(Post a new comment)

	croupier 2003-06-28 07:34 pm UTC (link)
	LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!!!!!! This is more fun than CAP Alert! (Reply to this)

singe 2003-06-28 07:57 pm UTC (link)

"Furthermore, this type of human sacrifice (the mandrakes being cut up and stewed) is actually needed in some types of spells and magic. A former Black Magick Satanist has emailed to inform me: "The flying potions main ingredient is the fat from a sacrificed unbaptised male child below a certain age. This potion, once completed, will allow the witch or warlock that consumes it the ability to fly. This is, I am sure, where witches flying on brooms came from." The next time you see a witch flying a broomstick, you will know that a human being paid for this ability with their life! Once again, we can see that author Rowling thoroughly understands Witchcraft. She gets her Witchcraft correct in the Harry Potter books. The next time I see a what?! In the books or out my window? Geez Louise. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	oxydosic 2003-06-28 08:11 pm UTC (link)
	I'm assuming he meant the books, but you never know. But think of the implications...wizards routinely eat small children so they can fly on broomsticks! *in Fat Bastard voice* Baby, it's what's for dinner! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - hi_yo_tinfoil, 2003-06-28 09:43 pm UTC

(no subject) - iczer6, 2003-06-29 01:13 am UTC

(no subject) - singe, 2003-06-29 12:43 am UTC

(no subject) - nekoneko, 2003-06-29 06:05 am UTC

(no subject) - singe, 2003-06-29 08:41 am UTC

(no subject) - valarltd, 2003-06-29 06:14 am UTC

Re: - singe, 2003-06-29 08:43 am UTC

(no subject) - rann, 2003-06-29 12:46 am UTC

valarltd 2003-06-29 06:13 am UTC (link)

Actually, according to my copy of Man, Myth and Magic (a dubious, and sometimes apocryphal source, but hey, nekkid people!) and the witch trial testimonies, the fat of an unbaptized male child *was* used to make flying ointment. The witches of the middle ages combined it with a variety of herbs (many hallucinogenic), rubbed it over their naked bodies during an orgiastic Sabbat, and spent hours tripping and believing they were flying and wrecking havoc and having sex with the devil. At least, this was what was told the inquisitors, who had a better notion of what was expected of a proper coven than the average midwife/herbwife/local schizophrenic who fell into his clutches. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: - singe, 2003-06-29 08:38 am UTC

	mrbimble 2003-06-30 08:18 pm UTC (link)
	Is it too much to expect him to realize that Mandrakes are ... PLANTS, not human????? Stewing mandrakes is like... cooking beans? Has nothing to do with human sacrifices? Oh, that's right, we can't let logic interfere with a really good anti-Harry Potter rant! **sheesh** (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: - singe, 2003-06-30 09:34 pm UTC

ipomoea 2003-06-28 08:28 pm UTC (link)

In NEWS1377, we proved that the Harry Potter series of books teaches children the highest level of witchcraft attainable; we know this to be true because Harry has achieved the Sorcerer's Stone, representative of the Fifth and final level of Transmutation of the Soul. At this level, a witch can communicate with the dead at will, can command demons with ease, and can perform astral travel. Your children are learning this extremely high level of witchcraft, if you are letting them read these books. Riiiiiight. Here's a little definition I found for the religious wackos people who run that site. fic·tion n. 1. a. An imaginative creation or a pretense that does not represent actuality but has been invented. b. The act of inventing such a creation or pretense. 2. A lie. 3. a. A literary work whose content is produced by the imagination and is not necessarily based on fact. b. The category of literature comprising works of this kind, including novels and short stories. 4. Law. Something untrue that is intentionally represented as true by the narrator. Green-- this color is a favorite of Satan, and is repeatedly used as a symbol of his power and glory So... if I've got green eyes, like Harry, and all those eeeeevil Dark Magick Slytherins the essayist talked about, I guess that makes me a minion of the Devil too. Oh. My. God. SATAN HAD HIS KEY IN MY LOCK!!!! Just think, I've been marked all this time, and didn't know it! Thank you, you whackjobs, for showing me the one true path to righteousness. I must gouge out these evil eyes of mine right now to spare myself from reading any more of this wankery! Also, the Salvation page they keep plugging has a few gems of its own (especially number 6). Born-again Christianity: It's like WD-40, in a way. (Reply to this)(Thread)

(Reply from suspended user)

(no subject) - iczer6, 2003-06-29 03:17 am UTC

(Reply from suspended user)

(no subject) - jerry_ds_girl, 2003-06-29 04:10 am UTC

(no subject) - jfpbookworm, 2003-06-29 08:32 pm UTC

(no subject) - jerry_ds_girl, 2003-06-30 04:32 am UTC

(no subject) - iris, 2003-06-29 07:44 am UTC

darkrose 2003-06-28 11:25 pm UTC (link)

