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Crying out justice, but seeking out triumphs (iwanttobeasleep) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2006-04-09 12:41:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:community: bad_rpers_suck, rape, rape is not funny, rp, suck it up and deal

It looks like BRPS is trying to keep up with fanficrants.
BPRS wank, amusing, but small.

[info]water_rose rants about a pair of jerkoffs on her RPG making light of raping her character.

Sorry guys, but I don't find rape funny. Most people with even a trace of common sense don't find the subject amusing. You don't know me at all, so therefore I will admit you have no way of knowing I was assulted when I was younger, but WTF gave either of you the idea such a thing was even remotely worth saying?! I've had years to deal with my experience and you guys didn't upset me more then the moment of brain-breaking shock you gave me but on a game as large as Achaea did it not cross your tiny minds that there just MIGHT be assult and/or rape survivors on the game?

There is a lot of agreeing that those guys are asshats and rape in RPGs should either never be done or that if it is done they need permission first. But not everyone is understanding.

[info]iamseph: I know I'm going to get flamed for saying this, and it's nothing personal, but so the fuck what?
People get bullied, pushed around, beaten up, thrown into pits of caustic slime and all sorts of other things in RPGs, none of these things are very nice and there is the high possibility that these things have happened to other players too in such a large game. I've a few of violent and aggressive characters and if everyone my character threatened with a beating went on a whining bent over how they're traumatised for life because they were beaten up once at school because of it and somehow seemed to think I was doing it as a joke, I would then carry through with the characters threats just to make them realise how goddamned seriously dangerous my violent characters are.


But it gets best when [info]angelicdominic points out the irony of being OMG so hurt by the threat of rape, then going around and telling anyone with an internet connection that she was assaulted.

[info]kepulver: So, because a person can say "I've been raped/assaulted" they are therefore not allowed to be angry when people treat their experiences as a joke/stupid threat on an RPG?

[info]skyshark: Yeah. More people should live in fear, silence, and shame, and certainly never try to discourage an atmosphere that supports people who think like their attackers. They really ought to be quiet when they're in a textual world of anonymity. And if something upsets them, there's no need for them to do anything but suck it up! It's not like the topic should be more important to them as a survivor, or anything. It's only a major traumatic incident.

I should find someone who experienced a rare flesh-eating disease and ask them to come play the part of a patient with a terminal illness in my new production. If they object in front of people, I'll be sure to send you a tape. Comedy at its best, baby.


I'm a little disappointed it left the main page before it kicked off.



(Post a new comment)


[info]nebbieq
2006-04-09 10:47 pm UTC (link)
I swear, if I had a shot for everytime someone used the, "BUT IT'S NO WORSE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN GAME!" excuse for RP rape, my liver would have committed suicide by now.

(Reply to this)


[info]itsirtou
2006-04-09 10:48 pm UTC (link)
"Bullying is one thing, it rarely leaves lasting triggers. Rape is a completely different situation in my experience that can have flashbacks that can be triggered by something such as this."

To be honest, I agree with this sentiment. Now, I've never been physically bullied nor raped, so I don't know how much of an expert I am on the subject, but rape just seems to have more potential for ugly flashbacks or nervous behavior; bullying (to some extent) seems to be less...I don't know...personal than rape. I'm trying to express myself and failing, but for some reason I just feel like rape is way more serious than a physical beating.

On the other hand, I do feel like it's kind of odd that people are so willing to advertise (although that might not be the right word) their "victim" status on the internet. I'm sure these people would never mention their rape in person-to-person conversation, but they seem to have no qualms about saying it on the internet. I'm not condemning, I'm just curious.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]exit_chrysalis
2006-04-09 11:01 pm UTC (link)
Hm. I'm actually more open about discussing my "victim" status (I was sexually assaulted by a boyfriend when I was 14) in person than I am online. This is actually only the second comment online I've ever made about it, but about ten people in real life know about it. Every survivor is different, though, so I don't know. For the people who are truly anonymous online (as opposed to me, where a lot of people from real life know about my LJ), it might be freeing to talk about it. I don't usually online because I want to choose the people I talk to about it. Others might simply want to raise awareness, as in, "Hey, it happened to me, it could happen to you, this is not a shameful thing."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-10 08:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]exit_chrysalis, 2006-04-10 02:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]heddychaa, 2006-04-11 04:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]clover_elf_kin, 2006-04-11 08:17 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-11 10:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-15 11:47 pm UTC

