Full Metal Alchemist- The Wank that Keeps on Giving.
This wank combines three of my favorite wank subjects- FMA, yaoi, and shipping wars.

So it all starts when Milk and a Spoon on ZOMGFTA disses popular FMA fanfic/fanart archive Touka Koukan for its "weird pairings". People soon agree with him:



MILK AND A SPOON


PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 2:45 am Post subject: Reply with quote
havoc_is_my_hero wrote:
I refuse to look at any more of that if I don't have to.
[Maybe "Chiu" would like that site...XDDDDD ]

?_?

I liked the site until I took the time to look at pairings other than "RoyxEd"

enogears


PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 9:05 pm Post subject: Reply with quote
OMG i just did something bad...
I never should have spent more than 2 seconds on that site... they have *shoot* like Roy/Maes...

Excuse me while i kill myselF

LaBOBuren (aka the major wanker on these boards)


PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 4:27 am Post subject: Reply with quote
I saw the title of the link on the new window and closed it instantly. You people and your yaoi... So sick, so wrong... I don't want your gay porn!! Stop trying to make me look at it this cr*p!!! I DON'T WANT IT!!! I. Don't. Want. Your. Gay. Porn. OKAY?!?! Confused

I don't care if you look at it or whatever, just stop trying to pull me into this sh*t!!! IT'S JUST MESSED UP!!! JUST LET ME BE!!! GRRRR. ROAR. NO. T.T

"Wanna prove me wrong, come back another day...

(On Ed/Envy, same poster as the last quote)Are you crazy?! THEY. HATE. EACHOTHER. THEY TRY TO KILL, MAUL, KICK, MURDER EACHOTHER. THEY'RE NOT GONNA DO IT. EVER. SUCK UP YOUR PRIDE AND MOVE ON. THEY'RE EVEN IN THE WORST PAIRINGS SECTION WHO KNOWS HOW MANY TIMES!!! AAHHH!!! AND I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY WENT WHEN YOU'D BEEN TOLD HOW SICK IT IS!!!!!



Of course, the real wank doesn't begin until the TKKN defenders and mods come in!



Guest

PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 7:26 am Post subject: Reply with quote
Ryto wrote:
Both of you are weird.....<.<


why? just because we like something you don't? Honestly, broaden your horizons. People who like yaoi are NOT slathering lunatic sick freaks. They simply have different preferences. Live and let live. Yaoi fans aren't out there saying how "wrong and disgusting" you guys are. Stop and think about Elricest for 3 seconds. The pairing is about absolute, unadulterated love.

If incest's not your thing, fine. But at least accept that it's as valid an opinion as Royai or Edwin or any other pairing. The Anime has SO MUCH elricest sebtext, it's a wonder it's NOT canon.





Guest







PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 8:34 am Post subject: BECAUSE PORT*** AND ELRICEST IS AWESOME. Reply with quote
It was an obvious, foreseeable fascination. In the stark white hospital bed, with new, trembling hands, Alphonse reached out.

Forgetting pride, Edward leaned forward. He'd thought about this, always in the back of his mind as clues and theories began to piece themselves together under red light as fact.

In the end, that Al would want, no, need to touch him. Ed would fall asleep over open books and he would dream about trembling fingers on his cheek, his brow, entwining into the flesh of his hand.

Al's touch settled, in reality, on the coldness of his upper right arm. Traced the harsh contours of fashioned metal and screws. Traced the delicate wiring and Ed bit his lip to muffle a startled gasp at the precarious attention.

Al's fingers were cold like iron and soft, soft skin when he finally traced the juncture of flesh and steel. Marveled at the skin that had become almost steel in its own way, ungiving beneath his fingers, calloused against metal and over wounds - scarred.

Beneath the slight peek of his brother's tank top, Alphonse smiled - utterly enchanted and adoring.

Obsessed.
_

"I didn't know how it feels like, brother." Al would laugh when Ed would question. 'Didn't you have enough?'

The answer was a collar and chain to Edward's doubt.

His brother was so small and slight and nothing akin to the boy of innocent strength the gate had stolen. But he was growing, and strengthening, and his touches became bolder. Ed couldn't feel it when Al, one day, sat himself beside his brother and wrapped his little hands around his metal bicep, pulled the arm close against his small, bare chest. Ed stared, dumbfounded, at the back of his hand pressed firmly between his brother's thighs and he could not feel it.
_

"I didn't know how it tasted, brother." Al whispered softly.

Automail maintenance - it always left him so helpless.

