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Pyrate Jenni ([info]pyratejenni) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2005-11-17 21:29:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:meme origins

"OMG YOU MEEANIES!" When Pros Turn Wanky
Found this on [info]fanthropology.

RoC gave away excerpts from Touched By Venom, by Jeanine Cross at this year's World Fantasy Conference WFC is primarily a conference for professional fantasy writers and editors. Writers, editors and reviews read it,find it hideous, and spawn impromptu readings a la Eye of Argon for the rest of the convention. Cheryl Morgan mentions this in her blog, and Ballantine/DelRay's Assistant Publicity Director Colleen Lindsay responds. She says there's no mention of "venom cock" in the book, and that WFC is just a little con full of nobodies.

A reviewer, John Joseph Adams, proves Colleen wrong. Meanwhile, other people point out WFC had 900 people, and is mostly a professional conference.

Colleen's response? Anything under 10,000 is a little con and a little con-goer sneered at my publisher, so we hates them, my precious, we hates them forever!

Moved from [info]otf_wank because it got the okay -- can't cross the streams!.




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[info]meril
2005-11-18 04:29 am UTC (link)
Hmm. Someone should have sent Ms. Lindsay the immortal advice of Strong Bad: "You're only making yourself look worse, you know."

I just hope Del Rey doesn't ever put her in charge of manga publicity. Or maybe I do, because the Anime on DVD gang will produce wank-a-plenty in that case.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]charmian, 2005-11-18 05:05 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-11-18 08:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]charmian, 2005-11-18 08:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]meril, 2005-11-18 11:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]silrana, 2005-11-18 02:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nekoneko, 2005-11-18 04:10 pm UTC
The handyman's secret weapon: - [info]smo, 2005-11-18 04:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]alina_kalime, 2005-11-18 10:13 pm UTC

[info]darkrose
2005-11-18 04:43 am UTC (link)
I'm loving the "Worldcon is just a big trade show" bit myself.

VENOM COCK????

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]waltraute, 2005-11-18 05:00 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-11-18 05:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]darkrose, 2005-11-18 07:39 am UTC

[info]honorh
2005-11-18 05:02 am UTC (link)
The "venom cock" excerpt was enough to make me twitch. It's like bad fanfic, only published. Life's not fair.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]aycelcus, 2005-11-18 05:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rogue, 2005-11-18 05:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nebbieq, 2005-11-18 07:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seto_fangirl, 2005-11-18 01:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mrbimble, 2005-11-18 03:04 pm UTC

[info]baskinglizard
2005-11-18 05:08 am UTC (link)
This showed up on [info]scottlynch's lj a couple days ago too. He asks his readership to explain: I would Google, but... the results that would be sure to pop up... you know."

Colleen Lindsay shows up here in the comments, claiming that 'this is the kind of crap that makes me avoid small cons.' e_e

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2005-11-18 05:12 am UTC (link)
WFC is a "small con"? WTF?? What is that woman on? Honey, it's not how many people attend, but who is attending that makes a professional conference. Way to set a good image for any writers looking to publish.

What an immortal jackass.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]silrana, 2005-11-18 02:06 pm UTC
It makes sense, in its own special way... - [info]issendai, 2005-11-18 06:41 pm UTC
Re: It makes sense, in its own special way... - (Anonymous), 2005-11-19 05:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]diane_duane, 2005-11-18 07:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pyratejenni, 2005-11-18 07:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]diane_duane, 2005-11-18 08:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pyratejenni, 2005-11-18 08:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-11-19 05:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rimrunner, 2005-11-19 06:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]naienko, 2005-11-20 04:48 am UTC
Owwwwwwww
[info]eli_eli_oh
2005-11-18 05:46 am UTC (link)
That excerpt is beautiful...beautiful with lines like:

"Unwise whilte in the presence of so much masculinity to mock the phallus."

and

"Understand, women do not rever the venom cock as men do."

