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Ventressica ([info]spicytacokisses) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2005-12-30 22:45:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Dramatic
Current music:*jazz hands*
Entry tags:fandom: queer as folk

There are nowt so fucking retarded as Queer as Folk's fanbase.
Queer as Folk is a once small and humble fandom that grew exponentially, and at a particularly alarming rate once the show really started sucking like [insert gay sex joke here]. But! It has endured 5264256262 shipper wars between B/Jers and B/Mers, has outlived actor wank, and even survived treacherous meet-and-greet sessions at conventions, as well as fans taking their title one step further into Creepsville by performing voodoo rituals for fictional characters. It's obvious that nothing keeps a good QaF-er down, even the anticlimatic end of the series; like tiny pieces of poo clinging to the hairs of somebody's asshole, this fandom shall overcome any adversity!

In our latest installment, [info]stillife and [info]jane2005 team-up to bring us the 2005 QaF Bad!Fic Awards (continued here). Some people are flattered; others, like BJFic's own Ashleigh Kinners, wanks, treating her fans to a lengthy diatribe from the, ahem, "privacy" of her own website. "The beauty of having your own site is that you know who is logging on to you," she says. Okay!

I’m sure at no point did I see anywhere that it was mandatory for fan fiction to have a compulsory level of literary quality. I was always under the impression that people in a free society were able to write or read whatever they liked. If for some reason you didn’t like something, you didn’t read it and moved on to something you did like.

Now, twelve months later, I find the concept of people reading something purely to ridicule it, is still foreign to me and I thank my upbringing for that. Trying to hide petty behavior under the guise of critiquing a piece of fan fiction is delusional. Offers of help to improve a fan fiction writer’s stories are just the cover they use to perpetuate their delusion of setting themselves up as the social conscience of the fandom and are absurd.

It seems that these delusional souls fall into two categories. The first are the nasty, mean spirited ones that can be likened to schoolyard bullies, campaigning that their opinions are the only ones that matter and if someone chooses to disregard their opinion it is acceptable to incite others to perpetuate their poor behavior. The second are the sheep that follow them. Obviously people who influence others, inciting them to socially unacceptable behavior i.e. pettiness and spitefulness, were just raised poorly. I know as responsible parents, we try to teach our children the value of the old saying “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.

The parents of Jane 2005 must be so proud they’ve raised such a nasty example of, I use the term loosely, human being, who boasts quite happily that she is a bitch who gets enjoyment out of putting others down. I am grateful and thank God she has been kind enough to NOT intend to reproduce and pass on her values and standards to another generation. More people like that, we don’t need, the world is fucked up enough. I wonder if someone like that could possibly have any friends of any redeeming quality other than her anonymous friends on the net. I suppose because she is well educated, she can even hide the truth from herself, pretending that qualification automatically makes her better than everyone else. Most educated people however realize that putting others down to make yourself look good only makes you look smaller. So please Jane, continue or have one or all of your sheep do it for you, you will still be sad, petty, spiteful, nasty and small, regardless. Only you could still manage to be proud of that label.


And the wank goes on, with colorful cameo appearances in the comments by 1daftpunk, who suggests candidly that Ms. Kinners buys herself "a copy of the Joy of Gay Sex and read it. I suggest this simply because it's really clear to me, that you have no understanding of the physical impossibility (at least for the survival of the participants and any small animals) of the acts you are attempting to describe." Also included in the mix is Sara Rory, AKA "Forever Folked", who is just too precious for words. But hey, here they are anyway:

I love your stories and me being fairly experienced in a kinds of sex I just would like to point out the specifics of sucking cock well fucking someone up the ass, since for some reason people can not imagine it I thought I'd paint a picture. Because as a girl who has fucked a man with a strap on, I know it's possible. So if anyone would like to know, let me know and I would gladly tell you every little detail of how this is achieved.

*


And the little comments sent to me about "How can you be a lesbian if you write about gay sex?" Well little girls, if you were pretty enough, I'd fly to your little happy hetero homes and show you.


Somebody calling themselves "Golddiger" seems to have the most sound advice of all: "would you guys just stop bitching and read the stories you like and the ones you don't like well... don't read them." It won't ever happen (and really, why would we want it to?) but it's nice of him/her/it to put it out there.


