Current mood:	sporfle!
Entry tags:	usenet wank

Tazering people is serious business!

Rejoice, fandom_wank - for I bring you Usenet Wank!

Over at alt.tv.twenty-four (the newsgroup for the TV series 24), poster KimStar makes a joking comment about Chloe's tazering (twice) of an asshat barfly during Monday's episode.

Wow. Chloe really took care of that pesty creep PDQ.

Wish I could git me one of them for when I go cruisin' the bars! ; )

Kim

The first respondant - Mark Nobles (whether being serious or a troll, I don't know, but the effect is the same) - takes offence to her tacit endorsement of tazer-based violence against horny men.

You realize that using one the way she did would be assault if she
weren't a federal agent? But of course, as a chick, you don't ever have
to worry about getting in trouble for abusing your spouse.
If this is why you go cruisin', get yourself some psychiatric help.

Bruce (representing 24's knuckle-dragging audience) backs Mr.Nobles up...

Most women go cruisin' not for the purpose of actually finding a man. They
go for the purpose of getting attention from men and inflating their egos,
along with the free drinks.

Comment 4: Kim: "LOL! Lighten up"

Comment 5: Nobles: Yes, of course. Domestic abuse is always good for a joke. You sick fuck.

Comment 6: BTR1701:

There was nothing "domestic" about the abuse she described. She was
talking about tazering random guys that hit on her in bars. That's more
like sociopathic serial crime.

(Yes folks, these are literally the first six posts in the thread)

And it gets dumber from here, folks... Have at it!

(Post a new comment)

	yattara 2006-05-05 03:37 am UTC (link)
	So if I go clubbing, and have a tazer or the like with me, I'm just a sociopathic serial criminal? And I don't just go clubbing, because I like to dance, no I go to wind up men and then tazer them if they respond. Head, meet desk. (Reply to this)

	ladyrogue 2006-05-05 03:51 am UTC (link)
	Wow. And here I always believed no one wanked 24. ...at least, I'd never seen any. Of course, that could be because Jack would kill anyone who badmouthed the show... (Reply to this)(Thread)

	yattara 2006-05-05 03:53 am UTC (link)
	I've heard about wank involving Jack's torturing people, and how this is Good and Holy because it's Jack doing it. But this is all hearsay. Though I d like your version of events. ;) (Reply to this)(Parent)

	freezer 2006-05-05 04:03 am UTC (link)
	There's plenty of wank over 24. Or at least I'd assume so. The forums over at TWoP tend to get a bad case of Teal Deer and I've just re-entered ATTF. (Off-season posts there tend to be of the nit-picky sleep-aid type) (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Edited because I know the difference between adjectives and verbs bigi 2006-05-05 04:08 am UTC (link)
	Oh, the 24 fandom is majorly wanky. They're always going at it on the 24um but I find that forum a bitch to follow/look at because of its layout. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	rekall 2006-05-05 04:03 am UTC (link)
	Seems like the tazer scene hit too close to home for some of these men who are protesting it. :P As a chick who's been hit on by creeps before, I say Chloe rocked this week and I'm going tazer shopping tomorrow. (Reply to this)

	oxydosic 2006-05-05 04:08 am UTC (link)
	I'm amazed. At the fact that usenet is still alive and kicking, that is. (Reply to this)

	(Anonymous) 2006-05-05 04:09 am UTC (link)
	People carry tasers around now? People can die from those. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	rekall 2006-05-05 04:29 am UTC (link)
	People have had them for at least the past 15 years. remembers the little old lady with a taser from Die Hard 2, which was released in 1990 (Reply to this)(Parent)

	annabelle_lee 2006-05-05 05:15 am UTC (link)
	Oh god, yes. Hell, even my mom has a taser. It's a lot safer than a gun and while it probably isn't morally right, it's a lot better than letting someone (in her case a nutjob ex who stalked her) harm you first. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	cyndra_falin 2006-05-06 05:18 am UTC (link)
	People carry around guns. They die from those. Also, people carry around knives. People die from those too. What is your piont, mouse? O_o (Reply to this)(Parent)

