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Darth Maligna ([info]darthmaligna) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2006-04-19 23:06:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:enormous clusterfuck, not sure how to tag

Mmm, Wanktastic Idol.
Extremely minor spoilers ahoy!

Tonight was the top seven results night on American Idol. The producers divided up six of the contestants into groups of three and told gray-haired spazoid Taylor Hicks that he had to join whichever group he thought was not the bottom three. According to people who were there, during a commercial break Hicks was placed in the middle of the groups and told that he couldn't pull a Bo Bice and not take sides, so he shook hands with one of the contestants in the group he didn't choose, and then went to stand at the other side of the stage, all the while looking quite irate with the powers that be and really rather embarrassed all around.

Most fans think that Taylor handled himself with aplomb in an extremely stressful situation, and that the producers' motives run the gamut from intentionally trying to stir up drama to deliberately attempting to curtail Taylor's unexpected wild popularity to hoping to shift some votes to the highly marketable but functionally retarded Kellie Pickler.

Not clvgal, however. She thinks that over the past couple of months, Taylor has gone from a sweet, offbeat Southern boy to a cruel, spiteful son of a bitch who deliberately insults people by shaking their hands. I think the real question here is whether or not the producers of American Idol forced everyone in this thread to spell despicable wrong.

ETA: The wanky thread seems to be gone, but I can't for the life of me figure out why because wank is ALL OVER THE BOARDS. I'm just going to leave the link like it is, leading to the main boards page, because there is spooge coating the Season Five Contestants board as well as, in particular, the Chris Daughtry and Taylor Hicks ones. There's some choice shit being thrown around by Chris's fangirls. It's like fish in a barrel over there.



(Post a new comment)


[info]crysiana
2006-04-20 06:35 am UTC (link)
...I know this doesn't matter, but I keep wondering. Is clv an acronym? Or is it short for something? Like cleavage? Clever? Clove? I try to think about the wank, and yet I keep wondering about the name.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]tunxeh
2006-04-20 07:56 am UTC (link)
I had been thinking it might be "clue", spelled like the Romans would have with a v instead of a u. But now that seems too complicated and clever. So I don't know.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2006-04-20 04:47 pm UTC (link)
Cleveland?

- onaga

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 09:54 pm UTC

[info]rogue
2006-04-20 06:39 am UTC (link)
Bonus doll wank!

Have fun being a crazy troll with a CREEEEEPY avatar.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]darthmaligna
2006-04-20 06:41 am UTC (link)
It'd be even better if we could see more of the doll and it were dressed like a gay Nazi. It would be wankdestiny!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]oar, 2006-04-20 07:29 am UTC

[info]childofares
2006-04-20 06:46 am UTC (link)
I think some of these people need to step away from the television. Seriously.

"OMG I LEAD THE SOUL PATROL(tm) AND I WILL ALWAYS BACK HIM UP YOU EVIL AVATAR WENCH!!!11!!"

They should just go back to insulting Kat and drooling over Ace's teeth. Much safer.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]darthmaligna
2006-04-20 07:00 am UTC (link)
The Soul Patrol does not spend its time insulting Kat and drooling over Ace's teeth. We actually prefer knitting tea cozies that say "Gray Is Sexy" and sacrificing virgins to the gods of getting Taylor into tighter pants next week.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]honorh, 2006-04-20 05:29 pm UTC

[info]breecita
2006-04-20 06:49 am UTC (link)
NOOOOOOOOOO!

Living in Birmingham and hating American Idol is misery.

Taylor Hicks frickin' LEADS our news, and I'm sorry, but that makes me want to wank. Especially since he's the third one. Bo Bice and Reuben took over our news programs, too.

