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 01:39 pm UTC

[info]sennet
2005-09-08 11:54 pm UTC (link)
This are all abusive.

X Fuckin' D

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 12:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kinneas, 2005-09-09 01:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]marumae, 2005-09-10 12:11 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 03:42 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 04:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kalypsi_cat, 2005-09-09 06:28 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 06:45 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 02:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]marumae, 2005-09-10 12:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]batsith, 2005-09-10 12:56 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-10 05:31 am UTC
LOL! - [info]darkeyes, 2005-09-10 11:49 pm UTC

[info]bangoskank
2005-09-09 12:05 am UTC (link)
I would also note that LJ deletes Fandom-Wank repeatedly. Surely this should tell you something.

What?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 12:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kraken_sleeps, 2005-09-09 12:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mindset, 2005-09-09 01:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]luxshine, 2005-09-09 02:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]zarla, 2005-09-09 10:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]luxshine, 2005-09-11 05:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]zarla, 2005-09-12 09:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]luxshine, 2005-09-12 07:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]zarla, 2005-09-14 07:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]luxshine, 2005-09-15 05:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]zarla, 2005-09-16 07:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bangoskank, 2005-09-20 08:02 pm UTC

(Deleted post)
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2005-09-09 08:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]solar_type_star, 2005-09-09 04:46 pm UTC

tourette
2005-09-09 12:16 am UTC (link)
Note to the Mentally Ill: The H.M.S. Harmony is unsinkable- so mind you, silly little attacks will not faze us, and certainly will not sink us. Please, for the sake of human sanity- stop bothering!!

Should I consult my doctor about this, do you think? Perhaps I need new medication. I'm obviously not taking enough drugs.

(reminds me of when someone else on LJ exclaimed that people who didn't like Ginny were "mentally ill". Well, maybe some of them are, but disliking one character or another has nothing to do with it, any more than whether you prefer mint choc-chip ice cream to strawberry)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 04:51 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-10 05:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]drakyndra, 2005-09-10 08:25 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-11 12:21 am UTC
(no subject) - tourette, 2005-09-11 12:49 pm UTC

[info]pope_shane
2005-09-09 12:28 am UTC (link)
This fandom would be a lot more bearable if it wasn't for the fans.

(Reply to this)

And....
[info]pope_shane
2005-09-09 12:38 am UTC (link)
Inspired by by comment, here is an icon for all our use. The usual (credit, etc), tusen takk.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: And.... - [info]nima_skysong, 2005-09-09 02:52 am UTC
Re: And.... - [info]pope_shane, 2005-09-09 03:54 am UTC
Re: And.... - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 04:13 am UTC

(Reply from suspended user)
(no subject) - [info]esclaramonde, 2005-09-09 02:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ahiru, 2005-09-09 04:24 pm UTC

[info]roni_maxwell
2005-09-09 01:13 am UTC (link)
ah, the Harmonians...they're just making themselves look worse, aren't they?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]singe, 2005-09-09 02:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]roni_maxwell, 2005-09-09 02:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2005-09-09 03:19 am UTC

[info]dwib
2005-09-09 01:22 am UTC (link)
Let us notify the H.M.S. STFU that the H.M.S. Harmony won't- Shut The F*ck Up!

The asterisk detracts somewhat from this mighty show of defiance. If you can't swear properly, you're no sailor.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2005-09-09 01:50 am UTC (link)
Why won't the Harmonians QUIT? Suikoden III fandom is going to have to switch from wanking over whether Salome deserves sex to, I don't know, Nash/Sasarai vs. Luc/Sasarai or something, just to reclaim the term.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

WORD - [info]charmian, 2005-09-09 03:13 am UTC
Re: WORD - (Anonymous), 2005-09-09 04:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]expeliarbum, 2005-09-09 03:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]loki, 2005-09-09 05:43 am UTC



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