The Fragile Flowers Strike Back
Over on LJ moonlight_tryst writes a long, admittedly wibbly, post about furiosity's reviews and how she's scared of them:


I'm not sure how to start, really.

Do I dress the issue that's bothering me up in such a way that only I know what I'm talking about, but at least I've expressed my opinion?

Do I keep my mouth shut because I'm not one of the people who think it's a cool thing to do, because it's about freedom of expression and be dammed hurt feelings?

Or do I say what I think or feel & if fandom comes crashing down on my head - then so be it, it's been a great 2 years?

Okay, so here goes.



Let's start with the disclaimer first

I am not against free speech. Neither am I saying people cannot say or write what they want on their Lj, of course they can. But, I reserve the right to be concerned about something that may affect me without having the piss taken out of me, or being classed as one of those 'one to many drama queens' because I don't agree with someone when I express my opinion. This is not a furiosity bashing post. This is me getting something off my chest as it affects me.

The Issue

The issue is two-fold, I suppose and both parts are connected. The first part is my self confidence, maybe even my personality and what I get out of fandom. The second part is the latest trend of posting subjective fic reviews, positive or negative, on Lj for others to see. It's the negative reviews that concern me, because some people may see them as indicators of poor fic, which is not their purpose.The first part affects my reaction to the second part, making me unhappy with this development.

Setting the scene.

I've met terrific people - some of whom are now real life friends. I've read fic that ranges from truly appalling to breathtakingly brilliant. I've laughed, cried, chewed my nails with the tension or suspense, and squirmed in delight at the erotica. I've commented on most of the fics I've read, although sometimes it's hard to be positive, and I've been encouraged, rightly or wrongly depending on your POV, to write. I have found writing to be fun and frustrating. Sometimes the words flow, sometimes the process is agonisingly slow. Above all, I've enjoyed flexing my imagination.

Yeah, yeah, very nice, but what's this got to do with 'the issue'?

If fandom were a classroom, then I would be on the average table, working away quietly and occasionally turning out above average work. Not enough to move me into the ‘above average’ group on a permanent basis & nowhere near good enough for the gifted & talented group. And that's fine – really, it is, because I’m not suffering from delusions of grandeur. Neither, by the way, am I suggesting that anyone I know is.

So quit whining, bitch, and get on with it!

In a classroom good work is rewarded (or should be) and in the fandom classroom that reward comes in the form of recs. Now, before I go any further, let me make it clear that I do understand that one person's rec is another person's poison. Got that? Good.

Imagine, dear reader, how thrilled I was to discover I had been put on the hd_prophet's watcher Lj & that two of my fics had been recc'd. Thrilled? I was over the moon because it’s a form of recognition for that occasional ‘above average’ work. And please, all you successful authors out there rolling your eyes & muttering It’s all about writing for yourself & not readership, if that’s the case – why post at all? I’m being honest. This is how it affects me.

Now imagine knowing that, should any of my fic ever get recc’d again, it’s going to be subjected to a no holds barred review by one of the sharpest brains in fandom and that review will be posted where others can read it. And this, at last, is the crux of the matter.

I am not one of those confident suck it up bitches or go to hell in a hand cart types. If I were I could shrug this off. But I’m not and it saddens me. It saddens me because it will affect my confidence, and the confidence of others like me. Those of us just brave enough to finally take our feet off the bottom of the pond and swim.

I have contemplated asking the hd_prophet to take me off their watcher Lj, because I know, rightly or wrongly, that a bad review would knock my confidence for six. It’s taken the shine off being recc’d somewhat.

To the “Well that’s your problem” brigade - remember where I said that part of the issue was my reaction? Well, this is my reaction.

To the “Tough shit!” brigade - yes, I’m well aware that it is, because really, who gives a fuck?

Now, who knows the name of a good dragon hide outfitter?

Okay. Whiney, but give her an A for honesty, right?

furiosity replies. The discussion goes back and forth for a bit, with furiosity trying to figure out exactly what moonlight_tryst wants.

Then in comes mordryn4 with the WTF:

You do know you're part of the silent majority, yes? Similar to how the overwhelming majority of Americans feel about Bush..."

furiosity responds, and it turns out it was just a chance to go "nyah-nyah, I defriended yoooou! And you ARE scaring other people, you big meanie!"

Oh, fandom. Don't ever change.

ETA: Eeyore continues to be Unclear on the Concept: Day 8

ETA II: Bahleeted! But there's saves. Lots of saves.

The OP is in each link. Sorry for the constant re-read.

Original Post

mordryn4

But their opinions are OK!

More comments

Irony


furiosity

Odd comments

issues

Reviewing is fun

Why can't we be friends?


ETA 3:

One

Two

Three

Four

Thanks to fandom_plank for supplying these.

ETA: The "furiosity" screencap has been taken down, to help save the website owner's webspace; others may or may not follow. They'll return when the webspace is stabilzed.

Mother of all ETAs: Furiosity is back! Many thanks to princessdot for walking me through the ftp set up.