I'll let the OP on FFR say it best:

Next Entry
Dear fanficrants,

Quit saying "fanbrat". It's annoying and reeks of superiority.

Bitching and accusations of fanbratism ensue, as well as many exciting words to use synonymously with fanbrat.

Edit: Teh wank lacks wank. I apologize. :( My eyes shall be pecked out by fangulls.

Just when I think I've seen just about everything wanked there comes Gay German Soap Opera wank. Credit for writing the report goes to the Anonymouse over at wank_report. All I did was fix the html as there really was nothing to add.

Once upon a time in fall 2007 there was a German soap opera named AWZ (Alles Was Zählt) with hot gay kissing. So the blog romanunddeniz.blogspot.com was created to post youtube clips and spoilers for people to squee about.

All was well.

Except then hot boy 1 starts declaring his love for some chick and dicking around behind boy 2's back. The fans are stunned. Denial. Anger. Depression.

Just as hot boy 1 is stepping out on hot boy 2, a second German soap named VL (Verbotene Liebe) pops up and also features hot boy kissing. People bring up those two guys from As The World Turns and Hollyoakes. People are curious how gay storylines are being handled all over the world. And so romanunddeniz.blogspot.com turns into gaydaytime.blogspot.com where clips from gay storylines in daytime and primetime are posted and everybody lives together peacefully, right?

WRONG.

The VL storyline gets linked in a couple of places, it has subtitles and some people are really feeling it. The fans of AWZ feel neglected. They complain that blog owner Wolfi doesn't appreciate the subtle humor and superior writing of AWZ when he complains that a soap doing a storyline on a killer virus is stupid. And why or why don't people acknownledge that AWZ is clearly the vastly superior German soap opera featuring two guys swapping spit? (notice user chrisms and gabi, they are gonna show up again)

So Wolfi makes a main post defending his decision and his right to think killer virus storylines are stupid. He expresses his anguish over the good old AWZ days when they were all so happy together and his sadness that when his blog featured a poll asking people that if they could cancel a soap from the gay daytime lineup people picked AWZ rather than As The World Turns as he expected.

The AWZ fans go quiet for a while.

Except then suddenly things start looking up for AWZ. The female love interests disappears. Hot boy 1 starts taking cocaine and dryhumping hot boy 2. Some people are feeling it, some don't. chrisms complains that people don't see that the VL storyline is badbadbadwrong.

The next AWZ clip gets posted and chrisms complains that not everybody thinks that having sex with your ex-boyfriend while he is on drugs is stuff we all would do when we are in love. Some people call boy 2 a whiner. chrisms and anonymous accuse each other of having wrong expectations of the soap genre.

The next clip gets posted and chrisms tells people how they really feel about VL storyline, about people not appreciating the sublime beauty of the AWZ story and how they gleefully wait for the day when VL goes down in smokes.

Anonymous (that makes the wank suck a bit, most VL fans tend to use anonymous, in the squee posts too) steps in and says that "asshole fans" like chrisms are keeping them from having sympathy for the story.

Chrisms friend Gabi steps in and calls anonymous on being an anonymous and calling chrism an asshole. Anonymous comes back and defends their decision to call chrisms an asshole and proceed to praise apparently without irony how much less petty they are than the AWZ fans. People award points to gabi. Other anonymous steps in and indicates that chrisms a hypocrite for complaining about the level of discussion the blog is compared against their statements about the level of intelligence of the VL fans.

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

Fanficrants again. And yet, not a single thought on yaoi in sight. Instead, we have emmabrock posting a review she got on a recent story of hers, as you do. However, the fanfic review -- the fandom for which is never even mentioned -- is really secondary to the real purpose of emmabrock's post, which is: Homeschooling!

The wank wastes no time, as emmabrock helpfully shares some of her, "ah, research," by which she means googling for homeschooling vs. publicschooling wankbait. Helpfully, she posts some of her results, which 'prove' that homeschoolers regard public-schoolers as barely one step above microbes.

