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quickfade ([info]quickfade) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2005-09-29 23:04:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Teeny 'The Killers' wank at Amazon.com
I was browsing Amazon.com and came across this tiny but wankilicious piece of, well, wank, masquerading as informative customer reviews for The Killers – Hot Fuss.



Copied and pasted for those too lazy to click the link. All bolding is mine.

The drama begins when Steve-o and GREENDAYSUCKS post negative and poorly punctuated and spelt reviews of 'Hot Fuss':

Rock? My Ass, September 22, 2005
Reviewer: Steve -o "Steve-o" (Des.Moines, IA) - See all my reviews
Im tired of hearing about how all these new bands are being put in the category of Rock or Punk Rock. How can anyone even compare this Pop Crap to Rock? Im sorry but rock in roll is not about some girlfriend who looked like some boyfriend, that just means the chicks a cross dresser or shes really ugly and this band is talking about how jealous they are of her with another guy? what the hell? And im a song writer and its hard to come up with some good lyrics but who in the hell rights about that? COME ON! Rock is suppose to be about the Guitar Solos and lyrical combintation, the Drum Solo's, hell, even a bass solo, and alls this crap is some guy talking about god knows what, yeah, hes not even singing! there is NO talent in just steping up to a microphone and talking into it, come on? wheres the vocals? I can do that, its not that hard. This cant even be considered punk rock, GREENDAY IS PUNK ROCK, these guys are in the category of TALENTLESS CRAP. Rock N'Roll, PLEASE Come back! we need you more then ever now! Show this crap what REAL talent is!


YAYYYYYY, September 22, 2005
Reviewer: GREENDAYSUCKS "GREENDAYSUCKS" (CA) - See all my reviews
YAAAAY!!! THIS IS SO GREAT. ITS LIKE A BUNCH OF LIKE COOL GUYS WHO CANT PLAY INTRUMENTS AND HAVE THE SAME SONG PLAYING OVER AND OVER AGAIN. just kidding.....This crap is almost as bad as Green DAy.. any true rock fan would shin this piece of dog turd

now comes the best part...the poser wannabe rocker clicks no on this review and tries to stay tough......try listening to some Zeppelin you posers


Fair enough, you may think. They’re allowed their opinions. Apparently not. Matthew L. Boese has a few issues with the reviewers:

Ignorance, September 24, 2005
Reviewer: Matthew L. Boese "mattboese" (missouri) - See all my reviews
The Killers is a great band. They bring something really different to the table. They have fresh new lyrics, and good catchy songs. In response to Steve-O and GreendaySucks, the songs are good enough to carry the cd alone, but despite what these jokers say, the lyrics are definetly different, clever, and all in all, good. He says that rock is not about a girlfriend looking like a boyfriend, or whatever, rock is about what ever the hell the person writing it wants it to be about. These clowns are still stuck in the 70's as one of them claim in his review that Led Zeppelin is real rock, and according to him if you listen to anything newer than the 70's, your a "rock poser". Rock is not all about long drawn out guitar and drum solos, yeah sure there kool, but if you have a 2 minute drum solo in every song, it tends to get old, fast. Anyway, i am a true rock fan, unlike these close minded fossils, that are still hung up on Zeppelin, i am a huge fan of Zeppelin myself, but i am open minded enough to give other genres of rock a chance, i listen to bands these guys have prolly never even heard of. You should rate a cd or band on how good THEY are, not how well they stack up against your favorite band. My favorite band is Killswitch Engage, if i were to compare The Killers to them, they would get an automatic 1. So guys if your not gonna give a fair review to new bands then i think Eric Clapton has a new cd out you can praise. Steve-O you also claim to be a songwriter, have you ever sold a song, no..? Oh.. I didnt think so, so until then shut up and quit acting like your something your really not. To be honest, anyone with a creative mind or a bottle of Jack can be a songwriter, and you claim its hard, maybe your just a simple minded old man.? And change your name man, Steve-O is kool, your a deusche, if steve-o knew you were stealin his name and being a deusche with it, im sure he would kick your old ass. Well The Killers cd is a great cd for anyone who is looking for something new, or is already a fan of the genre.