Al rendered him senseless. One glance from those pretty, sky-earth eyes and he'd loose his will.

He lost his breath at the *look* cast up at him from beneath rich honey-blond lashes as sweet, supple lips traced the contour of his automail port, hovering dangerously close to scarred skin before pressing a warm kiss there. Then another, and another, and Ed pressed back against Auntie Pinako's patient sickbed and kept quiet so Winry, one door over, could not hear. Bit his lip and clenched his one remaining fist.

Al's tongue was wet and warm and unnervingly pleasant against his scars. He could barely feel it - a promise from a mouth young and perfect. Saw it press, shy and pink, against cold metal and saw the shiver that ran down his brother's spine.

Ed gasped, a ragged, wet sound, as Al timidly wormed his tongue into that tiny, remaining crevice between skin and steel. Unable to decide, greedy for both tastes, gentle in his persuasion.

"Does that...is that okay, brother?"

Ed nodded, dumbstruck.

Al worried, as he made his brother's back arch and as Ed bared his strong neck recklessly. Machine oil and metal, wires gave easily, delicate beneath ruthless metal, smooth around his delicate tongue.

"Don't-"

Al began to draw away. This was too far. He hurt his brother, no-

"Stop-...don't stop."

Ed clamped a hand over his mouth. He couldn't think - he could barely breath and restraining his voice was not. Helping.

How could those stupid wires and that stupid juncture of flesh and steel possibly feel like this?

He knew what this was, his mind drawing fuzzy conclusions as his back arched and his heel slammed down and made the bedsprings creak. Wires to nerves, it was always, always so painful but Al-

Al sealed his mouth over the gaping emptiness of his brother's shoulder, both hands keeping such a volatile, invaded part still. That sweet tongue delved with curious timidity, replicating with exact purpose whatever it was that sent breathlessness throughout his entire, malformed self. Made his spine curl and his legs spread and his hips thrust futilely against friction that wasn't there.

This time, Ed couldn't loose it, couldn't help it. Al stiffened in surprise when he felt his brother's hand, warm and demanding, on the back of his head.

"Al...nnh. That's...good. Don't stop."

So he did it again, and again, his tongue flicking in and out and caressing those tender wires. Wires linked to his brother's pain - his brother's bliss.

"Al. Alphonse-" He'd never heard his name spoken quite like that before. He felt too hot in his clothes, in his skin, and further exploited the cool touch of his brother's helplessness with resolution.

Ed was squirming, bucking up helplessly as Al instrumented his nerves and his voice. He was unbearably hard, his leather pants brutally confining him and Al couldn't, for the life of him, look away.

Another touch, another gentle pull of that tongue curled around a single wire and Ed groaned breathlessly. Tensed in an almost artistic fashion, his braid coming undone, his skin flushed beneath the beautiful network of scars and his body a perfect, wanton line.

Then he slumped gracelessly, boneless, back into the bed and Al looked up, curious, and Ed wrinkled his nose in distaste at the stickiness drying in front of his pants.

He pulled his baby brother close, and gave him a kiss - sloppy and sweet in post-coital bliss. Al tasted of oil and metal and cold. It was familiar.

(THE END. I LOVE YOU ALL.)


Behold the Badly Drawn Elricest Dôjin that makes the forum shit their pants! Sockren, the TKKN webmaster comes in, and the BBS mod freezes the thread!

And of course, you have to get Sockren and Kaltia's and Kalika Maxwell's opinion on the whole thing. They ARE the Touka Koukan mods, and they had to do SOMETHING...



DEAR ZOMGFTA BOARD MEMBERS,

THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME, DESPITE YOUR NUMEROUS COMPLAINTS OF HOW REVOLTING IT IS, TO VIEW EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THE YAOI IMAGES IN OUR GALLERY, AND FOR THE EXTRA HITS TO OUR YAOI SECTION GAINED FROM YOUR LINKING TKKN ON YOUR BOARD. WE ARE SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOU 'DO NOT WANT' OUR GAY PORN, BUT IT SEEMS EITHER YOU DID OR THE MIND-CONTROL THE WEBMASTERS HAVE BEEN WORKING ON SEEMS TO BE WORKING, BECAUSE YOU VIEWED QUITE A FEW OF OUR MORE EXPLICIT IMAGES.

WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR EXTRA HITS, AND GIVE YOU A COOKIE FOR THE FREE ADVERTISING. ROCK ON, DUDES!

- THE TKKN STAFF



-Armand