Gay Porn, Subs v Dubs v Economics 101, and a touch of Naruto bashing
Within one column, Anime News Network has succeeded in poking just about every sore spot in the anime fandom's side. Presented today for your delight: Gay Porn is teh Gross, Piracy is teh Communism, and Naruto Fans are teh Idiots. Of all of these, which do you suppose got the biggest response and which was almost ignored?

For those who aren't familiar with the site, Anime News Network, bastion of "Trusted Anime News," runs a column titled Answerman. The idea is that confused anime fans can write in to Answerman (or, if Answerman is gone for a two-year hiatus, Mrs. Answerman) and get answers to their burning questions, which range from "Why do superheroes come in groups of five?" to "When's the second season of Fruits Basket coming out?"

The Answerman column has always had a bit of satire to it, but lately it's been going less from answering questions to insulting the questioners. For example, a polite question about where to find yaoi anime similar to Kyou Kara Maoh and Gravitation was met with the following:

I'll be nice; you seem like a reasonable person, but let me set the record straight: I am not homosexual, and cannot recommend to you a good gay porn title. You have my apologies. There are some questions I just can't answer, and "which anime gives me the hottest man-on-man action" is one of them.

The comments thread has mixed reactions, and contains our first "If you don't like it, don't read it."

Answerman defends his response and inadvertently proves that he could have, in fact, answered the question at the same time:

She was pretty clearly asking me for "shows in which more than just meaningful glances are exchanged". She wanted porn. ... I wasn't attacking the genre and the reader wasn't asking for shows like Maria-sama ga Miteru, she was asking about stuff like Level-C where it's explicit sex. Read the letter. She wasn't asking for love stories.


Now, in today's column, someone writes in to ask about subs v dubs. A perfectly safe topic, of course.

The people you're talking about arguing with are a new breed of "fan" (although I hesitate to call them that) out there right now, created mostly by the proliferation of anime via bittorrent. They make a number of wacky claims, like anime companies are all evil behemoths who exist solely to drain your wallet, that all commercial translations are incorrect, that dubs "butcher" the spirit of the original Japanese version and that anime is created under some bizarre bohemian ideal that it should be totally free and readily available to anyone who wants it. Their general attitude is that anyone trying to make a buck off of anime is an evil capitalist pig-dog who disrespect and mutilate their untouchable sacred artwork.

He goes on about the quality of fansubs, people only liking subs because they can't understand enough Japanese to know if the actors are any good, and communism, and ends the whole thing on this authoritative note:

Real anime fans support the shows they love by buying the legitimate DVD release. Period.

Well, that probably won't cause any negative reactions! Just in case that wasn't enough, though, his choice for "Flake of the Week" is a "Narutard." Oddly enough, very few people object to the Naruto bashing, but, dude! He called fansubs trash! The fiend!

Some people object to the comments about quality:

ladholyman: Half-assed? Gaudy? Have you seen fansubs? And if fansubbers aren't fans, why would they work their asses off for several hours poring over vdub filters, ssa timing schemes, and karaoke? Fans? Oh yes I think they are fans.

darkhunter: They do it so simple-minded guys like you would adore them and admire them. Nowadays, fansubbing seem more like a popularity contest.

Some people write lengthy posts about the evil fans who share shows after they've been licensed.

Some people self-righteously agree with Answerman.

ACDragonMaster: Hate to break it to ya, but Answerman is RIGHT about the whole fansub issue. Too many people treat fansubs as some great end-all authority, which they're not. They're amatuer translations and efforts, and they are, technically, illegal.

Some people determine Answerman to have an anti-Fansub agenda and note the corporate tones of the recently introduced DVD giveaway each week.

lazuline: So when did Mr. Bertschy decide to become the Bill 'O Riley of anime journalism? It has now become clear that the Answerman column has an underlying agenda, for with each new column, the number of attacks against fansubs groups and the internet community have increased and become steadily more abrasive(read meaner).

...Doesn't the caption constest seem more like a marketing tool for the DVD being given away? Why include the distributor and the price of the DVD? ... As one who has witnessed first handed the growth and evolution of the ANN, it saddens me to see "the internet's most trusted anime news source" favoring the interests of what would appear to be the Anime licensing companies rather than the interests of its readers.

For good measure, some people claim anime sales are falling drastically due to BT.

jsevakis: Fansubs are absolutely hurting DVD sales these days. If you talk to studio people and look at their numbers, the drop-off in sales of all but Cartoon Network-friendly crossover series after Bittorrent became commonplace is pretty frightening.

And some say the column is only offensive if you're the one being made fun of:

Keonyn: Give me a break, nothing he stated was immature or inflammatory unless you are one of the people guilty of the specific crime he brought up. Like it or not, his article was very much about the ethics of it and if you took offense to it then it's likey you're guilty of it. It still is an informative column, you just don't agree with it now and became oversensitive in regards to it.

Such arguments continue, including the serious charge of abuse of the readers, a sweeping generalization of China, and welfare.

Well, at least it's being kept just to the one thread, right? No need to air dirty laundry in public? At least it's not being brought in to the spotlight with a Front Page Editorial, right?

So get it through your head, if you download fansubs and also support the industry with purchases, Zac wasn't calling you "despicable and hypocritical." Hell, he wasn't even calling you despicable and hypocritical if you download fansubs and don't buy anything. The only people he was calling despicable and hypocritical are those that create a bunch of lies and false beliefs in order to give themselves an excuse for not paying for anime. If you aren't one of those people, Zac didn't call you anything. He didn't say you were a bad person, and he didn't say you were a good person, he said absolutely nothing at all about you.

Get it?

Oh, and for the record, I haven't said anything about you either.

And the wank explodes. Further. This time, money and class warfare become the big issues.

My favorite comment:

dormcat: Most soccer-playing kids in Brazilian slums regard Pele as a living God, yet few could afford any merchandise related to him. The only thing they could afford in order to show their support and gratitute of Pele's inspiration is to become the next Pele by practicing soccer.

And last but not least:

Aaron White: Lazuline and Steroid; so entitled. You know why you think you're entitled to unlimited free anime? Because YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO WORK HARD AND APPLY CAREFULLY HONED TALENT IN ORDER TO CREATE SOMETHING SPECIAL. If you did you wouldn't toss off such spurious and economically ignorant justifications of piracy. I've met a few of the "Piracy is okay!" crowd, and without exception they've always been total milk babies, which is why I ironically somewhat agree with you; you should have a sugar tap giving you unlimited free entertainment; it keeps you where you belong, out of my way. Stay in mommy's basement and download your anime, sweethearts. Don't come outside in that scary painful sunlight and engage life. In the wise words of Brother Zappa, "You ain't really made for being out in the street; ain't much hope for a fool like you, 'cause if you play the game you will get beat."