Valentine’s Day Splooge from World of Wankcraft
Another one from a mousie on wank_report.

Mariqa is not having a good Valentine’s Day over at WoW. She feels that she is being sexually harassed by the holiday content:

I have received mails from players containing candy with epitaths such as 'Hot Lips', been objectified by the NPCs in game, and am constantly being followed around by a Cupid imitation (please research your mythology, the stories surrounding the origins and associated mythology disgusts me).

She does not want to be reminded that she can’t get a date about a holiday that apparently stands for suicide, Hallmark, and objectification. So, she posts a note to the Blizzard staff asking for either removal of the content or the insertion of filters against it.

And then everyone wanks.

Highlights:

And if you honestly feel in any way sexually violated or objectified by this game then you have some dire issues in real life and have my pity as you will not likely find someone to keep your company so long as you maintain that skewed of a point of view on the world.

The internet IS for porn, don't you know?

Yeah, damn Marxists, seeking peaceful change into a socialistic society!!!! Why couldn't anyone see the vision of Stalin, Lenin, Mao, Pol Pot, Ho Chi Minn, who were willing to bathe their county in the BLOOD of innocents to get their visionary utopias begun.

Its a game, not real life, I have cried because of the game (something I hate admitting) becuase there are real life interactions, and sometimes, just like real life, you mess up and people hate you for it.

Lots of spanking and wanking ensue, along with the throwing of virtual rose petals at the OP. And then it turns into one big 26-page-long orgy.

Also, Hitler makes an appearance on page 25. After all, what good would a Valentine’s Day without Der Fuhrer be?

Edit: Link and cut problems fixed. Sorry 'bout that!

Edit2: And we mustn't forget the obligatory homophobic post: 1 in 10,000 people will be offended by Blizzs idea of VAlentines Day, there is nothing wrong with love (between a man and a woman).