(Post a new comment)


[info]moonpigeon
2005-12-31 09:10 am UTC (link)
Mighty Max!121!~

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]gloria_mundi
2005-12-31 09:33 am UTC (link)
Seconded! Max Love!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]iczer6, 2005-12-31 09:47 am UTC
(no subject) - sharonapple, 2005-12-31 11:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]harpia, 2005-12-31 03:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2005-12-31 05:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]photosinensis, 2005-12-31 06:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nlb_muffin, 2005-12-31 09:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]zero_enthusiasm, 2006-01-01 12:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]marumae, 2006-01-01 01:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kantayra, 2006-01-06 01:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]moonpigeon, 2005-12-31 08:24 pm UTC

[info]koipool
2005-12-31 09:33 am UTC (link)
I just had to say:

shipper wars between B/Jers and B/Mers

Those are both so unfortunate.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]judyhazeleyes
2005-12-31 11:43 pm UTC (link)
Srsly. Is there any contest? Anyone who prefers a BM to a BJ had better be horribly constipated.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]dontgiveahoot
2005-12-31 09:54 am UTC (link)
like tiny pieces of poo to the hairs of somebody's asshole, this fandom shall overcome any adversity!

This so needs to be iconised, or metaquoted. (If it's iconised, though, I really hope the icon is text-only.)

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]napoleon
2005-12-31 10:25 am UTC (link)
Yeah, that's the fandom's new motto. Goodbye, "mocking the show with icons has become more fun than watching the show itself." Bring on the assholes!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - dodyskin, 2005-12-31 03:27 pm UTC

[info]elektra3
2005-12-31 09:56 am UTC (link)
I’m sure at no point did I see anywhere that it was mandatory for fan fiction to have a compulsory level of literary quality. I was always under the impression that people in a free society were able to write or read whatever they liked.

And yet no one has, of yet, tracked you down and broken your hands so that you were unable to write any more of your... er, masterworks. Fancy that.

Also, since when did "free speech" mean "people saying/writing things that don't offend me"?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]quackaddict
2005-12-31 06:37 pm UTC (link)
Also, since when did "free speech" mean "people saying/writing things that don't offend me"?

As long as there are... 'sensitive' people in the fandom who get wanky at the thought of anyone not aggreeing with them or being anything less than nicety-nice [we're talking Care Bear nice, here...] that's exactly what 'free speech' will mean. Unfortunately.

I know a lot of people who have stopped saying what they think because it's OMGMEEEEN.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]nlb_muffin, 2005-12-31 10:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2006-01-01 01:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]altoidsaddict, 2005-12-31 07:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2005-12-31 11:43 pm UTC

[info]amberwaves
2005-12-31 10:20 am UTC (link)
I just think it's funny that the major shipping wars consist of pairings called "BJ" and "BM".

(Reply to this)


[info]napoleon
2005-12-31 10:24 am UTC (link)
Oh, QAF. Keep on fuckin' truckin'. Only you guys could make the Harmonians seem sane.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rachelmap, 2005-12-31 11:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napoleon, 2005-12-31 12:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]coffee_mug, 2005-12-31 09:15 pm UTC

[info]sashenka
2005-12-31 10:43 am UTC (link)
I’m sure at no point did I see anywhere that it was mandatory for fan fiction to have a compulsory level of literary quality.

Yes, and the rest of us finished grade school.

The parents of Jane 2005 must be so proud they’ve raised such a nasty example of, I use the term loosely, human being, who boasts quite happily that she is a bitch who gets enjoyment out of putting others down.

As oppose to someone who is borderline illiterate and has no sense of humor about making fun of something they wrote after admitting it is sub-par (at least, that's what I get out of the first comment I grabbed).

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]smo, 2005-12-31 11:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sashenka, 2006-01-01 12:55 am UTC

[info]dracolovesharry
2005-12-31 12:07 pm UTC (link)
Dear Golddiger,

You are the voice of reason-- however no one hears you because they've all got their heads so far up their asses that they can't even see the light of day. 'Tis a shame, really. You keep shouting; maybe one day they'll listen.