And now the spooge really starts flowing. Steve-o posts in OMG RETALIATION!11!! to set the record straight (I’m sure he’s breaking some interweb rules here, but I have no idea what they are):

RETALIATION (Not a Review), September 26, 2005
Reviewer: Steve-o (Des.Moines, IA) - See all my reviews
To Matthew L.Boese:
1-I am 18 so dont even call me an old man when most likley your older then I am
2-Have you ever sat down yourself and Tried to write a song? Oh...I dont think so, yeah so shut the hell up if you dont know what the hell your talking about. TRY and write a song, it takes a lot of concentration and you have to be creative, the whole reason I started writing songs was because a friend of mine died, which makes it that much harder for me, so think before you say stupid crap like that.
3-I admitt Steve-o is a cool guy, but he DOES NOT own the name Steve-o, its just a nickname his friends GAVE HIM they same way my friends gave me the nickname Steve-o, and we're not the only to people to use that nickname.
4-Im intitled to my own opinion just like everyone else is, am I sitting here critcizing people for liking the killers? No, alls I was doing is voicing my opinion so you can shut up on that point aswell
5-When the hell is the last time you've even HEARD a drum solo on a recording thats not live? Yeah thats right, so how in the hell can they get old when harldy anyone does them except on live shows or albums, but its not everyday you get to see a concert
6-Led Zeppelins a great band yea, but your saying im stuck on them? they're not even in my top 100 bands to listen to
and if you absolutley have something to say, say it to my face.


Well, that certainly told him.

*Sits back and hopes pleads for waits for Brandon Flowers icons*



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(Anonymous)
2005-09-30 12:21 am UTC (link)
He~ey, The Killers got their name from a New Order video.
Their music may or may not be The Greatest Thing Ever, but they can get brownie points from me for having good taste.

-Anonyrodent

(Reply to this)


[info]o_o
2005-09-30 12:22 am UTC (link)
There are so many amusing typos here (Steve-O's review especially is a real winner) that I feel like holding a contest for the best mock definitions.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]willywanka, 2005-09-30 04:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]saralina25, 2005-09-30 06:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]suzuran_sumire, 2005-09-30 06:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]solar_type_star, 2005-09-30 01:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]willywanka, 2005-09-30 03:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]crickets, 2005-10-01 01:13 am UTC

(Reply from suspended user)
(no subject) - [info]adora_spintriae, 2005-09-30 02:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jetamors, 2005-09-30 03:51 am UTC

(Reply from suspended user)
(no subject) - [info]jetamors, 2005-10-01 12:36 am UTC

(Reply from suspended user)
(no subject) - [info]devils_devotion, 2005-10-01 04:54 pm UTC

[info]antigone
2005-09-30 12:44 am UTC (link)
You know anyone with a screen name of "*whatever*SUCKS!!" is going to be a posterchild for clear and reasonable thinking.

(Reply to this)


[info]anatalya
2005-09-30 12:55 am UTC (link)
Music wanks are funny.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]jat_sapphire, 2005-09-30 06:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]anatalya, 2005-09-30 05:48 pm UTC

[info]so_long42
2005-09-30 01:02 am UTC (link)
I can't get over the guy going on about how "The Killers" are not REAL rock, only to end by saying "GREENDAY IS PUNK ROCK." I mean, I like Greenday, but if you're going to be pretentious about music tastes, I think there are better bands to choose. to represent punk...

