Castlevania canon wank
This is a tad old, but still pretty amusing.

For those who don't know, the Castlevania Dungeon is pretty much THE Castlevania site. It's gone a little downhill lately with the owner growing disenchanted with the series and a redesign that some parts still haven't recovered from, but overall it's still a great source.

The attached forums, on the other hand, are about the wankest bunch of fans you'll find outside of GameFAQs and 4chan.

The main thing they wank about is the current producer of the series, Koji Igarashi. He's made some decisions that pretty much split the fandom, and they're still going on about it.



First, some background, because this fight is about the story of Castlevania. Yes, there's a story now. Basically, for a long time the fans thought Castlevania Dracula and historical Dracula were the same, despite him getting a given age of 800 in the 18th century back in '93. Admittedly, this was in Rondo of Blood, about the one game that hasn't made it over to America yet. But it was later repeated in Symphony of the Night, Castlevania's own FF7, in the sense of being a game that got to be obscenely popular and changed the series. (also the first two games in which Igarashi was involved, rather heavily in the latter)

Anyway, after SotN Castlevania bounced around a lot, and four games were made by Konami's Kobe branch, Legends for the Gameboy, the two N64 titles, and Circle of the Moon for GBA. To cut things short, Legends interfered with a lot of previously-established timeline, and the other three were sidestories and slightly contradictory ones at that. But they're all brought over and gain some fans.

So in 2001 Igarashi becomes the official producer of the series. I think this is where he retcons the previously-mentioned four games, but the American fans don't get wind of this until 2003, when the PS2 Lament of Innocence comes out. And all hell breaks loose, because suddenly the Belmonts and Dracula have an origin that goes against a lot of fanon/canon made up by Konami of America in the NES days/Legends. Basically, LoI's origin is that there are these two knights, Leon and Mathias, and Mathias goes nuts, drags Leon through a vampire's game and uses him to gain the power to become a vampire. Leon is understandably annoyed, swears he/his descendants will hunt Mathias down, and they both kind of miss each other for the next few centuries. Meanwhile, Mathias changes his name to Dracula. This has caused confusion in a fair number of fans, as they can't figure out how or why anyone would ever change their name.

These changes either annoyed the fans that liked the four titles or had spent too much time in the library researching and pleased the fans that liked a sane story and the new origin. These two groups have been fighting since 2003. It's died down a lot now, (everyone just got sick of it) but occasionally someone will say the wrong thing and it's off again. This is one of those times.

Side-note: Igarashi is usually shorted to IGA, a nickname he used for the credit sequences before he got big enough to use his full name. So that's who everyone is talking about. (and this is by far not the only thing he's split the fandom over, but that's another wank)


So a newbie walks into a forum with a list of reasons why Igarashi's storytelling sucks and the retconned games should've stayed. This leads to some discussion and talking about the games until ANTHRAX wanders in asking why they can't all just have their own little timelines. He and SCMZ (the resident dedicated Igarashi defender) fight it out for the next seven pages. Features all the usual canonwank accusations and defenses, plus ANTRAXX missing some of LoI's basic plot points and using the old NES manuals as a cite. Standard, hearty fare, but with a sense of over-familiarity if you've seen any of this before. (I make a small comment in this one about half-way through or so, but I didn't think it was enough to take it over to i_wank)

Bonus: So there's a new game on the horizon, and a Japanese magazine finally gives an official release date for at least ONE of the regions. Joy and happiness, yes? Well, no. ANTRAXX decides s/he doesn't like the female character's design and proceeds to ramble on about it versus a female character from the previous game's design for quite a bit, much to the consternation of the rest of the posters. Short and dies down at the end, but nice as a chaser.