Backstory: the ten-year-old Due South Canadian Shack meme is being revived. (You may know it better as the "trapped in a mountain cabin fanfic trope. But sexier. It's a sugar shack.) Why is it a Canadian shack? You'll recall that Constable Benton Fraser's actual home is a shack in the Territories. It's a nice place. So nice that it gets blown up, like, twice.

Anyway.

Staranise is not happy with this. "Shacks" is a bad, bad word for her. "Shacks" are what First Nations people live in. (Please note that reservation houses are often horrible because the Canadian Government is terrible to its people but that is another story.) They belong to poor people. They certainly aren't cabins. That's something entirely different.

She also has no idea what shacks even have to do with the thing she's complaining about. She reveals later on that she avoids Due South, and may be under the impression that the two cops in it are rich, because cops. But that's not going to stop her from having theories.

But the real problem is this: This meme will cause people to think that Canada is an unpopulated wilderness speckled with poor people and their shacks.

I have bad news for her about why she shouldn't worry what people think of Canada/Canadians: No one thinks about us period.

(Also: SHACKS. Better than igloos? y/n?)

Disclaimer: I posted a comment to this, to tell her where Benton lived. Then Ann talked me into posting this here.

Small, but quite delicious and bound to grow. It involves Bleachness and Yulieana, after all. Thank you, wank report mousies *feeds cheese*

Troll sends Kubo a comment saying that they wish Orihime was dead. Kubo gets angry. Bleachness records it, and stresses that he wasn't talking about them, only about trolls who say those horrible things about her. (As if they didn't say horrible things about her)

The Ichihime FC on BA picks up on it, and discusses Kubo standing up for Orihime... It also has a translation of Kubo's (pretty awesome) smackdown of the Orihime-bashing troll.

Yulieana picks up on this and makes a post, which draws its complaints not from BA but from locked comm FLOL.

And Bleachness keeps rolling! ETA: And rolling! And rolliiiiiing!

Let's stay tunned to see how this goes on...

ETA 1: Grudgewank or not? You decide!

ETA 2: I'm glad I don't like hate comms!" Yeah, sure.

This Avatar wank brought to you by wank_report.

It was the first day of a shiny new year, full of possibility and promise, when tireanavi created tothehometree, "a community for all those who identify with the Na'vi race in some way - people who are Na'vi on a spiritual or mental level, people who are reincarnated Na'vi, Na'vi souls trapped in human forms, people who worship the great Eywa, etcetera."

And for a time, love and acceptance swept across the land. Cake, glitter, ponies! But alas, the peace was eventually shattered.

By a Swedish, bipedal wolf manta ray.

( Read more... )

It all starts with what people are already calling LJ Genderfail: the newest beta version of LJ added a mandatory "gender" field to the sign-up process and eliminated the "unspecified" option (LJ quickly responded that the mandatoryness and binaryness of the new question were an accidental bug, and that the code was not going to go live. Of course, not everyone believes them about the "unintentional" part).

Well-known SGA BNF, former lj staffmember and co-founder of Dreamwidth Synecdochic made a call-to-action post that included the line,

It's been a while since I've been furious with anything LJ has done; having DW has done a lot to calm down my knee-jerk "AUUUGH NO" whenever Moscow does something stupid again.

A few people, some Russian and some not, are offended by this, and object. Synecdochic apologizes and edits the post after a request for clarification, but that is not enough to stop Ivorygates from making her side look bad.

Furiosity (who identifies as Russian) had objected to dismissing an entire culture because you're mad at some of its representatives, and Ivorygates takes the opportunity to school her. In her own cultural history. Because, you know, Russians don't understand freedom: it's not in their culture! America's special history of free speech can't be truly respected by them! (At this point Synecdochic freezes the thread.)

But Ivorygates isn't done! Bell had commented to Synecdochic that saying "Moscow" made a decision wasn't the same as saying "San Francisco" did because "Moscow, in US rhetoric, is that creepy place with commies and weird politics and gangsters". Ivorygates PMs her about this claim,

Are you actually -- are you actually seriously -- suggesting that identifying as a Russian national -- online, where you are safe from physical attack and can maintain anonymity -- presents you with duress identical to the harassment and persecution that transsexual and genderqueer individuals experience not only on-line, but in every facet of their lives?

