Apparently someone has OHNOES! been stealing Adele Sessler's "online identity." This prompts a very long and nasty post on Adele's website wherein Adele provides email addresses, IP addresses, etc on this mysterious "online identity thief."

Unfortunately, she has deleted her message board because OHNOES! people aren't NICE all the time. But the post of "she stole my online identity!!!" is well worth the trip to Meadow...whatever.

( An Adele primer...she's not legendary like Cassie, but she's up there )

Small wank, but cute. A few more pulls and it should spurt, but it's bound to be just a little spurt. You know the kind.

Following a link on GAFF that said "English teacher vs. badfic" led to Adele Sessler's Meadowhaven. It seems that Adele Sessler has gone the vanity press route with her fanfiction turned, uhm, fiction that isn't fanfiction.

Now, it all starts on this page of the meadowhaven bulletin boards. As stated by Wraxany on GAFF, Adele's fans are eating the book up and lavishing on the praise. Until one youngster says "My literature teacher made me an assignment of it... I shouldn't have been reading it during class. He came up to me as I was reading it (I thought he would have been happy to see me reading something) and marked on the page I was on with a red pen an error I simply overlooked. Now I have to read your wonderful book and mark every little grammatical error I find along the way.

Anyone who knows of Adele knows that this isn't going to go over well. But I, for one, was truly surprised when she broke out the old Not fair! Some of those mistakes were on purpose!

Uh-HUH. (This also ends up on the GAFF thread about Adele, which I already linked, and is worth looking over for a few sploogey comments and for a random line from Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead. A few good points there about Adele in general and some retrowank about her past "All Japanese look alike" comment, her deletion of threads she doesn't like, and her alleged penchant for little boys.)

But back to Meadowhaven, where a new poster posts a link to the book's Amazon page, asking everyone on the board to go and kiss the writer's ass so maybe she'll draw you some art someday give good reviews, and this is where it really starts to happen.

People do not give exclusively good reviews. I sense a war of vendettas on the Amazon page, which is a veritable orgy of wank, (IT SUCKS! IT RULES! IT SUCKS! IT RULES!) and one reviewer even points this out in her review. Adele, of course, catches wind of this, and really starts to yank on it.

People who give bad reviews are out to get me. Please go and counter the bad reviews.

They dun even own the book! (A few extra tissues to Adele for her use of "dun").

See, this kid on the internet looked over the entire book and didn't find many mistakes, so ha! (Because you know, any kid on the internet is worth ten professional editors.)

And finally, FINALLY we get Internet stalker!wank. the bad reviewers are actually stalkers. I don't know why they hate me so! I'm not going to read negative reviews. I'm going to keep writing, so nyeh. (Yes, she actually does say nyeh."

I'm sure it will go on from there, but probably not too much. Probably Adele or the mods will wipe up the stickiness and no one will ever know it was there unless the had a blacklight.

For what it's worth, I haven't read the book myself, but the wank is pretty cute.

Short wanks, long post.

This little group of wanks is very old, and now very deleted. They are from Adele Sessler, who is a fandom by herself, for herself and of herself. Some of you might be familiar with her from her Meadowhaven site. Long ago, she wrote two long Legend of Zelda fics. Then she took them off the internet, demanded that no one ever speak of them again because, in her words, "Zelda is ruining my career"! and revised said fanfictions into "original" stories.

Now, I could post the wanks in which Adele defends herself against claims of "your stories are a little yaoi-ish"... ( !cough!boys tickling each other! )

...but I'll skip that for now. (Anyway, none of us are supposed to have a copy of her fics anymore, so there's that too. I'm a bad kitty.) I'll keep it to the more fun, short wanks.

Long story short: Adele is wildly popular with a 12-16 year old art clique, a few older people in there, too, and wildly unpopular outside of said clique because of her "don't critique me and always do as I say" attitude. An odd fact is that a lot of the wank gets deleted real quickly, but a handful of people save the wank and, get this, email texts of her wank to each other. Most of the time this is kept really private, because when Adele posts anything on her website forum to the effect of "these people are mean to me!" her flunkies threaten everything from mailbombing to TOSing. You're really, really, really not allowed to say anything bad about her. Her main flunkie and the guy who runs her site has had people thrown off their ISP for saying something mean to Adele, so this stuff can get touchy.

But I just said hell with it, if anyone will appreciate some of these wanks it's F_W. I'll try to walk everyone through these because they are mostly text and due to quick deleting, very few existing links. Now where to start? How about the comment board on Adele's Elfwood site two summers ago?

It all starts when one reviewer doesn't have his nose crammed far enough up her ass and suggests a change: ( Adele, all of your characters look alike. )

Says Adele: ( What do you know? I do that on purpose. After all, all Japanese people look alike, too. )

Says, well...a whole group of sensitive, PC people, ( WTF! RACIST! This hurts my feelings! )

Adele says, ( I can't possibly be racist against Japanese, I draw anime! Plus, all white people look alike, too! And also all <i>plants!</i> You're all just picking on me! )

And that was all pretty funny.

Same month, Adele gets a blog. Around that time, one of her friends gets a life. Adele...doesn't. Take cover, she lobs the jizz and gets it right in your eye! And guess what...this one's not deleted! It still stands, a monument to self pity. IMMORTAL PAIN! ( I won't quote the entire long thing, but here are a few of my favorite lines. )


Now, the "jerkwad" mentioned in her blog, the one she broke up with because she wanted to spend more time online, is now her fiance. A few months went by after that post, and one of her friends wonders why Adele doesn't write much on her forum anymore. Her answer. In part: "I'm an extremely busy person, everybody's always ranting on me to get more art and writing done, e-mails answered, my website kept updated, I've just got engaged, I have a part time job, somewhat of a life to keep going. Dozens of people contact me every day, and I've got friends to also keep in touch with. I don't have time to read and reply to every single thread on this board."

Reowr! Is this the same person who cried so much it hurt when her one friend wouldn't chat with her every night? (For the record, Adele's "part time job" is being a secretary for her father.)

There's more, but I've already taken up enough tissues space here. But I figured some of you might enjoy the wank. Not a splooge deluge a la Crystal, but a few good face shots, right? Golly, I hope you guys like this wank. It took me a while to get it chronological. :)