As some of you know, Avatar: the Last Airbender had its series finale yesterday. Many mind-blowing things occured in the finale, but since this is fandom, all the wankers care about is one thing: whose ships got sunk?

( Spoilery Ship Wank under the cut )

OH my fandom. You never stop wanking, do you?

Edit: Bonus wank from livejournal! (Thank you ueuecoyotl!) Character-bashing, creator-bashing, and plans for a rewrite. My Harmony flashbacks grow stronger and more vivid by the minute.

Edit 2: Limey404 brilliantly calls Avid on her bullshit. Wow that's some grade-A hypocrisy right there folks.

Edit 3: The batshit continues as Avid posts a follow-up. Just... read it. It's special.

Edit 4: Avid's BFF, Isaluvszutara, brings the drama in her own journal. Sheesh, don't these people have lives ouside of their ships? D:

scribe_porta: Dear fanbrats, HIS NAME IS ZORO, NOT ZOLO! No love, me.

fearlessfirefly: Oh come on, just because they use the dub names doesn't mean they're less of a fan! Maybe the dub's all they know!

saiyako: THEN DO THE RESEARCH AND FIND OUT WHAT HIS REAL NAME IS! True fans use the Japanese names, anyone who does otherwise is insulting the creator's hard work!

And so on and so on.

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

Hey it's CLAMP wank! =D

Over in clamp_rants, jlarinda, rants about people complaining about Syaoran and Sakura from Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles getting so many covers and splash pages, being as they are the main characters of the series.

Starts off well enough with people agreeing with the OP and then aniki_kurai enters with her own opinions reasons about why people like TRC, namely the slashable characters Fai and Kurogane and definitely not Syaoran and Sakura. At first people are a bit boggled by her statements but that does not stop her from insisting that most TRC fans are Fai and Kurogane fans, going as far to say they are entitled to demand more Fai and Kurogane art from CLAMP.

Of course people question the entitlement claim but aniki_kurai insists that because she is part of the fanbase that is buying the books she has the right to claim that there should be more Fai and Kurogane and less Syaoran and Sakura. She also then breaks out the fact she has a BA in Business and to quote:

well, i do have a Bachelors in Business for a start and some other general knowledge of life, that quietly whisper in my ear, that whenever big money is concerned, the world stops being as simple as "i do what i wnat and i don't care what others think" XD

And to top it all off she blames her foul mood on that it's been about a month break between chapters. Which for long term CLAMP fans is nothing compared to the suffering of X and Legal Drug fans are stuck enduring.

There are those in the Detective Conan/Magic Kaitou fandom that pride themselves on being a small, relatively wank-free fandom.

Then along comes Knightus Maximus, otherwise known as Knightus Detective Conan.

Once upon a time, Knightus and MagicBulletGirl used to date and work on translating Detective Conan manga scans together. This fairytale was not to last as MagicBulletGirl broke up with Knightus both personally and professionally early in 2007 and started doing scans on her own. He hasn't handled this well. Knightus accused MagicBulletGirl of stealing his scans and asked Icka! M. Chif, a BNF that fandom, to look into it. Icka determined that MagicBulletGirl was acting as a distro, so she didn't do anything. She did provide a handy summary of the wank to December 2007.

Yes, it's still going. So what happened?

Knightus responded to Icka!'s post by claiming, "She started it first!" and decides to steal MagicBulletGirl's scans of the latest Conan chapter. He apologised, said he fix it and never did. He proceeds to have a nostalgic dream about the past, then Knightus' close friends and fans rally behind him and proceed to her attack on his c-box (read from the bottom up.)

Being the benevolent soul that he is, Knightus and friends suggest that MagicBulletGirl stop doing manga scans because everyone knows competition is a bad thing. And what wank would be complete without some good old translator harassment?

Now, in addition to his normal duties, Knightus is also a moderator at the Detective Conan forums, where he proceeds to use his all-mighty moderator privileges to freeze the forum thread for English Manga Scans so no one but him can post to it. Despite complaints, the mods take two days to respond. 'Industrial Red State' is JD aka Kaizou, who runs Kaizou Subs. He started Kaizou with the purpose of running Kaze no Koe out of business, then 'retired' from Detective Conan anime subs when he succeeded. He and Knightus used to sub together. 'magicaldreams' is MagicBulletGirl's RL sister

Meanwhile, a friend of Knightus' begins to threaten MagicBulletGirl via IM and someone hacks into her site and starts deleting files away. Though Knightus claims to have an epiphany, his "father" suddenly jumps into the melee begins to threaten her on his son's behalf. Meanwhile, more files are deleted from MagicBulletGirl's site that are not related to Detective Conan, though MagicBulletGirl has specifically - and repeatedly - stated that she wants to simply be left alone.