Harry has achieved the Sorcerer's Stone, representative of the Fifth and final level of Transmutation of the Soul. At this level, a witch can communicate with the dead at will, can command demons with ease, and can perform astral travel. Your children are learning this extremely high level of witchcraft, if you are letting them read these books. I must be a slow learner, because despite having read the books repeatedly, the dead only tell me to shut up and quit bothering then, the only demons I seem able to command are UNIX ones, and whenever I attempt astral travel, I always end up in Hoboken. (Reply to this)(Parent)

virago 2003-06-28 11:47 pm UTC (link)

They explain that allllll away by saying that Satanists believe that reality and fantasy are the same. Um-huh. And next we will define "projection." Dude, I'm not even a fan of the books - I've read about one and a half of them so far - and this irritates me. That evil unicorn is pretty frickin' cool, though. And I love this part of the outline of the first book: X. Miscellaneous Disgusting Events That just says so much. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - rann, 2003-06-29 12:49 am UTC

(no subject) - oxydosic, 2003-06-29 02:33 am UTC

(no subject) - jerry_ds_girl, 2003-06-29 03:59 am UTC

(no subject) - valarltd, 2003-06-29 06:16 am UTC

(no subject) - iris, 2003-06-29 07:46 am UTC

(no subject) - puipui, 2003-06-30 06:05 am UTC

(no subject) - covermyeyes, 2003-07-02 09:20 am UTC

gelasius 2003-06-28 11:58 pm UTC (link)

Your children are learning this extremely high level of witchcraft, if you are letting them read these books. Damn, I've been reading the wrong books! Where can I get me Harry Potter and Witchcraft:101, where I can actually learn how to perform Transmutation of the Soul? That'd be so fricking cool! I'm even still working on the flying thing - I can hold my hand over my broomstick and shout "up" at it for hours, and nothing happens. Maybe I missed something in the instructions. Hmm, better go back and check. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - ipomoea, 2003-06-29 01:11 am UTC

Re: - gelasius, 2003-06-29 01:15 am UTC

(no subject) - amandatwop, 2003-06-30 04:14 am UTC

(no subject) - chash, 2003-06-29 06:57 am UTC

Re: - gelasius, 2003-06-29 06:59 am UTC

Re: - chash, 2003-06-29 07:47 am UTC

Re: - gelasius, 2003-06-29 07:49 am UTC

Re: - chash, 2003-06-29 06:22 pm UTC

	jerry_ds_girl 2003-06-29 04:16 am UTC (link)
	Satan has his key in my lock! I wonder if he has any idea how absolutely dirty that phrase could sound? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - darthhellokitty, 2003-06-29 04:41 am UTC

(no subject) - valarltd, 2003-06-29 06:16 am UTC

	chash 2003-06-28 09:00 pm UTC (link)
	I'm particularly fond of the way that Potions class is all about making drugs. I want Snape to show them how to make Wizard Weed (tm). (Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - rann, 2003-06-29 12:49 am UTC

(no subject) - gelasius, 2003-06-29 01:16 am UTC

Re: - rann, 2003-06-29 01:22 am UTC

(no subject) - valarltd, 2003-06-29 06:17 am UTC

iczer6 2003-06-28 09:36 pm UTC (link)

>>1. While these certainly look like fully formed human babies, they are presented as NOT human, but only the root system of the Mandrake plant.>> [Edited] Anyone else find it rather amusing that since this theory makes the most sense they really CAN'T find anyway to undermine it? The part I edited out was them comparing the Mandrake roots to Abortion. Yes you read that right, comparing a magical creature from a fantasy novel to friggin abortion. There's only ONE way to handle these people! STABSTABSTABSTABSTABSTABSTABSTABSTABSTABSTABSTAB! Icz (Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - chash, 2003-06-28 10:07 pm UTC

(no subject) - pyratejenni, 2003-06-28 10:09 pm UTC

PS - pyratejenni, 2003-06-28 10:11 pm UTC

Re: PS - iczer6, 2003-06-28 11:11 pm UTC

	lulinda 2003-06-29 12:21 am UTC (link)
	HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This guy is funny! Just like Betty Bowers! I don't want to know if he's serious! (Reply to this)

rowan 2003-06-29 12:30 am UTC (link)

Rar. I'm almost ashamed that these people profess to honor the same diety that I do. >_< When I started reading the HP books, my mother went ballistic, spouting uninformed hearsay kind of like this wank (only not as obviously insane). She stomped online to go to her most respected source to prove the evil to me... ... and found only a very coherent, calmly-written essay about how the books are fiction, fantasy, and should be read to younger children with parental guidance offered if needed, like one would handle any sort of media. HAH. Good thing, too. I'd hate to think every percieved 'representative' of my religion had his head up his arse. >_ (Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - valarltd, 2003-06-29 02:23 am UTC