[info]narcissam
2006-04-09 11:23 pm UTC (link)
Bullying though can mean a lot of different things from being called names, to being beat up, to sexual harassment, stalking, slander campaigns. It covers such a range of behaviours.

So I don't have flashbacks to being spat at in Grade Three, but a friend whose bullying history involved being doused in gasoline andchased with a lighted match probably does.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]itsirtou, 2006-04-09 11:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]funwithrage, 2006-04-10 03:14 am UTC
TMI - [info]kijikun, 2006-04-10 05:02 am UTC
Re: TMI - [info]froda_baggins, 2006-04-10 06:56 am UTC
Re: TMI - [info]kijikun, 2006-04-10 07:10 am UTC
Re: TMI - [info]cyndra_falin, 2006-04-11 03:58 am UTC
Re: TMI - [info]kijikun, 2006-04-11 04:11 am UTC
Re: TMI - [info]cyndra_falin, 2006-04-11 05:01 am UTC
Re: TMI - [info]kijikun, 2006-04-11 05:06 am UTC
Re: TMI - [info]cyndra_falin, 2006-04-11 05:38 am UTC
Lord of Flies? - (Anonymous), 2006-04-15 11:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eljuno, 2006-04-11 05:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aerobot, 2006-04-10 06:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2006-04-10 09:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mouseybrown, 2006-04-10 06:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]felinephoenix, 2006-04-10 08:27 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2006-04-10 02:32 am UTC (link)
Eh, I can understand people wanting to mention traumatizing events on the internet. I've got certain issues I have to bite my tongue all the time over, or else I'd be mentioning it in every damn post I make. It doesn't make a lot of sense, but the impulse is definitely there. I can't talk about it in real life without facing dire consequences, so maybe it's a desire to shout to the safely anonymous crowd in hopes someone will care? Maybe there's other people that are the same?

I agree though that people definitely don't need to use their issues in a manipulative way, as some do. Ick.

Aaand I used my issues as part of a discussion, which is exactly what I'm trying to keep myself from doing. Suck. x.x;

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]kannaophelia
2006-04-10 04:40 am UTC (link)
For myself... It's easier to ignore people on the internet when they seem to think that mentioning you were assualted means they are somehow entitled to ask you about every fucking detail and then accuse you of not responding properly or feeling the right things, because they saw this video in primary school that told them the RIGHT way to act after an assault. (After all, you *mentioned* it, you obviously want to dissect every detail for their entertainment and then justify your actions to them.)

It would be nice to be able to delete comment notifications in real life.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-10 06:00 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2006-04-10 04:44 am UTC (link)
People kill themselves over being bullied. That's not exactly news. I hate these bullshit contests about who has suffered more or which kind of abuse is worse.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]itsirtou, 2006-04-10 04:52 am UTC
Try this again... - [info]drworm, 2006-04-10 05:44 am UTC
Re: Try this again... - [info]itsirtou, 2006-04-10 08:09 pm UTC

[info]saintedsin
2006-04-10 05:18 am UTC (link)
I disagree. Both can be causes of PTSD. Bullying is a lot more serious than people give credit to.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]jadelennox, 2006-04-10 05:35 pm UTC

[info]heddychaa
2006-04-10 05:39 pm UTC (link)
I would definitely say that "advertise" isn't the right word. It's not like we're hawking ourselves saying "rape victims! rape victims! five for a dollar one day only!"

