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Birdy ([info]skewed_tartan) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2005-11-04 20:55:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Fan-Fucking-tastic

Ah, The Wank has Come.
You knew it was only a matter of time folks.

The Wank of Anne Rice's Newest Novel is Here!



Rather than argue over the facts and artistic liberties in Anne Rice's book, how about discussing the book itself - a work of fiction? Everyone has a different viewpoint of theology - none of us will agree on anything. But try suspending all that you 'know' about Christ and general history, and enjoy the book for what it is - a STORY.

So touchingly naive.

Some of these reviews leave me speechless. Now, I am only 20 years old and definitely not a theologian, but it is obvious from some of these reviews that a good amount of the negative reviews were made by people who have never read the book, but have a deep hatred for Jesus and Christianity in general. I will admit I was puzzled to hear that Anne was writing a book about Jesus, but now I can say I am extremely grateful that she did. Her passion for Christ bleeds through the pages of this book and her passion, nor her book deserves to be dismissed simply because it is about Christ. How dare you people come onto this website and criticize a book you have never read! I'm asking those of you who are reading these reviews to see whether or not you should read this book to give the book a chance. This book is a real blessing and I thank you Anne for writing it!

Seth Phillips
StereotypeBe@msn.com


I never thought I'd live to see the day a Christian would thank Anne Rice for writing something.


The story of Christ has been called The Greatest Story Ever Told. There is now a book out called (I'm not making this up) The Greatest White Trash Love Story Ever Told.

Zing!


Look what happens when an "artist" gets religion. Like Mel Gibson, they lose what personal shine they had (and Rice had lost her gloss long ago) and begin to vibrate with second hand vision and second rate insight as they second-guess the "truth" they place in the mouth of the man they consider their diety, their God. A truly gruesome sight. This is going to be a trilogy? Pity the trees.

I pity more than them myself.

You people that are going on and on about Anne Rice's change in writing are being ridiculous.

Stop whining. Seriously, what is your problem? What kind of fans are you? Lord forbid she changes her genre... How long could the Vampire Chronicles go on? They are not "lost". She has not "forgotten them". All good stories must come to an end.

Just because Anne Rice's writing has changed does not mean she is no longer a talented author. Those of you that say that obviously don't know a thing about writing... Talent like she has does not melt away because of such a trivial thing as "religion".

You are saying these things because you think your beloved "Vampire Chronicles" are gone. Are they still on your bookshelf? Can you physically pick them up and turn the pages? Good. Now stop being selfish and be happy that she has found something that has given her a sense of peace in life. She deserves it.


Them's fightin' words!




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[info]napoleon
2005-11-05 07:09 am UTC (link)
Unfortunately, none of her fans will read these messages. Because they are all out bartending. At a goth club. In the dark.

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[info]schmendrick
2005-11-05 07:11 am UTC (link)
Thank you, sweet Jesus.

I have been waiting so long for this wank to break.

I remember when we Fandom Wankers were mere voices crying in the wilderness, preparing the way for that which was to come.

Let alone to baptize in splooge, we are not worthy to strap on the sandle of Lestat, Anne Rice, Christ.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dandywolves, 2005-11-05 07:42 am UTC
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[info]out_bottle
2005-11-05 07:19 am UTC (link)
Her passion for Christ bleeds through the pages of this book

A little club soda will take that right out.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]carlanime, 2005-11-05 06:05 pm UTC
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[info]snerkfen
2005-11-05 07:21 am UTC (link)
She's finally gone bonkers - and we can say it legitimately this time.

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[info]mailea
2005-11-05 07:25 am UTC (link)
Like Mel Gibson, they lose what personal shine they had (and Rice had lost her gloss long ago) and begin to vibrate with second hand vision

Was I the only one who pictured Anne with her Battery Operated Boyfriend during this sentence?

*crickets*

*bleaches brain*

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[info]haunted
2005-11-05 07:30 am UTC (link)
...and begin to vibrate with second hand vision and second rate insight as they second-guess the "truth" they place in the mouth of the man they consider their diety, their God.

I think I want to agree with this guy, because he's making fun of her, and that's okay, but...I don't understand what he's saying. Anne Rice is vibrating with visions? Is she possessed? She's putting "truth" in the mouth of her deity? Is truth in inverted commas because it's a euphemism? What is she putting in Jesus' mouth?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]atalantapendrag, 2005-11-05 07:32 am UTC
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[info]atalantapendrag
2005-11-05 07:32 am UTC (link)
This is going to be a trilogy? Pity the trees.

Even The Lorax is sick of Anne Rice!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]drworm, 2005-11-05 07:37 am UTC
Icon Alert! - [info]xturtle, 2005-11-05 08:46 am UTC
Re: Icon Alert! - [info]sisterelwood, 2005-11-05 08:50 am UTC
Re: Icon Alert! - [info]ourself, 2005-11-05 09:19 am UTC
Re: Icon Alert! - [info]xturtle, 2005-11-05 10:23 am UTC
... - [info]ourself, 2005-11-05 11:16 am UTC

[info]selene_avis
2005-11-05 07:41 am UTC (link)
I will admit I was puzzled to hear that Anne was writing a book about Jesus

Understatement of the year.

(The sad thing? I'll probably end up reading Rice's book, just to see how horrible it is.)

Jesus Christ as a Homoerotic Vampire!

I made this ages ago. If my l33t paint skills didn't make it clear, 'tis Jesus Christ...as a homoerotic vampire. (Trust me, if it didn't happen in the first book, Rice will pull it off by the end.)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]schmendrick, 2005-11-05 08:47 am UTC
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(Anonymous)
2005-11-05 07:48 am UTC (link)
*reads some of the wank* Eep, talk about vicious... and all over a damn book. *rolls eyes* These people need a reality check.