Furiosity also posts to ask people to apologize instead of getting defensive when informed that they have offended "someone's race/culture/language/sexual orientation/gender identity/whatever". In her post meddie_flow comes to Synecdochic's defense with the ever popular Bingo square of "She didn't mean anything by it" with a side-order of "don't turn everything into a lynch-mob". Being offended by russophobia is also likened to being offended by the color red, and I'm honestly not sure if the irony there was intentional or not...

Snapefen are still wanking about Lily Evans Potter. terri_testing posted an essay More on Lily's behavior in SWM: Lily the Prefect? on Snapedom. An excerpt from this essay:
( Read more )

Batshit flourishes in the comments:
( Read more )

From wank_report:
Genevieve Koski, writing for the A.V. Club, offers her opinion on a recent screening of Ghostbusters for Better Late Than Never, the feature in which authors who never experienced some element of the pop culture of the past go back and review it with the jaded eyes of the present. Her opinion, of course, is negative.

( Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light. )
...I don't have to warn for Ghostbusters spoilers, do I?

snatched from wank_report

"Someone" posts a secret (#114 now bahleeted--caps?) on fandomsecrets and the image is stored on her easily identifiable photobucket account. She claims to be lonely and not have any friends and she wishes the Avatar characters were her RL friends. But she means local friends, not imaginary intarweb bitches her LJ friends.

Responses are mostly of the "Oh, snap!" variety except for the "What am I? Chopped liver?" one. It's really a very mild response though yukinoomoni is outed by name.

( She doesn't overreact at all: )

eta: F_W is not your therapist. If you can't lol at a wank maybe you need to go for a walk. I thought this was funny. lol sociopath.

Inglourious Basterds is the latest Quentin Tarantino movie. Oh No They Didn't, is a gossip site based on LJ that is big enough it's actually taken LJ severs out more than once all on its lonesome (I think the last time was when Michael Jackson died, but don't quote me). Eli Roth is the guy who plays Donny "The Bear Jew" Donowitz in Inglourious Basterds (he also wrote/directed Cabin Fever and Hostel and its apparently awful sequel. That guy).

It all started when Eli Roth discovered the Inglourious Basterds Kink Meme.

Surprisingly, not via a fangirl breaking the sacred rule of Though Shalt Not Force Porn On The People In It AFAIK, but all on his lonesome. He was pretty much amused and also decided to show it to and discuss it with Quentin Tarantino (who apparently agreed with him the Donny would be a top), and also Christoph Waltz (who played Landa in IB) and apparently his parents, because he's that kind of classy. This garnered many facepalms from fangirls in places like 100_scalps, but shockingly, very little wank.

This resulted in a lot of twittering porn at him and his discovery of ONTD. He made a I <3 ONTD sign. Something a fair few celebs have done in the past.

After that it kind of got out of control, progressing from ONTD changing his Wiki page to say he was their Official Boyfriend to him twittering he would think about all of ONTD when he jerked off the night, then posting a picture of a very used looking tissue, then to a very candid interview with questions from a lot of people at ONTD*, to-- and here's where the wank really started, pun utterly and completely intended-- having cyber sex with various ONTD'ers on his MySpace. The Eli Roth tag on ONTD contains basically every screen cap and citation, so I'm not linking to everything individually. Scroll on down.

Then it came out that some of said cyber sexin' ONTD'ers sent him pictures of their boobs.

ONTD proceeds to have a 5000 comment long flamewar consisting of the brilliant arguments (paraphrased, but I assure you all quite accurate as you will see if you click this link): YOU'RE SLUTS. NO WE'RE NOT. YES YOU ARE. NO WE'RE NOT. YES YOU ARE. NO WE'RE NOT. YES YOU ARE.

I think, in conclusion, I would like to say that despite what you may think of Mr. Roth, he certainly knows how to make a girl laugh.

*This is the only thing that is locked, however, you only have to join ONTD to see it. It's... worth it.

[ETA]: Omar Doom answered a similar fangirl written survey for ONTD, said he wouldn't be at all opposed to seeing some fangirl boobs, and the wank goes ever on and on in the comments.

