Since the last Bleach pairing wank was focused on Ichigo/Orihime, it was only a matter of time before the more er... intense(?)... Ichigo/Rukia fans would start up again.

Over at rukia_fans, new member ichirukicanon (you can already tell what this wank is about huh?), makes an intro post...

Subject: ichiruki is all that matters
hi, I'm new here :)

Rukia is my favourite character, I love her!! I just wanted to say hi, and YAY FOR ICHIRUKI!! ^__^

ICHIRUKI IS CANON!! orihime can either die or have ishida, renji can die!!

RUKIA BELONGS TO ICHIGO!!! :)

And it just spirals from there.

Ahhhh, the smell of batshit in the morning, to quote someone from the wank.

Fanficrants is often a source of some interesting wank and such, but this one hit a whole new level of it.

So there's this chick, see, she likes X-Men fandom just a teensy bit too much, as posted here in FFR.

( Hooboy. )

But it gets BETTER, ladies and germs, because the nutter in question hath SEEN the FFR rant and gotten positively irate.

( My children love him like they love Jesus! )

But wait, here's the batshit trifecta!

"scottswife" responds directly!

( UR ALL L00SERS! )

elsewhere7 gets it FTW!

I don't think it's over!

Besides, everyone knows that he loves Emma anyway.

ETA the first!: She's back! Troll or hoax, this is some primo stuff

ETA the second!: baron_waste shows up to tell us how dumb we are to think this is real:

( UR ALL DUM! )

My word, but we lot are enjoying this.

And Scott's Wife is responding to questions, complete with furbashing!

We got a troll at Joystiq.

"Daver" claims to be a concerned parent, but seems to spend much more time badmouthing games. Let's watch!

My first wank, spank me if I get this all wrong.

So over at fanficrants, lejindary decides that 80% of fanfiction is complete drivel and the other 20% is masturbation on paper. lejindary goes on to argue that fanfiction is practically pointless, because *gasp* you can’t make money off of it. fanficrants does its usual and wanksplodes.

Edit: lejindary wants FFR to know how awesome it is to be on Fandom Wank.

Edit the Second: But wait, there's more! lejindary is here to tell Fandom Wank the awesomeness of being on Fandom Wank.

Edit the Third: lejindary has deleted her account over at eljay.

So last week I posted here on clairvoyantwank. I take off the weekend, get sucked into Gaia's new game, and pretty much write the post off as a wank-that-wasn't, especially since the hatememe is now deleted. But apparently, there's others out there.

Then while LJ-surfing I run across this long-winded continuation of the wank-that-wasn't, here:

I trolled , but it's okay because waltraute is EVIL to screen comments !

But I'm really sorry!


Okay.

So.

Let's see...

chief admits she used fandom_wank to further her grudge against waltraute. By anonymously posting in fpb's LJ, i.e. trolling.

And she did this after stomping off the community when the slytherfanatics wank hit, because F_W IS OMG SO MEEN.

Uh.Huh.

Right.

Does anyone else see what's wrong with this picture? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Damn.There really is a Clueless Bug going around.

Added link: Where it all began. Remember, kids -- don't troll the wank!

(contains some spoilers for the latest episode, so beware)

It all begins when jenuyne posts a quick question in house_md:I just have a quick question. I haven't watched the House episodes from the very beginning so that might be why I'm a little clueless, but who has Dr. House had a relationship with? I'm assuming it was just Cuddy?( Cut for spoilers for the latest episode )

People answer. Then i_heart_cameron (who happens to have the ugliest icon I've ever seen. No, really. I mean it. Fear the icon) comes along with info on 'a few basic things' about the show:( Cuddy is a lesbian and has bigger balls then all of the males )

sincerly_juicy doesn't agree. About Cuddy being a lesbian, that is. This follows a very bizarre conversation in a fangirl dialect I've never seen before (ETA: It's been pointed out the argument is in Pig Latin), which ultimately descends to House/Cuddy vs. House/Cameron wankery. ( they interact )

sincerly_juicy decides to share the link with her fellow-shippers over at house_cuddy.( they all mock )

Then i_heart_cameron shows up and starts trolling the comm by posting truly horrific animated pictures of Dr. Cuddy.

What would Cuddy say? *shakes head*

First wank. Please be gentle.

ETA: Deleted link to her LJ, userinfo says she's 16. Oh well. Many thanks to smut_queen for pointing it out. *g*

It all started innocently enough, I suppose.

In the normally quite mellow elliottsmith community, ulookbutcantsee makes a post featuring some rather unimpressive MS Paint edits of photos of late musician Elliott Smith and herself.

Responses range from "very striking...and creepy...but great" to "what the fuck is that thing on the bottom" The general consensus appears to be "Huh?"