-sisterelwood

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]justicepeckham, 2005-11-05 08:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sisterelwood, 2005-11-05 08:13 am UTC
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(no subject) - [info]rachelmap, 2005-11-05 10:36 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-11-05 08:09 am UTC (link)
Why does this comes as such a surprise to the wankers? The direction of Rice's work was evdient in her last book of the Vampire Chronicles. *Which is over, so get over it* She turned Lestat into a version of her former self. As a child Rice had wanted to become a saint herself.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]snerkfen, 2005-11-05 08:17 am UTC
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[info]ninja_stripper
2005-11-05 08:23 am UTC (link)
Now, now, everyone. Don't you know you aren't reading the text from the right proletarian soul? You're insulting her perspective! Wait...no, I got that wrong somewhere, didn't I?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]innsmouth_eyes, 2005-11-05 08:28 am UTC
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(no subject) - [info]kalika_maxwell, 2005-11-05 11:56 pm UTC

[info]innsmouth_eyes
2005-11-05 08:26 am UTC (link)
Heh, I'm amazed it took this long for the wank to explode.

I had read a few exerpts a bit before the book came out, and was extremely underwhelmed with how horrifically mediocre it was. I mean, it wasn't even bad, it was just blah. The writing has no style at all. Even urple would have better. The rest of the book isn't really any better. I know it's supposed to have been written from the point of view of a child, but children don't talk that way.

I don't like to assume that when an artist finds a passion for religion that they automatically get bad, but this is a drastic decline in writing style, and this is from somebody who thought her previous work sucked big weenie. At least it had personality then.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]roswellingram, 2005-11-05 01:22 pm UTC

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[info]adora_spintriae
2005-11-05 08:27 am UTC (link)
Poor Ms Rice has certainly lost her once considerable powers!!!

Somehow, I doubt she's lost her Super Duper Magic Power of Wank.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sisterelwood, 2005-11-05 08:29 am UTC

[info]lovelyzelda
2005-11-05 08:28 am UTC (link)
a deep hatred for Jesus and Christianity in general.

Well, if I wanted to read that, I'd wait for a link to a story on evolution to turn up on FARK. Or an article about Christmas. Or the deep South. Or pretty much anything that can't possibly turn into a political flamewar.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2005-11-05 08:47 am UTC (link)
Question is, if she's now a true believer, will she forgive those who write negative reviews? Will she smile and turn the other cheek?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sisterelwood, 2005-11-05 08:49 am UTC
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[info]kami
2005-11-05 09:00 am UTC (link)
So, if you don't like this book, give it one star, admit it wasn't your cup of tea and perhaps offer an alternative that others may enjoy instead. It's time to put away the religious soapboxes.

There is an oxymoron in there somewhere.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sisterelwood, 2005-11-05 09:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cat_mcdougall, 2005-11-05 05:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sisterelwood, 2005-11-05 08:22 pm UTC
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[info]arielchan
2005-11-05 09:07 am UTC (link)
I'm trying to decide if my TWS is bad enough for me to actually read this thing considering that I pretty much gave up on the Chronicles after Memnoch and didn't read anything after Merrick.

I fear that in a few days I will find myself eyeballing it at the library, a pad of post-its for amusing annotations in one hand and a lighter in the other, just in case.

Honestly, I just want to see if she keeps up her continuity. In Memnoch, Lestat went back in time and met Jesus. I want to see if Jesus ever meets Lestat. ;)

~*Ariel*~

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[info]radiotrash
2005-11-05 09:16 am UTC (link)
I'm just kinda amused at the " Buy Christ the Lord : Out of Egypt and get The Vampire Encyclopedia at an additional 5% off Amazon.com's everyday low price." thing.

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[info]beandelphiki
2005-11-05 09:49 am UTC (link)
Talent like she has does not melt away because of such a trivial thing as "religion".

ORSON SCOTT CARD.

*weeps*

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[info]schmendrick
2005-11-05 09:52 am UTC (link)
I'm sorry; I just can't help myself here. This is too good.

One reviewer objects,

As for Ms. Rice's book, the novel is a very enjoyable and well-informed read. And for someone like myself steeped for 25-plus years in biblical scholarship, the early church documents, and ancient Christian and Roman history her 17-page "Author's Note" in the back is, by itself, worth the price of the book.


Hi, Anne! Knew you'd show up.

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shirokumo
2005-11-05 10:09 am UTC (link)
Hahahaha, her books may be shitty, but at least I can enjoy the wank. :) She always was insane but now she has finally outed herself. Thumbs up for her courage. XD
And because I am one of these people that can not stop looking at trainwrecks maybe I'll read this book for the sheer wtf?-value.

I never thought I'd live to see the day a Christian would thank Anne Rice for writing something.

Me, neither. o_O

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[info]zannechaos
2005-11-05 10:19 am UTC (link)
Not that I really care for Bible!fic or anything myself... but...

...does this mean Anne's going to go after Bibleficcers now for playing in her shiny new fandom the way she did before?

This should be fun.

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[info]spleen
2005-11-05 11:13 am UTC (link)
Just because Anne Rice's writing has changed does not mean she is no longer a talented author.

No, it doesn't. Because that'd sort of imply she was, and I quote, "a talented author" at some point.

I'd actually love to read the book, if only to see if it has those train-wrecky qualities that keep me going back to Dan Brown's "works" for, y'know, shit n' giggles.

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bankai
2005-11-05 12:51 pm UTC (link)
This is going to be a trilogy? Pity the trees.

Man. If only Ents were real. You know they'd regulate on the Anne Rice lovers.

And what a lovely sight that would be.

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