So, are public-schoolers illiterate, drooling retards, or are home-schoolers surly, elitist, socially malformed trolls? Judging by some of the responses to emmabrock's post, I don't see why both can't be right:

( Some, but not all, of the wank below... )

"Intelligent, reasonable, and open-minded?"

lawl.

Well, apparently the mods at least aren't open-minded enough, because emmabrock promptly gets banned for editing her post. And then unbanned a little later because she might not actually have edited her post, maybe. Oh, well, as long as we're clear on what we're doing and why.

Comments devolve into "My Thoughts On Education" on the second page off the FFR post with no new comment thread kerfluffles to show for it, but in the meantime the wank moves to a reaction post on fanficrantsrants, where people are shocked I say, just shocked irritated by the mod's overreaction.

Ah I have been away from f_w for some time due to my life being teh busy suck, so I'm not sure if there has been Ghost Hunters wank posted lately, but since most of this pertains to the Halloween live show I doubt it repeats anything from before.

I ventured over to the Sci-Fi forums to see what happened in the wee hours of the Halloween live broadcast because due to my having to work at unseemly hours I only got to watch until 11pm and wished to catch up on anything important that happened before Wed. Instead I seemed to have walked into Ghost Hunters wank central.

Apparently two of the female investigators were rude while training one of the contest contestants during the live broadcast which is brought up here, here, here, here and in apparently deleted comments, here and in a radio broadcast to come, here and in a petition!, and so on.

Added onto that there seem to be a lot of people upset that the forum is getting too critical of TAPS, and a lot of people upset that ZOMG TAPS has changed! And let us all down with their changedness! (Which personally makes me LOL) and that Jason has become some kind of message board dictator? Here, here, and other places I'm too tired to read.

The text of all this includes possible sock puppetlyness, evil cows and other weighted remarks, for serious English majors, for serious investigators, for serious Wiccans, for serious teachers (and other for serious things!), tl;dr thoughts on yaoi Ghost Hunters, ageism, and the American military. Phew.

( Highlights perhaps... )

And so on and so on till the end of Ghost Hunting time. And all I wanted was to know if they caught anything on camera after I went to bed.

In the LJ community Renfaire Worker there is an off and on debate about who qualifies as what in the Ren Faire World. Most of these have been rather tame and short.

Enter jcterminal who has come to preach the gospel to the unwashed masses (probably because the faire didn't spring for showers for their employees) as to who can be bestowed upon the title of True Rennie and who are the wanna-bees.

Oh, but the unwashed have a problem with his words. In fact they have a lot of problems with the gospel according to Jcterminal. But of course those people are evil and should be infected with AIDs or some other horrible thing.

the Gospel according to St. JcTerminal

EDITED to try to lose my fail at HTML

Over at the Princess Tutu LJ community, tomoyoichijouji asks the members of the community about what other series they're interested in. So far, so unwanky, until ryosato makes the following comment:

Well, I think the reason this happens is simply because Tutu is inherently an "otaku" show... it's not something the casual anime fan typically watches. And otaku, as we all know, watch a lot of anime. ^_~ I'd also say the reason they like Naruto and Inu Yasha aren't because those are necessarily similar in quality or substance is just because of odds... those are mainstream, easily accessable anime, and are incredibly popular. So I think that's all there is to that.

To which haro replies:

Yeah, IY and Naruto are just big because they're mainstream and easy to access. It has nothing to do with their quality level. Never mind the fact that they both had huge fanbases still long before they ever came to America and were only available in fansubs- therefore less easy to access than PT is now. They're also not hugely popular, and in some cases, crtically adored over in Japan either.

ryosato takes immediate offense:

=D Wow, can we say psychopath?

