Background: Ubuntu is a distribution of Linux. Think of it as a version of Linux like you have Windows XP, Vista, Me, 95, etc. Some people created Ubuntun Christian Edition, which annoyed some members of the Ubuntu community who didn't see why a special religious-based distribution was needed but it was mostly a polite argument. Then, in retaliation, Ubuntu Satanic Edition was created.

Cue wank.

Not from the Christians, though! The wank was all provided by a Satanist called HHS and another Satanist who called himself 'friend of HHS', both of whom popped up in the comments box and kept a running argument going with several different people until he randomly disppeared.

Most of it is under the cut, because it's long and takes place over years, but here are a few highlights to whet your appetite, both from him and people who were arguing with him.

HHS starts off with saying "This is very insulting to my religion. I really don’t think you should misuse the Lord’s name like that.

Richard M. Stallman, who is responsible for GNU and Linux, is a jewish psychopath who does not deserve to come near Hell. We do not want to be associated with him or anything made by this communist who never bathes and eats his own hair."

People get confused and think he's a Christian who's objecting to Linux SE. Cue HHS exploding and warning them "It’s very unclever to go against the Lord and dishonour Him and His people. When you die and meet Satan, just try calling Him “jesus boy” too and you’ll know what I’m talking about. I assume that you two are Jews because they call everyone Christian who aren’t Jews or Muslims."

( All hail LINUX -- I mean, Satan/Cthulhu/Flying Spaghetti Monster/God/Allah/[insert deity or pantheon of choice here!] )

I read the strangest rant today. How strange you say? So strange no one can agree just whether it's even a rant at all!

OP replies to requests to clarify, a few times, while a brave idealist attempts first contact, before realizing only a sucker would try to breach such impenetrable walls of WTF.

A random potshot at someone's fic-writing skills prompts the best simile ever.

The more persistent commenters dig through the layers of Bizarro-talk until they uncover the truth: OP is... 'anti-criticism'?

PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE SMILEYS.

And shattered idealism is shattered.

ETA: aslongasitlasts has studied the people of FFR. He's like a magic 8-ball, in a way.

And wank_report has some too.

ETA2: Modly intervention. But he wants to be banned. No, really.

ETA s'more: Post got blanked and F-locked. Comm membership is open, though.

The ETA Apocalypse Now: Comments are being baleeted at random, and the original post is replaced by the preface to The Picture of Dorian Gray. It's the final troll blowout, people.

ETA Captain Obvious:: Oh, so that's what started it. Taunting the mod, and then deleting comments (A no-no in ffr^2). He's banned now, but you wouldn't know because the mod comment that said that is... deleted!

ETA Cry For Justice: There are 409 Google caches of the wank still with pre-baleetion comments. Saving the ones I can before they update.

Thanks to the mousie at wank_report!

Remember this wank? Which involved this guy? Well, if you're wondering what that rattling noise you hear is, it's the sound of head-desking over at TV Tropes, and it's all thanks to him.

---

Notes on the Source Material: There were 14 pages of comments, and just after I finished documenting the hijinks on page 12, everything got bahleeted. I snagged screencaps of pages 2-11 (which is more than Google cache got) but the most comprehensive record of this wank comes from my raw notes. Below the cut, you'll find a summary of the wank with links so you can bamf around and read the just interesting bits of the raw notes. The screencaps can be found here.

---

( Cosmetor Saves the Internet )

These two comments, made shortly before the bahleetion, are rather telling:

(15021) Dire Sloth: So... that Fan Dumb thread... it's kind of dumb.

(15022) Tzetze: I don't want to hear about that thread again.

---

ETA the 001: (Thanks to galateus for linkage, and ari_o for linkage that led to more linkage)

( Cosmetor Has Saved the Internet Before )

---

ETA the 010: (Thanks to boomstickjones for linkage to the latest, hottest, breaking news!)

Internet Does Not Want to be Saved, Banninates Cosmetor

2; Fast Eddie: After review ... People tried to reason with him. This is the second time he's been around, spreading chaos. He didn't really break any rules, but being around him is a pain in the ass.
Block installed.
7; Fighteer: Whew, thanks. That Fan Dumb argument felt like it was sucking the brain from my skull.
9; Some Sort of Troper: It feels wrong to me that the thread was deleted, it should have a more fitting end. Something like the house at the end of Poltergeist, it should have imploded and been sucked into hell.