So, not only have I laughed until my sides hurt, but I've got two new words in my vocabulary.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Owwwwwwww - [info]nebbieq, 2005-11-18 07:11 am UTC
Re: Owwwwwwww - [info]lurker32, 2005-11-18 08:03 am UTC
Re: Owwwwwwww - [info]honorh, 2005-11-18 08:13 am UTC
Re: Owwwwwwww - (Anonymous), 2005-11-18 08:16 am UTC
Re: Owwwwwwww - [info]lurker32, 2005-11-18 11:30 pm UTC
Re: Owwwwwwww - (Anonymous), 2005-11-18 08:14 am UTC
Re: Owwwwwwww - [info]slackerbitch, 2005-11-18 04:05 pm UTC
Venom Cock! - [info]fevered_ego, 2005-11-18 08:24 am UTC
Re: Venom Cock! - [info]platedlizard, 2005-11-18 08:37 am UTC
Re: Venom Cock! - [info]khym_chanur, 2005-11-19 08:34 am UTC
Re: Owwwwwwww - (Anonymous), 2005-11-18 09:47 pm UTC
Re: Owwwwwwww - [info]ilpalazzo, 2005-11-19 09:16 am UTC

hereforthewank
2005-11-18 06:17 am UTC (link)
I'd ask how something that terrible got published, but Brian Herbert managed to publish like a million Dune bastardizations with grammar errors a five year old could catch so...
Maybe there's hope for me after all!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]nebbieq, 2005-11-18 07:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hangingfire, 2005-11-18 06:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - hereforthewank, 2005-11-18 08:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hangingfire, 2005-11-18 09:13 pm UTC
here it is! - [info]alastor, 2005-11-19 02:17 am UTC
Re: here it is! - hereforthewank, 2005-11-19 03:08 am UTC
Re: here it is! - [info]nights_mistress, 2005-11-19 12:00 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-11-18 06:31 am UTC (link)
K, as a Kirkus reviewer? I'm *appalled* at the unprofessionalism of the reviewer in question. Almost as appalled as I am by the book.

Okay, nowhere near as much as I'm appalled by the book.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]innsmouth_eyes, 2005-11-18 09:36 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-11-19 04:31 am UTC

[info]fevered_ego
2005-11-18 06:53 am UTC (link)
*Joins the army of people completely dumbstruck by the existence of a writer who thinks using a phrase like 'venom cock' is practical at any point during her career*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mister_terrific, 2005-11-18 09:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ymfaery, 2005-11-19 04:25 am UTC

[info]evanwaters
2005-11-18 07:02 am UTC (link)
Note to self: Send results of my NaNo to Del Rey. Don't bother proofreading.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]somnambulicious, 2005-11-18 07:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]txvoodoo, 2005-11-18 08:13 am UTC
:) see for yourself - [info]delcj, 2005-11-18 08:29 am UTC
Re: :) see for yourself - [info]txvoodoo, 2005-11-18 08:38 am UTC
Re: :) see for yourself - [info]phosfate, 2005-11-18 05:37 pm UTC
Re: :) see for yourself - [info]teratologist, 2005-11-18 05:46 pm UTC
Re: :) see for yourself - [info]phosfate, 2005-11-18 05:47 pm UTC
Re: :) see for yourself - [info]ciaan, 2005-11-18 09:36 pm UTC
Re: :) see for yourself - [info]phosfate, 2005-11-18 09:38 pm UTC
Re: :) see for yourself - [info]teratologist, 2005-11-18 10:14 pm UTC
Re: :) see for yourself - [info]ciaan, 2005-11-18 11:15 pm UTC
Re: :) see for yourself - [info]phosfate, 2005-11-18 11:16 pm UTC
Re: :) see for yourself - [info]ciaan, 2005-11-18 11:18 pm UTC
Re: :) see for yourself - [info]carlanime, 2005-11-18 09:10 pm UTC
Re: :) see for yourself - [info]phosfate, 2005-11-18 09:38 pm UTC
Re: :) see for yourself - [info]rimrunner, 2005-11-19 06:25 am UTC
Re: :) see for yourself - [info]mercutia, 2005-11-21 04:47 am UTC

[info]platedlizard
2005-11-18 07:02 am UTC (link)
I must read this book, if only to find out just exactly *why* those cocks have venom, or are venom, or whatever.