Take a BREATH before you post insane replies to people. O_o; The reason Naruto is liked by fans of Princess Tutu is because it's popular (the meaning of popular is of course that lots of people like it) so the odds are for Princess Tutu fans liking it. Also, because it's easily accessible, lending to its popularity. It was popular in sub fans, yes, but Naruto is popular in the mainstream now as well, since it's on TV. I work in a comic store, I know what I'm talking about. The same with Inu Yasha. A lot of their popularity is owed simply to the fact that they're ON TV, and therefore AVAILABLE to a HUGE amount of people that would never have watched anime otherwise.

I never said that being popular or mainstream was a BAD thing. O_o;;

Also, they ARE NOT similar in quality or substance. Quality-wise, Princess Tutu is above and beyond MANY anime. That doesn't mean they're BAD shows, just that Tutu had a lot more money put into it. The animation is much more consistent and clean, and everything about it had more time and effort and funds... so quality-wise it is a higher priced production. And substance-wise, I don't think you can really compare Princess Tutu and Naruto or Inu Yasha very easily. ^_^;;

So uh... yeah. Take a breath next time before ripping into someone for something they didn't evey say! =D It helps you not look like a complete lunatic.


And with a calm, reasonable reply like that, you just KNOW that things are going to end well, right?

Over on the egl community, mach2kudou posts a photoshoot of her in a Metamorphose dress. She specifically asks that no one offer constructive criticism on her hair, accessories, or makeup (but not on the dress itself). Most of the commenters are fairly positive- a lot of "Actually, I hate that dress, but it looks good on you!" sort of stuff.

However, then things start getting a bit nasty. ( Read more... )

(Posted to fandom_wank because the mabet fiasco was posted here, but if this should go to otf_wank, let me know.)
( ETAs )

It seems this year's Ushicon went horribly. I keep finding wank on both sides, in Marzgurl's LJ especially this thread, and this from one of the con heads. I can't quite figure out what's going on, other than it won't be held next year.

ETA: I think I might have figured it out. Partially, anyway. Marzgurl had problems getting her press pass, wasn't allowed to film in the dealer's room, and thought everything basically sucked, so she said so. Calls of entitlement whore by driftpeasant, and lots of wanking between them and other random friends, gonsai and gaara_shinobi. The other entry in the journal of snaketao seems to sum up as UshiCon goers suck, a lot, and people were arrested, and they're sick and tired of this, so they're not doing the con anymore.

( choice TL;DR comments, with bolding at the fun parts )
Katamari Edit-cy:( Cons aren't about having fun? )

Recently, HBO, arguably the world's most popular Halo fansite, linked an obscure gaming blog known as Tied the Leader. The authour is self-confessedly a Halo 2 fanboy. Pawing back through the archives, I discover a post with 92 comments, compared to the blogs usual, oh, two.

"Bungie. Smarter Than You."
This post is the single farthest I have ever seen anyone go just to say "STFU" and Reducto Ad Nitpicker. (admittedly, some of the complaints he quotes are ridiculous, such as blaming Bungie for the fact that a controller thrown 'cross a room will break) The comments are all either "I agree" or "ur wrong". A good number of them seem to come from Halo2Sucks, a website mentioned prominently in the article.

( from their front page; a statement of intent )
In short, they're basically Halomians. Their website contains such gems as this, which purportes to be from a former Bungie consultant. I'm not sure if it's a parody or serious. The forum has a post wherin a guy figures out that the game sucks from playing it once. Also, Halo 2 is dead. It's the weapons! It's not the fact that I suck! Honest! And an entire subforum more.

From the replies on the TtL post;

Halo 2 fans:
Imagine that. A game that rewards the player for being smart. Here's an idea! Learn to counter the weapons! The OP speaks! It's a slippery slope, man! Um, you've started a war. "LT Colonel Halo Hater, Sir." is now in my vocabulary.