Let me state for the record that Knightus is old enough to be taking the LSAT. In other words, he's in his mid-to-late 20s at the least. And yet, if this is his father, he goes and fights his fights for him - and urges people to vote for Obama while they're at it.

ETA 1: Knightus claims that "Daddy" doesn't belong to him. Is he really his father? You be the judge...

ETA 2: Knightus's anonymouses come out to play wank, resulting in the anonymous commenting being turned off. Meanwhile, 'Industrial Red State' comes out of retirement just for this wank!

Brand new ETA 3: Knightus: "I don't believe anything is posted on "F_W" for the purpose of being blown over or resolved."

EDIT--Yes I know the HTML is wonky. I'm not sure how to fix it, since I did it the same as I always do. And on the edit screen, it won't let me click the "insert link" button. Anyway, on with the wank.

ANOTHER EDIT--Ok, I changed it to HTML formatting and had to go in and change stuff because it translated < and > as bizarre strings of code. Just in case anyone has that trouble in the future.



Man, I leave a thread overnight and look what happens.

Anyway, I posted a thread in the Digimon comm about the first episode of the latest dubbed season, Data Squad.

Most people liked it, especially since only one unnecessary shot (of someone being kicked in the balls) was cut and the biggest change was a few names.

But apparently to some people, that's "butchering". Especially to Bucue, a known dub-hating troll who flames every topic having to do with the series' dubs.

But meh it's the dub, better things to do that worry how many limbs they cut off to amuse children."

or

"Funny here's me thinking they completely removed all the Japanese music and changed the character names.

Ah dub fans, can't see the trees for the forest~"

And, in a discussion about translating the main character's goals,

"Firstly, Do you know Japanese culture at all? [...]
Either way I'm bored of you, go enjoy your dub, some of us don't want to watch butcheries like this one. "


Oh yeah, because a dub with one missing scene that would have upped the rating is *so* far removed from the original. Riiiight.

Bonus--Yakuza wank!

From a mouse on wank_report.

We have Bhree, a Naruto fan who's keen on the boysex. She is also keen on the getting doujinshi for free on the internets. And when a doujinshi artist, one Rauhreif (also keen on the boysex), complains that her work is being distributed without her permission, Bhree says:

... she thinks she deserves money for taking someone else's characters and making them have hot sex without the creator's permission. When I heard of this, I vowed that I would spread my seeds of discontent along with BB2, and hope that I can hear her wangsting all the way over here in the states. She's a great artist, but it's a shame she thinks the way she does.

Commenters to Bhree's post are, shall we say, most displeased with her. Apparently, Bhree has screwed "THE REST OF THE FUCING [sic] WORLD" by trying to make Rauhrief cry. How so?

Because, as a result of this post, Rauhrief decides to try and ban everyone in America and Europe from her website. As reported on the livejournal community chuunin (comm is flocked, but anyone's allowed to join):

If this is Europe and America people's common view, I never permit the access from the foreign country.
I do not say, "Do not scan and upload" for money.
You do not understand circumstances of doujin in Japan.
You say "Let's make Rauhreif cry" by selfish reason though you do not understand circumstances of doujin in Japan.
Therefore, I also prohibit foreigner's accesses by selfish reason.

The poster on livejournal even courteously links folks to "THE ORIGINAL IDIOT POST" made by Bhree.

Comments on the chuunin post waver between, "Stupid Bhreetard ruined it for all of us! How can people be so mean?" and, "wtf Rahreif overreaction much? Banning whole countries because someone uploaded your porn?"

With everyone all >:| and D: the whole thing is just o.O and that makes me ^__^
And I promise to never do that again anytime soon.
And I also just edited to fix some typos.

For a while now things have been fairly peaceful in the CLAMP fandom. Sure there have been minor fights here and there but nothing like the glory days of X when you couldn't go five minutes without a Seishirou/Subaru vs Kamui/Subaru fight.

However it's CLAMP, so of course things weren't going to remain peaceful.

( Spoiler cut for up to chapter 160 of Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle )

ETA: su_chan gets banned from clamp_rants but her buddy lovelessinma keeps wanking in her defense. Which includes taking things to jlarinda's LJ.

I debated putting this on clairvoyantwank, but my list of links got so long, I deemed it just wanky enough to go on Fandom Wank proper. Feel free to tell me if I should move it.

