"DO NOT POST AGAIN! SHUT UP! THIS "RPG" OFFICIAL SUCKS! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Are you shutting up yet? If not SHUT UP!"

When rabid anti-yaoi fanboys step into Peacemaker Kurogane RPGs, coming soon on FOX.

There's some classic yaoi wank going down in the tiny fandom of Death Note. It's a manga involving a psycho main character, Raito, with a Notebook of Death who wants to cleanse the Earth of criminals. Also, a super smart teenage investigator, L, who attends school with Raito while attempting to gather enough evidence to arrest him. (Are you sensing where the slash is coming from?) That's a really terrible summery so just go read it.

OP: What's up with all the yaoi! AREN'T ANY OF YOU REAL FANS! And I am not a lesbian!
Others: RIGHT ON!
More Others: Plz be rational, people.
Even More Others: STEP OFF, BITCH!

The OP has isn't commenting so it's small but still mildly amusing. Btw, the main reason I'm posting this is because I want everyone to read DN because it's the shit.

The lowdown: Samurai Champloo is a new anime that's basically Cowboy Bebop set in feudal Japan with rap in place of jazz. Sexy art, sexy swordsmen, spunky lass and the scent of sunflowers. No, I don't get the last part either.

The controversy: Samurai are totally ghei! vs. It's all just a satiric stab at you idiot yaoi fangirls!

The rebuttal: I'm so totally leaving you losers! By someone who had not posted in the community at all...

The verbal seppuku: It's already been licensed before the fansubbers even got a chance to show it to the elite anime watchers! And the "death of a great anime before it's even started in Japan ::slumps head::" whilst someone chops the head off to spare them the pain of hara-kiri at the mere prospect of dubbing.


All because of the damn gay fireflies...

This started about a fandom, but the wank really isn't about it, so I'm not sure if this is the right place to put it.

It's pretty wanky, though, so...

I posted something about yaoi on Saturday Morning cartoons, given that in the comic this show is based on, Static's sidekick has a crush on him.

The first reply is not really all that wanky, as girl complains about her homophobic family.

The reply to that takes issue with her methods in dealing with them

Oh boy. Open the floodgates.

You don't understand me!

No excuses!

You prick! You insulted me!

And down a little more...

Telling it like it is

I don't expect pity (ACTUAL QUOTE)


And it's *STILL GOING ON*, so watch it for more wank, wank, wank!

Hiya there people! I'm here for the snark (well duh!) and I've been reading posts for months now.

Because my fandom (Yami no Matsuei, or Descendants of Darkness) is most likely the least wanky fandom EVA!!!11! I have to search around for my daily dose of wankage. This time, the wank came to me. Ooh, and it was flamy!

First it was in my friend's journal. The original flame is, sadly, deleted, but she paraphrased it there. See the comments to find out the flamer has a name. And absolutely no consept of paragraphs ^_^

Now let me remind you, this person left two anonymous flames before that. Starza has been called a pedophile and a creepy pornographer. Why? Because she likes yaoi. And we all know how wrong and disgusting yaoi is, right?

The flame is taken to fic_flames. Watch the flamer come and defend herself! She's "quoted out of context" and she only did this because her personal beef with Starza! Ok, lemme wrap my head around those comments...

...no, still makes no sense. Flame someone for writing soft shounen-ai fluff, because you don't agree with her on matters totally unrelated to the fic writing?

OKAY!

Oh, and what was that all about then? This topic.

It's an anime thread on a forum for PDA, online RPG. I know jack shit about it, but judging from what little I've browsed through the forum, there's lots and lots of wank. It's bukkake round the clock.

Starza is a mod in one section there.

Suddenly, it no longer seems so weird...

Ahh, love it when people get jumped for doing what they're supposed to do: moderate a board!

PS: biased, me? Nooo~!

So poster "Ryouga" at the Anime Jump message boards wants to know more about a series called "Alien Nine". His post references the recent review of said series, written by Christian Nutt, who frequents said messageboard under the handle of "ferricide". Notice that he also bashes Neon Genesis Evangelion while he's at it, calling it "impressionistic bullshit", among other things.

ferricide replies, basically arguing with Ryouga over his opinion of "Evangelion" (yet he still manages to answer the question).

Ryouga won't let the subject die. Neither will ferricide. Others come into the fray!

( Cut because I can't figure out how to link to specific posts on the Jump! Forum )

But they do not answer the most important question of all! What would happen if David Cronenberg directed "Cardcaptor Sakura"?! I MUST KNOW!!!!111!!1

Edit: What wank would be complete without accusations of homophobia and the hysterical denial thereof?

Oh, and Mike Toole (the big cheese) knows we're watching. *waves*

I bring you Card Captor Sakura wank.

The issue of "Is Tomoyo really a lesbian?!" pops up again here.
However, while you do have the teenyboppers who deny any form of homosexuality, you also have the people who claim Tomoyo is actually a heterosexual fetishist.

I admit, I have no respect for CLAMP's writing ability, and the ending of CCS is a huge example why. To see people argue (at length, even) something that was so bad in the first place makes my pretentious brain turn to mush and ooze out of my ears.