I think that was a GREAT marketing ploy, getting that excerpt out at a con full of professional writers so they can laugh at it. Now the piece is almost as infamous as The Eye of Argon, and will no doubt sell. Because sometimes all people want to do is point and laugh. Kinda like Battlefield Earth, in a way.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]evanwaters, 2005-11-18 07:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]skarrow, 2005-11-18 08:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nights_mistress, 2005-11-18 11:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-11-22 02:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pyratejenni, 2005-11-22 11:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2005-11-23 04:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]angstymcgoth, 2005-11-18 11:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]issendai, 2005-11-18 06:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]angstymcgoth, 2005-11-19 12:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]favyan, 2005-11-18 12:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]evanwaters, 2005-11-19 09:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cycnus, 2005-11-18 07:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2005-11-18 07:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cycnus, 2005-11-18 10:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eljuno, 2005-11-18 06:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2005-11-18 08:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mindset, 2005-11-18 10:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2005-11-18 04:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]m_butterfly, 2005-11-20 11:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mindset, 2005-11-21 01:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]m_butterfly, 2005-11-21 02:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pyratejenni, 2005-11-21 02:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]innsmouth_eyes, 2005-11-18 10:32 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-11-18 01:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]honorh, 2005-11-18 07:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2005-11-18 11:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]annabelle_lee, 2005-11-18 02:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - dracothelizard, 2005-11-18 02:48 pm UTC

[info]dreadnot
2005-11-18 07:05 am UTC (link)
I read the two glowing reviews of the story at Amazon and was suspicious, but you never know. So I read the excerpt.

Holy hell that was bad. Badfic bad. Definitely mockably bad.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

icon! - [info]rogue, 2005-11-18 07:39 am UTC
Re: icon! - [info]skarrow, 2005-11-18 08:43 am UTC

[info]frequentmouse
2005-11-18 07:24 am UTC (link)
ooooo, Snacky's Law!

(Reply to this)


[info]wrongly_amused
2005-11-18 07:41 am UTC (link)
Delete
Indeed, we women at f_w do not revere the venom cock. We revere the wanking cock and the amusing splooge it provides.

COME NOW WANKERS, FILL US WITH YOUR DEMON SEED. MY WOMB YEARNS TO BEAR THE FRUIT OF THAT UNHOLY UNION!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]lurker32, 2005-11-18 07:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2005-11-18 07:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lurker32, 2005-11-18 08:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]delcj, 2005-11-18 08:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankprophet, 2005-11-18 01:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]skarrow, 2005-11-18 08:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sock_pupetteer, 2005-11-18 12:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mcity, 2005-11-18 03:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2005-11-18 05:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mcity, 2005-11-18 07:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]slackerbitch, 2005-11-18 04:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]caoilte, 2005-11-18 04:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eljuno, 2005-11-18 06:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2005-11-18 06:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2005-11-18 06:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2005-11-19 06:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_terrific, 2005-11-18 09:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]feenix, 2005-11-19 01:01 am UTC

[info]sgtgeorgecarter
2005-11-18 07:48 am UTC (link)
What.An.Idiot...

(Reply to this)


[info]crickets
2005-11-18 08:15 am UTC (link)
Dragon wank! Move over, Anne McCaffrey. Make room for venom cock next to those tent pegs.

(Reply to this)


sharonapple
2005-11-18 08:47 am UTC (link)
Anyone else thinking a vemon cock could seriously put a damper on sex?

I mean... It would be all, "Oh- yes-- yes-- YE-- GGGGHHCK! RRRK... *CHOKE* *VOMIT* *DEATH*"

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2005-11-18 09:21 am UTC
(no subject) - sharonapple, 2005-11-18 09:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]annabelle_lee, 2005-11-18 03:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - sharonapple, 2005-11-18 11:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aerobot, 2005-11-18 01:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - sharonapple, 2005-11-18 11:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]moonpigeon, 2005-11-19 05:43 am UTC
(no subject) - sharonapple, 2005-11-19 06:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]taktuk, 2005-11-26 10:47 am UTC

[info]khym_chanur
2005-11-18 08:48 am UTC (link)
If you require at least 10,000 people to be a medium sized con, what would qualify as a large one? *boggle*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]skarrow, 2005-11-18 08:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]issendai, 2005-11-18 06:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hangingfire, 2005-11-18 06:45 pm UTC

[info]adora_spintriae
2005-11-18 09:49 am UTC (link)
Am I the only one thinking of Mr Garrison's "forest of penises"?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]skewed_tartan, 2005-11-19 08:05 am UTC

[info]misachan
2005-11-18 09:51 am UTC (link)
I love it when pro writers prove that mocking badfic is a universal pasttime.