I'm alot more open about it on the 'net than in real life. The people who know in real life are my close friends, and guys I date/have sex with, mainly because they NEED to know in order for me to feel comfortable and safe.

I'm more open about it on the 'net because a) there's a level of anonymity, and b) people knowing about it on the net are not going to have an effect on my daily life. If I tell people it in real life, who knows how they might act. I have no interest in being coddled or treated differently when I'm at school, or at work, so I just don't say anything unless the situation absolutely warrants it. Online, it doesn't really matter if people know, because the only interaction I have with online people is the occasional message board conversation. I don't want to think that my teachers, or my boss, or my classmates, or the people reviewing my creative writing submissions are seeing me as a "rape victim" rather than "a person". I've dealt with enough shit about this already, and I'd just like to move on. I don't want or need special treatment.

I bring it up online not because I want everyone to know about it, or because I think it's cool or special, but because in certain conversations (like this one) I think I can lend an opinion, or advice, based on the fact that I am experienced. I share my experiences because I think they can be enlightening and educating to other people, and because the only reason I ever came out about or ever approached my rape in order to heal it was because another woman was honest about her experience and inspired me to face the stigma for my own mental health. I don't use it to throw temper tantrums, or win unrelated arguments, or even throw up a stinkfit about people writing things that trigger me (because really? not their fucking responsibility, thanks), just to contribute to discussion.

The common livejournal phrase is "no pity, no shame, no silence", which is pretty much what I live by, nowadays.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]lurker32
2006-04-09 10:58 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, honestly. I got thrown into a pit of caustic slime just last week, and do you hear me whining about it?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]nebbieq
2006-04-09 11:25 pm UTC (link)
Oh, that's nothing. Not only did I get thrown into a pit of caustic slime, when I went to get my clothes cleaned, I had to share the laundromat with a tribe of wild orcs.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]itsirtou, 2006-04-09 11:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nebbieq, 2006-04-10 12:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]itsirtou, 2006-04-10 12:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nebbieq, 2006-04-10 12:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kijikun, 2006-04-10 05:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nebbieq, 2006-04-10 05:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kijikun, 2006-04-10 05:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nebbieq, 2006-04-10 05:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kijikun, 2006-04-10 05:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nebbieq, 2006-04-10 05:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]slackerbitch, 2006-04-10 03:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mydruthers, 2006-04-10 06:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]exdee, 2006-04-12 12:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]spiderflower, 2006-04-10 12:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2006-04-10 06:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]spiderflower, 2006-04-10 09:46 am UTC

[info]gorogoro
2006-04-09 11:27 pm UTC (link)
Yeah. More people should blab about personal trauma, pity-whore, and wank, and certainly always try to encourage an atmosphere that supports people who think random people on the internet give two shits.

Fixed!

(Reply to this)(Thread)


(Anonymous)
2006-04-10 05:02 am UTC (link)
Because mentioning you've been a victim of rape automatically equals pity-whoring and the like, right? Fail.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]drworm, 2006-04-10 06:04 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-10 07:07 pm UTC

[info]qatharsis
2006-04-09 11:36 pm UTC (link)
I'm personally laughing out loud at the idea of needing consent to rape in an RPG.

Consent.

To rape.

Anyone else finding that deliciousy ironic?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]hickorydickory, 2006-04-09 11:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lykomancer, 2006-04-09 11:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sanguinary, 2006-04-10 12:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2006-04-10 01:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sanguinary, 2006-04-10 02:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2006-04-10 02:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nebbieq, 2006-04-10 05:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]frenzy, 2006-04-10 12:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]raptoe, 2006-04-10 10:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]slackerbitch, 2006-04-10 03:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]felinephoenix, 2006-04-10 08:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-15 11:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sanguinary, 2006-04-09 11:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]felinephoenix, 2006-04-10 08:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jenny_atrox, 2006-04-11 03:50 am UTC

[info]gal_montag
2006-04-10 12:27 am UTC (link)
I would then carry through with the characters threats just to make them realise how goddamned seriously dangerous my violent characters are.

