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That's why my hair is so big, it's full of secrets ([info]prettyveela) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2006-01-25 09:45:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:OMGWTF
Current music:"Alive & Kicking" Simple Minds

I pulled a Peter Pettigrew Pseuicide Wank!
[info]limeybean(a blip on the radar in the Harry Potter fandom) passed away from Tuberculosis a few months ago. A lot of people in the fandom mourned her death.

Some people were suspicious.

Busted! Oopsie!


The dead has arisen! [info]limeybean finally comes clean!
After realising the effect my bravery in my illness had on people, I then used it as a vehicle to try and get some of the idiot emo kids on LJ to buck up and realise they don't really have it all that bad. How much hope can you see reflected on the comments left on my entries, or in ones about me? So the lie was worth something, wasn't it? How bad is a lie if it helps?


All apologies.


Well done.

:)

So we're clear, I had never intended for things to go this way. I had not meant to "die" from the beginning, but I wanted an escape and it gave me one should I ever want to leave. I've always had a problem when it comes to telling the truth on the internet, to be honest. My parents wouldn't let me at a young age and since then I've never been able to do it, even if I wanted to. After realising the effect my bravery in my illness had on people, I then used it as a vehicle to try and get some of the idiot emo kids on LJ to buck up and realise they don't really have it all that bad. How much hope can you see reflected on the comments left on my entries, or in ones about me? So the lie was worth something, wasn't it? How bad is a lie if it helps?

To those I hurt with this, I apologise. You deserve better than this, and I know it. I knew that should this be uncovered that it would hurt people, and that wasn't my original intention. I'm so sorry to you. Jaclyn, you really were a friend to me and I really did value you, I apologise for having lied to you the most and you don't know how many times I wish I could have told you the truth, but knew I couldn't. You would have never forgiven me, you'd have told everyone and that would have been that. I'd have been villified rather than made into a beacon of hope for a while, even if a short one. You did mean a lot to me, and you still deserve all the happiness in the world even if you don't believe so. Eh. You never will, most likely, right?

My illness? I wasn't stupid. I'm NOT stupid. I picked one that was obviously fake so that eventually this would happen. So you would know that though people on the internet do lie we don't all do it for attention. I really did hate the attention I got for that. It made me sick, but there you go. It was a pretense I had to keep up. Though, to be quite frank, it is possible for someone to have an illness like that, just not likely, as Luke pointed out in his very convincing entry concerning 'me'.

Not all of what I said was a lie. I told the truth about a number of things, namely quite a bit of my history and my birth. I did have a twin who died at birth. I was badly bullied in school. I do have a slight form of dyslexia, for want of a better word, that stops me from doing simple math. I am half Greek and half Italian. I could go on like this. Most of what I said in my journal that wasn't to do with my illness was true (though I did get the idea of having tb from a doctor telling me I have latent strains of it in my blood stream.)

Knowing this sector of the internet, I'm going to be the next "Jer". But ah well. I suppose I deserve it. But let it be known I did come clean, and didn't lie to impress or be adored, though ultimately that's what happened. I lied selfishly to begin with in order to have an escape route, knowing I'd need one, and then turned it into something else entirely.

I did genuinely care about you guys and it killed me to lie to you, but once the lie was out it was impossible to take back, as you can appreciate.

I'm leaving comments on this entry because you deserve to have your say, or your jokes, or whatever you want to put here. I just want to say I wish I had never told the lie on one hand, but I also don't regret the amount of hope it rose in others while I was "alive". I'm also leaving it public, because I know that now more than my flist has a vested interest in my supposed death.

Oh, and it wasn't me that was online on the 22nd. That was someone else, though I don't know who. I really am in London. That was one of the many truths I told and weaved into that whopper of a lie.

That's it. That's all I have to say.

EDIT: Also on AIM if anyone wants to ask any questions and/or shout at me.



ETA: Locked! Screencaps of all 5 pages here: Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Page 4, and Page 5.

First 2 and a half pages with comments extended here: Page 1, Page 2, Page 3



People are sick, disgusted, amused, and pissed.
I respect George Bush more than you. At least he's got some balls. Even if they are literal.

[info]ljsecret(A popular community [info]limeybean was the founder of) has made a tiny amendment and posted a response to the revelation.

Son of the ETA: And now she ded from bahleete. :(

It took Jesus 3 days to come back from the dead, let's see if Limey can beat his record. *waits* Didn't take long eh?

The ETA strikes back: Dramatic reading, the remix!


Thanks [info]funkyhelix, [info]temari, [info]ari_, [info]gabsy, [info]llama_treats, and mousies for preserving the wank. F_W was a well oiled machine with this one.



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