	(Anonymous) 2006-05-05 05:39 am UTC (link)
	Dudes! What part of Chloe being totally AWESOME when she tasered that guy did they miss. She was great. Tell me there aren't women who haven't had that fantasy when being hit on by skeezy guys. And did I miss the part where 24 was supposed to be anything other than outrageously fun fantasy? (Reply to this)(Thread)

	notjo 2006-05-05 08:31 am UTC (link)
	I thought 24 was Serious Business, yo. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	bubosquared 2006-05-05 09:17 am UTC (link)
	I've not even seen 24 at all, but I totally want a taser. Grab my ass, will you? Here, have a taser TO THE GROIN! Let's see how horny you are then. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	dracothelizard 2006-05-05 02:37 pm UTC (link)
	Oh god yes please! That'll make 'em stop giggling like demented schoolboys. I would've loved to tazer to guy who actually literally picked me up. Ass. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	bubosquared 2006-05-05 04:52 pm UTC (link)
	Elbow to the face works almost as well, I've found. Or grabbing and twisting their wrist. :D (Reply to this)(Parent)

delcj
2006-05-05 05:43 am UTC (link)

Yes, of course. Domestic abuse is always good for a joke. You sick fuck.

it's only domestic abuse if she was married or somehow related to the asshat barfly. but abuse of annoying strangers with a taser — now that's always good for a joke. (please note that i typed the preceding statement with tongue in cheek)

or maybe he meant it would be OK if Chloe tasered the guy while in France or Italy or somewhere else that's not domestic...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	chibicurmudgeon 2006-05-05 11:28 pm UTC (link)
	icon love! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	iwanttobeasleep 2006-05-05 05:50 am UTC (link)
	How do these people manage to follow the story line? I imagine it would shoot straight over their little heads. . . (Reply to this)

	nlb_muffin 2006-05-05 06:36 am UTC (link)
	I love how around the 35th post, out of nowhere someone brings up how liberals apparently have no sense of humor. (Reply to this)(Thread)

(Anonymous)
2006-05-05 06:49 pm UTC (link)

This liberal thought the tasering was hysterical! So did the rest of my pinko family. It was perfect; she got him out of her hair in a simple, fast way that didn't attract any attention. She had a mission and she kept to it by using that taser. If she'd been a man she wouldn't have had to deal with some jerk hitting on her. We all loved Chloe before, and love her even more now! She doesn't take shit from anyone.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

	lady7jane 2006-05-05 10:00 am UTC (link)
	The guy in question was just being annoying. That's not a crime at all. Like fuck it isn't! I demand a death penalty for every annoying asshole in the world. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	yattara 2006-05-05 02:34 pm UTC (link)
	Such a nice clean world it'd become. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2006-05-05 11:06 pm UTC (link)
	Clean? But by the time we've finished there won' be enought people left to bury all the corpses! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	yattara 2006-05-05 11:27 pm UTC (link)
	Burnination's always good. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	dracothelizard 2006-05-05 02:38 pm UTC (link)
	If he was sexually intimidating her it was! So nyah! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	mookie 2006-05-05 05:28 pm UTC (link)
	Well if we're going to take this 24 business seriously, we could point out that he was impeding a matter of national security. Ignorance is no excuse! Of course, I found it amusing as hell for reasons having nothing to do with the fact that Chloe was trying to work. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	seiberwing 2006-05-05 04:33 pm UTC (link)
	Um...joke? (Reply to this)

	cyndra_falin 2006-05-06 05:25 am UTC (link)
	Dude. Having the blood of the Ripley clone would rock. Id cute my hand and just burn the asshats face with it XD (Reply to this)

mookie
2006-05-06 11:19 am UTC (link)

After going through the entire thing, I can say two things.

KimStar's habit of signing her name as Kim "Insert witty comment on other posters here" Star was beginning to grate after the third or fourth time.

The fact that the entire thing evolved into political affiliation insults probably shouldn't have surprised me - but wow, I'd almost forgotten what the original topic was by the end.

(Reply to this)