WTF for? So that you can demonstrate that your imaginary character is the baddest ass around in contrast to the real world where you apparently exist as the dumbest ass around.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]miss_padfoot, 2006-04-10 12:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2006-04-10 01:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tofuknight, 2006-04-10 01:27 am UTC
The question is... - [info]dunmurderin, 2006-04-10 01:33 am UTC
Re: The question is... - (Anonymous), 2006-04-10 02:08 am UTC
Re: The question is... - [info]dunmurderin, 2006-04-10 02:09 am UTC
Re: The question is... - [info]tofuknight, 2006-04-10 05:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kannaophelia, 2006-04-10 04:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2006-04-18 04:21 am UTC
Holy Crap!
[info]dunmurderin
2006-04-10 01:26 am UTC (link)
I made it to Fandom Wank!

WHOOT!

That's it, I got nothing else really except that I still don't quite understand why saying "I was raped" = not allowed to complain about assholes. Granted, I can understand the annoyance at the folks who use the victim card at every opportunity to get people to give them their way, but it didn't seem like that was what the OP was doing. She was annoyed that these jackasses were being callous enough to joke about raping a character without thinking about, y'know, just how tacky that is.

Eh, either way, something I said made it to Fandom Wank and it wasn't about Lady Jaye dying, I'm surprised!

Kathy

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Holy Crap! - [info]blackjackrocket, 2006-04-10 04:21 am UTC
Re: Holy Crap! - (Anonymous), 2006-04-11 06:57 am UTC
Re: Holy Crap! - [info]miss_padfoot, 2006-04-10 04:48 am UTC
I know I've said this before but... - [info]adora_spintriae, 2006-04-10 05:14 am UTC
Re: I know I've said this before but... - [info]nebbieq, 2006-04-10 05:20 am UTC
Re: I know I've said this before but... - [info]sonic331va, 2006-04-13 02:47 am UTC
Re: Holy Crap! - [info]kijikun, 2006-04-10 05:20 am UTC
Re: Holy Crap! - [info]nebbieq, 2006-04-10 05:21 am UTC
Re: Holy Crap! - [info]kijikun, 2006-04-10 05:44 am UTC
Re: Holy Crap! - [info]nebbieq, 2006-04-10 05:48 am UTC
Re: Holy Crap! - [info]magma9, 2006-04-10 07:42 pm UTC
Re: Holy Crap! - [info]felinephoenix, 2006-04-10 08:43 pm UTC
Re: Holy Crap! - [info]xanos, 2006-04-10 11:36 pm UTC
My Bad - [info]magma9, 2006-04-13 09:57 am UTC
Re: Holy Crap! - [info]sirbartonslady, 2006-04-12 12:04 am UTC

[info]saintedsin
2006-04-10 05:22 am UTC (link)
So now we should ban rape in RPGs? What about television and books? How about banning the mention of rape all together. Maybe then it will go away.

I think all of them are idiots. Just being alive is a cause for stress in the world that can have negative physiological consequences on people. Bullying causes PTSD in children as well as learned helplessness, rape causes PTSD among with a whole host of other effects.

But to make such a big deal about it in a game? Maybe she shouldn't play the game/read the thread/whatever until she has some therapy that helps her deal with her obviously unresolved issues.

No, I am not blaming the victim, I simply don't like people to take their personal tragedies out on things that they can choose to have nothing to do with. I don't do it, I expect others to have the same courtesy.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2006-04-10 05:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]saintedsin, 2006-04-10 05:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2006-04-10 06:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]saintedsin, 2006-04-10 06:42 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-10 07:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mmanurere, 2006-04-10 07:30 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-10 08:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2006-04-10 05:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_padfoot, 2006-04-10 05:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]slackerbitch, 2006-04-10 03:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]saintedsin, 2006-04-10 03:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]slackerbitch, 2006-04-10 08:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]saintedsin, 2006-04-11 12:37 am UTC
CENSORSHIP!?!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH - (Anonymous), 2006-04-16 12:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2006-04-10 05:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]slackerbitch, 2006-04-10 08:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]slackerbitch, 2006-04-10 08:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]felinephoenix, 2006-04-10 08:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-04-12 12:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]saintedsin, 2006-04-12 02:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-04-12 04:36 am UTC