However, it doesn't end here. smokeinmybed decides to make a post of her own to mock the earlier one. Most people take it in good humor and everything appears well, but dannyell is obviously not amused. In fact, she makes her OWN post saying, "you guys are so mean :("

Predictably, wank happens complete with the age old "We're on Livejournal for christs sake!" argument.

In fact, ____science decides to join in on making posts about how mean the community is, too. Wank, as expected, happens here, too.

Certainly not the level of several wanks I've seen around here, but still growing.

P.S. I would assume this would go into fandom_wank, considering Elliott Smith is a musician . . . but let me know if I'm wrong. ;)

ETA: smokeinmybed won't stop her trolling and the rest of the members won't stop their complaining. It appears there is no mod in the house.

FUCKING HELL PEOPLE JUST FUCKING HELL I CAN'T TAKES IT ANYMORE!!!!!


harryandmione63 has posted a ridiculously batshit (even for her standard) post on the shipdebate community about if JKR is "raceist".

JKR raceist?
I think it is possible that jk rowling may be a raceist. what?!!!! you say, that is inpossible, but she says raceism is bad in her books. yes i say, but then why doesn't Rowling seem to care what black potter fans want? because black fans overwhelmingly ship h/hr, and yet r/hr still got written which has mostly white fans. I think this is raceist and i think JKR knows that black people like h/hr. (not saying h/hr has no white fans, because it does, but i think what jkr meant to say in the delusional interview was that black people can't read. Which isn't true but JKR is raceist).

Small as of yet, but my wankdar tells me it'll grow like Marlon Brando's waistline. And to the credit of every single other H/Hr shipper who has posted here thus far, even they think this chick is totally off the radar.


eta: I get the feeling this person may not be a troll. They seemed to be very serious when they got wanked for this post.

eta 2: Thanks to a sweetie on my flist, we now have part le deux in this little parade of batshit.

Yes, the community that won't quit provides more wank. "Likely to be just a troll" community member retainercase posts pictures of s0nified and beverlyfaerie that aren't bad cosplay at all. The two cosplayers are fairly well known, and are regarded well by most people. He then proceeds to make stupid comments about the pictures and the cosplayers (as most cosplayfucks posters are wont to do), but these comments are unfunny even by cosplayfucks standards.

Here is the original thread

Most of the commenters call "troll" and taunt retainercase mercilessly. Several of them think that the OP might just have a vendetta against the two girls, and guess what? He does! Here he admits that beverly wouldn't give him her number. AH! All becomes clear now! The two "victims," s0nified and beverlyfaerie, show up and join in the mocking, and later in the same thread he proceeds to ask Beverly for her number again.

It's now up to 4 pages of comments mostly mocking the OP, him responding, and people posting image macros everywhere.

So here is your daily dose of cosplayfucks wank. Tune in tomorrow, where I'm sure there will be even more.

EDIT: We're up to many many pages of comments now. And there's more fun at retainercase's journal. Thanks to ninja_stripper (I love that name!) for pointing this out.

Cosplay Troll

It's not too wanky yet, but a troll decides to show up, saying, "Bad Horse Cosplay" and post a picture of a semi-ugly woman.

Wanking probably will ensue. Or banning. If this isn't wanky enough, this is my first post so tell me and I'll take it down.|

ETA: Baleted.

In the community cosplayfucks, where we mock bad cosplay</a>, lil_wyte decides to plug a community called ana_cosplay, including the following promotional blurb:

This is a community for people who want to use a method that's healthy in moderation so they can fit into their costumes. I know a lot of people believe that this is a mental disease, but in my eyes, it's definitely a legitimate lifestyle, and hating it is just as stupid as christians hating athiests



Wank quickly explodes, 147 comments and counting.

Some of the threads are quite interesting, to be truthful.

We discover that pro-syphyllis is thought to be the next big thing after pro-anorexia, some people find the downfall of America to be all the fat chicks, and "having a psycological disorder and being raised with warped versions of the ideals your religion stand for are NOT the same thing".


Then someone steps in and says, hey, those ana_cosplay people are just fasting... they're not really into the ANA!


And, of course, lil_wyte threatens to delete the whole thing if this ends up here ^ ^ Will he carry through with this threat, or is he merely bluffing? *collective anxious gasp*



Oveall it's quite an amusing little read. Lovely ascii art toward the end, as well as much abuse of the caps lock.


ETA: the thread is now 224+ comments long, rife with trolls and wankers, a few mice, former anorexics and bulemics, and so on and so forth. Fun for all!

Over at gankutsuou, a challenge was made a while ago in the comm for shits and... more shitswell, giggles, kinda.

And it looks like it's paid off with The Best Contest Entry Ever (NWS, there's Disney characters and tears involved) by El Socko Puppeto kurama10

PLZremove kthx. People call troll. Apparently, in some people's heads, this is funny. And there is teh funnay picspam.