( Spoilers for Torchwood and oh god great linky madness within. Enter at your own risk. )

This post brought to you by the ridiculously helpful mousies on wank_report, the letter W and the number 4. (The W is for wut and 4 is how many cups of coffee I've already had today).

Well, if you're looking for some real crazy, look no further than digimon!.

Overlord_Mordax wants to know why people like Ken. Or as one user puts it, why people like her. Mom jokes are taken seriously. Anonymous gets involved.

Mordax BAWS on her own journal.


***brought to my attention by a lovely mouse on wank_report

As those of you who haven't been living under a rock may know, a new Star Trek movie just came out. Over on fanficrants, roq is upset about this. Apparently, TEENAGERS are now WRITING in HER fandom! Quelle suprise!

She has some choice words to say about it.

( Wank long and prosper )

Part the first: A T-shirt is auctioned at a convention, with Jared [actor playing Sam] wearing the shirt during the auction. Misha Collins [Castiel] bends Jared over to sign it. Jensen [Dean] turns away and buries his face in his palm. The audience roars its approval. Watch the video. (The lazy can skip to the 2 minute mark.)

The question: Is this (a) funny or (b) abusive toward poor Jared?

Oh, come on. Like it was ever going to be option (a).

Part the second: But, wait! We're overlooking another traumatized party in this debacle: Can't you just feel Jensen's deep and agonizing pain? Maybe keepaofthecheez can't, but susannaheanes can! (For reference, see also Dean will never be a misogynist because I like him and Jensen's freckles: like melted drops of caramel.)

She goes on to express her personal outrage. Nothing captures the context of the original event better than a closeup still of Jensen with his face in his hands. How could anyone dare to laugh at this portrait of a man in soul-searing pain? (The link is to one of esorlehcar's screencaps, as susannaheanes later locked her post. esorlehcar has preserved some choice quotes and several more screencaps.)

AND SPEAKING OF WHICH...

Part the third: Persecution! Is there anyone on earth crueller than esorlehcar? How dare she mock a post that was made in susannaheanes own journal? My God, she must have had multiple tabs open to be able to cap the unlocked version of that post-- or have taken screencaps when she first saw it. Clearly, she's the overinvested one here.

If only fandom_wank would identify and mock the true wankers in Supernatural fandom, and stop picking on poor susannaheanes.

I've got to start checking wank_report more frequently.

I thought I'd pop in and see what HP fandom is up to this day. And, whatdayaknow? My favourite Slytherfen are still around. angakkuq posted about this here for the_hms_stfu

The title Rehumanizing the Slytherins: How Fandom Gave Humanity Back to a Quarter of the Wizarding World" made me weepy, albeit because I was laughing so hard. The linked essay is only a precis of the 20 page "academic presentation" sagedarkwoods gave. It's pretty standard pretentious fan meta, with headings such as "Queering the Slytherin Identity". (To her credit, there's no argument being made that being a Slytherin is just like being gay, only that some fans see it that way.)

The comments, on the other hand.... I'll just excerpt my favourite:

( This causes self-esteem issues and mental health problems. )

ETA: Bonus Wank:How Would Harry Potter Judge Susan Boyle? in which it is revealed that Snape is just like Susan Boyle, and Harry is Simon Cowell, but meaner. On the other hand, JKR is Simon Cowell, because JKR has had makeovers, and Cowell arranges makeovers. (Hat tip to mariem_1 for links in her own post.)

In Part III, we saw what happened when Lady Sybilla tried to tangle with the Twilight Lexicon mods for the last time (they banned her), and watched in awe as Wikipedia users worked "around the clock" to get her Russet Noon article deleted. You can still find "The Wikipedia Wars" linked on the Russet Noon website, but you'll have to scroll down past...

The FanHistory Wars.A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away....

Artistic revolution (who, for reasons which will become blatantly obvious, is a suspected sockpuppet of Lady Sybilla) edited the shit out of the Russet Noon fanhistory page. Artistic revolution has a pretty one-track mind, it would appear. Or two-track, if you count Lady Sybilla as a separate topic.