Right, so as soon as I saw this week's Answerman, I knew there'd be wank aplenty. Fanartists are criminals? Check! Voice actor bitchery? Check! Poor oppressed Shonen anime fans? Check! And finally, the delicious Spooge Cherry atop the Wank Cake, religion in anime. I waited with bated breath, and was not disappointed in the forums. These are, naturally, the highlights. The entirety is a whole lotta, "I agree with so-and-so" and "My thoughts on religion."

( You're oppressing me! No, you're being too sensitive! )

Remember that Answerman kerfuffle with the Answerman bashing loli? The main issue was a Seven Seas manga release called Nymphet, a loli-themed manga. Someone posted a page of the manga with a young school girl writing down a request for her teacher to ejaculate inside of her.

( I hope for you to ejaculate inside of me )

Well, the title has been put on Hiatus, no wait, it's been completely canceled! Cue the finger pointing! Quite a few fingers jab in the direction of our recent lj censorship/delete fest wank. Cries of censorship go up. People froth at the mouth and vow never to buy Seven Seas manga again.

Oh, won't someone think of the lolis? They think of you, ejaculating inside of them.

As a semi-related aside, ANN has posted about the deleted/suspended journals issue.

Edit: And now there's a follow-up and the first comment brings another wave of wank. Seven Seas' manager, Adam Arnold, releases another statement giving a timeline of events, their reasoning behind the decision and replies to some of the accusations and insults that have been flung at the company. Despite the discussion link saying there are 17 replies to the article, when I click it I get a "No posts exist for this topic" message. Adam Arnold also mentions the situation on his Aoi House blog. (BTW, Aoi House is a fund read full of fannish humor and Arnold does some interesting blogging in that bottom space about his job and his fannisness in general [/plug]) And so the saga continues.

Disclaimer 1: It_glitters is a friend of mine
Disclaimer 2: She doesn't know much about anime, which she admits
Disclaimer 3: I think fanficrants has gotten a bit too wanky lately

So, it_glitters makes a post on fanficrants about the use of the word lover. Specifically, the use of the word lover when used to describe someone that another character simply has a crush on. For the record, It_glitters doesn't think the word "lover" really applies to someone she's got a crush on, otherwise the Red Power Ranger would have been her lover when she was thirteen.

Zandreilla disagrees, and since she seems to have an interest in anime, It_Glitters suggests that there might be a difference in the use of the word "lover" between Japanese-based fandoms and American-based fandoms, but she might be wrong.

Zandreilla agrees that It_Glitters is right, there is a difference between Japanese and American sensibilities when it comes to the use of the word "lover," however, she's not happy. In fact, she feels personally attacked.

Zandreilla: What you said was rather myopic and I have been considering how to respond to you where it didn't show how incensed I am at your prejudice.

It_Glitters responds: It wasn't an attack on your person or your fandom. It was just something that I looked at trying to get a feel for the person that I was communicating with. If I was in fact wrong, I would have expected you to come back with "You're wrong and here's why", and not go into a tirade about how I personally attacked you.

But, oh, it was a personal attack, in fact, "Not only did you insult my intelligence as a human being capable of understanding multiple cultures and their fandoms, but you insulted anime fans in general by the insinuation that all people who primarily list anime fandoms as their interests must obviously not understand much else beyond Japanese culture."

Aaaand, It_Glitters steps back and admits defeat.

There's also a little mini-wank concerning whether or not dictionary.com is the last word in a disagreement.

Assuming DOOM (TM) has not descended on the forums in the wake of a god awful prank by the mods, hopefully this gets posted. *crosses fingers*

Anyway,  ladies and gentlemen, I'd like for you to meet SKaze. SKaze asks  members at animenation a rather heartfelt question:

"How do your feelings towards anime characters of the other sex compare with your feelings towards real people?"


  ( LJ-cut to protect the sane )

So there's this Prince of Tennis anon meme. And while there isn't any one huge wank, there are quite a few smaller wanks, so I thought I'd post it here.

First off, we have complaints about the new fourteen-year-old fangirls flooding the fandom now that it's been licensed (funny, I thought there was plenty of badfic and stupidity before that, but I guess I was wrong). ashesto jumps in- she starts off sensibly, saying that hey, everyone was new once, but quickly devolves into wankiness and attacks on the original commenter. There's also people being fake-nice using tildes~ which is always rather amusing~ if you ask me~

Next, there's a BNF hate thread, which sees surprisingly little wank, but there's still some.

