Seems that the scans_daily LJ comm just got nuked. Moderator Scmevil has the details User Crantz is squarely blaming writer Peter David for getting the comm shut down.

Berkeley Breathed's popular comic strip Opus has come to an end. The author had informed the readers through the strip and interviews in Salon, that it will all end with Opus finding his 'final resting place' in November 2. Many speculations were had through those weeks on where the said final resting place will be. (There was even a contest for people to guess it, on BerkeleyBreathed.com. The winner would have $10,000 donated to the animal shelter of their choosing.)

The last page was posted in Salon, the given time. However, the last panel wasn't. The readers were directed to go to www.humanesociety.org/opus in order to view the last panel showing Opus' fate. But they couldn't find it there, either.

People were not pleased

( I've been waiting for TWENTY TWO MINUTES now )

Soon, the panel is up for viewing.

Again, some folks are not pleased:

( 'maudlin crap' )

Berkley later responds in the comments section.

But a lot to do with wank.

Approximately seven trillion Batman communities have sprung up on LJ since The Dark Knight came out, including several devoted (ostensibly) to the funny, like fuckyou_batman, agents_of_chaos, and batman_lulz; these join a pre-existing Batman-funny comm, capslock_batman. They all look for lullz in different ways - fuckyou_batman by mocking fangirls, batman_lulz by posting endless macros, and so on. Soooo...what happens when two or more of these communities intersect?

That's right. Splat.

So, omguxie, industrious little joker fangirl, purveyor of lullz, and wanker that she is, has created a couple of these communities: batman_lulz and joker_lesbians (peep the macro of the Joker eating the pink taco). And her wank gets everywhere. (Tasty amuse-bouche wank to whet your appetite: You can only join if you're a big enough lesbian for omguxie! EDIT BAHLEETED!)

It starts with now-deleted spamming by anonymous agents of chaos (but not necessarily agents_of_chaos). Apparently, the spammers used all-caps; clearly - CLEARLY - this means they are from capslock_batman. Omguxie makes accusations to this effect. Capslock_batman, in turn, do not appreciate this. Omguxie comes to the post to CAPS THEM BACK. Much advising to CALM DOWN IT'S JUST THE INTERNET occurs. I just wonder how they can tell who's yelling and who's just, you know, posting in capslock.

But wait! That's only part of the wank!

Meanwhile, back at the batman_lulz, "The Joker" posts an advisory warning to his fangirls. This is not funny enough for the lulzians, no! Cue 593 comments, at this posting (edit: 670 now), split between playing along, telling him he's a lamer, and posting macros.

Lots and lots of macros. A good portion of these by omguxie: the rare sight of a mod spamming her own community.

SEE! Omguxie charm a steadfast FY_Ber with her IRL cuteness!

WITNESS! The Scarecrow's arrival!

GASP! As they fail at eating their own!

Over at batmanholyland omguxie has her own tag ("omguxie is annoying and we hate her"), but sadly, they're smart enough to friendslock everything. Don't you hate it when the wankers keep their wank to themselves?

ETA: They macro some more on the fourth page. And by "some more" I mean "a whole hell of a lot". WARNING: SOME IMAGES IN THE EDITED-IN LINKS VERY NSFW.

ETA II: Capslock_batman already disliked batman_lulz (and it's mutual), though I'm unable to discern exactly where this originally started; and omguxie is something of a modwhore.

Fanboys are out in force on Rotten Tomatoes. There are six bad reviews of The Dark Knight posted, and each one has hundreds of comments, mostly consisting of "**** YOU, YOU PRETENTIOUS DOUCHE! I HATE NEW YORKERS!" Four (or five—I'm too lazy to check) of the six reviews are from NY, you see. Here are the posted blurbs from reviews:

"The Dark Knight is noisy, jumbled, and sadistic." 194 comments

"This movie is too in love with itself to make you love it." 334 comments

"This movie is grim and jammed together. The narrative isn't shaped coherently to bring out contrasts and build toward a satisfying climax. The Dark Knight is constant climax; it's always in a frenzy, and it goes on forever." 535 comments WARNING: alleged spoilers in the review.