Also, it's been mentioned above, but "Unwise whilte in the presence of so much masculinity to mock the phallus" may well be the most brilliant sentence ever to grace the English language.

At least I think it's English. Sort of. If you squint. And have a head injury.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mpoetess, 2005-11-18 04:04 pm UTC

[info]pokecheck
2005-11-18 10:29 am UTC (link)
I don't read Spiderman, but it will still never be the same again.

Although the mental image of roosters wearing the Venom outfit is pretty funny.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2005-11-18 05:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pyratejenni, 2005-11-19 12:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2005-11-19 12:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]birdyexmachina, 2005-11-19 12:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2005-11-22 04:28 pm UTC

[info]ladybirdsleeps
2005-11-18 12:34 pm UTC (link)
Unwise whilte in the presence of so much masculinity to mock the phallus

But sometimes it's the only logical thing left to do. (NSFW)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]aerobot, 2005-11-18 01:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]b_jellybean, 2005-11-19 05:54 am UTC

[info]aerobot
2005-11-18 01:28 pm UTC (link)
Venom cock.


...


VENOM. COCK.


I just can't get over that part.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mcity, 2005-11-18 03:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2005-11-18 04:22 pm UTC

[info]mcity
2005-11-18 03:11 pm UTC (link)
Colleen's response? Anything under 10,000 is a little con and a little con-goer sneered at my publisher, so we hates them, my precious, we hates them forever!

*dies*
Did you just make refences to Ghostbusters and LoTR in the same post?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]bangoskank, 2005-11-18 06:46 pm UTC

[info]platedlizard
2005-11-18 04:19 pm UTC (link)
From Amazon:

Set in Malacar, a land with a repressive patriarchal society that both worships and enslaves dragons, Cross's bold debut introduces headstrong nine-year-old Zarq Darquel, who lives a harsh but not completely unpleasant life as a member of the pottery clan on a dragon estate. When destitution forces her father to sell Waisi, Zarq's beautiful older sister, into sexual slavery, her mother, Kavarria, who belongs to the disdained Djimbi race, tries to save Waisi at all costs, but more tragedy follows. Zarq, her life governed by her mother's madness and obsession, eventually winds up as a sexually mutilated nun caring for retired bull dragons.

On second thought, I don't think I'll be picking this up. I strongly suspect that the heroine was 'sexually mutilated' by a dragon, and frankly I draw the line at bestiality.

Besides, the whole 'Magical Heroine was sexually assaulted and that's why she's traumatized' thing is so passe. Can't we have something novel, like she saw her entire family fed to a dragon; or maybe nothing really bad happened to her and her family, she just likes dragons? Why does it always have to be sexual abuse?

Sorry, I'll clean up the mess.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2005-11-18 05:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2005-11-18 06:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2005-11-18 06:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2005-11-18 11:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]issendai, 2005-11-18 06:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2005-11-18 11:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]issendai, 2005-11-19 12:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2005-11-19 04:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]luthe, 2005-11-19 07:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]funwithrage, 2005-11-20 12:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2005-11-20 07:14 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-11-18 10:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2005-11-18 11:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]crevette, 2005-11-19 03:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]randomsome1, 2005-11-19 06:25 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-11-19 02:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]crevette, 2005-11-19 03:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2005-11-19 04:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]skewed_tartan, 2005-11-19 08:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]khym_chanur, 2005-11-19 08:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]skewed_tartan, 2005-11-19 09:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]khym_chanur, 2005-11-19 09:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]skewed_tartan, 2005-11-19 09:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]skewed_tartan, 2005-11-19 09:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2005-11-19 09:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]crevette, 2005-11-19 03:05 pm UTC


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