snatched from wank_report

"Someone" posts a secret (#114 now bahleeted--caps?) on fandomsecrets and the image is stored on her easily identifiable photobucket account. She claims to be lonely and not have any friends and she wishes the Avatar characters were her RL friends. But she means local friends, not imaginary intarweb bitches her LJ friends.

Responses are mostly of the "Oh, snap!" variety except for the "What am I? Chopped liver?" one. It's really a very mild response though yukinoomoni is outed by name.

( She doesn't overreact at all: )

eta: F_W is not your therapist. If you can't lol at a wank maybe you need to go for a walk. I thought this was funny. lol sociopath.

Oooh...hello fandom of mine...you have been well behaved until now.

It starts over on the Tales of the Abyss LJ comm where laryna6 posts a wiki-diagnosis of fictional character, Jade Curtiss.

For those who are unfamiliar with the fandom, Jade is a magnificent asshole (tm). According to laryna6 and her diagnosis, Jade has ASSBURGERS. She goes so far to say that she and others suffering from it need more exposure and links the asperger community in the post.

Commenters disagree.

Some highlights:
Jade doesn't seem the type to use that as an excuse for bad behavior

You're reading too much into this

I think he's a sadist. NO. YES. NO.

You're an idiot! Quit projecting your problems onto a fictional character!

trevelyanl85a2 posts in Girl Gamers that he is mad because he tried friending people on Xbox Live and they didn't give him enough play time.

In his words: Whenever I asked what was up, excuses were made saying "oh so and so of a friend wants to game with me, maybe some other time" or no response was given at all. When I asked later if they want to game, for those who said "maybe later", they gave the same excuse again.

Add in his claim of "mild Aspbergers" [edit: his spelling, not mine] and his wondering if no one wants to play with him because he's a guy and you have a good culture for growing some wank.

95 comments and counting.

ETA: We now have apology.

blackjackrocket makes a rather mundane post in the pokemon community to find out if jesusatemeout still wants to do an earlier agreed upon Pokemon trade. jesusatemeout says she does, and they proceed to began the joyous dance of trading!

Sadly, this does not go smoothly. A span of time passes with no reply, and BJR starts getting testy.

"...ok, I've been waiting for TWENTY TWO MINUTES now, stalling out on that INVITE/DISCONNECT screen. Where the HELL are you?" "Yeah, half an hour. Tell me when you're *actually ready* instead of making me wait around with that insipid music going on."

jesusatemeout replies about twenty minutes later: "You could like. Not be mean. Right when I got to the Pokecenter, my internet went out. It's still intermittent. I was fucking tearing my hair out and worrying you'd freak out, and you totally did. I don't intend to keep your Lugia, I'm very happy you let me get the info with a tradeback, and please just calm down and stop accusing me of shit when it is entirely out of my control.

In fact, if someone completely disappears, I think it's safe to assume that their internet went out or something more important happened. Next time just be patient- I will get back to you when I can."

In most cases, things would smooth themselves out from here and people would go on about their lives. But really, would I be posting here if it had? Of course not.

Aside from the always amusing cluelessness of BJR, we also feature penguinsane letting her know she's banned from the pokewifi community in spite of this whole shebang not taking place there.

As you all know, we've had a lot of n00bs join fandom_wank recently, and we've been suffering some growing pains. Once again, we urge you to read our user info and learn about the rules and how to contact the mods and all the non-fun business.

Since we have so many new baby wankas, we need some help gently reminding the young ones (and some not so young ones) of the rules. We want you to be the FW Nannies, and help us guide our sweet n00bs through this harsh, wanky world. So, if you see any of the following things:

thoughts on yaoi
out of control boobie trains
excessive posting of recipes
unfunny macros
wank reenactment in the comments
trolling, trollbaiting, trollbiting, trip-trapping across my bridge
any random breaking of actual rules

please, feel free to use the comments of this post to tattle report to us. We've set up a new community for our baby wankas, fw_timeout to spend some time, if they are caught. Make sure you join!

Remember, this will make us a stronger community!

laryna6, who already has a history in the Devil May Cry fandom, has created a bunch of new communities: spardaxeva, dantexnevan, dantexalastor, dmc_yuri and vergilxlady. Given that the fandom is composed of AT MOST about 150 people, and the sole fanfiction community, dmc_fics, gets about one new fic per month in its good days, people ponder out loud the need for so many communities fractionning the already tiny fandom.

laryna6 doesn't take too kindly to this and deletes negative comments.

_sirius_denial, poster of a deleted comment, does not take kindly to it.

ETA: Aaaaaaaaaaaand laryna6 disabled all comments. So much for "Reasonable objections get answers, wank gets deleted."(laryna6), huh?

Unfortunately for her, we have the entire thing.

One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine

ETAA: Laryna is blaming the Ass Burgers, again. Funny how quite a lot of other people with Asperger's manage to not act like complete asses online.

Remember GrantM, soon to be professional voice-actor for ADV and Funimation, the 20 yr+ who doesn't want to be famous, but wants to work on 'fan favorite' anime and get recognition from the internet anime community? Well, he hasn't stopped wanking. His LJ's deleted once again. I'm taking bets for Internet dollars that he'll bring it back anyway.

GrantM has ended up on Wikipedia (temporarily) and Encyclopedia Dramatica, and most likely UrbanDictionary. I suppose it's some form of popularity, but I doubt it's the kind he wanted.