But most importantly, it's all about the Villefort-helicopter-penis icons.

Edit: I spell like I dance.

In the CAA, the following Trigun review is given by the ever wanky millyfan:

( When you post this at the CAA... well, that's like signing your own death sentence, you see *facepalm* )

In case the post in CAA is deleted (and it was), millyfan cross-posts it at snarky_yaoi.

And a baby troll responds to the "WANK ME!" call. And people pet it. And the wank flows...

Barely starting, but just BOUND to grow. It's yaoi wank, WHAT else will happen?

EDIT: And it HAS. Read what millyfan has to say about the troll itself. What. The. Shit. Indeed. And. At. This. Rate. I. Don't. Know. If. I. Should. Believe. It. Or. Not.

EDIT 2: More from the Troll here:
http://www.animeangels.net/forum2/viewtopic.php?p=11983#11983
http://www.animeangels.net/forum2/viewtopic.php?p=10011#10011

Edit 3: And Millyfan doesn't give up!. Bleeeh. Aren't you ever DONE with it, cutie? *poke poke poke*

kikyounosorrow is known throughout quite a bit of the "InuYasha" fandom for her hatred of Kagome. (As displayed in several places on her Kikyou shrine, as well as in forums, livejournal communities, etc.)

Several times on inuyasha she has made posts targeted at triggering fans of the character into going off. (One of which was fandom_wanked at a previous point, one of which was deleted before it could be, and a couple of which didn't reach a level that would warrant it.)

Here's her newest post.

Replies started out very civil, until kikyounosorrow and her friend prince_of_chaos accused the civil replyers of being 'rabid fangirls defending their cartoon goddess' and other such sentiments.

Post goes downhill from there, and it's still going.

EDIT: Up to 187 comments, and a mini-wank about cake!

I'm surprised no one has posted this yet. canadianbitch shows up again, posting insults in Swedish apparently.

Edit: Language is actually Sindarin. Even better. *snerk*

And then a post later, we have die_deleterius with one-liner insults on the comm itself as well as in its own journal.

Meanwhile, members ponder why deleterius's trolls suck. Another member wonders whether D_D and C_B are the same person.

Warning! First time wank! Risk of screw up high!

There's a  Live Action  Neon Genesis Evangelion Movie in the works.

The fans are not amused.

Then there's the movie posters.

Too bad they're fan art.

Quick! Don't forget to sign the anti-live-action eva internet petition! 

( The rumoured cast... )

Yes, deleterius wank again!

A new user appears. User is obviously a troll. User posts a story about how Deleterius members destroy young authors' hopes and dreams in the community.

There's all the usual lessons from Troll school: Deleterius members are obviously ugly, can't get laid, and geeks who know what Tolkien would have wanted written in fanfiction- the same accusations the troll makes in her LJ bio.

You'd think they'd at least come up with original accusations.

Please excuse the title of this entry, it describes my mood on the wank-fest currently taking place in the LiveJournal community antiyaoi.

Aparently, to zoicite84, the members of the community are "LiveJournal's young, nubile homophobes" and that they are "self-righteous, closed-minded numbskulls."

First let me direct you to the community's userinfo and the rules that reside on the page.

Rule number two states "This is not an anti-gay community, so don't make it one. I'm not going to stop anyone from expressing their opinion, be it pro-yaoi or anti-gay, but PLEASE DO NOT BE A FUCKING RETARD about it. "I dislike yaoi because I think homosexuality is wrong," is perfectly valid, but "I hate yaoi and all women and faggots should die in a fire," makes the internet sad and when the internet is sad it cries and when the internet cries I have to waste my fucking time and log in just to ban you because you're an idiot. Please don't waste my time."

Somehow in that rule alone I don't get where the troll thinks the community is for people who are homophobic. Nor do I see where it makes them think the members are closed-minded. But that's just me.

Also, rule number four states "No, we don't, as a whole, think that every yaoi fangirl that ever lived is like ______, so spare yourself the effort of posting and don't try to play the bloodstained martyr at the altar of Japanese cartoons. This sort of posting trend is also getting old."

I'm sure that antiyaoi has been the subject of a lot of fandom_wank entries, but this one is too amusing. :)

The entry in question can be found here: http://www.livejournal.com/community/antiyaoi/65716.html

Deleterius, the Harry Potter/LotR Mary Sue Report community gets its very own troll - fu_deleterius.

Everyone is amused and pinches the cute troll's cheek.

Enter insanity khroan .

( The following text might be hazardous to your mental health. Proceed at your own risk. )

I've heard of people having voices in their head, but DAMN....

Not sure if it's a first, but it's definitely some funny shit. Hope the mods let it live. Grow, little wank, grow!