Wall-E: Fascist propaganda machine or cute robot movie? You decide.

As Whomageddon rolls on, doctorwho  brings us another sterling gem. Or rather, two bright turds of wank, coupled together to form a synergistic pile of perfection.

First, cringer1982 shares that he's written a very pointed letter to the BBC about how they have portrayed Asians in their recent episode Turn Left. He neglects to mention that he's white as the fresh driven snow. Irish, in fact.

BBC officials respond with a letter that has nothing to do with anything.

Some people don't see his point.

( Meanwhile, back on the blog... )

As you all know, we've had a lot of n00bs join fandom_wank recently, and we've been suffering some growing pains. Once again, we urge you to read our user info and learn about the rules and how to contact the mods and all the non-fun business.

Since we have so many new baby wankas, we need some help gently reminding the young ones (and some not so young ones) of the rules. We want you to be the FW Nannies, and help us guide our sweet n00bs through this harsh, wanky world. So, if you see any of the following things:

thoughts on yaoi
out of control boobie trains
excessive posting of recipes
unfunny macros
wank reenactment in the comments
trolling, trollbaiting, trollbiting, trip-trapping across my bridge
any random breaking of actual rules

please, feel free to use the comments of this post to tattle report to us. We've set up a new community for our baby wankas, fw_timeout to spend some time, if they are caught. Make sure you join!

Remember, this will make us a stronger community!

Let's see if I can do this properly.

Hiatus in the Supernatural fandom officially started last Friday, and already fans are getting a little stir-crazy.
There have been small-time rumblings from various corners of LJ this season over gender issues and many of these rumblings have involved Dean Winchester, one of the two stars of Supernatural.

There are spoilers about the finale of course.
( Here )
eta: and for added FAIL, the poster of this wank has not figured out auto-formatting. Would anyone be kind enough to link me to the FAQ that deals with LJ-tags? When I try to use the search function I keep running into a page about harassment. Maybe it is a sign?

I know everyone's thought of this at one point in their lives - what would happen if an author brought their novel's character into Second Life to roleplay and explore?

Or wait, what would happen if an author brought their novel's character into Second Life...to play a sexy bunnyfur looking for happiness? Wouldn't that be a great "RP Experiment"?

Let's ask otakuoftomobiki! He's conveniently provided us with all of the wank in a single illustrated smorgasbord of batshittery (recreated on my JF journal for posterity).

( It begins! )

So he's playing himself...as a chick instead of the 46 year old guy. Harmless, right?

Then he buys a new avatar, a cute little bunnygirl, and faces a dilemma! Kacey is a squirrel, not a rabbit! And Kacey doesn't think she's attractive, and this bunny avatar is smokin' hot!

( The idea! )

But wait! The plot thickens...romance blooms in the form of a black bunnyguy!

( My Prince... )

Did I mention that this guy has a girlfriend? Like a flesh and blood one.

Anyway, the new fella brings home some creepy kids that the two adopted. I won't go into them other than to say that the pictures will creep you out.

It's about this time, just before the two bunnies are about to get married, that the girlfriend, tired of being ignored, decides to come onto Second Life to maybe get some RP/quality time with him. However, when he ignores her for his bunnygirl/bunnyboy RP and she finds out, it's not long before the anvil drops on our "Hero".

( Danger looms for Our Hero! )

I can't make this shit up, folks. But the true amazingness is that he's still insistent that this was all everyone else's fault for not understanding his "experiment"!

I must admit I was quite disappointed in Kacey’s black bunny prince. He had seemed to have great quality of character. Yet, as his video girl was taken away from him by the god, he didn’t dive into the computer screen after her. He didn’t cut himself to pieces climbing stairs of fragile glass to preserve her. He didn’t defy the gods themselves to keep her. And he certainly didn’t deny the griefers the opportunity to ruin his happy home.

Pity. It makes not for such a good story if the hero declines to be heroic.

Oh wait, it is his fault...for trusting a heartless bitch who stole his My Little Ponies and dumped him. And so he has his retribution in a separate post:

So, Enelar, if you’re reading this, as I know you will eventually. I just want you to know that my ponies are not happy anymore. That piece of my heart they carry resonates with my recriminations for all the pain you’ve caused me. There’s an accusing glow in their eyes, reminding you of how much I loathe you for what you and your friends have done. I swear by the innocent SL children you callously orphaned, neither I nor my ponies will ever forgive you.

In fact, my dear Enelar, my ponies hate you. The loathing I feel for you in my heart is transmitted to them, just as my love for you was in the past. Now they watch over you at night with glaring, accusing eyes - like something out of a Stephen King movie. You are surrounded on all sides by the ponies I invested my magic in. Open your eyes in the dark and feel them watching you, loathing you for the pain you’ve caused me. Haunting you with the ghost of the innocent love you’ve destroyed. Haunting you, watching you, wishing to be anywhere but in the possession of someone as undeserving of pony magic as you.

