Walden Macnair, Voldemort, and beer: HP RPG brings the wank
I needed a break from the enthralling saga of charlottelennox, and an HP RPG is happy to oblige, with debates over the canonicity of Voldemort and Walden Macnair's hot sex life.

Thanks to Letty on wank_report for the links to all of this.



The first link brings a ranting soldurios, hard-core Death Eater fan. She's not happy about the quality of writing in an RPG she's been involved in:

The Snape - Totally emotionless. It was as though the player was just going through the motions but with none of the actually feeling behind it. It was as though there was no soul behind the character. There was nothing! To top it all off, the Snape player had Snape falling for an underage, femmy uke-boy.

The underage-femmy uke boy - Dear god. This is a Marty Stu that could beat out all the other Marty Stu. Tragic past? Check. Life as a whore? Check. Depression? Check. Pseudo-multiple personality? Check. Hears voices? Check. Wangst? Check.

It was abysmal. But I sucked it up because I'm a pathetic masochist like that. Plus, the Lucius and Draco players were all right. Other people had warned me about this rpg and advised me that this just wasn't the place to rp canonically or well.

So finally, I opted to get the hell out of there. Why? Because the mod (and yes, there was just one mod, yet she called herself 'mods') bitched at how my Voldie had sex with a Death Eater.

Yes, Voldemort actually had SEX with a Death Eater! No love involved whatsoever. Just anger and hate and the Death Eater was also slightly drunk.

Cue the threads of "You are so right, girl!"

Then in another post, here comes the offended mod with a metric assload of copied emails, and the wank multiplies.

Amusing from the main post:

Yes, we've been over this. A lot of people think Voldemort likes the nookie. Let's say he does. Let's say that there are RPs everywhere with him boning everything from here to New Zealand. I will give you that point if you will shut up about it. The fact remains that you didn't exactly ease into it. Why Walden? Why then? Why with beer? Why in a hotel? Why was there absolutely no kind of hint or subtext that this kind of thing could happen? They just kind of... did. And all your arguing over it still seems like it's trying to cover up something that you know was probably in poor judgment.

Anyone who wants to find the scene with Walden, Voldemort, and beer in a hotel, please do.

> Just how involved are you in the Slytherin side of fandom?

Not enough to tattoo a Dark Mark on my arm, if that's what you mean. I read Harry Potter for fun, and I RP for fun. Suffice to say that I am involved exactly as much as it takes for me to have fun. I have enough not-fun things going on that I don't need to worry about psychoanalyzing people that don't exist.
Perhaps this means that I am not a 'real' fan. It eats me up inside sometimes that I'm spending a lot of my time working on novels and earning money instead of memorizing spells. But, we all have to make our sacrifices, don't we?

Slytherinista vs. starving author cagematch?

The comments really bring the wank:

I'm being pursued from forum to forum! (with added tl;dr downthread)

Someone goes and reads the thread:

I read the Voldemort/Warren thread and laughed. Voldemort... suggesting... they go steal a bike. Suggesting. To an underling. Not even ordering.

That's like, oh. The Dark Lord Sauron suggesting to Sauroman that they should go steal Bilbo's walking stick.

Assuming it's canon, the man's been dead, and he's sad because he hurt his bottom. There are very few words, and most of them are speechless. (I'd also like to posit that sensual is not the same as sexual.)

Finally, everyone gets told off:

Well, if it makes you happy, your regurgitated wank now confirms for me that all three of you (Voldemort, Walden, and her Modliness) exist on the very bottom of the cesspool of bad roleplay. The Voldemort is a self-righteous, wildly out-of-character wank machine, the Walden feels the need to air other people's dirty laundry all over the net, and the Mod has zero self-restraint, no dignity to speak of, and, it sounds like, among the worst of all Marty-Stues in her arsenal of characters.

Congratulations. I never, ever, ever want to roleplay with any of you, or participate in any roleplay which the three of you might find moderately interesting. You three are what this community is all about.