It's been a long time since we had a batshit insane Potter essay wanked, and a genius friend found this last night.

menolike, who posted a completely insane, incoherent essay about Snape a couple of weeks back (resplendent with the classic warning atop:

You're all set on treating the characters in a CHILDREN'S  FICTIONAL book as real life people.

 Please read the piece, then leave it for a few days, think about it, then read it again. Pretend you're Snape defending himself. Argue. Then If you still feel as you did when you first read  it.  I will be more than willing to argue each and every point. 
PLEASE:  READ 'FRANCKESTEIN' . DO NOT WATCH THE MOVIE.
Then you might understand.

has posted a brand new essay: how poor is poor Remus Lupin?

The highlight? Totally unrelated but did you notice that most of that house have students of Muggle background? Makes you wonder about the loyalties of wizards doesn’t it?

The comments in response to the readers are completely marvellous:

Just because some one is ill (MY cousin is DYING from leukemia, don't you dare compare it to being a werewolf). NOT mortally so, but exhaustingly and painfully on certain days of the month (and some women would strongly relate to that) doesn't mean that we should let them get away with their offenses too often.

This is just about the wankiest, crackiest Griffyndor bashing essay I've read in the past... oh, two days. Curse you, potterfen!

Friends, are you tired of digging through comment threads to find links to the gnashing and wailing of despairing shippers?

Dig no more!

holy god, HP fandom is fucking insane!

Innermurk's HBP reaction

Homophobia made her do it!

The obligatory Dido reference (Yes, yes, dear, go down with your ship -- make sure to use a weighted lifejacket.)

Apparently I Was Wrong

OMG BLAISE IS BLACK!

Dear Mrs. Rowling: YOU SUCK!

WARNING: DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU'RE NOT HYSTERICAL!

Atanielle's triple threat . (Now with religious sneering!)

ZOMG I had to wait an extra minute for my book!

The Funeral of OBHWF

Someone on remusxsirius needs a serious reality-check.

Half-Blood Prince -- A Run Down

WE ARE FINALLY CANON! (A nice change of pace.)

HBP_WTF. 'Nuff said. Now with icons!</i>

Tonks is just (bleeping bleep) of a beard

Someone's complaining about spoilers STILL?

The letter-writing campaign begins! YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

A Picture Message for JKR For some reason, I'm reminded of Brenda Starr.

Homophobia Made Her Do It! Volume II

Even the political communities are getting in on it

Spoilers make you a bad RPGer!

Fictionalley Park's shipping thread joins the party

Mock, and wtf_inc mocks with you! (Not wanky, but funny!)

Whiny fangirls prove they are twelve years old at heart

More protest art The last is soooo classy.

Are you sure you want a fandom, CC?

I don't think they put faces on milk cartons in the UK, liebchen...

Kenboy provides a sense of perspective Too bad he can't bottle it; it's desperately needed.

I have the right to be offended because I can't comprehend the original post! Metaquotes + huffy H/Hr shipper = wank!

Gordon Lightfoot Kills Harry Potter A filking tribute to the 'shipping wars. It came from MP3!

The Weasley Twins: Threat or Menace?

But it's different (really!) when you're making fun of MY ship!

She did it on PURPOSE! JKR supposedly targets H/Hr shippers and the SugarQuill archive.

More whiny protest art. (Locked. So much for never surrendering!)

OMG! JKR'S SO MEEAN!

The wank turns meta!

Another call for perspective Again, if madlorivoldemort could bottle this, she'd be debt-free in hours.

Wow. Someone's got entitlement issues.

And someone else didn't listen to JKR's thoughts on Snape, either.

Witherwings. Because we love proving Emerson right.

Suggestion: visit the library more often.

Reality check, Aisle Nine! (And bring a mop) </ href>

Projection, much?

Some people have a problem with reading comprehension...still.

Sigh. Kids, if you're trying to prove you're sane, "canonrape" isn't the way to do it, 'kay?"

Grow the hell up, gang! Because people are still being stupid.

Everytime you post with a H/G icon, the terrorists win! See what I mean?


Would anyone blame her? Not wanky, but funny.

Ginny bad, Draco good!

Looking for R/S wank? We got yer R/S wank right here! (Friendslocked. I guess they want to go down with their ship the way the Puppies would have wanted, with a little dignity. Or something.

ETA: Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the fandom....

The Mugglenet Wall of Shame, 'shippers edition

I'm a new member over at fandom_wank. I've been following this community for quite some time although I've never really posted anything here. Anyway, here's one:

Heard of people wanking each other when it comes to RPGs?

I just love the Harry Potter fandom for this.

A mod of some 'canon' RPG posts a wank about a player who has just resigned.

Then, people start wanking each other on How Canon is Canon and how deviated from the canon a canon RPG can be.

I know. It sounds wanky already.

Finally, people take turns wanking the original poster of the thread, particularly on the subject of 'Does Katie Bell smoke?'.

Talking about dredging up the past...remember all the angst when Gary Oldman cast as Sirius? All cries of "He's not cute enough! He doesn't have the rugged good looks and the pustules that ooze male sexuality? Where's the bulging biceps and the gigantic throbbing d-"

There was sobbing, wailing and the sound of a thousand keyboards misspelling words and replacing all the letter c's with k's!

But that's not all! There's the inability to tell apart shoddy photoshop with high end posters! There's endless barrages of "I hope you jump of a cliff!" And more! Go forth, boggle:

http://darkmark.com/galleries/details.php?image_id=2936