A little bit o' wankery stemming from the Star Trek XI fandom, this time originating on ontd_startrek. To quote garamsythe, It's not quite a shitstorm. More like... a little constipation.

marauder_bex posts a crowdsourced celebrity gay list to the community. OP has this to say:

ZQ had 100% at the time of this but he's dropped to 95% so I think we should go vote yes a lot and try and get it back up more (obv we cant get it to 100 but we can try for 99!)
Naturally I added Chris Pine to the list, who else should we add?

Of course, some people find it funny and some people find it unfunny, and no one seems to notice the obvious thats-what-she-said statement "get it back up."

lifebehindadesk appears offended.

velocityofsound thinks this is NOT CLASSY.

hook_and_line can't even find the words.

bjzblue is confused, because ZQ does NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT act a TAD BIT gay AT ALL. NO SRSLY. They know he's gay, but he doesnt have the high, girly accent or the insight of a gay man.

gethenian does not understand why you would want to vote someone gay. That's really not cool, yo.

littlemousling would like to have some serious business discussions.

paradox74 challenges you to make a graph of how ZQ's sexual orientation would impact your life. (ETA: Here's mine!)

fofomazuzu wants you to know that IT'S OKAY TO BE GAY.

bigmamag reinterprets the list as a GIF.

And, lastly, a few would like to see fic where "Adam Lambert sits below 5 other men."

There's a whole lot of unrelatedness going on in this post, too, including Anderson Cooper hit on my friend and being gay is like FDR's wheelchair.

I thought momentarily about putting this one in unfunnybusiness, but dammit if I can't laugh at some C-Pine/ZQ my hed is pastede on yay, what can I laugh at?

I come bearing fresh Supernatural wank, because I'm sure none of you are tired of it by now.

A little background: The most recent episode, entitled "The Monster at the End of This Book", was pretty much "A Very Meta Supernatural". It involved ( Spoilers, and lots of juicy crazy follow herein )

( Wherein some fans hate the show like they've never hated a show before )

Somedays, I swear I am only in this fandom because the wank is so damn fine.

Jensen Ackles' girlfriend nauseates, cockblocks, enrages, and harshes the squee of fangirls so much, one "jokingly" asks security to remove her from a con.

These people are not just deeply stupid, they're terminally stupid.

Taking your children to see Watchmen is child abuse? -found at wank_report

Conservative blogger's "review" starts:

"If you take your kids to see "Watchmen," you're a moron.

If you see it yourself, you're also probably a moron and a vapid, indecent human being. The movie arrives in theaters at Midnight, Thursday Night. It's rated "R"--which should kinda sorta be a hint--but it really deserves an "NC-17," at the very least. And plenty of clueless parents brought their young kids and kept them there for the entire almost three hour "experience" at the screening I attended."

She can't stop bitching that it is somehow being marketed to children because there are people in superhero costumes. Or something. Are there like happy meals with these characters or something? I honestly don't have a clue about the marketing and am curious now. There's a video game--but like the movie it is rated for Mature Audiences Only.

There are comments over and over that Debbie doesn't get it. SHE DOES THOUGH! IN ALL CAPS! AND WE'RE ALL MORONS IF WE DISAGREE WITH HER!!

My favorite comment:

"Its not enough to feed children to Molech to satisfy depraved adult desires. No we must show children what adult desires are like when they are young enough before they are fed to Molech."

Yesssss, it makes them more tender to traumatize them first.

Also her photo scares the bejeezus out of me. Instead of ponies with hateful eyes watching me sleep, I am sure I will now see her in my nightmares.

ETA:
She posted about Watchmen again and the screed is even less comprehensible. One of her commenters calls himself "Uncle Joe McCarthy." D: The Godwins breakage is coming up like kudzu.

Apparently people don't like it when their RPG's are reported at the HP and LotR Mary Sues LJ community.

The Protector of the Plot Continuum, or PPC, is a forum that critiques bad fanfiction, and sometimes has self-insert stories about hunting down and extermination Mary-Sues to restore the proper plot.

The Godawful Fanficition Board (or GAFF) discusses bad fanfiction.

On GAFF , someone finds a badfic from a PPCer. One of the commentors is also PPCer.

A couple days later, the PPCer announces She's Leaving Forevermore,Because She Was Stabbed In the Back!