Harmonian Wars, Episode 999: Revenge of the Internet Lawyer
I've been lurking around watching this wank unfold for a while, but if I get any of the rather numerous details wrong, feel free to correct me. It's long but it has so many wonderful features that I couldn't *not* wank it.
It all begins with the the_hms_stfu, an LJ community which was devoted to sporking HP shipper insanity. While all ships were fair game, the two constant stars of the sporkings were Caina (of the 'HBP the H/Hr way' and 'retarded people don't mind being called retards' wanks) and Snowy (of the 'Ultimate Betrayal Petition' wank.)
Now, over on the HMS Harmony forums, Mad Eye Mike asks who are these militant H/Hr shippers everyone's talking about. On the_hms_stfu, the community members in response nominate Snowy for calling his/her critics "militant homophobes". While there's some question whether Snowy is a serious Harmonian or a troll, members of HMS Harmony show up on the_hms_stfu to defend Snowy from the charge of being militant and/or crazy.
Unfortunately, none of this is linkable, as about that time, Caina discovers the_hms_stfu and reports it to LJ, which deletes it. Caina declares victory over at her Silverwhisps forums. Too soon, as it turns out. Within a day, FW regulars have got journalfen accounts for the community, and
the_hms_stfu is sporking away again.
But back on LJ, the members of the_hms_stfu first went over to
deleterius to discuss what had happened to their community. In the comments, the HMS Harmony's own internet lawyer vanceone shows up to lay down the law to
cornedbee's questions about what they did wrong.
Excerpts::
Harrassing--the entire point of the LJ was to encourage people to go and attack H/Hr shippers, mostly. You say it wasn't the stated purpose? Then what was the "Target:Harmony" or whatever you had. And then a "declaration of victory--" you were crowing about how you had harassed her into finally shutting down her site to you. You were quite proud that you were being banned. You called Caina tons of names--"bitch queen goddess." You mocked her, and many stated that they hoped she didn't have children. You, corned bee, called me a cultist. This are all abusive.
and
Are you a lawyer, perchance?
Plus
I would also note that LJ deletes Fandom-Wank repeatedly. Surely this should tell you something.
To prove their moral superiority, the Harmonians launch
hmsgetalife. The current post is calling for fandom peace, but at first it is not exactly conciliatory. Their second post is entitled Helping the Mentally Ill and includes this paragraph.
Our current fascination: The H.M.S. STFU. They must be -mocked- helped. They are humiliating themselves in front of countless H/Hr fans around the world! H/Hr fans are going to start dying from laughter! They are beginning to think insulting H/Hr fans is a fun hobby! Nay, Obsession! We must laugh our @$$es off at these immature mo'rons. Come my shipmates, maybe laughter will cure them (doubtful- but the hysterical laughs are worth it)!! Let us notify the H.M.S. STFU that the H.M.S. Harmony won't- Shut The F*ck Up!
and
Note to the Mentally Ill: The H.M.S. Harmony is unsinkable- so mind you, silly little attacks will not faze us, and certainly will not sink us. Please, for the sake of human sanity- stop bothering!!
However, for some reason, the mission statement of the
hmsgetalife was c&ped from the_hms_stfu.
And that about concludes our story, except that vanceone shows up on das mervin's LJ and makes more legal arguments. Or the same ones, possibly. This is currently being sporked over on
the_hms_stfu here.
DONE! I thought I'd never finish.