"Visually impressive, but any hack can do a halfway decent job with trailer-ready tangents. Not everyone can push the genre forward, and the fact that Nolan's padded popcorn flick isn't the streamlined masterpiece it could have been is a real buzzkill." 200 comments

"Plodding, puffed-up kitsch mistaking itself for profound psycho noir that the source material won't support." 122 comments WARNING: alleged spoilers in the review.

"The generation of consumers who swallow this pessimistic sentiment can’t see past the product to its debased morality. Instead, their excitement about The Dark Knight’s dread (that teenage thrall with subversion) inspires their fealty to product." 201 comments

Everyone's a jerk! Yay!

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

Scans_daily gets a post with a preview of Volume 3 of Adam Warren's Empowered, a superhero comic about a incompetant superheroine who's always getting captured and tied up by somebody, or otherwise humiliated.

Anyway, gdwessel decides to do the unthinkable, and call Empowered "one of the worst fucking things I ever read".

And then the wank all kicks off from there...

Well, looks like everyone's favorite aardvark-adventurin' comic book writer is back for another round at Sequential Tart.

Highlights include his response, broken down into chunks and taking up a pretty long part of his return visit, to a post made by forum member WolfenMoondaughter, a volleyball game of statistics, more posts from Gail Simone, and of course the cherry on top that is extensive commentary from Talon T M.

Have fun!

Some introduction may be necessary, so...Marvel Comics publishes a line of swank hardcovers reprinting classic series in chronological order, known as Marvel Masterworks. The Marvel Masterworks Message Board, then, is a forum for discussing these books, and anxiously speculating as to which ones will come out next. Typical discussions go like "Should Marvel begin reprinting The New Mutants before or after Ziggy Pig and Silly Seal?

After some 25 years, the Masterworks line is getting pretty close to reprinting every Marvel superhero comic from the 1960s, which prompts Bilbo to proclaim that the Silver Age is nearly complete. But when exactly does the Silver Age of Comics end, and how many more volumes will it take to get there?



This goes on rather politely (if somewhat pointlessly) for a couple of pages, until ReviveTheRedRaven rushes in where angels fear to tread:




Uh-oh. This can't end well. Sure enough...

( I get annoyed when people apply that 'there was no year zero' reasoning to EVERYTHING. )

Recall, if you will, last month's epic 80+ page Dave Sim-related wank at the Comic Book Resource Forum, in which the rather horrifically misogynist views of Dave Sim are argued for and against at length by several persons, one of whom is Gail Simone.

It may interest anyone who followed that particular story to know that there's four pages of direct interaction between Gail and Dave (with a few others; the whole thread is six pages) over on Sequential Tart. Like the last one, the actual Wank Factor is pretty low (no CAPSLOCK OF RAGE!, no "stop being meeaan!" or any of that) but Gail, in that very nice way she has, hold's Dave's feet to the fire. Dave--sort of doesn't give hard answers. Because everyone's focusing on gender issues instead of asking him about his latest creation (Glamourpuss), which is why he's there, he rather civilly wraps it up. Then--

*ominous organ arpeggios; maniacal laughter*

--our old friend Talon T M (aka Rick Sharer) shows up to fling monkeypoo at Gail, because...well, frankly, because that's what he does. (Starts page four, a little over halfway down.)

Not the most gratifying of wanks, as it all peters out and Dave never comes back to comment on Talon's behavior, which I frankly would like to see. I suspect this is just another chapter in what will be a Cerebus-length saga.

ETA: Suddenly it occurs to me that Dave is basically the real-life version of Rorschach. This won't mean much to you if you haven't read Watchmen but...I mean, with Rorschach's mask off, they even look alike.

And now I'm giggling like a loon.

ETA 2: Glamourpuss linked correctly now thanks to ook.

ETA 3: We made When Fangirls Attack!! I'ma cry I'm so happy!

(Teal deer alert.)

And when I say "epic" I mean "80+ pages". I found it interesting and even I collapsed after 18 straight pages and just started skimming. Mercifully, the thread's been closed, but the whole thing's of recent vintage.