Seriously, read the whole lovely post, and some of the others...you won't be disappointed. I also have a screenshot in my hard drive in case this gets bahleeted.

ETA: The ex weighs in!

And Our Hero shows up to answer strap-on questions and, no lie, offer up his thoughts on yaoi!

And yuri.

And how terribly amused he is to be 'king for a day', and what is this mythical kingdom of fandom_wank?.

And is offered some very sage advice before he digs himself deeper.

Which he proceeds to ignore.

Dude, if being considered rude is your concern? You really, really need the special help.

ETA2: Electric Boogaloo - Journal bahleeted! Still googlecached here - can anyone get this on their site somehow?

And, after some more googling..

His attempts to save the furry fandom from being all about sex. - I love that he says he never made it through high school.

ETA3: The Revenge FLOUNCE - The wound is slowly spreading out to engulf my entire being.

( Under the cut just in case )

Archives of his magnum opus.

Web Archive of his bio.

Thanks to hooloovoo_too for finding these last juicy bits for us!

ETA 4:...yeah, I got nothin' This guy just doesn't know when to quit!

( Also, his revised farewell on his dA )

God, this is delicious.

FINAL ETA: He now has a sanitized "POOR ME" version of the original post here: http://symphonic-rp.livejournal.com/56939.html

Thus I conceived this entry, not to justify anything, but just to give those on the internet who had seen the fabricated story a chance to get a glimpse of what the characters and players involved had really been like. And also to share what, to me at least, seemed like a beautifully, if somewhat tragic, story that deserved to be set down in words, rather than being allowed to just pass and be forgotten, as tends to happen with most stories that enfold on Second Life.

Oh yeah, and to completely portray himself as the poor victim of circumstance and paint Enelar as a psycho hose-beast. That's, of course, what REALLY happened.

From wank_report:

starblade-enkai is a very unhappy dragon otherkin. In fact, he's outraged.

Why, you ask?

I can't explain the horror better than the man can himself.

A sample:

IT REALLY PISSES ME OFF WHEN A PREDATORY FUR TURNS PREY AND THEN EVERYBODY'S EATING THEM! WHAT THE FUCK, WORLD? WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WANTED TO BE EATEN! FUCK THIS SHIT!

Don't you feel sympathetic? Of course you do!

Sadly, many of his commenters don't. They think he needs professional help. Others think he should ignore those meanies.

But he will punish everyone for their hateful lack of sympathy! He's LEAVING FOREVER.

He's totally serious about that flounce, people, because he hates you all. so. much. He'll be leaving any month now.

So much, packed into so little space.

In vergil_fangirls, rosiesintherain posts:

I know I'm going to be stomped with flames and insults for asking, but why exactly do people like Dante/Vergil?

It's something I never understood. I understand people appreciating the brotherly (FAMILY) love between them. The fact that they're so different and would definately be willing to kill each other, but they can't bring themselves to completely hate each other. Lady and Arkham had that too. Despite all the horribly things that Arkham had done to both her and others, she was still saddened when she killed him. Same with Dante. Despite what Vergil had done to him and was planning on doing to the world, when he left the human world forever, he was saddened by that too.

I don't find it romantic in the least and I don't understand why people try to make it out to be. I don't think someone can completely hate their family member, and DMC3 decided to play on that. And it's fairly obvious that Dante likes women. He hits on almost all the DMC girls, has naked pictures of women in his office, and totally got a boner the moment he saw Nevan. I don't think he's ever done that around Vergil.

Plus.... they're brothers. That's just sick.

So since there seems to be quite a lot of twincest fans here, I'd like to hear what they have to say. It confuses me when people dislike Dante/Trish because Trish is a clone of his mother, but turn around and say that two brothers fucking is hot.

Just curious.

( YAY WANK! )

ETA: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE GODWIN.

Secrets kept popping up on Fandom Secrets hinting at a person who was convinced that they were dating Zachary Quinto of Heroes fame. Most people didn't know what was going on until the other day, when freetheelves2 pops out of the woodworks to tell us that she was getting bored. People asked for an explanation and things quickly devolved. I had posted to fandom lounge asking about the situation and as it devolved into wank twentythree posted it to clairvoyantwank.

The next day, the entire thread of wank disappears. Too bad the internet never forgets (it's a zip file with saved webpages). Another thread is started to discuss the deletion. It's decided that they should take it to a private journal to save it from all these mysterious deletions (about three threads have been deleted at this point). cazrolime creates a post to discuss the situation. The discussion of this thread on FS is later deleted.

This is where the fun stuff begins. It comes to light that freetheelves2 is using her psychic mother to figure out who's been posting secrets about her and sending her 800+ f-list after them. And her point of contact with Zachary Quinto is her 12-year-old medium sister. That's right folks, apparently she's dating him on the astral plane! And he sends her letters and family heirloom earrings through spirits, through her medium sister...or something.