In the midst of all those edits, there was no shortage of information about me, Sybilla's own favorite "stalkarazzo." (I know I'm her favorite, she says so herself on the Russet Noon website.) The following information is culled from the Revision as of 00:27, 21 April 2009 version of the page.

Although Caito posted the email text on one of her many Journalfen pages, her only acknowledgment of Sybilla's concerns was: "I'm totally over this email business. I have a spam filter and I intend to use it. If someone wants to continue discussing this shiz, she can do so in the comments like everybody else." Strange reaction given that Caito's Whois record for her site openly discloses her gmail address:

At this point, Artistic revolution somehow thought it was appropriate to include my mailing address and contact information. Yes, in the middle of the article for Russet Noon. But that's not all! She did go on. I bolded my favorite parts!

More recently, Caito provided us with a video example of how the attention-whoring for which she mocks Sybilla is more contagious than a disease. Ironically, while she spends her valuable time making fun of the ''Russet Noon'' author for trying to exploit Stephenie Meyer's popularity, Caito, too, seems to be riding the wave of the ''Russet Noon'' obsession. And she does so quite gracefully. If it weren't for Caito, ''Russet Noon'' would have never achieved taboo status.

... On April 3, 2009, LadySybilla emailed Caito and asked her to stop her "online stalking activities." On this email, Sybilla warned, "If you don't, I will notify as many administrators as I have to until they take action." Sybilla then contacted the Journalfen technical support team to ask how she could contact an administrator in order to report libelous accusations posted by some of their users. But, instead of responding to Sybilla's concerns, the JournalFen support team (if, in fact, there is one) forwarded a copy of the email to Caito. This incident may or may not prompt internet users to wonder about the legitimacy of Journalfen. Is Journalfen an actual company? If it is, who are the tech support staff and/or administrators behind it?

... Judging by the look of things, it won't be Sybilla who will be profiting off of ''Russet Noon'' sales after all. Let's see what happens when Caito and her BFFs at Twilight Lexicon get their hands on a copy of the novel in September.

All that has since been nuked from the actual FanHistory page, and replaced with more evenhanded material. People here at FW went a little flaily for a bit, as a software snafu made it appear as though FH mod Sidewinder had been the one to add my personal info when she'd really just meant to take it down.*

Then the mods brought the hurt down on Artistic revolution, who has been banned from editing the wiki for two whole weeks! She's really sorry, though, guys. Please stop throwing stones at her, and let her catapult boulders at others in peace.

But it's not like Artistic revolution has been the only one tooling with it, either. Some anons got in and tweaked it ever so slightly, like changing the story summary simply to "OH JOHN RINGO NO!" Editing the Russet Noon article is temporarily locked to admins, due to anon vandalizing and a neutrality dispute.

Personal notes:

1. I do not know what end anyone would hope to achieve by posting my address.
2. I'm not BFFs or even BFs or even just Fs with the TwiLex mods, but I sure do like them more than I like Lady Sybilla.
3. I have no clue how I would stand to profit from anything having to do with Russet Noon.
4. I have no idea who Lee Thomas even is.

*Aside to FanHistory folks: Thanks. I really appreciate what you did. Do me one more solid? I did respond to Lady Sybilla's concerns about my "accusations", but I guess it got lost in the epic wave of comments. Like I said before, Lady Sybilla is welcome to come engage me in comments, but as far as I know she has yet to do so. Muchos gracias.

ETA: Artistic revolution rides forth on teal deer to appeal to Laura's professionalism.

ETA 2: Laura responds!

ETA 3: The Russet Noon website is now basically a hate shrine dedicated to me and FH mod Sidewinder, complete with Photoshopped screencaps of me interacting with people I've never actually interacted with. Oh, and also my contact information.

You know, I'm starting to get the feeling that she doesn't take criticism very well.

ETA 4: From Artistic revolution's usertalk page:

I'm not interested in antagonizing you. You have been objective, but I still have to insist that Sidewinder, whoever she is, hasn't been. She might not have the same IP address as Caito, but her editing patterns are dubious. I have listed the evidence on my website because I'm blocked from doing so here. If I'm not allowed to edit the article, then at least Sidewinder should also be prevented from tampering with it any further.

