Doctor Who Asexuality Wank (Is that a contradiction of terms, or what?)
So, last Saturday, the Doctor Who episode School Reunion screened. And some people were... not happy about certain aspects of the episode - namely, to do with sex and love.


So, in School Reunion, Sarah Jane - an old companion of the Doctor's - comes back, and certain comments are made, implying that they loved one another. The Doctor himself also comes very close to actually saying the L word to Rose (though not quite in the ordinary sense).

However, some people seem to automatically equate the word "love" with characters doing the horizontal mambo.

And over at doctorwho on LJ, people decide to express outrage on the subject. Repeatedly.

There is enough wanky batshit there to power a nucleur reactor, but some of the very best comments:

gdwessel invokes the D word: I'm not usually one to call out the ship, or non-ship, or whatever in this series, but good GOD, if anyone thinks that the Doctor and Sarah Jane didn't have a romantic/sexual THING going on after this episode you are positively DELUSIONAL.

theta_sigma decides that patriotism is for losers: Brits, pleeze! Remember your disdain for American television, 'cause that is what you seem to be embracing here... cheap, shallow, contrived emotional tensions...haven't seen this episode yet, and I already dread it...

anachronaut is all for sex. And robot-bestiality. And doing tree women. Just make sure it isn't Rose: Somehow I'm ok with the Doctor shagging tree-woman, or mayebe Pompadour, Romana, Captain Jack, K-9 etc... but the Rose thing makes me cringe.

mrtreacle thinks that lack of sex is what makes the Doctor special. And that Doctor/Rose = sheep-shagging: I would add that as a DW fan who's been such for, ooh, thirty years or so now, I'd come to the conclusion that the Doctor's asexuality is part of why he survives.

neohippie1 thinks that the Doctor loved Sarah like a niece. No, really: The Doctor didn't seem like he was with an ex-girlfriend, he acted like Sarah was his daughter/niece/little sister/whatever that's now all grown up and he's so proud of how she's turned out.

elethe opens his/herself up to flaming: Some people get very angry if you even so much as hint the Doctor might have some vague interest in sex of any kind. Personally I think that says a lot more about them than the Doctor.

tedmaul claims the Doctor never used to display any sexuality (with the exception of that pesky Granddaughter he had): Moffat's claim is fair enough, except that there's no hint at all in the old show (the presence of Susan aside) that he has any sexual urges.

backmasked proves the "Doctor Who fans are asexual" thing is complete rubbish: i have no trouble whatsoever getting laid and i've been a devoted (and vocal) drwho fan for ages.
i abhor the stereotype that all who-fans are asexual/gay/child-molesters/socially retarded.

the_barlow thinks that social retards are funny, and creeps me out a bit: But you must admit, it is pretty funny that a lot of Doctor Who fans are asexual/gay/child-molesters/socially retarded... Well, maybe not so funny that some of them are child-molesters, that's just scary!

neohippie1 declares herself a Doctor/TARDIS shipper: Of course you guys do realize that the Doctor's one true love in his life will ALWAYS be his TARDIS! No stupid ape could come between those two.

boji is apparently squicked by implied het, but is all for canon slash: And beautifully highlights the fact that he and Jack would have made a great pairing for as long as it lasted - not necessarily a monogamous pairing either.

garpu wishes everyone would just STFU: Jesus, not another one. Mod, can we have a moratorium on how many threads of the same topic can be started in one day?

ravenscanary thinks the new fan shippers are just pulling the ZOMG!OPPRESION card: Personally, I think a lot of the "new fan" feelings of persecution are sort-of self-inflicted and really a bit of a chip on the shoulder complex.

And finally, viciouscabaret sums up the entire wank: That's dreadful! Most Doctor Who fans can't get laid, the last thing they want is their hero flaunting it!


Funny how so many fans convinced that the Doctor is asexual seem to be able to find sexuality absolutely everywhere in the show, huh? It's worse than the Gay Agenda.

As a final note: Do people recall this Doctor Who wank on a similar topic? It was about a spoiler for an episode this season.

Well, that episode screens tonight. Be prepared for the anti-sex people above and the shippers to all go completely mental.

So how'd we all go on the Wankpocalypse Bingo?

(With thanks to nostalgia for pointing me to some of the best and craziest quotes. And the bingo card)