All is full of lulz until the cavalry arrives to defend their friend's honor and break Snacky's Law. They staunchly defend freetheelves' sanity, while slinging around the word moot (which apparently meand vagina down under). The defenders start taking a page from freetheelves' book and deleting their comments as they are attacked by mice enraged by their comparisons to current tragedies in the news and attempted guilt trips about the possibility of freetheelves hurting herself.

And if that wasn't a fun enough romp for you, the mice and medoroa bring the funny with an amusing exchange of Sylar/Mohinder wedding photos.

Edited: freetheelves2 addresses the issues and breaks Snacky's Law and she is already aware of our presence. Thanks a lot numbnuts mouse.

Edited again: Annoying sock is annoying revealed to be a freetheelves supporter. What a surprise.

A Note to the Mice (and anyone else asking)
We actually have rules here on Fandom Wank. Rule number 6 states Do not link to locked material. So no matter how much you want proof or lulz or whatever from FTE's super sekrit filter posts, you can't have them. Please stop being morons and asking for them. Certainly don't post them! The mods will take your mouse power away.

Hey look! A mouse wrote this wank a Theme Song!

Yet Another Edit: Some of the former super secret filter friends are doing a little Q&A Thread.

A Note to the Mice (and anyone else asking) Part 2
Snacky says "summarizing the flocked posts is pretty much a no-go here too. This is a JF-wide thing, not just a FW thing, and we'd really like not to piss off the JF admins and respect their wishes."

Let's review:
Don't link to locked posts.
Don't ask to be linked to locked posts.
Don't c&p locked posts.
Don't encourage the posting of locked posts.
Don't summarize locked posts.
Don't [verb of your choice] locked posts!

Another late 90s wank. Sorry about that; it's been harder than I anticipated getting good primary sources online for some of the epically hilarious earlier stuff. But this one's got a certain amount of meat on its bones.

Anyhow, someone said something about a "new VB", and while I realize that they were probably referring to Victoria Bitter, as that would make sense in context and all, it reminded me of another VB. A VB whose name is seldom spoken, for reasons ( concealed herein )

laryna6, who already has a history in the Devil May Cry fandom, has created a bunch of new communities: spardaxeva, dantexnevan, dantexalastor, dmc_yuri and vergilxlady. Given that the fandom is composed of AT MOST about 150 people, and the sole fanfiction community, dmc_fics, gets about one new fic per month in its good days, people ponder out loud the need for so many communities fractionning the already tiny fandom.

laryna6 doesn't take too kindly to this and deletes negative comments.

_sirius_denial, poster of a deleted comment, does not take kindly to it.

ETA: Aaaaaaaaaaaand laryna6 disabled all comments. So much for "Reasonable objections get answers, wank gets deleted."(laryna6), huh?

Unfortunately for her, we have the entire thing.

One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine

ETAA: Laryna is blaming the Ass Burgers, again. Funny how quite a lot of other people with Asperger's manage to not act like complete asses online.

OH!
This has to be seen to be believed!

On OTHERKIN, of all places. I guess it could be worse, the OP could have posted
it on Something Awful or Portal of Evil.

No, Otakin will not be ignored, Dan! Just laughed at a lot.

If we all could just admit,
That Harry Potter is racist a little bit
Even though we all know that its wrong
Maybe it would help us in this fandom, get along!


A thread is started on FictionAlley asking "Is Harry Potter racist?"


Things are decent, until(Dun Dun DUNNNNN!)


Cue regensburg on page 4:

( My favorite gems )

Hiii. Reporting in from the Devil May Cry fandom, as well as the Castlevania fandom, in which a giant WANK EXPLODEDEDED under the ever lovely LJ RP group, ergheiz_etic (avoid like a plague, by the way). They also insist Castlevania is a RPG...*headdesk*

It started out when the resident Nicolai player asked if she could pick up Lady in the OOC community. In response, one of the horrible moderators who plays a WANGSTY King from...(it doesn't matter anymore) puts up an addition in the FAQ. Mind you, the moderators don't friends lock their posts...

And this is why they do not allow Devil May Cry...


EDIT...I take that back, it seems the moderator has disabeled the comments.

Goldens are here and we managed to get the last comments: http://x.moony.nu/lins_comment.htm and http://padfoot.moony.nu/ohthewank.htm

For anyone interested in more v.v heterosexual Cat-Boy wank, I present to you:

The Moods Of Eriku: A Photo-Essay

Some of the photo captions:

Note, I never wear my shirt late at night, hehe.

I groom, yes. Just my hands though, and usually right after I've eaten ^.^;

After losing a horrible game in Half-Life, I feel miserable and decide to go to bed.

I think that's all that needs to be said, really...