All in all, as I said before, I'm not interested in antagonizing you. Based on your reasons for why Wikipedia blacklisted FH, I know you can understand how I feel in regards to Russet Noon. I have seen that your procedures reflect professionalism. This is why I appealed to that.

I sincerely apologized to both you and Tikatu, but never received a reply. At least at Wikipedia they lifted the ban. Sure, they deleted the article, but they were reasonable enough to lift the ban. I'm sorry if the procedure I followed to try to negotiate with you guys was not what you expected.

I would much rather have you delete the Russet Noon article altogether than to continue with this conflict. Once again, it is not my intention to antagonize you.

So, yeah, Artistic revolution is almost certainly Lady Sybilla.

ETA 5: The hate shrine is now down from the Russet Noon site. It's been replaced with a paragraph about how "the wars have ceased" and the rest is now ostensibly about the fanfic again.

ETA 4-24 7:22am Tokyo time: In case anyone was wondering how Lady Sybilla was taking the news about Peter David's community parody-in-progress, here's the reaction from her twitter:

# it's an honor even though it's a satire, because Peter David is a very seasoned writer
4 minutes ago from web

# many fanfic writers of the net will be uniting to write Potato Moon. The creator is comic book author Peter David
4 minutes ago from web

# let's hope this communal novel will inspire many more to come. I'd love to see a serious thriller or drama like this
7 minutes ago from web

# communal novels are a new genre, there are not many of them that I know of. I'm very curious to read Potato Moon.
8 minutes ago from web

# I'm very proud to announce that Russet Noon has inspired a very unique parody, Potato Moon. It's a communal novel
8 minutes ago from web

The Russet Noon website has also changed. It no longer makes mention of any "wars" whatsoever.

ETA 7: "You are invited to read our latest press release, "Lady Sybilla: The Darth Vader of Fandom."* It appears that Russet Noon has already achieved taboo status without having even been released yet. That's what happens when a Darth Vader figure like Lady Sybilla is created. And now she's found a worthy opponent: Peter David."

*That link goes to a c&p in my journal. To view the original (and give LS more hits) click here.

ETA 8: Her tweeting continues, c&ped here.

ETA 9: The first part of Potato Moon is up... I have a FanHistory page now, and actually I kind of like it, especially the graphic and its caption... and yes, my little lolcats, you can has more ONTD.

ETA 10: She just updated the Russet Noon site again (screencapped here), linking to the articles that appeared on Comicmix and IMDB. (Except her IMDB link actually goes here, where you have to scroll down halfway down the page the relevant blurb.)

ETA 11: Peter David's Potato Moon has its own Wikipedia page! It is a thing of true beauty and you will never, ever guess who started it. But to avoid the situation that occurred the last time she wrote articles on Wikipedia, she's asked another user to edit the Potato Moon article for her. And he is (adding links to the Potato Moon blog entries, at least)! He just wants to know more about who AV Paranormal is. This should go well, I think.

ETA 12: She's linked to something on the Wall Street Journal site now. What the lemonfresh hell?

Lady Sybilla put out another press release. She also showed up at the Twilight Lexicon again, since that went so well the last time. (When the formatting gets hard to read, check it here.)

(Fanhistory links are all nofollow.)

After her Wikipedia article was deleted (you can go to the Russet-Noon webpage for more information), Lady Sybilla edited the shit out of the Russet Noon Fanhistory page all by her lonesome (despire Laura Hale asking around on Bebo whether anyone else had anything to contribute).

And in case your blog entry about the whole affair shows up there, I'm sorry. Lady Sybilla farmed the Russet Doom Supplementary Links Collection and changed my format a little to make the attention seem less wholly negative.

Oh also I put together an entry in my journal with links to screencaps and transcriptions and things, for quick and easy reference. 

For those just tuning in:

Lady Sybilla wanted to put out Russet Noon, her tribute sequel to the Twilight Saga via sockpuppet publisher. Smeyer never drew her characters, so this totally wasn't copyright infringement. She put out press releases, a Youtube reading, and listed her book on eBay months and months before she intended to make it available.

Then, of course, the "massive hate campaign" began. Darn Earth logic!

I myself wrote no less than four separate versions of a wank report, as I tried to keep on top of everything (and eventually lost my grip on sanity).