[info]mercutia
2006-04-10 05:25 am UTC (link)
There is, however, no rule that says she can't track down the individuals responsible and make them eunuchs, is there? I mean, I'm just sayin'.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mercutia, 2006-04-10 05:26 am UTC

[info]v_digitalwytch
2006-04-10 07:41 am UTC (link)
It's a hard call whether the OP's overreacting or not on this one in my opinion. If it's been established in game that the guys characters act this doofy, then I'm not seeing the cause to be so upset. If they had thier characters try something without discussing it in full with the OP, then I don't blame her for being irate.

But then again, it's like in fanfiction, certain topics set people off.

When I had a couple of my players approach me with a rape sidestory they wanted to run, I grilled them both to make sure both sides were on the same page with what they were going to do and where they were going to run with it afterwards because I'd seen too many times elsewhere that the rape ended up as Twu Wub!™.

While I can buy a goodly amount of bizzare in my gaming, that sort of thing's enough to get my eye twitching with the absurd ureality of it.

The side story worked out pretty good in the end, got some wonderful character development not only from the primary characters but from the rest around them, and the rapist character got a messy death from being chucked to a horde of ravenning zombies.

I did have some uneasy during the initial posts, which kicked off a healthy round of offlist emails with the main concerns being the entire thing handled either too glibly or too melodramatically, and I honestly didn't blame any of them in the least on that one.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2006-04-10 01:40 pm UTC (link)
Is there anyone on the internet that hasn't been raped or sexually assaulted? Seriously, every single time it's brought up someone chimes in to talk about when it happened to them.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]justicepeckham, 2006-04-10 02:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]v_digitalwytch, 2006-04-10 05:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]heddychaa, 2006-04-10 05:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rekall, 2006-04-10 06:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-10 11:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-04-12 12:36 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-12 07:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-04-13 04:01 am UTC
Look at the statistics for sexual abuse. - (Anonymous), 2006-04-16 12:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2006-04-18 04:26 am UTC

[info]pyrrah
2006-04-10 05:03 pm UTC (link)
I may be biased, but rape in role play really irks me, if only for the number of people I've played with who insist on having their every other character raped occasionally o.O

(Reply to this)


[info]eli_eli_oh
2006-04-10 07:11 pm UTC (link)
I don't want to laugh at [info]iamseph, but he had to go and stress how goddamned seriously dangerous [his] violent characters are.

Now I live in fear of his Badass by Proxy.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-10 08:17 pm UTC

[info]misty
2006-04-10 10:51 pm UTC (link)
At first, I saw [info]iamseph and thought it was [info]jameth. And then I went, "But wait, where's the trollishness?"

(Reply to this)


[info]wrongly_amused
2006-04-12 12:34 am UTC (link)
Eh...I kind of agree with the OP. Rape is one of those things that really just should be completely avoided unless there's an active consent by *all* members of an RPG that it's appropriate for the game's setting and storyline. I can't really blame her for being upset about something like that. Rape is one of those things that are just...well, not something to joke about.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2006-04-12 07:24 pm UTC (link)
I think the thing about RP rape scenes/mentioning/whatever is that it'll always be really touchy.

In that it can be disturbing at the prospect of seeing something that traumatic being played out for pleasure.

It would probably help if the comm had specific rules pertaining to it. 'Do not play nor make light of.' Or 'It is acceptable to play.' As a sensitive issue people should be able to control their exposure to it in an RP setting. Of course, that's a tad bit idealistic, but one can dream.

Till someone gets good ground rules set out about it, I don't think these sorts of wanks will EVER stop cropping up here there and everywhere.

(Reply to this)


 
   
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