However, Grant continues to hop from forum to forum, asking the same questions, ignoring all advice, and pissing off forum regulars. His most recent outings? Why, the Newgrounds forum of course, because how better to get Internet Popularity [TM] and recognition from Funimation and ADV than voice-acting for a Flash Movie?

Grant submits his voice-acting samples to get into the Voice Acting club on Newgrounds. He ends up being rejected, with the same advice that the AOD, the VAA, and the Toonzone people gave him, and some confused but polite boggling at his reasons at wanting to be a VA.

Grant also asks 'I've just got one small request here (although none of you will probably listen to them, I'm not surprised). Please stop talking about what pro work you've done or going to do, it makes me feel inferior, in fact that's what got me worked up when I was on the VAA'. Of course, this doesn't go over very well with the Newgrounds VA group.

He also wonders [different board] whether Asperger's would affect his voice-acting or chances of being hired. Grant's self-diagnosed.

Bonus thread. Grant thinks he may have an ego problem - you do know he wants to be a VA for ADV or Funimation, right?

I can't keep up with this guy. He's all over the place.

[edit: one anon had this to say 'I swear, he's like the kid who keeps slapping himself and going "WHY AM I HITTING MYSELF STOP IT!111"'

I couldn't have put it better myself.]

Meet GrantM. He's your typical otaku - college age or so, collects anime...and aspires to be a voice-actor. For two specific dub companies.

The problem is that he doesn't want to get any acting training (only "voice-acting training"), and he wants to go all the way from Scotland to the US. He doesn't need advice, and he doesn't need to actually contact the companies, because they will read his LJ, of course! He also doesn't believe in starting small: he deserves lead roles from the start!

Because if a girl (with acting training, for starters) his age can do it (20-23 range), he can do it!

Watch in amazement at how he doesn't actually do any research, or boggle at his reasons for wanting to be a VA:

( Read more... )

Actually, almost every post in his entire Livejournal is wanky in itself (as passing anons try to give advice to this otaku with little success) - there's way too much to go on this one post.

Edit: The mean internet people are making fun of me, what will ADV think?!. Anyone know of this thread on the AnimeonDVD forums that he mentions?

Edit 2: Bonus includes him daydreaming about his triumphant arrival as a VA at Anime Expo.

Edit 3: I hear people are getting to go to dub studios and are getting work. What are they doing that I'm not?!. Well, I don't know, maybe taking the initiative and getting away from that keyboard?

Edit 4: A voice actress gets a role in an anime. He proceeds to whine about it in the same thread.

Edit 5: More Grant in the forums, spouting the same stuff to a different crowd. "There's something about that automatic assumption from GrantM that he is going to be working for ADV and/or Funimation that I find quixotically puzzling and tragically amusing." . And "The REAL reason I want to be a VA" thread.

It may be small, but it's chock full of IMBD lunacy.

Over on the IMDB boards for the Lilo & Stitch tv series (which in my opinion blows every other Disney spinoff show out of the water), we have a thread about the possible return of Angel. For those of you who haven't seen the show, Angel is Experiment 624--I think that's the right number--and, well. Let's just say there's a very strong case for her being a canon Mary Sue. But we're here for the wank! Said wank is rather massive due to the instigator's 'unique' formatting, but I'm leaving it as-is so you folks get the full effect.

( HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  )

I'm quite afraid to look, but I'm almost certain that this Nima person is probably spewing her madness all over the series' board, so if you want more of her schizoid ravings, you know where to find it.

Why does my little fandom attract these weirdos? And why do we rival Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and Dragonball Z for sheer volume of Mary Sue fanfiction? Ah, internet, you make me sad.

EDIT: Wow, I hit send too soon. I went ahead and looked at the rest of the board anyway...among other things, Nima announces Next week I am gonna kill myself. The reason I kill myself is because I am very upset. I am losing my husband and I have hard time at school and I couldn't take my life anymore. I am either gonna slit my own wrists, hang myself, place a plastic bag over my head or swallow medicines. I decided to place plastic bag over my head. Sorry guys.... I will miss all of you. I am all in your heart as always. This is my last week to talk to you guys at imdb.com</i>

INTERNET.

It starts out pretty standard. Somebody goes to the Harry Potter rating community Sorting Elite and fills out an application. A bunch of other people accuse the person of Squibbery, OMGWTF Slytherin Push, etc. Typical wank for that comm.

Then the OP comes around and edits her application -- and the splooge flies.

Included in the addendum is:
* Various quotes from the HP Sorting Hat
* A C&Ped dictionary definition of the word "cunning"
* A violation of Blackjack's Law -- Don't blame me, I have Aspburger's [sic]
* A thinly-veiled swipe at one of the community's members
* And a rather volatile rant against the community in general --

...if that makes me the embodiment of "What it means to be a Slytherin push", whatever the pretentious fuck that means, so be it. Apparently when they were hardwiring my brain they decided "Oh, this'll be fun, let's make her completely miserable and poorly balanced, so eighteen years from now, after she's figured out all the ways she's fucked up and has come to terms with them, some community of pretentious wanks will percieve her attempts at honesty and candor as a transparent effort to get into the house that she really doesn't bloody care about, because she just enjoys filling out the surveys as a way of gaining insight into herself."

Five pages of snarking, indignation, and vendetta Squib votes follow.

Good times, good times.

ETA: Uh-oh! Spoof Community Alert, thanks to this sub-thread. It's about bloody time, too.

And also...one of the original wankers in this incident attests to the existence of missing wank that has since been screened. If anyone saw and saved this wank when it was still public, please do share.