I'm just saying.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]so_long42, 2005-09-30 01:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]narcissam, 2005-09-30 02:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]zaliesiren, 2005-09-30 02:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vergilsparda, 2005-09-30 04:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]zaliesiren, 2005-09-30 05:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vergilsparda, 2005-09-30 05:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]zaliesiren, 2005-09-30 05:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vergilsparda, 2005-09-30 05:42 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-30 05:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]zaliesiren, 2005-09-30 05:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vergilsparda, 2005-09-30 06:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]zaliesiren, 2005-09-30 06:07 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-30 06:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]justicepeckham, 2005-09-30 05:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]coffee_mug, 2005-09-30 10:17 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-30 03:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]theladyfeylene, 2005-09-30 05:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]amxjm, 2005-09-30 09:17 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-30 09:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]so_long42, 2005-09-30 01:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]squib, 2005-09-30 04:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]palefire, 2005-10-07 01:54 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-30 05:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]arien, 2005-10-02 02:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sashenka, 2005-09-30 03:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-30 05:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nekoneko, 2005-09-30 06:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]palefire, 2005-10-07 01:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sashenka, 2005-10-07 04:04 am UTC

[info]skarch86
2005-09-30 01:22 am UTC (link)
I'm not crazy about the Killers, but they have some nice songs. That is all I know. However, my English is nowhere near perfect, but these reviews make my eyes bleed. The runaway apostrophes make baby Jesus cry. And I have a sudden urge to introduce these people to the wonder that is the Shift key, which is definitely not the same as the CAPSLOCK one.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

From a fellow non-native English speaker anonymouse - (Anonymous), 2005-09-30 08:28 am UTC
Re: From a fellow non-native English speaker anonymouse - [info]skarch86, 2005-09-30 12:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankismyfandom, 2005-09-30 06:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]skarch86, 2005-09-30 06:37 pm UTC

[info]kami
2005-09-30 01:38 am UTC (link)
Funny how wankers will always find some way to propagate wank. They will break all internet barriers, and do it on any internet medium. It's almost interesting in a sociological way.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]skarch86, 2005-09-30 02:48 am UTC

[info]baskinglizard
2005-09-30 02:14 am UTC (link)
Steve-O is kool, your a deusche

So is that Deutsch, or a douche, or a deuce, or some horrible combination of the three?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]jrandomlurker, 2005-09-30 03:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nima_skysong, 2005-09-30 06:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]majorburns, 2005-09-30 02:13 pm UTC

[info]annaham
2005-09-30 02:20 am UTC (link)
Hrm. My various fandoms have been getting hit right and left over the past few days (and not just on F_W). And now this.

But really, there's nothing funnier than poorly written and poorly spelled amateur CD reviews.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]esclaramonde, 2005-09-30 02:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]annaham, 2005-09-30 02:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_padfoot, 2005-09-30 03:23 am UTC

[info]willywanka
2005-09-30 04:02 am UTC (link)
I hope Brandon Flowers (The Killers lead singer) shows up, he's an incredible wanker.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]annabelle_lee, 2005-09-30 04:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]willywanka, 2005-09-30 05:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_padfoot, 2005-09-30 05:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]willywanka, 2005-09-30 05:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_padfoot, 2005-09-30 06:55 am UTC
re: pledge - verthandi, 2005-09-30 10:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]annabelle_lee, 2005-09-30 08:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]willywanka, 2005-09-30 03:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]quickfade, 2005-09-30 07:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]willywanka, 2005-09-30 07:44 pm UTC

[info]_dinsdale
2005-09-30 04:24 am UTC (link)
*posts with her brandon icon*

Hot Fuss is an awesome cd. Don't judge a band by just one song.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]innsmouth_eyes, 2005-09-30 12:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]here4tehwank, 2005-09-30 05:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]quickfade, 2005-09-30 07:18 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-09-30 04:26 am UTC (link)
Someone really needs to start an [info]amazon_wank community. Because there are so many wanky Amazon.com reviews, not to mention grudge reviews, especially with certain "controversial" topics like politics, religion, and punk rawwk.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]miss_padfoot, 2005-09-30 05:29 am UTC

[info]wrongly_amused
2005-09-30 05:35 am UTC (link)
Why, oh why, did you just have to parody that fucking song? It's been stuck in my head since it came over the loudspeakers at work. How am I supposed to enjoy a good wanking when Britney Spears half-naked snatch is busy flying around my head in a cacophony of sound and chaos?

