What a wanker, what a fucking wanker...
As we’ve often seen in the past, musicians + internets = wank. So when Libertines frontman Carl Barât left a message on the band’s official forum announcing the finalization of the lineup for his new, as yet unnamed project, it wasn’t long before the fangirls came a’fapping on thelibs_daily. There’s a little bit of flailing at first, over the fact that famous people use the internets too!!!, but the ball doesn’t really get rolling until aloha_nui shows up with a chip on her shoulder, nursing a grudge against the girls who run the official site and against the other posters on the forum. Despite being all over the thread, she takes umbrage when l_s_q calls her out as a nutter, clearly based on only three comments in the entire thread (it’s not like anyone would possibly read the whole thing, y‘know?) and lashes out, calling her “one of the Kirsties pathetic overweight friends who stuff their pasty fat flesh into corsets and call it burlesque”. And then whines that no one gets her. ‘Cos she’s Jewish, and American, and Libertines fans are all a bunch of anti-American anti-Semites, innit. All because she’s Jewish. Did you catch that she’s Jewish? She’ll tell you again, in case you missed it!

Being the nosy curious, enterprising sort, we take a further look at her LJ, where we find this gem of a post where she knows oh-so-much more industry gossip than you, based on that industry bible, Datalounge Popbitch. *snicker* Libertines fandom, meet your MsAllegro!

Oh, but don’t mock her. She’s a gay man trapped in a woman’s body so she knows all about Teh Gay whoops wrong wanker Jewish, you just don’t understand.