Love always,
[info]dracolovesharry

Heh. That was funny. I thought that when the show ended that they crazy would go away-- apparently they find new ways to wank :(


(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]napoleon, 2005-12-31 12:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dracolovesharry, 2005-12-31 01:50 pm UTC

[info]reddiej
2005-12-31 12:29 pm UTC (link)
It seems that these delusional souls fall into two categories. The first are the nasty, mean spirited ones that can be likened to schoolyard bullies, campaigning that their opinions are the only ones that matter and if someone chooses to disregard their opinion it is acceptable to incite others to perpetuate their poor behavior. The second are the sheep that follow them.

They really do sound the same in every fandom. It's like a frightening case of déjà vu.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]altoidsaddict, 2005-12-31 07:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2005-12-31 11:44 pm UTC

[info]pointsandlaughs
2005-12-31 02:01 pm UTC (link)
I always knew why I prefer the UK original. Even if the acting sucks, the fans seem much saner...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]spicytacokisses, 2005-12-31 08:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pointsandlaughs, 2006-01-01 01:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2005-12-31 11:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pointsandlaughs, 2006-01-01 01:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2006-01-01 12:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pointsandlaughs, 2006-01-01 02:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sashenka, 2006-01-01 12:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wanktastic, 2006-01-01 01:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pointsandlaughs, 2006-01-01 02:05 pm UTC

[info]puipui
2005-12-31 02:08 pm UTC (link)
Poor Ashleigh Kinners. Everybody being mean to her! As if they were, I don't know, in some sort of CULT or something! How dare they?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - dodyskin, 2005-12-31 03:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]entrenous88, 2005-12-31 05:10 pm UTC

[info]aishatabitha
2005-12-31 02:09 pm UTC (link)
I find the concept of people reading something purely to ridicule it, is still foreign to me and I thank my upbringing for that.

I see. Brought up with branch inserted into rectum. Sounds traumatic.

as a girl who has fucked a man with a strap on, I know it's possible. So if anyone would like to know, let me know and I would gladly tell you every little detail of how this is achieved.

What, she doesn't post a link to her webcam? What a rip-off.

(Reply to this)


[info]guilty_as_sin
2005-12-31 02:16 pm UTC (link)
Thank you for posting this. It's not a fandom I'm remotely interested in, but after reading just the first four samples of badfic I'm sitting here laughing like a madwoman, tears running down my face. That has got to be some of the worst-written, delusional fanfic I have ever seen!

Ah, something to peruse tonight after a long day at work.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - dodyskin, 2005-12-31 03:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2005-12-31 11:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]guilty_as_sin, 2006-01-01 03:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2006-01-01 07:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_arel, 2006-01-02 05:10 am UTC

dodyskin
2005-12-31 03:22 pm UTC (link)
Oh, my WORD! Ah! Ah hah! HAah. Can't. Breathe. Aaaaaaah!

This is classic.

It's true that my main character is a cartoonist who lives in New York who meets and marries a stripper who comes out of a cake.

...

...

That's where the similarity ends.

Yes, Ashleigh. To say that anything that has a cartoonist, a housekeeper and a stripper is plagiarism is absurd.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]entrenous88, 2005-12-31 05:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - dodyskin, 2005-12-31 05:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kosaginolegion, 2005-12-31 07:23 pm UTC

[info]atalantapendrag
2005-12-31 04:59 pm UTC (link)
Because as a girl who has fucked a man with a strap on, I know it's possible. So if anyone would like to know, let me know and I would gladly tell you every little detail of how this is achieved.


Oh my, how transgressive. No one else has ever done anything remotely like that! And certainly not enough for a syndicated columnist to have a poll to come up with a name for it! And you certainly can't buy dildo harnesses on Amazon.com...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]coffee_mug, 2005-12-31 09:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]atalantapendrag, 2005-12-31 09:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sashenka, 2006-01-01 01:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]atalantapendrag, 2006-01-01 03:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sashenka, 2006-01-01 07:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mael, 2006-01-02 12:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sashenka, 2006-01-02 01:46 am UTC

[info]791point43
2005-12-31 05:41 pm UTC (link)
Oh, this is just all kinds of priceless...

From Ashleigh's tirade: If you need to examine every act in a sex scene for plausibility, you have other problems you should be addressing. ... Just for the record, Justin’s expanding butt plug is a figment of his imagination in a dream. I’m sure many gay men and quite a few women wish they had one of those.