(Reply to this)


[info]jail
2005-09-30 05:48 am UTC (link)
"GREENDAY IS PUNK ROCK"

*LAUGHS SO HARD*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]wankismyfandom, 2005-09-30 06:19 pm UTC
GREEN DAY IS TOTALLY AWESOME!!1! - [info]arien, 2005-10-02 03:00 am UTC

[info]badger
2005-09-30 06:01 am UTC (link)
Figures. The stupid ones ALWAYS have to come from my state.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]kinneas, 2005-09-30 06:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]badger, 2005-09-30 06:31 pm UTC

[info]speshulduck
2005-09-30 07:30 am UTC (link)
Weird. I was listening to "All These Things That I've Done" and I opened up fandom_wank to find "I've got wank, but I'm not a wanker" right there and in my face. I love having an appropriate soundtrack for the wank.

(Reply to this)


[info]monkeywrench
2005-09-30 08:12 am UTC (link)
GREENDAY IS PUNK ROCK

AND ABBA IS THE GREATEST DEATH METAL BAND EVER. RAWK ON! *airguitars*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amxjm, 2005-09-30 09:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]monkeywrench, 2005-09-30 09:29 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-30 12:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]squib, 2005-09-30 04:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-09-30 09:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]here4tehwank, 2005-09-30 05:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]willywanka, 2005-09-30 07:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]supertetris, 2005-10-01 03:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mreooow, 2005-10-01 03:31 am UTC

[info]miss_padfoot
2005-09-30 08:30 am UTC (link)
I find that trying to classify bands by genre is ridiculous and nearly always wanky. Definitions of genres are so malleable that most people end up defining genres themselves to some extent, and when you're defining your own genre, of course you can make any band fit it!

However, I'd really like to have a discussion about what tends to define certain genres in the minds of most people. What makes something pop-rock instead of just rock? And why do songs that have no trace of rapping get called hip-hop?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]squib, 2005-09-30 04:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_padfoot, 2005-09-30 07:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]squib, 2005-09-30 07:37 pm UTC

[info]coffee_mug
2005-09-30 10:13 am UTC (link)
And change your name man, Steve-O is kool, your a deusche, if steve-o knew you were stealin his name and being a deusche with it, im sure he would kick your old ass.

Wait, what? Steve-O is cool now?

This is the guy who tattooed his own face on his back. Let's keep these things in perspective.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]coffee_mug, 2005-09-30 10:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sahz, 2005-09-30 01:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]entelodont, 2005-09-30 03:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]coffee_mug, 2005-09-30 06:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]issendai, 2005-09-30 07:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]katienichol, 2005-10-01 02:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]coffee_mug, 2005-10-01 12:10 pm UTC

[info]monkeywrench
2005-09-30 01:22 pm UTC (link)
Oh, and to fulfil quickfade's request:

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - coreopsis, 2005-09-30 04:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]here4tehwank, 2005-09-30 05:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]quickfade, 2005-09-30 07:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]monkeywrench, 2005-10-01 02:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jail, 2005-09-30 08:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]madelfdisease, 2005-10-04 07:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]monkeywrench, 2005-10-05 02:22 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-09-30 02:37 pm UTC (link)
any true rock fan would shin this piece of dog turd

I'm just disapointed that he missed a chance for YET MORE CAPSLOCK :

"any TRUE ROCK FAN would SHIN this piece of dog TURD"

(Reply to this)


[info]smo
2005-09-30 04:07 pm UTC (link)
A deusche? Is that like a Porsche?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]speshulduck, 2005-09-30 04:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]amakath, 2005-09-30 10:14 pm UTC

[info]here4tehwank
2005-09-30 05:30 pm UTC (link)
Here's one of my crappy icons with my LJ name on it... does that count?

Brandon Flowers is teh hott.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]quickfade, 2005-09-30 07:20 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-09-30 05:40 pm UTC (link)
May I just say that I LOVE it when 18-year-olds who've watched either too much "Jackass" or too much "SLC PUNK" get together and argue over whether or not it's poser to call yourself Steve-O.

This might be my favorite part of the whole wank.
Followed course, of course, by GREENDAY IS PUNK ROCK!!!111!!, which nearly made me spray coffee all over my computer monitor.

(Reply to this)



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