(no subject) - amasaglajax, 2003-06-29 05:33 am UTC

(no subject) - valarltd, 2003-06-29 06:08 am UTC

(no subject) - zannechaos, 2003-06-29 07:53 am UTC

(no subject) - snowball, 2003-06-29 09:32 am UTC

(no subject) - zannechaos, 2003-06-29 09:38 am UTC

valarltd 2003-06-29 02:30 am UTC (link)

The sun rises and sets and hastens back to where he rose. There is nothing new under the sun. Actually, Calvin Miller, a well-respected Christian fantasist, came out with evil unicorns as well. (Only evil because it was a false idol) Looney tunes. These people AREN'T going on the Rapture, and will never understand why not. They are legalists, pharisees of Christianity, embracing every prohibition, rejecting the underlying love. (Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - pyratejenni, 2003-06-29 05:05 am UTC

(no subject) - valarltd, 2003-06-29 06:18 am UTC

(no subject) - harukami, 2003-07-03 03:50 am UTC

(no subject) - valarltd, 2003-07-03 05:09 am UTC

(no subject) - harukami, 2003-07-03 05:12 am UTC

(no subject) - valarltd, 2003-07-03 06:29 am UTC

(no subject) - harukami, 2003-07-03 06:41 am UTC

(no subject) - valarltd, 2003-07-03 06:51 am UTC

maddiesuebean 2003-06-29 02:52 am UTC (link)

This isn't a joke? Because, dear lord, it sounds like one. Seriously. I wrote a faux-intellectual 'essay' on the poems a friend of mine wrote when she was little and it sounds just like this in tone, exactly the same kind of reaching for arguments that don't make any goddamn sense. Satan likes green? Eleven is an evil number? Wait, SATAN LIKES GREEN, therefore Harry Potter is evil. My fake-ass essay makes more sense than this. It's not as funny, though. *goes to make 'Satan likes green' icon* (Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - virago, 2003-07-01 01:58 am UTC

	amandatwop 2003-06-29 04:13 am UTC (link)
	My favorite part is that Sirius=Satan. Imagine telling the mourners that! (Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - jar, 2003-06-29 07:19 am UTC

(no subject) - hugsnkisses, 2003-06-29 11:47 pm UTC

(no subject) - amandatwop, 2003-06-30 04:05 am UTC

(no subject) - hugsnkisses, 2003-06-30 10:05 am UTC

(no subject) - amandatwop, 2003-06-30 11:19 pm UTC

	darthhellokitty 2003-06-29 04:46 am UTC (link)
	I would think young girls, especially, would be especially troubled in their emotions by this spectacle of murdering young teenagers simply and only to get the stew meat necessary to make this witches potion. That is just soooo sexist. (Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - chash, 2003-06-29 06:59 am UTC

	nekoneko 2003-06-29 06:17 am UTC (link)
	Did anyone else get the vibe that a Phoenix was Jesus Christ and Lucifer, at the same time? Or was that just me? (Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - valarltd, 2003-06-29 06:36 am UTC

	valarltd 2003-06-29 06:45 am UTC (link)
	actual plant book illo of a Mandrake http://hsc.virginia.edu/hs-library/historical/herb/ger3.html Photos: http://www.planetherbs.net/plants/mandrake.htm\ Augh! Those are May Apples! they grew everywhere at my old Girl Scout Camp. We must have all been cannibalistic witches! (Reply to this)

	lynstraine 2003-06-29 06:47 am UTC (link)
	I cannot read this. It brings the vomit. n_n (Reply to this)

	j_crew_guy 2003-06-30 06:44 am UTC (link)
	I showed that page to a friend who's never read the HP books. His reaction? "Oooh, that IS a cool looking unicorn. I want to read HP now. Thank you fundamentalist Christians." (Reply to this)

harukami 2003-07-01 09:53 am UTC (link)

Heeeeh. WOW is that wanky. Passed the link on to a friend, who asked me to post this in comments (As he's got no Journalfen journal): Caleb says "Ah. Would you mind posting it on my behalf? Maybe a link to my lj (Note: LJ user - jhyanmar) with "Heh. Saw this thanks to the friend who's posting it. I'd like to direct you all to http://www.theescapist.com/random011102.htm . The Escapist is an online gamer advocacy site, that deals with stupid things like this involving RPGs all the time. The link in question is the the webmaster/editor's "attempt" to cast Harry Potter and D&D spells- very funny, and intentionally so as he's pointing out that (gasp) IT JUST AIN'T THERE!"" ...my duty complete, I go to catch up on the posts I'm behind on. (Reply to this)

	caribbeanblue 2003-08-05 10:54 pm UTC (link)
	I knew I should've checked the archives here before I went and mocked the first review. *hangs head in shame* M (Reply to this)