H2S:
Having to find good weapons and make do with one's spawns=weapon whoring. Dual weilding=easy kill. Not what they wanted=bad. Pardon me while I miss the point. I call you on your error while missing the larger point! Ur a moran! H2S is t3h revolution! Halo 2 would be good if it were the first in a series.

Neutral:
STOP WANKING. Look! I can use latin! This post seems to have been written about another fandom entirely (*cough*PrinceOfPersia*cough*). I'm sorry, I seem to have lost my point.

Dramatic Reading forthcoming.
EDIT: Dramatic reading of the H2S SoI done. Can anyone torrent it? Knowing F_W, Yousendit will drop the file by nightfall.

*Bragging? Where?

Over at GameFAQs, on the Wild ARMs 4 board, somebody makes a topic claiming that Wild ARMs now has its Mystic Quest. Apparently, the fact that someone has the gall to not like this game upsets the more...rabid fans all worked up. For about twenty posts. Then the topic switches to whether or not Final Fantasy IV sucks, and "Is Xenosaga really deep?"

The level of elitism in this one is just astounding.

onlyinfatuated over at eljay wrote a lovely little manifesto on Purebloods in the HP universe and why they're oh so much better than half-bloods and mudbloods for obvious reasons. Behold the glory! Nobody asked your opinion, you filthy little mudblood!

( Highlights in fictional bigotry ... or frustrated attempts at wish fulfillment? )

Late ETA: ZOMG! Flocked now. :'(

Over at fanficrants, grand_sealink rants about the Howl's Moving Castle fandom.

Included in the rant:
1. The Prince was NEVER in love with Sophie. Shut up.
2. It's MICHAEL. Not Markle. Not Markl. MICHAEL. (YES, you stupid bastards, Hayao Miyazaki and/or fansubbers GOT. IT. WRONG.
3. Sophie has TWO sisters, not three, not eight, not 932857293875. Their names are Martha and Lettie.

HORRAY FOR ELITISM!

What grand_sealink fails to realize is that she was ranting about how inaccurate Miyazaki's movie is compared to the book, and people go crazy. Well, not so crazy as one can get when calling another person an elitist.

And of course, grand_sealink comes to defend herself, but instead of editing her post, leaves it in the comments where no one is likely to see. (besides luna_hoshino, who seems to be moving in for the kill.)

Today's lesson: Think before you act and make sure you specify your "canon". Not everyone has read the Howl's Moving Castle book, so you shouldn't go around all high-nosed about it when the fangirls get it wrong.

First wank - I couldn't stand it anymore. Please be gentle.

This all used to be in the main Tutu release thread, but apparently the mod moved it all into it's own "debate" thread an hour or so ago. All the better.

( It starts out pretty normal, with the users on the AnimeOnDVD forums celebrating the DVD release of a pretty good show... )

And it all goes downhill from there, with accusations of trolling, dub bashing, etc.

And, the icing on the cake - apparently this is a repeat of a thread that happened back in November. This is the second time that they've wanked over the name of a girl in an animated kids' show who changes into Princess Tutu. Who also changes into a duck. Who, in girl-form, goes to ballet school where a giant cat teaches.

It just feels so surreal...but I guess I shouldn't be surprised anymore.

Edit: Make that the third time.

Edit Again: Just had to post this little gem by Vicious: "You want to know why you're an 'elitist'? Because of those comments you just made. You still think all blacks need to sit in the back of the bus too? I mean why stop with dub fans? That's why you're an elitist!!!" Which, as jarhead puts it, is the "biggest non sequitur EVER."

Mod at the Maria-sama ga Miteru comm doesn't like fangirl Japanese, or people who 'don't know the language well enough to use it' using it. Some agree, some disagree, commence arguing.

Edit: Retracted my earlier statement about the comm being "elitist". Thanks to usagiko for explaining things.

I'm hoping this is really wank. It is a couple of days old, dead-horse anime wank from the boards at Adult Swim. It's a mini-wank that didn't really take off. Probably because people couldn't stand the smell of decay all around it.

