Snakes on a MF'n Wank!
So this is really small, but it's about Snakes on a Plane so I couldn't resist posting it. Because really, who wanks about Snakes on a Plane (well except for people on IMDB, but what don't they wank about)?

On the Rotten Tomatoes Forum Cpt Kirks 2pay posts that Snakes On A Plane is an INSULT to SNAKES!!!! He makes sure to point out that this movie will certainly end the life of all snakes on earth, like forever:
Fear and hostility will rise toward Snakes, many species of which are already extinct because of these views, and more and more Snakes will be killed, ending many species that are already on the endangered list. I have seen this done before to other demonised animals in film.

When horrorbetterthandrama points out: you're an insult to humans
Cpt Kirks 2pay comes back with his monster credentials: Oh I'm an insult to humans am I? Then how come I have gone round campaigning against all this kind of stuff and have been successful in saving the lives of so many animals? It's my profession and the organisation I belong to has gone worldwide.
And I bet you didn't know this: Now what about Jaws? That film was so overexaggerated and it also had many mature as well as children people seeing it - and look what it did. It nearly made the whoe Great White species extinct!!! I don't care what excuses you've got for artistic merit here. Nothing that this movie will do will justify the outcome of people's reactions. People will see a Snake and rate it's danger a lot more than before, after watching this film. It will be demonize them more, you can't deny it. It's been done before you know. You really credit the audience with that much intelligence? Fuxake! You know fully well that there will be ENOUGH, not all, but ENOUGH people in that theatre who will go out and hurt snakes more than before after they see this film.

And then some tl;dr happens. And more nonsense.

And then we are enlightened that God is ultimately to blame and everyone is OMGmean: Yeah, the same link to the Devil that Serpents got is the same as what God did to Lucifer to make him become the Devil anyway. He cast down and mistreated the Snake in the Garden of Eden in the same way he cast down Lucifer. He overpunished and was overcruel to the Snake. He now has to exist in his state and one that encourages fear and hositlity, all because of one mistake that God has never forgave him for or given him a second chance for. Everything deserves a second chance, but the Snake is not given one. I find this portrayal of Snakes as the EXACT symbol and example of how badly Snakes are portrayed and thought of and how they will be in this film. The same way that you are all viewing the Snakes but just won't admit it. You'd rather argue the point and state that you're right and I'm wrong. You've all said terrible things about me, and I've said nothing derogatory to you people. Just trying to have some kind of discussion and give you some intelligence about Snakes.

And finally, I have to say, markster wins the thread with this: While we're at it, why don't we get philosophical about other very important issues surrounding the movie: for example, the movie will probably damage the self esteem of snakes. More snakes may become burned out pill poppers after the release of this movie because they are portrayed in such a negative light. Snake suicides may be on the rise. It's possible that snakes may picket outside of the White House crying "discrimination" and political incorrectness. Some of them may appear on Oprah or Larry King to tell their side of the story. Then maybe you blithering "snake rights" activists will shut the hell up and actually ponder something important: you know, issues like: should dogs have the right to sport mohawks if they want; what do turtles really think when rabbits beat them in races; do gorillas feel "inadequately equipped" compared to King Kong; do cats get upset when referred to as pussies; etc.

EDIT: So somehow this thread has continued and after alice5295 makes a funny and obviously sarcastic post which reads:
Moralistic????? The snakes don't look very moralistic when they're swallowing a live mouse whole. What about the poor baby mouse? If those g** d***** snakes would convert to veganism like the rest of us, we wouldn't have to send Sam Jackson after their amoral a****. (Do snakes have a****?)

A new poster to the thread called masterjedidarkcaster replies with:
You blame a snake for acting upon it's instinct for survival and need for food? And who's obsurd here?

You want a snake to convert to veganism? Aren't YOU the stupid one!!!

Snakes are innocent animals, not violent assassins as this movie portrays them. They are beautiful, exotic and charming.

Take for example the Asian art of snake charming. What a lovely pastime to view and take in. It is breath-taking to watch a skilled charmer make the snake ebb and flow with every note and tone.

Remarkable. And you expect me to believe, after observing this occurance in its most naturalistic of forms, that snakes DESERVE to be destroyed by an irate Samuel L. Jackson and exploited on film?!!!

You sir are wrong. You sir are wrong.

And then the thread degenerates even more. Either this is someone from f_w making a funny or this wank just got twice as entertaining. I mean really...it's just Snakes on a Plane!