So, as every FF7 fan knows, the Advent Children movie was leaked. A lot of people have downloaded it, a lot more people have wanked over it.

And while I'm involved here, I didn't think it was enough to merit i_wank.

Also, no spoilers in the cut. Just in the original post.


Over in rabidfanssuck, everyone's favorite wankspot next to fanficrants, thrustingmom69 posts a very long, very tedious essay about why the movie null-and-voids Cloud/Aeris (or Cloud/anyone but Tifa, really.) It takes a lot of points from the movie that could be argued otherwise, completely disregard's Cloud's whole forgiveness-lust, and is basically, surprise surprise, very rabid.

Including:

And the look Tifa gives Cloud at the end: Hawt secks, is all I must say. And Cloud did smile back at her, and it was quite a big smile, too. If you actually take the time to notice, that is when he smiles his biggest smile in the whole film. Flame me, I don't care, but it *IS*. Name a time where he smiles more. Simply put, there isn't. Nada. Nope. ^_____^

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And for the finishing touch, please, go watch Last Order: Final Fantasy 7. I think that is a strong hint of who is truly in Cloud's heart. Tifa has been in his heart in his past and now for his future, no doubt Cloud and Aeris had a bond, I am not saying they didn't. But is Cloud and Tifa canon? Yes, it is. I love Nomura and co. for doing what they did. All the hints in the interviews were right there, and...I cannot thank that little man enough. :] I thought handling the love triangle would be hard enough, but, he proved it to be easy. Go Nomura. Go SE. Go sex gods! And go FF7. I will buy your products for as long as I live

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Seriously, these are the people who call us "CloTis" sex obsessed because Tifa has big boobs. WTF? They also worship the carp because it is a simbol of Cloud and Aeris's love. They think "I want to meet you." means I want to fuck you. >____< And basedon what I just wrote, Advent Children seems really CloTi, eh? I swear, fucking pink-obsessed fangirls.

I'm the first to chip in on the post, pointing out that people should be able to ship what they want and interpret pairings how they please. I also point out how rabid the post is.

Others follow suit.

And, whoops, but thrustingmom forgot an LJ-cut. And not only is the post kind of tl;dr without one, but there are spoilers. Everywhere.

Also, what's a wank without the original poster replying to themself and completely missing the point?

Just a bite-sized wank compared to the rest, really. But, "AC Wank: You Knew It Had To Come Sometime."



EDIT THE FIRST: Thrustingmom doesn't get why an LJ cut is necessary. "And I put warning: spoilers, can you not read? Ding ding ding."

S/he then uses the ever-popular intarwebz speek to basically say "I don't need no stinkin' LJ-cut!"

Discuss.

EDIT THE SECOND: Thrustingmom continues the wank on its own journal, and is apparently very offended by the Mukki/Cloud jokes.