KND fake death wank.
On July 10th, Vera, the friend of a prominent, well-loved member of the KND forum announces that she has fallen ill and is currently in a coma.

Inevitably, this leads to wank.



Cue mass sympathy, offering of prayers, art, poems, and lengthy posts. Even the show's creator is emailed, who personally sends Renee a get well email. At first her "siblings" give a spectacular running commentary as they sit next to their sister's death bed... However, forum goers are in luck, because in a sudden Christmas Miracle, Renee (flirtykuki101, who claims to be 17 even though her profile clearly states her to be 24) comes out of her coma, takes a laptop into the ICU, and gets online herself to personally recieve her well-wishers.

Sadly, the happiness is not to be, when multiple times throughout the day Renee's condition deteriorates and bounces back, dying and being "revived" approximately three times before returning to her computer in order to remind her fans how brave she is. The virus of course, is mysterious and rare... so rare in fact that despite her brother dying from it as well long ago, they don't know the name. However, it's not so rare that they don't know how it works: Renee only has seven hours left to live.



"Yes it was asthma and a viral attack. I have a virus that attacks the immune system (I don't think anyone knows what it is for sure) and it damaged things inside my body. and it's a rare virus that hardly anyone survives from... :'( and goodnight Numbuh 0xff! sleep tight! ;D"

" To tell you the truth I-I don't think I'm going to make it...I bearly have the strength to type on my computer..."

"Well I hope I can beat this Virus Limey I really hope so...No one has yet but I could be the first... :)"

"Well, the good news is that Renee stopped coughing blood...The bad news is now she's having trouble breathing again and her fever still hasn't gone down..."

"This is Renee's sister... she's holding her chest and having trouble breathing! I'm scared! I think she's going to die!"

"R-Renee's gone...They are trying to revive her with a shot that might get her heart to beat again, but right now she's gone... :'( :'( :'("

"It's not great you guys, Renee's heart is beating slowly...That's not good right?"

"Well she's awake now. she's just crying and she's very sad...We can't seem to make her stop crying, can you guys help?"




Twenty eight pages later marks the entrance of doubters, who proceed to kiss ass while probing the sick girl with questions. Marked concern is abound over the professionalism of her doctors and hospital. More users join in, and eventually the hospital name is revealed. In fact, all goes well until suddenly the two call shinanigans on page 34, pointing out several holes in her story, including that the hospital that she is staying at has no wireless connection.


Of course, these forums are known for their outstanding logic, and the power of reasoning remains supreme:

"I believe Renee. I don't care what 'proof' you guys have. I'm worried and I'm not going against her."

"I can't believe you all >:(. Renee's sick, she doesn't deserve this at all!"

"Look, I'm thinking the disease is very rare, so the doctors do not know its name, but know what it does - they have probaby identified it. I am thinking the hospital is pretty good."

"Wait....can't wireless internet be installed into a laptop? As in the hospital wouldn't need to provide it? Then Renee would be able to talk to us."



Renee's supporters scream in protest for several pages, citing that a sick girl's word weighs in greater than factual evidence, and proving that not a single one of them understands how the internet works. As further proof that her daughter is ill, Renee's "mom" gives a few words:

"Okay! I'm Lisa Renee's Mother! What is this that you are calling my child a liar?! Renee is Very sick! She's been sick for weeks now, we didn't realize it until after My daughter fainted. You got a lot of nerve calling my daughter a liar!"


Finally yet another detail is disclosed... a Doctor Simion who she is in the care of. Supporters bounce back, proclaiming that she obviously is telling the truth after all.... until two people confirm that the man's name isn't even on the Montefiore staff list.

Vera and Renee eventually resort to the only thing that can save them:

"I hope everybody who doesn't believe her is happy now, because her siblings told me she's staring at the clock, waiting and wanting to die right now. Her friends don't seem to believe her anymore, and that makes her will to live disappear. She told the doctors not to save her anymore next time, so I hope you're satisfied with what you have done."


More friends sympathize and cry out against this injustice... but with the bonus question of asking for just a little bit of proof as well. None is offered of course and eventually the sham falls and the post is locked.


Of course, that doesn't stop another thread from being created, giving way to one of three types of poster: 1) Friends who are upset and angry, 2) Friends who don't care what she did and want to forgive her, or 3) Silent friends who proclaim that they knew she was a fake the whole time. Even Vera makes another appearance, letting everyone know that Renee "died" three minutes after people stopped believing in her, and that her ghost has apparently deleted her username.

ETA: New and improved attempts to cover their asses have been made, as the entire sham is now being blamed on Renee's "siblings" who abducted the innocent's computer. For once, a few people aren't buying it... ignoring the supporters who happily proclaim "this explains everything!"

ETA the second: (this ocurred in a thread that is locked to forum members - however, the thing's open registration, if you're really bored.)

"I'm online at MSN right now. Suddenly Renee came online and was like: "Hey Vera!" I was like: O_o and asked: "Who am I talking to?" She answered: "Renee silly! Didn't my siblings tell you I was going away for a few days?" I answered no because they really never told me anything. Then she asked me what the heck is going on because she came back yesterday from looking at colleges, and she finds E-mails saying people are praying for her, and she can't log into her forum account. I told her maybe somebody knew her password and lied to all of us on the forum about her death. She said it's maybe her siblings and went to ask them. A few minutes later she came back and said it's her siblings who did this. Which means they made fake poems and pics and lied to everybody on the forum, including me.

I hope you believe this and don't think it's some made up story, because it's not. This really happened a few minutes ago. I was never part of their siblings' plan. It seems that they have made up everything they said the last few days while Renee wasn't even home + she was fine."

Uh... huh. There is a triumphant return, followed by more accusations are thrown about, including the fact that her siblings were supposedly staying at her grandmother's -

"I didn't give them the password. I keep my password written down so I wouldn't forget. Remember I injured my head so I had to write stuff down so I could Remember including my password."

"You guys giver her a break she is trying VERY HARD What do ya say? Everyone just forgive Renee and have this locked and frget about it?"

"Yeah, I think we should lock this and forget about this, and everyone stop questioning flirtykuki."

"I don't know about anyone else, but I'm satisfied. I can find no glaring holes in Flirtykuki's story, and besides that I see no reason this debate has to continue."

And, of course, "I am not lying! I Just proved myself!"


ETC the THIRD, my word: Shame on us for making fun of this brave, brave rape victim.