Then someone asks which fic authors should die in a fire. A lot of people get snippy over the nominations, and finally there's a- probably joking, but still a bit WTF-inducing- comment on how fic written by sexy people is better than fic by "Fatty McFangirls."

Someone makes a game attempt at spreading some love, and mostly succeeds, but there are still one or two people who would rather talk about how much the fic writers in question suck. This thread also features the old "you're just jealous!" line. Oh, fandom. You repeat yourself so.

Then there's cosplay wank, which is also the same as ever.

Then something about a squeeing Fuji fangirl who buys and scans doujinshi and claims that she drew them? I think? It's a little confusing.

And there's much, much, more- six more pages to be precise- but I have to run to class now, so I'll let the rest of you have at it. Enjoy the varied buffet of crazy.

ETA: The comm's been suspended, but hakugei capped the first five pages of the wank: 1 2 3 4 5

In case you haven't heard, Funimation is re-releasing Dragon Ball Z on DVD in season sets. Under the tagline "The way it was meant to be seen!", they're going all out; re-mastering the footage, re-dubbing the audio for consistent voices throughout, and making Dragon Ball Z widescreen for the very first time. You might say one of these was not a popular decision.

Over at AnimeOnDVD.com back in December, one of many threads is started on the topic, in this case by FUNiRepBlue, one of Funimation's official reps on the AoD boards. She posts an FAQ detailing what's going into the new season sets, including the decision to change the aspect ratio for the release.

Reactions are mixed, with most complaining about the change, some excited about the upcoming set, and pretty much everyone settling on a "wait and see" attitude. Fast forward to last week, when the first of the new box sets began to ship.

( So *that's* what it looks like when a wank goes Super Saiyan. )

So, who's up for season 2?

Manga News translates this article into English. It's an article about at least 30% of the adult manga involves children and that the manga are easily accessible to children so the Japanese agency is going to caution the adult manga store owners. All is fine and dandy until Anime News Network misquotes takes a part of the article and puts on their index page. Predictably, this lovely wank erupts (Though from what I read of the posts, there is never ending loli wank in the forums).

This must be part of the ffrants Christmas Special I mentioned a while ago.

Edit: BALEETED! D:

Pages 1, 2, and 3 screencapped by iris, plus subthread.

Modtags from jetamors: #1 ichiruki shipper, *fishslapped*, admit it you like the moderator tags, bleach rants, bloody hell not again, capslock can't make this cool, egotistical wankers, fap fap fap, my ego iz pastede on yey, new to the internet, otp rants, shipping rivalries, troll in the dungeon, vanishing post syndrome, wank fodder ahoy

Entire wank saved by pharae

Edit II: She's back for more!

Edit III: Deleted again! But Iris saves the day:
http://iris.superbusnet.com/tunes/temp/lolwanktwo1.html
http://iris.superbusnet.com/tunes/temp/lolwanktwo2.html
http://iris.superbusnet.com/tunes/temp/lolwanktwo3.html
http://iris.superbusnet.com/tunes/temp/lolwanktwo4.html
http://iris.superbusnet.com/tunes/temp/lolwanktwosub.html
http://iris.superbusnet.com/tunes/temp/lolwanktwosub2.html

Edit IV: MORE BALEETION!

Edit V: She's taken it to ffrantsrants.

des_butterfly posts a link to her KakaSasu essay to chuunin. Normally a ship manifesto might not be a big deal, but Sasuke is 12-15 in canon, and Kakashi is his mentor. Naturally, allthingsaaron feels the need to inform us all that pedophilia is Sick and Wrong:

Pretty lengthy rationalization for fantasizing about a nearly 30 year old man fucking a barely-pubescent boy.

Some of the highlights:

"It doesn't matter if they're fictional characters!"

Obligatory Pedobear appearances

GRATUITOUS CAPSLOCK

The age of consent in Japan is somehow relevent to this discussion!

The author weighs in.

And just when Avatar thought it could start wanking with the big boys. *wipes tear*

ETA: And they've screened everything. Meanies :(

I really don't know why Brakus!wank fills me with pure, unadulterated glee. There's just something compelling about a 30-something guy living in his parents' basement and begging for his creative genius to finally be recognized so he can die a happy Otaku.

But anyway...

( On the long side, complete with highlights )

Still going as far as I can tell, though Brakus himself hasn't weighed back in yet. Will probably grow a little bit more before the mods take away the lube.

Oh, and special note to vafan (aka Brakus): you would do best to 1) not sockpuppet this post and try to defend yourself again, and 2) take Dokool's challenge. For the record, I had planned on attending AUSA this year despite not making the finals. Unfortunately, something called "money" became an issue, and I could not afford it unless I was keen on taking Greyhound and sleeping in a tent, which I wasn't. At least not in Virginia in the middle of November.