Lady Sybilla did not take this well. She pretend-banned the russet-noon site, taking down its former glory, then changed it to goad voyeurs.

And what did I get for my efforts? Emails from Lady Sybs herself.

Now she's put up a message directing us to the interview she did at a Brazilian fan site.

In the words of Stephenie Meyer, "When a story demands to be written, there's no way to resist."

Yes, Sybsy baby, and your story demands to be put down. Um, I mean the reports on you, not Russet Noon. Your tomfoolery must be chronicled for posterity the lulz.

But wait, there's more! Aaaaaaand she's back to writing press releases. It's the Foforks interview with this blurb at the end:

AV Paranormal Publishing is an independent publisher in the Los Angeles area. We publish online books, digital art and paperback novels. No unsolicited manuscript submissions are considered. We accept query emails with a short synopsis. Email your queries to submissions@avparanormal.com

O rly? Also the Twilight Lexicon is back to smacking her down. Kisses, kids!

And guess what just came up in my Google reader? This post by Karen Knows Best! Which led me to go and check...yes! Lee Goldberg is back on the case!

( Now for the tl;dr... )

In other news, I'm totally over this email business. I have a spam filter and I intend to use it. If someone wants to continue discussing this shiz, she can do so in the comments like everybody else.
ETA: Yes, we can haz more press release.

trevelyanl85a2 posts in Girl Gamers that he is mad because he tried friending people on Xbox Live and they didn't give him enough play time.

In his words: Whenever I asked what was up, excuses were made saying "oh so and so of a friend wants to game with me, maybe some other time" or no response was given at all. When I asked later if they want to game, for those who said "maybe later", they gave the same excuse again.

Add in his claim of "mild Aspbergers" [edit: his spelling, not mine] and his wondering if no one wants to play with him because he's a guy and you have a good culture for growing some wank.

95 comments and counting.

ETA: We now have apology.

Breaking: Judge rules for Rowling in 'Lexicon' book case.


Note: My understanding is that SVA will not be appealing anything, because SVA is not the one named in the suit. RDR is. No word as to what he'll do.

(Watch That Page for ETAs.)

( Read more... )

ETA 7: JKR's agents want to see SVA's new book, with bonus comment wank at Mugglenet (OH GOD NO PLEASE DON'T BE INFRINGING I CAN'T GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN); Dear Author comment wank, with bonus Nora Roberts; NPR's audio coverage; clearly, Diane Duane is using the Leaky Lounge lawsuit thread for her own nefarious purposes.

ETA 8: And the appeals begin. Also of note: "Rapoport said the legal tangle has boosted business for his company."

So, there is a petition aimed towards Stephenie Meyer and her publisher Little, Brown that's actually more of a letter about why Breaking Dawn sucks and what the author (of the letter!) would have done to make it better. It has received 1152 signatures so far.

When it broke a thousand, the petition's author emailed the following letter to Seth*, the maintainer of StephenieMeyer.com:

Seth,

I completely understand that you are not the whipping boy for Stephenie Meyer, but she has given us no address to reach her directly, so sadly, I have few choices- and one of them was to send this to you.

My name is Heather Faust, and I have written a letter to Stephenie and to Little, Brown. As suggested by a number of others on message boards, I posted this letter as a "petition." Today we reached a thousand signatures. (It has only been live for a few days.) We will continue to leave it live and see how it grows.

I feel that it is well written and respectful, and I would hope that you would take a few minutes to read it. If it gets through to Stephenie, well, I'd be thrilled. We are not looking to hurt her, we aren't looking for her to rewrite it... We just want our opinions acknowledged, and we'd like to no longer be referred to as a "vocal minority." We'd also love it if she'd be able to answer our concerns with more than just "it's fiction," "I'm not a biology major" or other brush offs. We don't, of course expect that at all. But just a simple "Yes, I hear you, I'm sorry that you were disappointed" would be enough for us.

Anyway, sorry that you are in the middle of all of this. That must suck for you.

Thanks for your time

Seth responds:

( In an attempt to keep the books clean and not make young girls think about things that they don't need to think about, no other book mentioned anything about reproductive systems. )

*A lot of people have mentioned that Seth is not only the webmaster of SMeyer's site, he's also her brother.

EDIT: In light of the more recent wank involving FH and Laura, the links to her site have been removed.