Over on the Comic Book Resources Forums, a member named talontm starts a thread about an article on Comics Village by one Rick Sharer regarding Dave Sim (creator of Cerebus, a 20-year-running comic about an anthropomorphic misanthropic aardvark) and his Very Brave (And Right!) Stand Against Feminism, including this gem of praise:

We needed a good slap in the face to wake us from our zombie-like existence so that we could somehow find a way to put an end to the madness with which Marxist-feminists have been slowly, but effectively and pervasively, poisoning our society.

That's talontm speaking, not Dave Sim. Because after a while it gets hard to tell who's saying what. Talontm shows in later comments that he is very much in agreement with the article's author and with Sims. FEMINISM IS EVIL! WAKE UP, PEOPLE OPPRESSED MEN! Talontm also goes on to briefly congratulate Gail Simone (one of the CBR forum's mods) on being recognized for some of her work, I suppose in an effort to make himself look enlightened or something.

The very second comment in the thread is from Gail Simone, who read the link and is having none of it:

What a bunch of twaddle.

...aaaaaand they're off. Major players include Gail, talontm, cedardryad, who is female and thinks maybe it's not as bad as all that, Paul McEnery who doesn't totally agree but thinks there's a case to be made for Sim's position, and a Greek chorus of politely outraged male/female/transgendered forum members (Evan Waters, Solaris, and Pink Bat Max, to name a very few) who argue with talontm to no avail. And I say "polite" in that they actually try to reason with him and nobody that I saw went into flailing capslock of rage.

Oh, and it comes out that talontm and Rick Sharer are one and the same. Surprising, I know.

Eventually talontm accuses forum member colleen of being a lying liar who lies, but doesn't really say HOW. Right around here my eyeballs started to cross, so YMMV, but eventually it comes out that this searing indictment of untruth on colleen's part is because she said she doesn't read Cerebus, but apparently got a free copy or something once, and read that. One copy of one issue of a 20-year comic. Clearly, she needs to be locked up for life.

Lots of fun if you have the time, including the term "Simogymists" for icky nasty gurls who don't like Dave or his Brave Stand Against Feminism, the position (Dave's) that the Male Light of Creation is devoured by the Rapacious Female Void (no word on whether that requires antacids afterwards), and the 80 PAGE stamina of a troll and mod locked in a sort-of mortal combat.

If there's a moral to this, it's that "Simone" rhymes with "own" for a reason.

ETA: Helps to link to the thread in question, doesn't it? *facepalm*

Prepare yourself for a shock, scans_daily is fertile ground for Witch Wank.

No. Seriously.

Old Skool Sabrina the Teenage Witch had offended poor bluefall which trivializes the Bullshit Burning and/or Drowning Times!

Gosh, there's just... nothing as funny as validating the paranoid Dark Ages rhetoric that was responsible for the horrible burning or drowning deaths of thousands of innocent women throughout history, usually for the crime of being remotely educated or otherwise violating the status quo.

Because Sabrina is shown to float in water.

Like a bar of Ivory Soap a joke only one person got, god, I'm so old.

And they're off!

EDIT: Damn Comment Freezer, it wasn't even THAT bad yet

Orange County Weekly writes a profile on Rob Liefeld, in which the lord of pouches and women with poofy white hair provides us with his deep thoughts.

( Article excerpts )

Anyway, not content to merely be an odd cookie, in a supplement on the profilers blog, Liefeld decides to attack the much odder (although believed to be more talented) cookie in the comics medium: Alan Moore.

We didn't get the right artist for him until about ten issues in, then the second year, they put together a great run. That 24 issues was as well-received a comic as you're gonna find, I still meet people who are like, wow, that was great, but we had no input. That was Alan. And to me, honestly, that was Alan's last great stuff. Because when Awesome, my main investor went belly up --my investor had a video game company, a recording company, andf a comic book company, and overnight, they were all gone -- and Alan, I think had really dug what he was doing with us, because by then he'd expanded it from Supreme to Youngblood, to Glory...I still have all his original proposals, they're a riot, dude. He's definitely taking archetypes and doing the Alan Moore version...I called him up one time and said, 'Hey Alan, how about we do a Teen Titans style book,' and he went quiet and he goes 'That's what Youngblood is.' I thought that was our Avengers-type book."