( The unwashed American masses can't possibly understand Ghost In the Shell SAC. )

Then - through it all, his reasoning becomes crystal clear - it isn't political intrigue, or a burning anger at the stupidity of the unwashed masses! It's just more of teh same dub vs. sub wank that just refuses to die in the anime fandom.

Oi

Over on 4bastards, yet another person complains about stupid anime fans that only watch corporate dubs and don't go and learn Japanese. Small, but cute and dumb.

Pfeth. Poseurs. Everyone knows the only way you're a *real* fan is if you go and tutor yourself in Japanese and never ever *ever* watch dubs. Dubs are *satan*! :O

Edit: And now, thanks to a random annonymouse, we get to see "Fanfiction Idol". Dear lord in heaven. It gets better every day, doesn't it? I can't wait to see the shit-flinging that'll cause. Better go sign up for that *nooooow*.

So evidently, FUNimation is seeking fan input on a possible anime channel, that would focus on "Uncut, English dubbed anime"

People talk about it for a bit, with differing views of the company

But then Rinoa desu! posts with And isn't "uncut dubbing" usually an oxymoron? :/, and Nekoi agrees with her.

Arronius points out that all dubbing is is replacing the audio track, which is, like, basic knowledge.

Rinoa Desu!: Not. True. Don't make me force Nekoi to tell you the oh-so-lovely Shaman King story @___@

And if you people want original anime without having to read subs, learn Japanese! >_@ Ganbatte~

Arronius: the term cut comes from editing when they cut parts out to make it conform to a time frame with corresponding commercial breaks or when they remove parts such as exceptionaly violence

Uncut is frame for frame exactly how it should look, audio tracks are a seperate matter

Rinoa Desu!: I know~~~~ what the term means, I'm not supid (despite what you all might think). The entire storyline can be changed by a tweak of the dialouge. I'm not going to argue with you people about what is and isn't cutting anymore, because no one will see my point.

And when Arronius posts again, pointing out that the 'literal meaning' of uncut that RD! and Nekoi were using is incorrect, RD! screams RAWR! *flails* Just give it up, you don't get it >_@

Yes, nothing says "Listen to me, I have valid points" quite like gratutious funny faces, does it?

4Kids (the company best known for unleashing Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh! on American audiences) announced today that they have the rights to One Piece.

Wank, predictably, enuses.

Posters at AnimeonDVD and Anime News Network threaten bodily harm to 4Kids representatives, fear the loss of fansubs, and talk of buying bootlegs.

Over on LJ, the one_piece comm really brings the splooge, with some of the best reactions yet.

Funimation is the devil! (Despite their efforts to improve and release both flavors of Dragonball Z.)

My favorite, "I don't want all those little kids getting posessive over it." Because, y'know, it's a kids show, and God forbid children should watch and get into it.

"Won't someone think of the fanfiction?!?!"

"p433r teh legions of idiots who will join our c0mm!!11"

*waits for 4Kids to announce they have the rights to Naruto*

This one hardly comes as a surprise. Detective Conan, one of the most popular series in Japan, had just been dubbed. The first dub episode aired on Adult Swim on Monday complete with a changed title, and changed names. A dub-only fan has shown up on detective_conan and spouted fangirlisms about how hot the (dub) voices are using only the Anglicized names In this thread enjoy a rant about how stupid the name change from "Detective Conan" to "Case Closed" due to copyright issues is, and death threats for not knowing the original names.

This is followed by another new dub fan who complains about being "pelted with Japanese torrents" and then says they will do whatever they can to keep the peace.

Finally the first rabid fan decides things are too quiet, so she must remedy things by posting every new tidbit that she finds online as news The regulars somehow don't seem impressed.

EDIT: Minor update, but there's a lovely thread rebuking the elitists for their treatment of the newbies and another in which the topic of spoilers comes up and someone protests against ghettoizing the fandom.