Her website's named Ridiculouslyromantic.com, natch.

From Filingclerk's comment: may I point out that both Thomas Hardy and David Lean had a similar reaction to criticism of their work

Similar? Similar? OK, show me one review in which Hardy or Lean are criticised for the wild implausability of their sexxor scenes, and I'll eat the long tie of my robe.

Ashleigh: Obviously you enirely missed the point which was that you have too much time on your hands or you wouldn't be here or perhaps you are too sanctimonious to even know how ridiculous your actions are. Hitler was passionate in his belief that Jews should be exterminated too. If I remember, he thought that they were bad for Germany as well.

And we have Jurisimprudence!!!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]altoidsaddict, 2005-12-31 07:55 pm UTC
Oh, so very NWS! - [info]puipui, 2006-01-01 02:02 am UTC

[info]misswindy
2005-12-31 05:51 pm UTC (link)
I'm surprised the subject of this wank is Ashleigh Kinners, and not jane2005 and stilllife. Those badfic awards are wank supreme.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - dodyskin, 2005-12-31 06:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]quackaddict, 2005-12-31 06:39 pm UTC
aye, absurd - dodyskin, 2005-12-31 07:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]misswindy, 2005-12-31 09:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]quackaddict, 2005-12-31 09:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]misswindy, 2005-12-31 09:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]iczer6, 2006-01-01 11:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]guilty_as_sin, 2006-01-01 03:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]misswindy, 2005-12-31 09:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - dodyskin, 2005-12-31 10:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]misswindy, 2005-12-31 10:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - dodyskin, 2005-12-31 11:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]spicytacokisses, 2005-12-31 08:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]misswindy, 2005-12-31 09:37 pm UTC

[info]wrenlet
2005-12-31 06:45 pm UTC (link)
*deeeeeep breath* Yeah, I ran away from this fandom for a reason, yo, and it wasn't issues with the source.

But really, all wailers-against-criticism are missing a very important point: 95% of everything is crap. Internet fandom being the original vanity press there is no one minding the gate, no poorly-paid publishing house drones sorting through the slush piles and mailing out the rejection slips.

Somebody's got to do that, or we'll all drown in the crap.

(Reply to this)


[info]altoidsaddict
2005-12-31 07:59 pm UTC (link)
Oh, dear Lord.

"Their slippery cocks were like two river otters, sliding over and under one another, muscles flexing in play."

The imagery... Oh, god...

"Justin's cock retrieved a mussel from the nightstand and cracked it open, lovingly offering it to Brian's cock, which devoured the tender meat in a single bite."

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]spicytacokisses, 2005-12-31 08:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]evanwaters, 2005-12-31 08:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]altoidsaddict, 2006-01-01 12:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evanwaters, 2006-01-01 10:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rotten_fish, 2005-12-31 10:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]oxydosic, 2005-12-31 11:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]skarrow, 2005-12-31 11:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2005-12-31 11:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2006-01-01 12:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gogoruse, 2006-01-01 12:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2006-01-01 02:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pointsandlaughs, 2006-01-01 03:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]zorayda, 2006-01-02 03:18 am UTC

[info]oxydosic
2005-12-31 11:04 pm UTC (link)
I am grateful and thank God she has been kind enough to NOT intend to reproduce and pass on her values and standards to another generation. More people like that, we don’t need, the world is fucked up enough.

There has to be a fandom law for that, if not there should be one.

They are worried that while Brian is fucking Justin, he couldn’t suck him off at the same time.

Now there's something i haven't had my OT3 do yet. Thank you for the inspiration!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]skarrow, 2005-12-31 11:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]oxydosic, 2006-01-01 12:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2006-01-01 03:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]oxydosic, 2006-01-01 03:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eljuno, 2006-01-02 08:25 am UTC

[info]sashenka
2006-01-01 01:03 am UTC (link)
Brian began to cry. "I'm so fucking fat." Brian couldn't believe how emotional he became since he found out he was pregnant.

What, so you had to convince everyone that you're pregnant to hide it?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]oxydosic, 2006-01-01 02:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evanwaters, 2006-01-01 10:51 pm UTC

 
   
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