"But then he took that formula and just kinda did that same thing, I mean, Tom Strong is Supreme, it's flattering that he found his groove back with us and started winning awards back with us because people forget, he'd fallen off the map, you can't really find a great Alan Moore book from '90 to like '96, when he did Supreme, even the stuff he did for Todd [McFarlane] was derided like he was asleep at the wheel, like he didn't care because it was campy, whereas with Supreme he gave it that Silver Age with a twist, and nobody was doing that. And again, what he did for Supreme was ripped off for the next five years by all the other writers. He's always been a trendsetter."

"If you've done business with Alan, you have a different opinion of Alan. He markets himself as a poet, but he's just a ruthless businessman, like everybody else, he kept wanting to more work because he just wanted to get paid. Jeph Loeb, he can tell you."

Fans do not react well to this:

( Read more... )

Of course, Rob Liefeld fans call OPPRESSIUN by the hat0rz:
( Read more... )

There's also some "Alan Moore's magic is just like your belief in God!" mini wank, but it doesn't bring much funneh so let's not care.

Then, on the Newsarama blog post, Rob decides to play with the anti-fans.

Alan makes deals, then decides later that it wasn't good enough, torches the previous deal, pouts and goes back to his corner.

He killed his Wildstorm deal, he balked when I wouldn't accept Steven Moore as the next Supreme writer for his year 3 project, He killed the Watchman toys that DC had set to roll 10 years back ... for what good reason? He said he would bad mouth them so DC backed off and killed all the merchandise.

He's a great writer when motivated, no different than most others. He hides behind principle while he has his hand out for more control and or more money than he previously negotiated.

And if all his magic nonsense is real then why didn't he go into the dream realm before he wrote Watchmen and see the future success he would achieve and decide to keep all the rights to himself?

Anyways, I'm perfectly satisfied with all my Alan Moore stories and look forward to future collections and perhaps having his earlier Supreme issues re-drawn.

Some fans disagree with Liefeld's interpretation of the events. Others go "LOL! You still can't draw feet, dork!" And so it goes.

ETA: The wank as told by dinosaurs

Slightly stale and quite small wank from the Comic Book Resources forums, where I'm sure there's lots more wank I'm not planning to fish out. But this one felt kinda appropiate after Boldthrough.

bmschweigert posts the link to a Supergirl fanart, apparently mistaking it for an official picture.

Alex A Sanchez:

I love her current costume. It might be neat to read a few stories about this "cute" supergirl, but as far as the regular comic, I like my "sexy" Kara very much thank you.

Cue Ravenwing263 registering (or sockpuppeting) just to tell that dirty bastard off:

Dude, she is a sixteen year-old girl. Unless you are a boy under the age of eighteen, you are a disgusting pervert.

trickster points the obvious:

You registered to call somebody a pervert? What a loser.

Alex A Sanchez enlightens us:

#1. She's a fictional character, dweeb. Her "age" is whatever the reader projects it to be. (???) That would make you a pervert for projecting anything disgusting about the character.

Ravenwing263 is still mad and not taking it anymore:

And, finally, yes, I would still have made the statement if you were gay, or a straight woman, because you still professed your interest in carrying on the disgusting, sexist tradition of a "sexy Supergirl."

They have this new thing now, called "porn." If you try it, you won't have to keep getting the pages of your comic books stuck together.

( More teal deer with original formatting )

This wank has comic fans getting ripped off, Doctor Strange telling someone to fuck off and John Byrne actually being a nice man (Though he'l probably still deny he's Canadian).

Forum structures make formatting this in an organised maner hard, so I apologise for that, but I figured that questions of professionalism, blatant lying, threatening lawsuits and one of the better spelling wanks on the side made it worth it.