*cries*

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]darthmaligna
2006-04-20 07:00 am UTC (link)
I can totally sympathize. I love Taylor, but I realize that it's quite easy to do so from Chicago. ;)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]breecita, 2006-04-20 07:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hearsawho, 2006-04-20 08:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]southernbangel, 2006-04-20 11:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 07:12 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 07:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rogue, 2006-04-20 07:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dracolovesharry, 2006-04-20 07:53 am UTC
also from the area - [info]antigone, 2006-04-21 01:36 am UTC
Re: also from the area - [info]dracolovesharry, 2006-04-21 09:28 am UTC
(no subject) - fallingfortruth, 2006-04-20 07:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2006-04-20 07:38 am UTC
(no subject) - fallingfortruth, 2006-04-20 07:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2006-04-20 11:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]naienko, 2006-04-20 05:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2006-04-20 11:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seldomnaughty, 2006-04-20 08:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2006-04-20 11:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seldomnaughty, 2006-04-21 01:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2006-04-21 01:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seldomnaughty, 2006-04-21 01:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2006-04-21 01:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seldomnaughty, 2006-04-21 01:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2006-04-21 01:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seldomnaughty, 2006-04-21 01:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2006-04-21 01:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seldomnaughty, 2006-04-21 01:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2006-04-21 02:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seldomnaughty, 2006-04-21 02:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2006-04-22 01:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seldomnaughty, 2006-08-25 09:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2006-08-25 10:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-21 12:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2006-04-21 12:23 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 10:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - fallingfortruth, 2006-04-20 10:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-21 01:36 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 10:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-21 01:35 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-21 10:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2006-04-20 08:50 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 10:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bitca, 2006-04-20 02:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2006-04-20 03:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 04:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2006-04-20 05:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 08:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2006-04-20 09:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thoms, 2006-05-01 05:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 02:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]scorpio20, 2006-04-20 03:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]breecita, 2006-04-20 05:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]scorpio20, 2006-04-20 05:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]southernbangel, 2006-04-20 11:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smut_queen, 2006-04-20 04:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dark_puck, 2006-04-20 04:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 09:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]arionhunter, 2006-04-20 05:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]marciamarcia, 2006-04-20 06:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cleolinda, 2006-04-20 06:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - fuzzy_ears, 2006-04-20 07:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seldomnaughty, 2006-04-20 08:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilisliana, 2006-04-20 08:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seldomnaughty, 2006-04-21 01:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]arionhunter, 2006-04-20 09:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seldomnaughty, 2006-04-21 01:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]massromantic, 2006-04-21 08:05 am UTC

[info]seraphtrevs
2006-04-20 07:29 am UTC (link)
Taylor has gone from a sweet, offbeat Southern boy to a cruel, spiteful son of a bitch

No, no he hasn't. He has remained the exact same spastic, semi-coherent individual with a decent voice that he has always been. American Idol is not about the contestants - it's about American Idol. The contestants are disposable parts of the wanktastic machine. The show is made of wank, people! That's why it's so popular! It's like being angry at ice cream for containing milk. Jesus.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(Deleted post)
(no subject) - [info]seraphtrevs, 2006-04-20 04:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 11:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 02:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 07:05 pm UTC

[info]oar
2006-04-20 07:31 am UTC (link)
Your icon FTW. Did it come from that cornfield wank around a week ago?

Am I the only person in America who's totally given up on American Idol? The first season was mildly interesting in a trainwreck sort of way, but after that it went way downhill for me.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - fallingfortruth, 2006-04-20 07:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]darthmaligna, 2006-04-20 08:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seraphtrevs, 2006-04-20 04:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sajasma, 2006-04-20 09:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 08:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]batshitinsane, 2006-04-20 08:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rhiannonmr, 2006-04-20 11:10 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 08:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jaseroque, 2006-04-20 10:20 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 01:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shylu, 2006-04-20 03:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bitca, 2006-04-20 02:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2006-04-20 10:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2006-04-20 08:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]childofares, 2006-04-20 10:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilisliana, 2006-04-20 08:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_sophia, 2006-04-20 04:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilisliana, 2006-04-20 08:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-04-20 05:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]khym_chanur, 2006-04-20 10:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 11:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]randomsome1, 2006-04-21 05:57 am UTC

[info]batshitinsane
2006-04-20 08:36 am UTC (link)
Graaaah! Kellie has to be kicked out sometime soon! Graaaaah! She's... graaaah! (I'm so eloquent today)

*Who lives waaaaaaaay across the Pacific Ocean and thus has no AI voting rights D:*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 02:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilisliana, 2006-04-20 08:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]batshitinsane, 2006-04-21 02:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]here4tehwank, 2006-04-24 08:08 pm UTC

[info]ladysorka
2006-04-20 09:22 am UTC (link)
I must be the only person left in the world who has never seen an episode of American Idol.

Maybe I should through a party. A party where we watch lots of the National Geographic channel and go "...ooh, shiny documentaries."

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2006-04-20 09:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wal_lace, 2006-04-20 09:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladysorka, 2006-04-20 04:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 10:42 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 01:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-21 02:43 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 01:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]exdee, 2006-04-20 08:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]missdaisy, 2006-04-20 01:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jetwolf, 2006-04-20 03:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]missdaisy, 2006-04-20 09:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rotten_fish, 2006-04-20 03:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]karmyn75, 2006-04-20 04:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lurker32, 2006-04-20 04:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-04-20 05:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 08:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 07:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]khym_chanur, 2006-04-20 10:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]april_hurst, 2006-04-21 03:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kijikun, 2006-04-21 02:41 am UTC
(no subject) - iwanttobeasleep, 2006-04-21 04:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sheron, 2006-04-24 01:47 am UTC

