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A Nice Light Who Wank
So, who needs a palate-cleanser after all the HP and b_p things of this last week? I know I do, and this one comes with french fries.

time_and_chips is known to many wankers and many Who fans as the home of the crazy Doctor/Rose fans, who have even acquired their own name: the batchippers. But reassuringly, it also seems to be the home of the sane shippers as well, or at least the "not that crazy" shippers.

When it comes to the first kind, though, range_heidi knows her audience, or at least thinks she does. She posts an internet petition to the community including only two lines of explanation, one being, "If you still need convincing, read my statement and I'm sure you'll be convinced."

What is this incredibly eloquent argument she's sure will win anyone over, and what the petition is about? Well, the full text can be found here right now, but it includes the following gems:

"From day one, Rose has been a perfect match for the Doctor. She is his equal in every possible way, apart from maybe the scientific knowledge. Because Rose is so different from any human the Doctor has ever met, she manages to surprise and challenge him day after day. She has bravery, a sense of humor, and a quirky side to match his. She’s an independent thinker, always ready with a solution on the off-chance that the Doctor might not be on the ball for a change. In many ways, she completes him.

Ever since the moment I watched my first Dr Who episode, I have been enamored with the growing relationship between the Doctor and Rose. Their interaction and dynamic is fantastic, it’s real with its ups and downs, and a beautiful love-story that keeps the audience captivated. Having the Doctor lose the love of his life was cruel, and to put another woman in there as if she could just jump in and replace Rose, it’s quite frankly an insult to the bond they shared.

What if the Doctor searched time and space for a way back to his Rose? What if we could follow Rose struggling and failing to move on with life without him, follow the Doctor searching every corner of the universe for a glimpse of hope. Now that would keep an audience captivated, that would be an adventure!

Please do us -Rose’s fans- the favor of at least entertaining the idea. The audience are the people who keep Dr Who on the air, so please, listen to them."

(As I write this, the Doctor, Rose, and Rose's mother have all signed the petition. Jackie's is particularly moving, I felt. Supposedly the Three Bears signed earlier but have been voided.)

Startlingly, the community is largely unmoved by this impassioned and exceedingly well-reasoned plea, as several members instantly post comments expressing their devout hope that the range_heidi is joking.

range_heidi wants to know why they would think that.

And it all goes downhill from there.

We get:
- Accusations that people are being insulting.
- Suggestions that K9 the robot dog was better for the Doctor than Rose. (There goes several people's childhoods.)
- Speculation about range_heidi being a troll or sockpuppet. (She is the latter, but like they always do, she claims to have a good reason.)
- Indignant demands to know why someone who dislikes a character in a pairing is in its shipping comm. (With an answer everyone around here can respect.)
- Complaints about how spinoffs are all 'ridiculous'.
- Discussions of how stupid it is to already like Martha when she's never been on-screen.
- The interesting fact that she spammed other communities with this (Here at the least; I cannot explain why she chose to ignore rose_lives, which you'd think would be the obvious choice.)
- Apologies for how omgmean everyone was to the OP.
- A simultaneous case of both whining and attempting to appear superior.
- And, of course, pedantry.

Bonus: that's just the first ten threads! All this, plus an inevitable Fandom Wank name-check. Come on in, folks; it's a Doctor Who wank that isn't largely incomprehensible to outsiders, yet has touches of damn near half the wanks the fandom has had all year, and it's as close to friendly as Who wank gets. All tied up in a shiny bow, just for us. (As seen on clairvoyant wank.)

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(Post a new comment)

	velvet_mace 2006-08-18 04:41 am UTC (link)
	You know, this is precisely why Fanfic exists! So you can have still have your ship even after it's sailed. That petition was embarassing. As a person whose actually watched a fair amount of the orriginal run of the series, the Doctor (in his various incarnations) has gotten along fantastically with MOST of his companions -- and yet, left they did. (Reply to this)

	(Anonymous) 2006-08-18 04:45 am UTC (link)
	...I wonder what would happen if I told her that I was always kinda partial to Tegan and the Fifth, myself. That, in fact, it's one of my guilty reading pleasures. Ahhhh, wank. Love it. SLWatson @ LiveJournal (Reply to this)(Thread)