It seems that comic artist Michael Golden is doing cons and comissions again. The only problem is that he seems to be taking a bit longer than expected to complete comissions. It seems that art he promised to finish in 2 months has been taking much, much longer. Though, he claims that he never promised it in that time or industry work comes first or verbal contracts don't count or something. Apparently, four individuals who had each paid several hundres dollars may have tried to check in and see why there art was taking several extra months and/or threatened Mr Golden, depending on which side you ask. As a result, Michael Golden sent each of them super-half-assed pieces that barely met their comission descriptions and at least two of them have confirmed they have the message written on them, "Patience is a Virtue". Golden gets bonus points for mispelling "Virtue" on one of them, instantly making the entire situation seem more campy-rediculous than an issue of She-Hulk.


You can view the piece with the mispelling here at John Byrne's forum, along with discussion:
http://www.byrnerobotics.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19898&PN=1&totPosts=13

A few entries down on that page, you can see John Byrne offering to send the guy a drawing of his that is "actually worth $500". Somewhat cocky and possibly with a personal agenda, but it seems like Byrne is actually trying to be nice to someone on his forum. Armageddon may be upon us.

( more links and the story thicken )

Gaia Online's Comic Discussion Forum is actually a fairly sane place to talk about comics. Most of the posters are pretty intellegent fans who have actually lucid and clear ideas on the books they read.

But naturally, there are some exceptions....

One subject has come up that has brought out the trolls like a goat carcass on a bridge. It's spawned a lot of talk and rancor, especially on the part of one poster, who role plays Spiderman.

What has brought out such vile?

Marvel's Civil War or World War hulk? No

DC's Countdown? No

It is in fact, Squirrel Girl that has generated all this hatred....

deleriumschild (who I'm fairly certain has been wanked before, but I didn't find anything in the wiki) cross-posts her er... comic book idea, if it may be called such, to several communities, including comicfangirls.

People respond with confusion, TL;DR, and equally incoherent insults.

Relatively small, but wanky if just for the "I'm self published, so nyeah!" factor. Oh, and vague threats to commit pseuicide, oh noes!

But I am sorry about the people trying to kill you and steal your magic powers. That has to suck.

Edit: Baleeted. :( Oh wait, but we have a screencap, courtesy of winterfox!

Son of Edit (thanks jat_sapphire): I Gaurantee that it will be on the shelves of comic stores and I garauntee people will buy it. Also baleeted!

How many jurisimprudence laws does that break? Bonus points for misspelling "guarantee" two different ways.

Son of son of edit (thanks chaimonkey): The text of her original post is still up over in comicbooklovers. With bonus entirely different wanky comments!

Great-grandson of edit (again thanks to chaimonkey): Moping in her LJ!

Countdown until the wanker shows up here? Aww, anon comments are off. Perhaps not, then.

Descendent of edit: She's at it again! Crossposting, even!

From a most excellent mouse over at wank_report, I bring you that tastiest of cakes: comics wank.

For those of you who don't follow such things, DC Comics superheroine Black Canary and superhero Green Arrow, after years of on-again off-again romance, have decided to tie the knot.

Because it is DC, and they're . . . DC, they have apparently put together a big hoopla for this, complete with a one-shot devoted solely to Black Canary doing the wedding planning.

Pervyficgirl is not entirely pleased.

( Join us on a wankantic trip down the aisle. )

In the wake of recent boob wank and tentacle wank, I bring you a slightly stale...penis wank!

Christopher Butcher makes a post to his blog entitled Afraid of Cock concerning the recent reaction to a picture of Citizen Steel with a larger than comics-normal package.

Not me, of course, but take a trip around the internet lately and you’ll find that the poor, put-upon fanboy is being subjected to higher-than-normal ammounts of cock by the unfeeling bastards in charge of the comics industry. How’s that for the antithesis of the typical complaints about homosexuality and even male sexuality in comics?

He goes on to provide complaints from other sources and counterarguements to those complaints. People are nonplussed, even when Butcher posts pictures of men in underwear to show that with great genitals come great packages. Arguements continue on whether it's oversexualized or not, if Steel is having an erection, and if people are complaining too much or not.

And finally the Joker gives his opinion.

Laundrygate continues!

Adam Hughes, the artist behind the infamous Mary Jane statue, says that we're interrogating it from the wrong perspective.