Hats off to a mousie on wank_report; we've got short but cute Bleach wank!!

As we all know, the Wiki is Serious Business. And curse its editors' offspring when it puts - in alphabetical order according to first name - Rukia Kuchiki after Orihime Inoue on its BLEACH page.

ileenka, for one, spots this grievous error and sets the name order the right way - the one where Rukia is most definitely more important than Orihime. See, I wouldn't get all the fuss myself, until I switched Ginny with Orihime and Hermione with Rukia. Then this entire thing made sense. The Wiki changes it back, whining, "Look, we don't care how much you hate Orihime! Our decision is FINAL, young lady!"

And so ileenka bitches about it in her El Jay. She also links her LJ post onto Wikipedia, going, "Neener, neener, neener, look at me bitching about how you oppress me on the internet!!" So it shouldn't be surprising when Wikipedia editor finestela - who appears to have made his/her LJ to comment on ileenka's post - comes over to "clarify," right? You'd think.

Insults Highlights include!

Anything said by xjabedx. For example: Do you even know the rule of English? When you put names in alphabetical order, you go by the last name and not the first. Why don’t you go back to whatever retarded school you come from and ask your teacher to teach you the simple step of alphabetizing, you little shit. So before writing anything, you need to get your facts straight and try not to let so many stupidity drip out from you brain, onto the keyboards and into the web and infecting ileenka’s journal with your stupidity.

geraldtuyq: Are you stupid times two hundred and seventy nine?! Or is it retarded times seven hundred and fifty one!?!?

finestela: By the way, your breath stinks... I guess it has something to do with the pile of horse manure you've just shoved back down your throat...

geraldtuyq: Neutral system my ass, why do you need to vote for the order of characters? Just go to the OFFICIAL BLEACH SITE and take the order of characters from there. THAT IS WHAT I CALL FACTUAL INFORMATION.

ileenka: Finn guy: You don't pay for 90% of the servers on the internet, so why should your ideas prevail?

ileenka: Thanks for posting here. You have just proved yourself to be unworthy of being taken seriously.

And I'm not sure what fanartist is doing in there.

FreezePage hates me. :(

Over at the Princess Tutu LJ community, tomoyoichijouji asks the members of the community about what other series they're interested in. So far, so unwanky, until ryosato makes the following comment:

Well, I think the reason this happens is simply because Tutu is inherently an "otaku" show... it's not something the casual anime fan typically watches. And otaku, as we all know, watch a lot of anime. ^_~ I'd also say the reason they like Naruto and Inu Yasha aren't because those are necessarily similar in quality or substance is just because of odds... those are mainstream, easily accessable anime, and are incredibly popular. So I think that's all there is to that.

To which haro replies:

Yeah, IY and Naruto are just big because they're mainstream and easy to access. It has nothing to do with their quality level. Never mind the fact that they both had huge fanbases still long before they ever came to America and were only available in fansubs- therefore less easy to access than PT is now. They're also not hugely popular, and in some cases, crtically adored over in Japan either.

ryosato takes immediate offense:

=D Wow, can we say psychopath?

Take a BREATH before you post insane replies to people. O_o; The reason Naruto is liked by fans of Princess Tutu is because it's popular (the meaning of popular is of course that lots of people like it) so the odds are for Princess Tutu fans liking it. Also, because it's easily accessible, lending to its popularity. It was popular in sub fans, yes, but Naruto is popular in the mainstream now as well, since it's on TV. I work in a comic store, I know what I'm talking about. The same with Inu Yasha. A lot of their popularity is owed simply to the fact that they're ON TV, and therefore AVAILABLE to a HUGE amount of people that would never have watched anime otherwise.

I never said that being popular or mainstream was a BAD thing. O_o;;

Also, they ARE NOT similar in quality or substance. Quality-wise, Princess Tutu is above and beyond MANY anime. That doesn't mean they're BAD shows, just that Tutu had a lot more money put into it. The animation is much more consistent and clean, and everything about it had more time and effort and funds... so quality-wise it is a higher priced production. And substance-wise, I don't think you can really compare Princess Tutu and Naruto or Inu Yasha very easily. ^_^;;

So uh... yeah. Take a breath next time before ripping into someone for something they didn't evey say! =D It helps you not look like a complete lunatic.


And with a calm, reasonable reply like that, you just KNOW that things are going to end well, right?