Secret post that started it all. Specifically Secret 130.

It's an attack! But, don't worry about taking it down - I'll just try to divert attention to Michela instead. Looks like someone's never forgiven FanHistory either, and lays all the blame on Michela even though it seems other moderators there were involved.

ataniell93: There's no reason for you to know about me - that's why I repeatedly posted in this topic while signed in

SO RIGHT.

Leave Britney ataniell93 alone!

Here we finally see the truth: F_W hates me because I'm better than them!

Fail. The main reason F_W dislikes me is that I used to be part of F_W because some of my friends liked it, and then I saw that what F_W does is wrong, and instead of slinking quietly off into the dark and trying to forget it, I denounced the community. Period. I will never be forgiven for that, but I don't care, because it's not like I'm forgiving F_W next week. I still think who some of my friends are is part of the issue, but the main issue is that you all resent me for eating the red pill and waking up to what we were doing.

I guess we're all still in the Matrix.


And a personal note: Can one really be a part of F_W? It's not like we're Anonymous or anything.

As you all know, we've had a lot of n00bs join fandom_wank recently, and we've been suffering some growing pains. Once again, we urge you to read our user info and learn about the rules and how to contact the mods and all the non-fun business.

Since we have so many new baby wankas, we need some help gently reminding the young ones (and some not so young ones) of the rules. We want you to be the FW Nannies, and help us guide our sweet n00bs through this harsh, wanky world. So, if you see any of the following things:

thoughts on yaoi
out of control boobie trains
excessive posting of recipes
unfunny macros
wank reenactment in the comments
trolling, trollbaiting, trollbiting, trip-trapping across my bridge
any random breaking of actual rules

please, feel free to use the comments of this post to tattle report to us. We've set up a new community for our baby wankas, fw_timeout to spend some time, if they are caught. Make sure you join!

Remember, this will make us a stronger community!

As seen on clairvoyantwank...


LiveJournal is holding elections for a users' representative on the LJ Advisory Board. Among the candidates are jameth and legomymalfoy. There are other candidates, bugt these two have the most attention. Depending on who you talk to, jameth is a witty, widely read LJ celebrity/troll who kicks people when they're down, and legomymalfoy is a fannish member in good standing of LJ Abuse/Establishment Pig who left her fellow fen out to dry during Strikethrough.

This being LJ-related, there's wank. Sweet Mother of God, is there wank.

It starts with a post from jameth about possible ballot-stuffing and rolls downhill from there. Accusations of jameth's newest campaign icon triggering seizures in epileptics (sorry, no links - the one I saw on metafandom has been locked down). Supporters of both candidates being called trolls (too many threads to link) and accusations of smear campaigns on both sides. The "sleeping giant" of fandom being awakened. Like the dragon!

By Monday, legomymalfoy was in the lead. But that's not enough bookshop, aka Aja. Because jameth is still a menace to LJ! So she encourages people to spam fannish LJ communities to get out the vote.

Not everyone agrees. Comments are deleted. jameth shows up, and Aja freezes the thread.

And what's a fandom popularity conest debate without Godwin's?

ETA: Someone blew their Humanity roll.

Right, so there's a British cop/time-travel show called Life on Mars, in which Sam Tyler, a cop from 2006, is hit by a car and sent back to 1973, where he becomes a cop with Gene Hunt as his boss. Gene Hunt believes that there's nothing that can't be solved by slamming Sam into a wall and getting into his personal space, so you can guess that the slashers are fairly happy.

Even though it's been over for a while now, the lifein1973 comm is still pretty active. And, apparently, in general fairly friendly.

That is, until madmonkeyshow posts her opinion on Gene Hunt in the community, in which she says that romantic Sam/Gene is impossible, and implies that her way of writing Gene and Sam into a BDSM relationship is far more realistic.

The community does not respond well to being told how to write its slashfic, and madmonkeyshow does not respond well to disagreement.

Also, calling the entire community young people isn't patronising or insulting, it's simply THE TRUTH.

Madmonkeyshow gets banned from community, and you'd think that'd be the end of it, as she originally posted about a month ago.

However, madmonkeyshow continues to ramble about the unfairness of it all in her own journal. Clearly there is censorship at work here, so she will sue everyone and go to the media.