[info]musette
2006-04-20 09:46 am UTC (link)
You know, the most important part of the entire episode of American Idol was that we were again graced with the presence of Katherine McPhee and her fabulous rack voice.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]annabelle_lee, 2006-04-20 10:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]childofares, 2006-04-20 10:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]coffee_mug, 2006-04-20 11:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rhiannonmr, 2006-04-20 11:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wanktastic, 2006-04-20 03:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rhiannonmr, 2006-04-20 07:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]annabelle_lee, 2006-04-21 04:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rhiannonmr, 2006-04-21 05:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]musette, 2006-04-20 01:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dreagonfli, 2006-04-20 05:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]musette, 2006-04-21 03:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilisliana, 2006-04-20 08:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]musette, 2006-04-21 03:46 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-22 06:07 pm UTC

[info]coffee_mug
2006-04-20 10:41 am UTC (link)
The result shows are SO full of shit. I never watch any of them, they're TV at its worst, really. I just read the results online.

the highly marketable but functionally retarded Kellie Pickler

That cracked me up. Sadly true.

(Reply to this)


[info]adora_spintriae
2006-04-20 12:15 pm UTC (link)
I really don't care about the wank, I'm just here to praise your icon. Someone really needs to do a Terrence-and-Phillip-esque version of HP one day.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 01:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pokecheck, 2006-04-20 02:26 pm UTC

[info]stella_polaris
2006-04-20 01:59 pm UTC (link)
Oh God, Kellie Pickler is the dumbest idol ever. "ihiihii ah don't haeve an accent ihiihii."

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 02:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilisliana, 2006-04-20 09:00 pm UTC

vomitymcpuke
2006-04-20 04:13 pm UTC (link)
I don't usually watch the show, but for the 2 minutes I did last night, it was a fucking Ford commercial. Why don't people wank about that? Commercials are supposed to come between scenes of the show, not during!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2006-04-20 07:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - vomitymcpuke, 2006-04-20 10:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2006-04-20 10:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2006-04-20 10:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sailorjpg, 2006-04-20 08:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilisliana, 2006-04-20 09:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 10:55 pm UTC

[info]sajasma
2006-04-20 07:26 pm UTC (link)
*would take her garden gnome boy Elliot over everyone else any day*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]pingin_tango, 2006-04-20 08:36 pm UTC

[info]mouseykins
2006-04-20 10:01 pm UTC (link)
I can't really wank over this because OMG THREE LETTER ASSHOLE GOT VOTED OFF HOORAY!

Up next: The Pickler!

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2006-04-20 10:39 pm UTC (link)
Anyone else having trouble reaching the wank?

(Reply to this)


[info]quinctia
2006-04-20 11:23 pm UTC (link)
If they had asked me to stand with the group I thought was safe, I'd have walked over to the judges' table.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-04-20 11:38 pm UTC

[info]herongale
2006-04-21 12:51 am UTC (link)
Whenever I click on the link above, the American Idol page transfers me over to the main board instead of letting me look directly at the thread. I was wondering if there's anyone who could walk me through where this wank is on the board (naming the subforum and name of the thread, for example) so I can read about Scarmonica... er, Taylor Hicks.

(Reply to this)


[info]ultimate_cin
2006-04-23 05:38 am UTC (link)
Oh, for God's sake.

If Taylor had chosen Elliott's group as the bottom three and stood with Chris' group, you can bet the Elliott, Kellie, and Kat fans would be having a fit and sniping about him. The guy couldn't win. And I really hate it that Ryan Seacrest set Taylor up like that. You could tell by looking at his face that he was extremely uncomfortable at being put in that position.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]misswindy, 2006-04-24 12:22 pm UTC

[info]misswindy
2006-04-24 12:29 pm UTC (link)
Deja vu!

Chris Daughtry = the new Ruben Studdard, aka the obvious and solid judge favorite that will win despite being perceived as not having nearly as much personality or versatility as the fan favorite underdog:

Taylor Hicks = the new Clay Aiken. Polarizing as hell, blatantly average looking but still called hot everywhere, killer voice that nonetheless drives some people bad-insane, and inspiring spectacular levels of wank from crazed fans, both pro and con. Will sell 239,723,634,967 albums... purchased by maybe 250,000 people, total.

(That will make Paris, Elliott or Kat the new Kimberley Locke - the most talented person in the Final Three, who will only get to 3rd place because s/he doesn't inspire the grudgewank power-voting that the other 2 do.)

I cannot wait for the Soul Patrol to start their FCC hate letter writing campaign when Taylor loses to Chris under questionable circumstances in May. Oh, yeah. I so called it.

(Reply to this)


 
   
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